I need advice....
 

I generally don't ask for much advice here but this one I need help on. My husband and I have a Boxer Coco who is almost 13. She has outlived her life expectancy by years. She currently has Cushings which we have yet to start treating because she has a reoccuring UTI. She is blind, close to deaf (we assume because she doesn't respond much if at all to noises or our voice) and she has terrible arthritis. For the most part my husband carries her outside and when she does walk she falls a lot. She whines occasionally and pants as well.

So the advice I need is what should we do? Neither one of us have ever had to make a decision like this one way or the other. We love her sooooo much and as I type this I cry to even think about it. Part of me says she fine and we can handle carrying her (she is 75lbs) and the other part of me wonders does she really want to live like this? I just don't know.....any advice is appreciated. Thanks!

I am so sorry that you are facing these issues. We just recently went through the same thing with our son and his 15 year old cat. Max had cancer and we went through three treatments and he kept declining so fast. My son had such a hard time with deciding if Max was in pain or suffering. It came down to Max gasping for breath last Thursday and us rushing to the vet after hours. He couldn't stand seeing him suffer like he was. They were not able to administer the drug to euthanize him because of his veins all being shut down. They were able to sedate him so he could die at least not struggling for air. IDK what to tell you, but I wish that my son had decided a couple of weeks earlier, before Max was unable to walk, go to the litter box or even eat more than a nibble.
I think you will know when the time comes and my heart breaks for you.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

I am so sorry for what you & she are going through and so very sorry your baby is in such a terrible situation. My heart goes out to you as I can read your pain from watching her suffer through all of this.

It would be a fairly simple but far from easy decision for me as I think a dog who can no longer enjoy a normal dog's life should not have to suffer & endure a life full of complications, pain, nausea, weakness & endless uncomfortable car trips to vet visits, testing, poking, prodding & probing & neverending medications & struggles. As they can't talk & tell us how miserable they might be, it horrifies me to think of one enduring pain or discomfort, nausea, etc., with no way to truly express itself to me. I think in those types of circumstances, where so many things are afflicting one precious dog, humane euthanasia would be a welcome a kindness to my best friend. I'm just so sorry you are possibly facing this moment with your Coco.

Thank you both for your words of wisdom. I was just talking to my husband about Coco's quality of life which is pretty non-existent at this point. She has been to the Vet for the past couple of months almost every week. I feel horrible for her and it's so hard to figure out what we should do. I appreciate what you both said and agree totally. I will talk more with my husband and we will make a decision. We love her to much to allow her to live like this. Thanks again!

I'm so sorry you have to go through this, it's such a tough decision. One of the reasons I love my vet is I know he will be able to help me make this choice. In nature, a sick or old animal, just doesn't live long, but they don't have to suffer for years and years either. Have you talked about it with your son, does he understand? I think it might be helpful to have him being involved with the decision. One of the hardest parts for you will be seeing your son’s pain, so maybe if he can understand the decision; it will be less painful for all of you. Best of luck, sending prayers and hugs.

We're right there with you, my friend. May God give you comfort & peace through these next days. I will be praying your Coco finds her peaceful place.

You know, it is so easy to say the words..."dont let her suffer, send her to Rainbow Bridge where she is free from pain and the suffering she is enduring now that her "shell" has worn out..set her spirit free, to run and play...."But the truth is, the actual following through with the decision is so brutally difficult and heartbreaking for us to make....I carry 3 poems in my purse....I have pulled them all three out on each occasion when I was faced with this decision...reading each one, over and over, trying to see that what I preach to others also applies to me...my pain is no more than anyone elses.....so while I say the words, please know I have been where you are now, as have many of us, and it hurts soooooooo deep, so jagged a tear through our heart and soul....I want to write just the last paragraph of one of the poems I carry...it was written by "A Dogs Friend in Kansas City Mo" and was printed in the newspaper many years ago...."And my friend, when I am very old and I can no longer enjoy good health, hearing and sight, do not make heroic efforts to keep me going. Life is no longer a joy for me. Please see to it my life is taken gently. Cradle me as I leave on my journey. I shall leave this Earth knowing with the last breath I draw, that my fate was ALWAYS safest in your hands."

Beautiful post.

Thank you that made me cry but also was so profound. I sent it to my husband because he is her "Human." She loves him beyond words and the feeling is so mutual. I decided I will let him make the decision. Thank you again everyone YT is such an wonderful place. I know you all can relate to what we are going through.

