My Baby is Gone...
 

Hello All,

New here, and don't know if this is the right thread to be posting in, but I had to share with someone, and I figured most of you would understand.

This is kind of a long story, so hang on until the end.

I've been wanting a Yorkie since I was a teen. At the time, I had a PickAPoo, and she was my baby. Went everywhere I went. Slept with me, rode with me, everything. She was killed at 8 years, by a car.

Anyway, I met my husband over three years ago. He already had a dog, Dolly, a mixed Whippet. He claimed she didn't get along with other dogs. So, I resigned myself to the fact that I might not be able to get my baby until Dolly passed.

Just recently we moved back to Alabama from Tennessee. We found a house with a fenced in back yard (rental). My DH began 'talking' about getting another dog. We took Dolly down to the shelter to see how she would interact. She did wonderful! So, we told the shelter director, a friend of ours, to be on the lookout for a Yorkie, for we wanted a rescue, not a puppy mill.

In the meantime, we found a house to buy that we loved. It had large fenced in back yard, room enough to run. So, we began packing and moving. The week after moving in, we got a call from Shirley, the shelter director. She had a Yorkie!! I can't tell you how excited I was! I rushed down there to get him, only to be called and told 'You might not want this dog. He just bit Shirley, and all she was doing was taking him out of my arms.' (This from Shirley's daughter.) I knew he had been abused, but at this time, didn't know the extent. I went on to the shelter, and met my DH there. I told him to go back and look at Rascal, and if he said OK, then we would take him. Otherwise, I didn't even want to see him.

I sometimes wish that he had come out of that room and said 'No, he's too violent. We can't take him.' But, he didn't, and I took my baby home.

I had been told that he was abused, but didn't find out until later just how badly. Apparently, he was hit and kicked for no reason at all. This breaks my heart...why do people do this? And, this dog came from a prominent family in the community. Of course, we were not supposed to know that at all.

After I got Ras home, I put his crate down and he went right into it. He began to growl if I even came near it, and wouldn't stop until I backed away. Oh, before I brought him home, he bit one of my DH's co-workers, because I was holding him, and she went to pet him. At first, he didn't like anyone trying to touch him while someone else was holding him. Back to the house. Next, he found a bag of garbage, and when I began to approach to take it away, he started growling, and wouldn't stop until I backed away. The surprising thing is, he did well with Dolly.

We began working with him, using a spray water bottle as punishment. He seemed to be doing much, much better. We even had a obedience trainer over, and she said we were doing all the right things.

Then came the weekend that I had to go to my mom's and left Ras here with my DH. He spazzed out. He was being really dominant with Jess, doing idiotic stuff. He has always had a problem with being curled up wherever, the bed, the couch, the floor, his bed, etc, and if you try to pick him up, he starts growling. At first, I could spray him, and he would stop. Back to the weekend with Jess. He has a 'room' where he sleeps. Apparently, at one point, he walked into that room, and began growling over his shoulder at Jess, asserting that it was 'his room' and no one could come in there. Also, he came at Jess, for no reason. Then, he pee-peed on Jess' chair, for no reason. And, he bit him.

So, by the time that I got home, my DH was upset, and ready to get rid of the dog. I wasn't, for I had not been here to witness this, and didn't know how bad it was. All that week, he was so good. I began trying a different tactic with him, where if he did something good, no matter what it was, he was praised. If he did something bad, he was scolded, and ignored.

Last Saturday night, he was laying on our bed, on Jess' side, and I went over to pet him. He wasn't asleep. He began growling, so I began pushing him off the bed with a pillow, like we were told. He turned and attacked the pillow, which would have been me. Jess immediately went and got his gloves and his jacket, picked Ras up off the bed, with him biting him the whole time, and laid him on the ground, holding him there while he stroked his belly. Eventually, he quit growling, got up and acted like nothing had happened, which is what he always did.

I need to say this...when I say 'growling' I don't mean normal growling. I had never heard this kind before. It sounds like a demon dog, and he begins to bare all of his teeth, pulling back his entire mouth. His eyes take on a different look, as well, almost as if his pupils dilate. But, then, as I said, after it's all over with, he went back to being a sweet, loving dog.

Sunday, my DH was lying on the bed watching the race. Ras was on the floor, and I had walked out of the room. Ras found some candy over beside my bed, and began eating it. Jess leaned over the bed, and began talking to him. Ras was standing up beside the bed, licking him, and being fine. Jess looked away, and Ras bit him, without provocation. The bite was through the skin, and my DH still doesn't have any feeling in that finger. At that point, he was gone.

Monday, I was getting ready to go out to dinner, and Ras was on Jess' side of the bed. I walked around and went to pet him, he started growling. I walked off, saying 'Bad dog. You're a Bad Rascal.' I came back later, and he was into his 'demon growl', he wouldn't let me get within ten feet of my own bedroom. He began jumping all over the bed, and getting louder and louder. I finally dumped a whole bottle of water on him, and shut the door. Then, he wanted out, and wanted me to pick him up.

