Venting....
 

I've been stressing so much. I just turned 21 in April. I've noticed that most people my age are already married. Some even have kids. Now I don't think theres anything wrong with getting married right out of high school, but its not for me. I've also noticed that alot of women start having kids around 24-28. Honestly, for me thats too early. Ughhh... so my problem is that I want to actually graduate from college and enjoy my career before I actually start having kids, but I'm not sure if its good or healthy to have children after 30. Plus, to make it even worse... My fiance/boyfriend wants me to have children around 26. Every time this subject comes up, it seems like hes just pressuring me. Gahhh... two years ago, I said "I'm NEVER having children" Lol.. Life is so confusing.:p

enjoy your time now. after you have kids, you will see that most of your time and money are devoted to them.

I see nothing wrong with waiting till your 30 plus.

Tell your b/f to enjoy the time you 2 have alone now cause as soon as kids come into the picture, your quite time is over! lol

I think 30 is still very young!! You have plenty of time enjoy your youth, I'm 25 and feel like a dinosaur:rolleyes:

Don't worry about what everyone else is doing. I was 31 when I got married and waiting until then was the best decision I every made. I really enjoyed my twenties and did not regret anything I did or did not do. Party up and worry about marriage and kids later. I still do not have any kids of my own yet, and that if just fine with me. You are just starting your life on your on, so don't rush things, just enjoy life as it is.

Have fun while you can!!
 

I turn 22 in about a week and my roomates (AKA my 2 friends that are engaged and 8 months pregnant) are preparing for a baby, but yet still renting a room from me! And they're 24 and 28!! I'm so happy for them, but not jealous AT ALL!! I get to spend my money on things like Vegas (this weekend! YAY!) but they are buying soothing nipple gel packs for breast feeding...lol. We went to Target last night, and I bought stuff for me, while they were buying diaper wipes. Enjoy it now, and like someone said before, PARTY IT UP!! Plus, I swear I just turned 21 yesterday, it goes by way too fast!!

Dont stress, you are perfectly normal. I am 26 not married (bf for 5 years), no kiddos and just started my carreer. It is wonderful. I'm totally with you I don't think I will have kids until my mid to late 30's. I just want to travel and enjoy life, I worked hard to get where I am and I plan to reward myself a little before I have to share a checking account with someone and buy diapers!
I have a lot of friends that are young moms and they love it, and I get a little jellous because I'm afraid if I wait too long I wont get to be a MILF:D but seriously, there is never a right time to do anything so do what you want!
Come on down to Corpus Christi, I'll buy you a drink.:D

I think if you want to wait until 30 to have kids then you should! Do not let anyone tell you when you should be ready, only you know that :)
Now for my opinion LOL I feel that 30 is too old....but thats just me. I took the route where my kids will be 23, 16 and 15 by the time I'm 40. I didn't want to have a 10 year old at 40. my aunt is 45 with a 5 yr old and she loves it..you have to do what works for you:) as far as the risks that are involved its mainly after the age of 40. I mean there are risk even at 20

Take your time, everyone is different.

I married right out of high school, had my children a few years later, and still pursued college and a career. The only thing I probably would change is waiting a little longer before I started having the kids. I was almost 19 when married, almost 21 when first child born, 24 when second son born. I can definitely say I was more prepared and more mature when my second son was born.

On the otherhand, I had to have a complete hysterectomy at the age of 30 due to endometriosis and other health problems. So if I had waited til later in life for children, I may not have been able to have them.

You never know........ What is meant to be, will be.

Thirty is defiantly not to late.....If it where me I'd wait....Once it's been done there's no going back, life as you know it will cease to exist :eek: ...

No more sleeping in with your man on a Sauturday morning....no more nice hair, make up or nails, you'll look like one of those women you see in the cereal aisle with their hair up in a pony tail,sweats on and a screaming toddler hanging on your leg wanting a box of CoCo Krispies...no more peeing in private...no more taking a bubble bath alone....no more clean clothes, yours will have a sucker stuck on your butt and a liquefied cookie smeared on your shirt...no more reading the paper or a book...no more friends, they'll disappear...no more having a drink to yourself, yours will have slobber swirling in it...No more just grabbing your keys and heading out the door on the spur of the moment... no more nice dinners out, yours will consist of ordered pizza....no more cute, sexy teddys, yours will be flannel.....no more life as you know it...

