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View Poll Results: how is my poem | |||
GREAT! awsome poem | 14 | 50.00% | |
pretty good...needs some work | 3 | 10.71% | |
GREAT! made me cry | 11 | 39.29% | |
awful...u need help | 0 | 0% | |
Voters: 28. You may not vote on this poll |
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07-21-2005, 08:24 AM | #1 |
BANNED! Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 798
| how is ..... i wanted to know how all of you felt about my free-verse poem that i wrote this morning. i was wondering how you felt about my free-verse poem (i wrote it today) DAY 1 i open my eyes for the first time my mother licks me tenderly, like i am worth a million bucks, but i feel like a dime. i am hungry, trying to take some milk from mommy, to no avail, she is to weak to feed me, to sickly and pale. DAY 2 everything is becoming clear, all my siblings hve opened their eyes, we huddle close for wamth from the blistering cold. our mother surrouds us with love and protecton she is the best mother in the world. the cold freezes us like water in a freezer our naturally warm bodies are already sick, at a few weeks of age, we want to die we feel a hundred years old. DAY 3 a creaking noise, a howling wind, dogs barking at us in warning we open our frigid eyes and peer at a human that is unlocking the cage, this is the first human we have ever seen. he has a sack with him, we pant and whine, thinking he has food. instead he shoves his hands greedily into the cage and grabs my brother. my mother growls with all her might but this human strikes her and she falls down, unconcious. one by one he shoves us in the sack. we are silent, with fear, with dread, of what might come next. suddenly we stop swaying in the sack we hear a creaking door open and we are thrown in a worse cage than before. smells are putrid, like manure and urine. this cage is crowded with other scared and sickly puppies whining for their mother. DAY 4 we get moved to a petstore. some of the pups are the lucky ones. they came from a good place that we only see in dreams. a little human girl comes to our cage and stares at me with apprehension as i lay there and watch her with only my eyes. she wants me, she asks her human mother is she can keep me. i pray that she will turn away, for all she sees in me is a cute little puppy, but beneath my big brown eyes lies torture and the great fear of leaving my brothers to go to a human home, worrying they will abuse me like the home that i once had known. DAY 5 i wake up, still in the store with fright i notice that the little girl is once again standing there her eyes wide with delight she says to me "i am taking you home puppy" i whimper as a hand of a human reaches down and picks me up he puts me in a box and shuts it. i bark but no one answers i whine and cry but my mother is no longer here for me i worry if i will ever eat i suffer the torture of a puppy who is only a few weeks old the box stops moving as i worry. the hand moves once more, a door banging open the same door creaking shut. the box opens and two hands descend into the box. i am placed onto the cold floor. my tail tucks in as i cower but as i look up i see that these eyes are gentle filled with love. DAY 6 i fell asleep with the little human. i am starting to trust once again but i am weak from having scarce food since birth. the little girl gently carresses me and carries me into a room i cower once more ' will i be put in a cage again' i ponder but no i yelp in appreciation as i see two bowls ahead of me. i gallop with all my stregnth and eat until, for the first time in my life i am content. DAY 50 (skipping) i wake in the morning feeling odd my legs are weak me head, dizzy i cant walk straight i collapse 'will i die' i wonder my humans take me to the doctor and he tells us that i am ill i have a tumor in my brain. each minute passes i feel weaker and weaker my humans cry and tell the doctor the know my time is over my humans kiss me and i weakly thump my tail a poke, a cold liquid soars through me i lick the little girl's palm gently my big brown eyes shut this is it, i knew it would come, my time is done. think twice before adopting a puppymill pup |
Welcome Guest! | |
08-12-2005, 04:06 PM | #2 |
Ramsey little Devil in disguise Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Here
Posts: 985
| your poem is really good, I wish I had a talent like that... |
08-12-2005, 04:32 PM | #3 |
Esme's My Princess Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Miami
Posts: 754
| WOW! I am so very impressed! That was a great poem! It actually did make me teary eyed!
__________________ Esme & Mari |
08-12-2005, 04:47 PM | #4 |
Owned by Charlie Bug Join Date: May 2005 Location: South Central, MN
Posts: 556
| Very Very Very Good! i wish i was that good
__________________ ¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º° Sarah & Charlie °`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸ |
08-16-2005, 08:31 AM | #5 |
BANNED! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: North East Ohio
Posts: 1,297
| Rex'z Momma, your poem is wonderful!!!!!!! I wish I could write like you! That was so sad, but so very true! |
08-16-2005, 07:25 PM | #6 |
YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Yukon, ok
Posts: 2,885
| nice poem! i liked it!
__________________ Kelly- momma to Parker, Star,Zoe, & Kegan.. RIP Silly Lily OK Yorkie Rescue - http://okyorkierescue.org |
08-17-2005, 07:17 AM | #7 |
Mommy's Little Angel Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Northern New Jersey
Posts: 1,496
| I really liked it.. I used to write but i am horrible at it now.. My thoughts came easier when I was a child
__________________ **Brooke & Lily Mae (Maltipoo)** Mocha (12/23/04-6/25/05) |
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