Tuesday morning, my husband took him back to the shelter. I have never cried like that in my life. Shirley promised us that he would not be put to sleep, and that she was calling Small Dog Rescue. Hopefully, he can get the help he needs, and can be saved.

Trust me, I loved this baby, and tried so hard to help him. He had gotten better on a lot of things, but there were things that were getting worse. We couldn't be held prisoner in our own home. I loved that baby, and I still miss him, and will for a long, long, time. I didn't want to give him up, and fought with my husband over it more times than one, but after this weekend, and Monday, I saw that it wasn't getting any better.

I hope to get another Yorkie soon. Not to take the place of Ras, but to help me heal. I hope that I can rescue another one, but most of the groups want too much, or they won't adopt to me for I have a 'large' dog...40lb Whippet...I don't think she's large, and she's the most docile thing I've ever seen.

If anyone knows of a dog in need of rescue close to central Alabama, please let me know.

Thank you for listening to my story. I needed to share with someone, for it's been a heartbreaking week.

~~Melena

i am so sorry. i hope things will get better for you

Maybe you should wait for a while before having another one .

I am very sorry :(

I am so very sorry, I can only imagine how much you are hurting right now.

sorry to hear this, very heart breaking indeed.:aimeeyork

While I see what you're saying, and appreciate your input, I have been told by numerous people that the best thing to do in our situation is to get another. We did everything right by this baby, only trying to help him. As my husband has sai, he chose to leave. We weren't doing him any favors by keeping him here, for we could not fix him, even though we tried so, so hard. We only had him less than two months, but I feel as if it were longer than that. I know another baby could never replace him, and the way that I loved him, but, what I'm hoping is that I can find a baby that is not dominant as Ras was, and wasn't as badly abused. As I sit here typing, I am so sad that we couldn't fix him. I think of all the things we could have done, should have done, and yet, I know the bottom line is, we aren't equipped to fix a dog with issues like Rascal had. The only comfort I have right now is knowing that he is not going to be put to sleep, and knowing that someday, I will have another baby.

What's killing me, is he's just down the road, at the shelter. I so want to go get him, and bring him home.

~Melena

Melena, I am so sorry it did not work out for you.
Poor baby must have been so abused and didn't trust anyone.
Just a thought: Is it possible to visit the shelter, since it is so close to you,
and visit with the Yorkie daily for awhile and see if he will start to trust you?
Maybe bring him treats etc and hopefully he will start to look for you. Build
up trust between the two of you.
Those people should be hung for what they did to that poor baby.
How old was the dog?

I feel so bad for you right now....the first people who had this dog ,did this to him it is such a shame for him I hope they find someone who can handle him.
But you are not to blame you tried hard to help him.He sounds as if he needs expert help.

Tough story, sad that he was abused and couldn't get past this. But if you felt you weren't equipped to take on such a challenge, Raz will be better off somewhere else. Sometimes, unfortunately love is not enough, the abused dogs need special care, and hopefully he'll find someone who can offer that kind of care. My thoughts are with you, but maybe you need a puppy rather than a rescue, that way he won't come with issues. Not saying puppies are easy, they do take a lot of time and patience, but any problems you may encounter are easier to deal with. Good Luck!!!

:goodpost:

Wow! What a story. Sounds to me you did everything possible. That poor dog for what those people did to him. If my kids ever tried to bite me they would be wearing a muzzel for a week. But he did, makes you wonder & how he feels so desperate to retreat to that when all you did was love him. My kids have never even growled at me, let alone try & bite me. I guess it will take someone alot of time to win his trust.

Hi Archie,

Yes, we figured he had some really bad trust issues. We just didn't know how to fix the growling/biting.

We have talked about getting him back, if he can be fixed. But, we are afraid that if we do bring him back, it will 'reset' him, thus making us have to give him up again, and I absolutely cannot do that.

Therefore, even though what you suggested is a wonderful idea, I am afraid that it won't work, and even if it does, that if I bring him back home, he'll act the same way. He's got to have some serious, serious work done with him. And I didn't know how.

Also, he could already be gone from the shelter. I don't think so, for I think Shirley would have called, but still.

He did trust us, to an extent. I could even pet him while he was eating. He would let me pick him up off the ground, etc. But, there were times when I would pet him, that he would duck his head, as if he was afraid I was going to hit him.

What I feel like happened to this baby, is that he was abused every day of his life, and his only defense was to bite, growl, etc. Therefore, he was afraid we were doing the same. And, as I said, he did come to trust us to a certain extent, but we couldn't break him of the worst.