We haven't mentioned anything to Isaiah yet. When we took her the last time they had to take her to get a urine sample and he told us he missed her already. I am really not sure how to approach it with him. He loves Georgie but Georgie doesn't really play with him which is for the best really. At this point and for the past 3 months or so Coco doesn't either her health has declined so rapidly:(

I don't know anyone who is a true dog lover who would say those words are ever easy to say when most of us who have been through it find it incredibly difficult to even read posts like OP's, let alone post on them or type any advice. It is so painful. It takes you back in time to that terrible place. Once one is through reliving one's own personal experience of hurt, loss, loneliness & pain and remembering those last looks & words said to those we've had to say that final goodbye to, you have to then try to help OP through the process of helping that poor dog they have posted about. It is one of the most painful things there is on YorkieTalk. Sometimes when there is just no other way, the actual decision is simple - you don't have to wrestle about what to do when you know you can't possibly put a dog through a great deal of suffering & misery when the outcome won't really change or the dog's life will be so hard to continue to live that way - but actually starting the process, getting those words out to the vet or suggesting that to someone else for their baby - those are some of the hardest words in the world to say. I find them every bit as hard to type as to say - and it does something to you having said them.

That's my issue the suffering and misery. She is almost 13 and has lived such a great life it's so hard to see her like this. She has days she struggles to walk then this morning she walks in the backyard albeit not like she used to but she is still walking and sniffing. I just don't know what to do....

Here's a review on one book: "I'll Always Love You."

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I think it would be a good idea to talk with Isaiah about this, I'm not sure the best way to do it, but I'm pretty sure you shouldn't use the term, "put to sleep" with this age.

Thank you Nancy as always you are such a big help:) I definitely agree we need to talk to him about it. My Mom passed away when I was a teenager and Isaiah asked me about 6 months ago what state does my Mom live in (he is totally into maps and learning about the United States) and I told him she was in Heaven with God. I wasn't expecting at 4 to have the conversation with him but it was short and sweet. I was planning on telling him when the time comes that my Mom needed a furry child with her in Heaven so that's where Coco went. I don't know if that will be the right thing to say but I think it will help Isaiah cope.

I think it's a beautiful way to put it.

I am so very sorry to hear about "where you are" with your precious Coco. It sounds like you have been incredible Boxer parents and she has had a long and happy life. This is my own personal experience with Boo the Boxer - we lost her last June 29th at the ripe old age of 15 years 2 months. She was a real trooper to the very end. For the last 5+ years of her life she suffered from a condition called Boxer cardiomyopathy and took two different medications to help regulate her heart. Each time I took her to the vet I would ask Dr. Amy "Is it time?" and each time Dr. Amy would respond "Listen to Boo and she will tell you." As usual, Dr. Amy was right. When the time came to say goodbye, we knew it - there was no doubt and no regrets, only the heart wrenching pain of saying goodbye.

When the time comes you might consider asking your vet to come to your home to ease her way to the Rainbow Bridge. That way her last few moments with you will be without stress. I know how important it was to our family to share those last few moments with Boo. Ron held her in his arms and I held her paw as she gently went to sleep.

Again, I cannot tell you how sorry I am for your present pain. Boxers have a very special place in my heart - please give your Coco a hug from me.

Thank you so much for sharing your story about Boo. 15 years is amazing for a Boxer. Coco was really doing great up until about 3 months ago. She was doing so good in fact that a different Vet in the same office couldn't believe she was almost 13. They have checked her heart, her organs and everything is fine. I just worry about her quality of life. I know that my husband and I would carry her wherever if we needed to but I don't know if that's what she wants. She went from being this fun and fiesty girl to barely being able to walk, blind and deaf in a matter of months. How did you know it was time? People say you can see it in their eyes....there is nothing in her eyes anymore she can't see. She still wags her tail occasionally but not as often. Gosh I just don't know:(

Thank you:)

I honestly believe that "quality of life" is relative. If you can manage what pain she may have it sounds like her quality of life is fantastic for a 13 year old Boxer. As we age what we consider quality changes. If I had felt like I do now at 50+ when I was 25 - then I'd say my quality of life at 25 sucks. But at 50+ considering that I had a major leg trauma which lasted over 4 years I'd say my life is mighty fine.

As for Boo, we knew it was time when she quit eating - we were able to manage her "old age" aches and pains and her heart, but we accepted her request to be let go when she quit eating. I was in the hospital recovering from major surgery the first day she quit eating and hubby waited until I came home (the next day) so I could say goodbye.

