I'm not jealous
 

DH's best friend is coming to spend the day with us Saturday. He is bringing his new girlfriend. His new girlfriend, C, happens to be my DH's EX girlfriend. The one he'd just gotten out of a relationship with when I met him.

If E (DH's friend) is happy, then we are happy for him, but I don't like the girl. DH keeps teasing me saying I'm jealous (until I finally told him to get over himself), but I'm NOT. (OK, well, maybe I'm a little jealous that she's skinnier than me, but I'm jealous of ALL women who are thinner than me, not just the ones who dated my DH before I met him. lol)

The reason I dislike her is because she is one of those women who thinks its cute to play dumb. That irritates me like you would not believe.

I don't have a problem with her coming here, I am just worried because I know me, I know my mouth, and I know what can come out of my mouth when I've finally had enough. I'm worried that it won't be long before I say, "You know, you really need to lose the stupid act. It isn't cute." Only I'll probably say it with a little more "color".

Then DH decided that the whole he had dug himself by calling me jealous wasn't quite deep enough so he decided to make it a little deeper by telling me that she and I were actually a lot alike. (although he did quickly clarify that on the acting stupid thing we are polar opposites). So I said, "You sit around and compare me to your exes often?"

So I am just generally ticked off. I am ticked off that I have to deal with her, I am ticked off that DH was an idiot and compared me to her. I'm ticked off that I have to smile and be nice to someone who is the reason blonde jokes were invented.

Oh, THEN DH tried to fix it by telling me I am the coolest wife ever for letting E bring her and for being nice to her even though I can't stand her. I don't WANT to be the "cool wife". I just want to literally knock some sense into the girl and explain to her that I know she is not that stupid and that she is an adult now and pretending to be just isn't cute.

So now I get to spend the week obsessively cleaning because god forbid some woman I don't like walk into my house and see one thing out of place or with a speck of dust on it. I don't know why that matters but it just DOES.

:mad:

Oh, and she isn't a "dog person". Greeeaaat. I told DH that he'd better talk to E and explain how I am with Susanah. That's just what I need is her making some smart comment about the way I treat her or how spoiled she is.

OH BOY! If I were you, I'd hired someone to come clean my house then spent the day at the spa mentally preparing myself for her arrival! LOL

You are a good person for allowing her to come...but I'm with you. If she's THAT dumb, I'd have a very hard time not popping off at the mouth.

Therefore, say this little prayer to yourself..."Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth!"

Good luck!

That's just it, she ISN'T that dumb! She just pretends to be because she thinks men like their women stupid.

It wouldn't do me any good to hire someone. I'm one of those people who hires a maid, then goes nuts cleaning the house before she gets here so she won't see it a mess. :rolleyes:

I'm just mad that everyone thinks I'm jealous just because I don't like her, when that has absolutely nothing to do with it.

I know that sometimes in life we have to deal with people we don't like, I just usually don't have to do it my own home and try and be nice to them because a close friend of ours is head over tails for them and I don't want to hurt HIS feelings.

I really really hope God keeps his hand over my mouth. Sometimes what comes out of it shocks even me!

I think it's really rude for E to invite her to your house in the first place, and DH should have told him no. You don't have to put up with rude people in your house. Try to keep telling yourself he did pick you over her, so there must be qualities in her that he doesn't like either. I'm sorry for you because you're in an uncomfortble situation, and I'll send some prayers your way. Keep us updated on how everything goes.

Be cool as a cucumber and just be polite to her. We have a situation in our family where one of My Husbands brothers is with this girl that his married brother was with for one night a long long time ago. His brothers wife is jealous of her and she is very rude to her and it just looks ugly of her. Hold yourself above that. You will come across as the better person because of it

It really does not bother me that she is DH's ex. I think it bothers HER that he moved on, got married, had kids, and is happy. She thinks the sun should always and forever rise and set on her. She thinks after they broke up he should have spent the rest of his life mourning her. :rolleyes:

My only problem with her (other than her being thinner than me) is the stupid act.

I think I've decided that I am going to kill her with kindness.

However, if she insults Susanah, um....could ya'll maybe do a gift collection and bail me out of jail? lol :p

I must say that YT has shown me many things since I have become a member, I have learned so many things about yorkie and now about myself...I am stubborn! LOL there would be NO WAY my hubbys ex-girlfriend would be stepping foot in my house. you know why...becuz I AM a jealous person maybe not toward her looks etc but I couldnt sit there knowing that she was with my husband:thumbdown then I be would looking at him and thinking...is he thinking about the times they had together blah blah blah I know I know I sound petty...but maybe one day I will be able to see things different after reading and taking everyones good advice lol:rolleyes:

Well, the way I look at THAT part of it is that DH had a life before he met me - just like I had a life before I met him. My two oldest kids are from a previous relationship so he has to deal with their dad (my ex) on a regular basis. So the ex part really doesn't bother me.

What bothers me is her behavior and the fact that DH thinks I'm jealous. I'm NOT. I just don't like seeing a woman degrade herself by acting like a mindless little twit because she thinks men think its cute. Men do NOT think its cute. Men think its EASY.

Even though you're not jealous, you don't want to make HER or your husband think that you are jealous by acting a certain way(even though it's really about her stupidity)...Do NOT let on that her being there bothers you. Be friendly, but not too friendly, and act as cool as can be. Trust me! I know how hard it will be not to just tell her what you're feeling, but you will be better off, because if you do, you will look like the bad and jealous one, not her...Good luck!!!

well its a good thing you arent the least bothered by it thats great...me? thats another story lol
as far as what is bothering you...i wouldnt worry too much about it, shes the one who is going to look foolish not you. let her be, its her choice and she obviously finds it cute.To each its own, she isnt a reflection of you so why concern yourself with that? Im sure the visit will be fine:)

Aw, she better not insult Susanah...you should post this somewhere:

Rules for Non Pet Owners Visiting My House

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Im going to print that out!!! :D

That's great!!