Thanks to everyone for their kind words. It really means alot to me right now. I'm just trying to make it through the day without crying. I've put up everything that was his, so that I don't see it, and breakdown. I would post some of the MANY pictures I have, (for I am a scrapper, and have tons!), but I just can't right now.

~Melena

I'm so sorry for what you went thru and are going thru and for little Rascal. That poor little guy must have been horribly abused. You did everything in your power to help this poor soul but he only know self preservation. Only time and serious behavorial adjusting will heal him. Prayers for you to find a rescue that will crave your care and love and for Rascal to get the help he needs so he can find his forever home and be spoiled and loved like he deserves.

Oh, and I forgot. He will be five in June. Therefore, he was abused for almost five years of his life. Consolation in that is that I did give him a happy home for two months, and he probably was happier than he had been since he was a baby.

~Melena

I am sure you did everything in your power to make it work. It's always
the poor dogs who have to suffer because of insensitive sick humans.
I am sure he will get the help he so desperately needs if Shirley promised
you he would not be put down.
I hope you do get the baby you so want very soon. That will take you
mind off of the one that had to be returned. It just breaks your heart
for these lost ones. Feel proud that you gave it your best try.
I guess they all can't be helped.




Good luck in you search.

Frimousse is 2 years old and went to 5 different homes before mine . She was so afraid that she would pee and poop if she was too stressed . With patience , patience , patience and lots of love , she started to gain confidence .
4 months later , she still a little bit afraid but she is going on the pee pad , have learned what a toy was for and she love to play with my other little one.

Patience and lots of love can do miracles .

I am so sorry that you had to give him up. :( Do you think it's possible that he had been hit on the head during this abuse?? You said that his eyes even dilate...do you think there was some sort of damage that was caused by the abuse?

Tammy

awww I'm so sorry about this. It was very kind of you to take him into your home. He sounds like he would be a good candidate for Ceasar Milan.

I think he just needs a lot of discipline.

I hope you find the right yorkie for you and your family, normally yorkies are very kind and loving, but since Rascal came from a bad family that did not love him, I'm sure this is why he has this behavior.

I am sorry it didn't work out. He may do better at a home with only one adult and no other pets. Maybe a women if it was a male abuser or vice versa. It sounds like a puppy would be the best way to go so you can train it from day one and know it was neverr abused. I hope he finds a home soon.

I am not sure. It's like he's bi-polar or something, for one minute he's this sweet, loving dog, and the next, he's a demon dog.

I do know that it was a male that abused him, and also, the family had children that aggravated him. And, since he was so bad, and they were a 'prominent' family, they had lots of company, and he was shut up in his crate most of the time.

I feel that he was hit on the head, but I don't know if he was damaged or not. What we did gain from this experience, was, even though we didn't find out what was triggering the growling/biting, we did find that he is ok with food, (was told he had a food aggression), that he's ok with other dogs, and that he will warm up to strangers. I do feel that if we had not rescued him in the first place, as Shirley said, 'He would have gone out the back door.'

Thanks again to all of you who have posted, and given me support. Even though he's not dead, I still feel as if he is.

What a WONDERFUL community!

~Melena

I'm sorry, but what is Caesar Milan? Thanks!!

Melena

An ex-BF had a Yorkie who had been abused. He was almost a year old when the breeder found out about it and went and took the dog back. BF got it because sister gave to him to dog-sit and it became permanent ...

He was VERY food aggressive, prone to seizures, and if you frightened him, he turned violent. Otherwise, he was a pretty typical Yorkie -- spirited, playful and very loving. (I sure missed the dog after break-up with BF:p .)

Fortunately, his problems were not as pronounced as Rascal's. (There's no way he could have kept the dog if they had been.) Dog lived to about age 13 or so and BF had to have him put down.

These are the kinds of cases that just make you sick.

P.S. : Cesar Milan is a dog trainer. Has a show on cable, "The Dog Whisperer."

While a rescue is a very noble effort, you might want to seriously consider whether that is a good fit for your family.

What a sad story! I am so sorry it didn't work out, but it sounds like you sure gave it your best!

Check out Cesar Milan's website: http://www.dogpsychologycenter.com/.

He asserts that no dog is too far gone to be rehabilitated. We've watched many many of the episodes on the National Geographic channel and have our Tivo programmed to automatically record his program.

He also says that dogs live in the present and it is we who live in the past. Dogs will pick up on your energy and act out according to your body language and the energy you project. Cesar is very insightful when it comes to what sort of body language you are unconsciously using with your dog. He teaches his clients how to project the right energy to communicate that you are in charge, not the dog. I've seen him rehabilitate many very vicious dogs on his show that have been abused. What he says is that it is the owner's habit of not letting go of the past of these abused dogs that makes them hard to handle. Also, people tend to treat small dogs as if they were human, which makes them slightly neurotic. Dogs want to have a strong leader. If you don't project that, then they feel they must try to take charge of everything, a burden that makes them anxious and aggressive.