If the above sounds like heaven then go for it, if not I'd wait :rolleyes:

Stop stressing about what you "think" you are supposed to do and do what feels right for you.

No one else has to live your life but you.

No one.

This post made me laugh out loud! while maybe one or two things you say is true, most of it I disagree with. as a parent of 3 children ages 5,6 and 12 the only thing that applies to me would be going out on the spur of the moment, that has ended LOL but everything else is totally off...well in my case anyway.

That was a satire not meant to be taken literally ;) ... Actually all the scenarios mentioned have happened to people I know :eek:

"Took the route"?? Does that mean you chose to have a kid at 17? Are you advocating having kids at 17? It doesn't seem like you planned it, since you didn't have another kid until you were 24...

Just curious, not trying to pick a fight. Mothers are the LAST people I want to piss off :D

And I totally agree, if you want to wait til you're 30, 35, whatever! No one can MAKE you gestate another human!

children are a blessing not the plague LOL

actually no I didnt intentionally have a child at the age of 17, not sure why that would even be assumed because it doesnt make to much sense to me. and yea Im screaming at the top of my lungs if your 17 have a baby!!!!! You say that you arent trying to pick a fight but I feel that the comments you made were meant to do exactly that...who knows maybe its just me but thats how I took it. In any case to answer your question no, I dont think at 17 girls should be having children (even though Im sure you knew the answer to that question way before you wrote it out) ;)

In YOUR humble opinion...

I can't help but think of aliens or constantine when one of my friends is pregnant. Yuck!!

:thumbup: :thumbup:

BUT, only you can "know" when the time is right... I had mine, kind of in the middle, got married at 19, first child at 22, second at 27.
I had time to have a good time for a while, and will still be young enough when they are grown to "live it up". Nothing will ever compare to the wonderful feeling of being a mom... My youngest is 16 now and we are friends and that makes life very much easier...
Good Luck, and do what works for you!
d

lmao!

No really, there are some people that think it is the right time for girls to have children. Some people say it is better to do before college. Being a college grad, I can't imagine going through all those years of class paying for my education and daycare! I'm not trying to pick a fight, promise, we just have very different opinions. I don't know if I will ever be responsible enough to have a child. It is hard enough for me to be responsible for two dogs! And I'm SO lucky I didn't get pregnant as a teenager, because God knows I was trying (not really, but I was playing with fire :D ) And I also believe that when you are meant to have a child, you get pregnant. My brother and his wife tried so hard for a few years before my neice was conceived, and it just wasn't time for her to be born yet. People's lives are not by chance, we are all planned by a Higher Power. Including your 3 kids! Whenever it happens IS the right time for you and your child!

Enjoy yourself... Life is too short and definately do whats best for you! Believe me I know... I just turned 27, married for 9 yrs in Nov, and have a 5 yr old daughter. I still aspire to be a fashion designer... though with a family, its taking a little longer than expected... But overall I wouldnt change anything about my life - its all what you make it :D

I know where your coming from :-) I just graduated with my 2 year degree and it was not an easy task...and im no where near being done! I too feel like I wouldnt change a thing given the option. But I do take the opportunity to explain to my oldest how much easier it would have been had I went straight to college after High school (it still could have been accomplished even having a baby at 17)

Don't stress!!!! Your young and have everything going for you. Not everyone your age is jumping into marriage. Our Son is 22, in college, he's a Med Student. He's had the same girlfriend for the past 3 years. Yep, they talk about getting married and having children, but not until after Graduation.
He wants to have a married life before he has children.
That's what my husband and I did. We have been together going on 27 years, we have 5 wonderful children 23, 22, 21, 17 & 16. And the best part is, we are still best friends after all these years. Don't do what others tell you, or you see them doing, instead do what your heart tells you, and you will be just fine.
:2hearts2: :2hearts2: :2hearts2: :2hearts2: :2hearts2:



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Wow... I really appreciate the different opinions. Thats what makes our country so great. To ease your mind, being a parent/wife doesnt mean that you become a Nun?!? Im only 27 and my husband is 30 and honey let me tell you, we still go to the clubs to have a drink/dance, we travel, movies etc.... and please believe that the sex life is very active! I aspire to be a designer... I scetch, read, sew - you name it... All with a baby Yorkie and 5 yr old who is at the top of her class. I believe that the sky is the limit and NOTHING can hold you back from your true aspirations ;)

If you read post #12 I already stated it was for light satire...sheesh....calm down....