All the other crap aside, I think the most frustrating part would be the thought in my mind that my hubby would really think I had a shred of jealousy for her (aside from her being skinnier) when I didn't.

It always seems that the more a woman protests, and the more the hubby says, "Whoa, okay I get it, I believe you", the more he really thinks you might be jealous. It's a vicious cycle, and I'm glad that we don't really have jealousy at our house (of course we don't have ex's coming to the house either!).

Good Luck. It'll be over before you know it hopefully.

Good luck!
 

Wow! I suppose I am just not that good of a woman. I know you aren't jealous, but if nothing else, it just seems a bit awkward. Are the 4 of you supposed to start double dating now? :( Would hubby want to start hosting dinner parties for your ex? I'm reading this over knowing that I am petty and should be above it all, but..........

It sounds to me like it will be a great opportunity to build that man of yours up! When I find myself in your situation, I can't say enough about what a great guy my husband is and how blessed I am to have been the one he chose to marry. When the ex says something about how great he was while they dated, I just agree and let her know how true it is. (After all... He is a great guy!) When she says something negative, I just let her know that (1)... he's never done that around you, or (2)... how endearing you find his 'so called' bad habit, yourself.

Girl! Just hold your head up and just love your hubby in front of her. She'll hate it, he'll love it and you'll come out ahead!

I think I AM going to print those out and place them someplace she can't miss them. I don't think she would be dumb enough to be mean to Susanah, but I am worried she may make some rude comment about the way DH and I treat her.

It's only one day. I'll just take a xanax and smile my way through it. If I can just mostly keep my mouth closed I think everything will be OK.

Maybe those "things" in your house will just scare her away. OR maybe your cabinet doors will fly open in her face...lol. JK

I thought the same thing! LOL :p It's a mean thought, but omg it would be so funny!

Yeah, it is. But if that happened, or anything strange, you wouldn't have to worry about her coming back. So is she coming tomorrow?

They are coming on Saturday. Can you feel my excitement? :rolleyes:

On a positive note my Senseo should be here today or tomorrow so I can confuse her with my brand new coffee maker. :D I am so excited about getting that thing. I've wanted one forever.

Awe, maybe.lol. I am not a coffee drinker.

First, I would set my husband straight. The last thing you need is to be on edge because of him. I would sit him down & explain that it makes you upset that he thinks you are jealous. That you are not jealous there are just people on this planet that happen to rub you the wrong way & she happens to be one of them. He should respect this & stop teasing you which should make you feel better. You & your husband need to be a united front or you'll feel like everyone is ganging up on you.

Second, grin & bear it. Make sure husband knows that you don't want this to be a regular occurence. My husband's best friend is married to a woman I cannot stand. She uses every oportunity to put me down to make herself feel better...my only saving grace is that they live 4.5 hours away. When I do have to do dinner with her I just try to ignore her. I know her comments to me are about her insecurities not mine. Kill her with kindness & if she makes an offensive comment just ignore her. My guess is she's looking for a reaction & wants to make you look bad.

Good luck....take deep breaths & remember you're the better person.

I totally understand what you're going through about the jealous thing. There is a girl I don't like who dates my bf's friend... she flirts with my bf and ignores me and treats me like s**t when he isn't around... I told my bf that I don't like her and he asked me if I was jealous! I don't think guys understand that we are intuitive about women who pretend to be something they're not.I think you should hire someone too and just spend the day getting pampered ( get a new outfit too with his credit card) lol that's what I would do :D

You know what I would do??? I would have a "little chat" with the guests that you have in your house already....you know...the ones you can't see?...Scare the SH%^ out of her! LOL

Is that wrong?:eek:

LOL I thought about the same thing, I just worry that it'll scare the SH%^ out of myself as well! :p

Good luck! Females who play dumb, i.e. Jessica Simpson, erk me.

Man ,I have to give you credit for having to put up with this lady in the first place.!! Their is no way in hell I would want to entertain my husbands old ex girlfriend!:eek: I am a nice girl but gosh I would have to draw the line some were!

I really do not have any advice to give because this has never happened to me. Just kill her with kindness I guess. Or just talk to her when absolutely necessary. You don't have to be buddy buddy with her do you. How long do you have to endure this? What activities do you have planed for their visit? Maybe you could catch a movie that way you are mot having to talk.

I hope that she herself is at home fretting over how she should behave for you;) Good luck and I will keep you in my thought and praying that Saturday goes by real fast for you!!

You will have to let us know how this all turns out!

I'm sorry you're going through this. This is the immature side of me, but if she does happen to make any remark about Susannah, use that as the bomb! Then just take all your fustration out on her! If you do that, maybe you don't have to worry about spending any more days with her? :p

Or just be the bigger person, act fake and suck it up. Put on an act like your an actor, make a thing out of it!

I know I myself would be immature about it, I wasn't like that though until Leo's ex tried to befriend me just to get back with him (she actually told me that she still loves him!)

I think guys don't understand sometimes that we KNOW what women do, how they act when they want something, etc. We ARE women...we can read women better than them! W/ Leo's ex (as I mentioned in the previous post) I called out all her actions before she did them, and sure enough they were right! She lived out of state, we got together and she came to visit someone here...and found out he was with me. I told him "Watch, next she's going to move back here.." SHE DID!!! So the guys might be dumb about it, that's why the need us! :p