It sounds like you used many of his techniques, but what makes him successful in rehabing a dog is his ability to read the owner's mental state and correct it, and his unwavering determination never to give up on the dogs until he has succeeded.

If you really want your dog back (and I'm not trying to push you), you might try getting in touch with Cesar and ask if there is anything he can do to help you. As I said, he never gives up in his quest to rehabilitate.

Oh, ya. I forgot to add something. Part of Cesar's rehabilitation is to channel a lot of the dog's excess energy into activity. He feels that walking a dog is one of the best ways to use up the negative energy and establish who is the pack leader. You may think that walking a Yorkie isn't necessary. But for a dog that is showing aggression, it is necessary, in fact essential. When you use up that excess energy, you have already taken a lot of the fight out of an aggressive dog. And the way you walk a dog is a very effective way to establish dominance. You never let the dog out of the door ahead of you, they have to wait. You always make sure the dog walks beside you and a little behind, never ahead of you. You should keep the lead slightly slack. This is important because a lead that starts pulling is a challenge to the dog to pull the other way. You should make sure your body language communicates a relaxed but assertive stance. It is important that you think of yourself as the dominant one, the one who is in charge of the situation while you are walking. Try to look objectively at yourself as you walk...are you stiff and tense?; are you too tentative and anxious?; or are you confident and sure of yourself? Your mental attitude has so much to do with how a dog will perceive itself. Dogs don't analyze, they just react to you and where your energy is at. So you've got to have the right inner attitude. This is what Cesar is so good at. He immediately sizes up what your energy is saying to the dog and how the dog is reacting to it.

Okay, I'm really sorry to go on and on like this, but this quote from one of the blogs on Cesar's website was too appropriate to pass up:

"As humans, we tend to feel sorry for animals that seem scared. It’s our natural inclination to try and make a frightened dog feel safe. Unfortunately, that sometimes results in the dog lashing out and causing serious injury. Our coddling can nurture unwanted behavior. The “energy” of pity and guilt can be perceived by the dog as weak."

I'm done now. Getting off my soapbox.

Oh, that poor baby! I don't know how anyone can abuse a little (or any) dog like that. Since the shelter is so close, is it possible for you to go and visit him everyday for a little while? Maybe if he's at the shelter and you visit him and take him a toy or treat and just sit with him and talk to him and hold him, he will begin to trust you. It might help because he'll see that you keep coming back and that you're good to him. I sure would at least give it a try. And, it would help you be able to see him which might make you feel a little better. I think he's just scared and he's acting out (out of fear) because he doesn't know who he can trust. I worry that he won't be able to be rehomed because of his behavior issues, and it's so not fair to him because it's not his fault that he was abused. Poor baby! The people who abused him should be shot!:mad:

Good luck to you!

Thanks for your idea, but I just don't think I can do that. Here's why. First, if I go down there, and he does begin to trust me, and I bring him home, only to start the cycle all over again, I cannot give him up again. It hurt too much this time. I can't go through it another time.

Second, I think he does trust me, to a certain extent, and at one point I did believe he was acting out of fear. We corrected a lot of that fear behavior. This, however, I don't think is fear. The obedience trainer and I have talked before I gave up Rascal, and she agrees. She basically told me that I was doing more harm by keeping him here, because although I had tried, I couldn't do anything else for him with this 'demon' behavior.

However, I do agree with you about this baby being abused. I know the people who did it to him, and I just want to hurt them. It makes me so angry that this dog could have been a wonderful dog, but instead, he is living a life of hell right now, all because of them.

Thanks for your advice, though. I am just so afraid that it wouldn't work if I brought him back. And, as I said, he could already be gone to Small Animal Rescue. I don't know. We were told, both by the shelter director, and our obedience trainer friend, to make a clean break from him. That we had done everything in our power to help him, but he chose to leave. I don't know if I can make the break yet, but I don't think it's a good idea to go and see him, for I WOULD bring him home.

~Melena

Thanks for everything you've said. I'm actually going to visit his site in a minute.

We did all those things....I tried so hard not to let him assert dominance, and for me to be the dominant one, but with the 'demon' behavior, it didn't work. I don't know what was triggering that, but most of the time, he wasn't even sleeping, or had just laid down. I wish, wish, wish, that I knew how to fix him, but I don't, and I had to let go. I just hope that he finds someone to help him, and love him. That's all I want for him, is to be happy, and he wasn't happy all the time here, or he wouldn't have been doing that.

Thanks again for everyone's advice, and kind words. I came in from the store a few minutes ago, and moved some things in a chair, and there was Rascal's leash. I thought my husband had taken it with him, but apparently not. It just broke me all over again. Today was a better day, though. More better days to come, I hope.

~Melena