Everyone has to do what they feel is right and you definitely should not feel pressured into marrying or having kids. I got married the month after I graduated from college (age 22). I had my first child at 25 and my second at 28. We loved our 3 years together alone, but NOTHING compares to our time with our children. We still go out on dates and are best friends! :p That is the timetable that worked for us. On the other hand, my brother and his wife decided to wait until they were in their 30s and ended up going through fertility treatment (didn't work) and don't have kids. My sister-in-law found out in her early 30s that she had endometriosis and wouldn't be able to have children. They adopted and are very happy.

You need to live your own life and be happy with the decisions and choices you make. You certainly don't need to have your life planned out at 21!! ;)

Oh my, im going to be 31 next month, Ive done a lot in my lifetime, and I have NO desire for children right now and Im not married! I think 21 is WAY too young to get married, but I do wonder if that is a common attitude in my part of the country than in other parts of the country! I don't know, most of my friends are not married and we are all in our late 20s, early 30s... some have just started getting married in the last 2 years! There is no hurry really! enjoy life!! :)

Personally, I think 21 is still so young! You have such much yet to learn and I'm happy to hear that you are not yet ready to have kids. So many young people jump into marriage and having kids and then look at the divorce rates. I also know how young people hate to hear that but most times it is true. My sister had 2 kids, one at 19, one at 21 and then divorced their dad when she was about 29. She then remarried and had another baby. She tries to tell her older kids that she just feels like a much better mom now than she was then. She was just too young. This is something that she never would have admitted even 10 years ago and certainly not when she was 19!. And having kids is such a huge commitment that you really have to want it with all your heart. If your boyfriend is pressuring you, he's not doing either of you any favors. Please don't compare yourself to those people who are 21 and married and starting families, you really don't know how many of them are going to wind up divorced and dealing with all the problems that brings.

I am 28, yes I am married but nope I am not thinking about kids. Appreciate what you have right now and you won't feel the need to chase whatever is not there in your life at the moment. 21 is so so young.

I dont know maybe its just me but a few posters have been nothing but negitive when talking about marriage and children. I mean do I honestly think 21 is is young..yes I do. Do I think she should rush into kids and marriage...no I dont. I think that she should wait because she obviously isnt ready but a few people have been making it seem like being in your 20's and having kids& being married is the end of the world. I dont get it...yes marriages fail but it depends on the people involved. two 40 yr olds can get married and be divorced in no time just like people in their 20's. I know people that have children at 16,17,18 etc that take better care of their kids than a 35 year old. see I think its unfair to stereotype people

I am going to be 21 this December and I am married and do have a baby. I got married in August 2005 and we had our first child January 2007. I wouldn't change it for the world. Some days I wake up and just wanna scream. I don't wear make up as much as I use to, don't wear the nicest clothes, the house isn't spotless like it use to be, but it's how I've always planned life. I don't think our age is too young to be married if the right two people are. I've always been pretty mature for my age and so has my husband, but my brother, who is 18, won't get married for a loooooooong time. I think every person is different. I think I'm a pretty good mom to my son and I'm 20 and daily you read about 30 and 40 year olds abusing their children. Age isn't always the problem with todays divorce rates. I think many peoples morals have just went down the tube. You don't hear of families spending quality time like they use to. I think that is the problem, it causes a lack of communication.
You should never feel like you have to do anything because everyone else is. In my case I did the opposite. I got married young and none of my friends did. Some thought I was crazy and others knew it was just perfect for me. If you really aren't ready then I wouldn't. No need rushing into something you aren't going to like. Don't live your life regretting all the things you could of done. I didn't go to a 4 year college but my hubby did. He will graduate in May with a degree in Civil Engineering from the nations top engineering school. It was really tough for us. We might not always have the best of the best for our son but we always have plenty of something he needs most, and that's love. You will know when the timing is right for you. We did. I wish you the best in your decision. :)