This is a question that only your family can answer with help from your vet. I wish I could be of more help.

Please post pics of your precious Coco.

I am very sorry your family has to make a decision such as this one. If your dog continues to decline in he health and is obviously suffering, I would have a family meetng with your husband and son present, discuss the issue openly and honestly and allow your son to express his feelings regarding the dog and in his own words. Allow how to talk about it, and then comfort him if he breaks down or becomes very emotional, explain the best way you can in regards of your dogs illness, and which way to proceed. Allow him to be part of the process, I think that when time comes it will be easier on your son if you include him, I do not know how old your son is, but do know children can have incredible insight from their own perspective. I have a adult autistic son with intellectual delays, he will soon turn 19, and is about on a 8 yr old level. We experienced a loss when a elderly woman died, that was my brother granmother, only 3 days later their beloved dog died. I assisted them in getting their dog and found her on craigslist for them to adopt around 5-6 yrs ago, the dog was already about 7 yrs old. My son on his own , told me that the dog is in heaven with Ivy, the name of grandma, and that is why she died too, so she could be with Ivy. It was very touching. Ivy husband was having a very tough time losin his wife then dog, so a couple weeks later adopted a dog from the animal shelter. They came to me asking for assistance , and I suggested go to the animal shelter in town. He came home with a small brown dog, that he absolutely loves.
If your ailing dog is not in pain , but her quality of life has diminished so much she is unable to function anymore, such as use the bathroom on her own, and clearly suffering, then I would consider letting her go and rest in peace. That is only my opinion.

I agree and part of me feels like we are giving up on her which is why we haven't decided on anything. I am not sure if that's the right way to feel at this point I have no idea really. She eats a lot which is partly because of her Cushings. She has only a few accidents in the house since this started and I believe that's from us just not getting her outside quick enough. Again internally she is fine. She had a lump on her hip which was a hematoma and went away after a couple of weeks.

I am glad that you got to spend 15 years great years with Boo. I tell my husband all the time that we need to focus on what a great life she has had and how much she has enriched ours. She has truly been the best furgirl we could have asked for.

I posted a few pics of Coco aka Sissy Girl:)

#1 she was 3
#2 she was 7 and being viciously attacked by her Yorkie brother;)
#3 she was 10 and wearing her cool shades:)
#4 she was 11

Aw sweetie I am sorry you are going through this right now. I know it is so hard to deal with. I would def talk to your Vet and see what he thinks is the right choice for her, then take what he gives you and listen to your heart- That is all you can do. Bless little Coco, poor sweet baby, I will be sending prayers and good thoughts to you and your Family. Hang in there- ((hugs))

Thank you:) I appreciate the support. I will keep everyone posted.

I am sorry. I know it is hard. Just reading the post , from you and from others I want to cry. I love my guys and I know one day I will have the same decision..

I did have a little girl die on me, the vet said I should put her down as there wasn't any chance of recovery. I took her home with the hope but the night before I was to take her back she pasted in my arms. Her final gift to me was that I did not have to make the decision. I cried. I do know in my heart I would have made the right decision.. for her .. and I know you will when the time comes. I send you hugs and pray for peace.

I'm heartbroken reading this. I've never gone through this although I know I will one day. I cant offer any advice only support. You will make whatever decision your heart tells you in what is best for Coco. She had a good life with a family that loves her always. Take comfort in that. I will pray for peace for you and your family. (HUGGZZ).
Jacqui

Thank you both! We have decided we are going to wait and see with Coco. She has been getting around a little better (we give her Rimadyl to help) and when we came in yesterday she was wagging her tail a lot!:D That was a such a great sight to see and my husband and I agreed she is still aware and has life in her. I will keep everyone posted on our sweet sissy girl. Thank you again!

Great news! Controling the pain can bring back the "joie de vivre"!

wonderful news!! I'm soo happy to read this, I will continue to pray for your family and Coco....please keep us posted. God Bless all of you.
Jacqui(huggzz)

What a beautiful post. My heart is with you since I had to make a decision myself so much like your baby. My Vet told me I would know when it was time. He said he couldn't tell me how I would know but I would. That day came and I never had regrets for it being the time. Although I had pain and tears but felt I did the right thing for my furbaby. Good luck with your decision. Prayers and hugs for you and your hubby for the decision you make.

I am so happy to hear Coco is back to wagging again.