A blind man was out walking with his seeing-eye dog when suddenly the animal paused and wet the man's leg.

Bending down, the blind man stretched out his hand and patted the dog's head.

Having watched what happened, a bystander said, "Why are you patting him? That dog just peed on your leg!"

"I know," said the blind man, "but I gotta find his head before I can kick his butt."

When you are trying to make a good impression it is said that you should put your ‘best foot forward’. There are many options as to where this phrase came from, one being that it was believed that ‘the left’ was the realm of the devil, of evil and misfortune. After all the Latin word sinister means left, and in English sinister has kept its ominous meaning. Hence, it was advisable to keep the left foot behind and step forward with the best, the right, foot first.

But this phrase seems to have come from the fashion world, rather than the occult. The saying can be traced to male vanity, particularly apparent in the late eighteenth century, the period of the dandy. His desire to attract people’s attention and admiration took strange and elaborate forms. At the time, people imagined that their two legs differed in shape and that ‘normally’ one was more becoming than the other. To draw attention to it they kept the worse one in the background, literally putting ‘their best foot forward’, and with it, of course, their leg.

Interesting....Oh Dear......If I did that I would be arrested...lol :D:D:D:D:D

the grass is always greener on the other side:

Other circumstances seem more desirable than one's own but in reality are often not

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

"Breast-fed" she replied.

"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, then pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a detailed examination.



Motioning to her to get dressed, he said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk."



"I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came."

A young monk arrived at the monastery.

He was assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.



He noticed, however, that all of the monks were copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk went to the abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, the error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

Slightly alarmed the abbot, said, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

The old abbot decided to go down into the dark caves beneath the monastery where the original manuscripts were held.



The archives were in a locked vault that had not been opened for centuries.

Days passed by and nobody saw the old abbot. The young monk became concerned and went down to look for him.

He found him with his head in his hands wailing uncontrollably and repeatedly saying,



"What a wast...What a waste...We missed the "R", We missed the "R"!!!!

The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"

With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, "What a waste..The word was...

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CELEBRATE!!!

Where has everyone gone.....twelve hours and nobody wants to win so strange !!!!

Attachment 349532


It's a much KINDER GENTLER place this week :D:D :wavey:

Isn't it grand? ;)

WOW...this is worrying me now....nearly 24 hours since the last post by one of you American guys this is not right at all.

but at least I get to win for nearly a full day so I can complain really.

Attachment 349537 the heat has fried my brain...that is my excuse and I am sticking to it:D

I'm fairly sure Brian went blind ~ his Mum was right ;)

WOW.....what a great excuse....and I have learned something new already.................


YOU HAVE A BRAIN......:D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Oh so unfair that comment...sniffle blubber.....Me Muver dropped me on my head when I was born so it's not my fault and...

let me tell you...those posts where defo not there when I posted my comment so there:aimeeyork:),,,,ner ner na ner enrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :);) :D

Brian, first check the times on the posts. Then check to see mine was ABOVE yours. Then check your glasses :nerd: :D:D