He seems to me like a VERY toxic person. I had one just like him in my life and cutting off ALL contact is the best thing you can do! I'm proud of you for calling a therapist!

I ignored it, that was really all I could do...This is something he has done in the past, he creates new women in his life, at one time when we broke up he claimed to be engaged for example, and generally these things check out to be lies used to lure me back in. It is only when we are not broken up he likes to get with other women, and then it has just been awkward one night stands...Or he does this thing where he will lead women on, people like our law school classmates, etc then tell me they are hitting on him and tell them 'Oh I am sorry you got the wrong idea, Allison and I are together you know.'

The problem is he does not have any concept of what he wants, from me, from himself, or for anyone else. Well that is not THE problem, but one of many!

Again, thank you all for your support the last day has been super rough and I have been really fighting the urge to talk to him about this. Talking to you folks is a healthier substitute!

the bottom line is I love him so much and I will never be good enough for him.
Hon, youve got that backwards...hes not good enough for you. From what you have said he only wants you when you are with someone else or he thinks you are moving on. He is using you for convience...drop him for good. Forget about him, no matter how hard it may seem now, you will be better off in the long run!! You will not be alone forever. Sounds like you may have found some decent ones but dropped them to go back to him. Give yourself time to heal and a decent man who will cherish you and love you for who you are and not for what you can do for him will come along.

Stay Strong!!! Good for you!!!

Bruce's mom, PLEASE don't pick up that phone, keep busy, go for a brisk walk, go out w/ friends, watch a good movie, join a gym, anything to distract yourself....you might want to tell your mother if he does get in contact with her to get to you that you don't want to know about it.....he's a master manipulator and knows your weak spot, guilt, please don't fall for it again, you already know what the outcome will be.....STAY STRONG hun....

You mentioned that you left him before for four months I believe, how did you feel when that happened?...

All i can say : What a Jerk ! Let this Special Person put up with his Crap !

No problem! If you want to talk privately, you can always PM me. ;)

Funny, Ive been a single girl now for 2 years and 2 days! hehe we broke up aug 26, 05! We were supposed to get married June 24, 06. Im WAAAAAAYYYY better off! Funny thing is, he NEVER goes AWAY!!!! HE broke it off after 9+ years and I keep away from him yet he always finds a way or a reason to keep coming back to me! Last year for xmas I got a coach pocketbook, wallet & keychain ($330) from him! Hes a NUT!!! I want nothing to do with him at all, its all a head game on his part to see if he can keep me around in case he needs me. HAHA Im sooooo all done! After 2 years of being broken up, I thought I knew what angry was, I thought I went through 'anger' LLOONNGG ago, where I wanted to slap him silly and yell my head off! Oh no... anger, the real true anger is when you can finally just walk away and realize how good it is to be free of that WEIGHT! :)

Whoa!!!
 

Oh god girl! (Bruces mom that is) I just read through the email he sent you. Look up NARCISISTIC in the dictionary! Girl, this boy needs his head checked! From that email alone, he is VERY VERY insecure, immature, needy, selfish, self-centered, self-absorbed (see the trend???) He only cares about himself and HIS feelings! He is having what we call a big boy temper tantrum. All because his actions can no longer be 'gotten away with' when it comes to you anymore! I fear that guys like him will NEVER grow up, never learn how to respect, sympathize and treat a woman. They lack compassion towards others also.

Girl HERE IS to the single life, cuz TRUST me, its WAYYYY better than that crap EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! :) Ive sooooooo been there, soooooo done that!

OMG, his email makes me soooooo mad!!!! He KNOWS that the 'other woman' line has worked in the past and hes using it again! He has NO right to contact you! I hope you can get him blocked from your work and home email.

I KNOW how you feel. PM me if you want to talk! Ive been there, I understand how it feels. Im also an admin on a breakup website! (i will tell you it if you PM me, you are welcome to go and post there as well, the community of girls there are AMAZING!!! They are strong, vibrant, healthy, beautiful girls who have had their share of SH!T handed to them too!!)

(((HUGS))) to you! This WILL get better girl! Honest to god! I thought I didnt know how to LIVE without my ex, after 10 years with him (I was 19) but I DO know how to and I do it better without him than with him!!! :) :)

That is weird! And we broke up in June 05! LOL

i am so sorry to hear about the past four years you have spent with this guy. I had a boyfriend like that sort of in high school, those relationships are unhealthy and the best thing to do is to stay out. But theres a twist to these relationships too, the men seem to be so manipulative, they know what to say (obviously because he's been breaking your heart for four years so he knows how to get you back) which is completly unacceptable on their part. It is not your fault you are not a complete idiot, he's the idiot, he knew what to say to get you back and its as simple as that. I do hope that your relationships from now on get better and I hope (this may sound funny) that you are blessed soon with the greatest guy on earth to make up for all the terrible things he has done to you. Good luck hun. But really remember you are not an idiot, dont in any way think that this relationship and you going back was your fault.

uggh it continues, why does he write me to let me know he is not going to contact me in the future, but of course will always love me and hopes I will "check in with him or say hi" in the future...Can't he just not contact me and see if I will do that?

I am trying really hard, but it is like he knows I feel so torn and he is trying to exacerbate it.

I do appreciate you all listening to me babble on and on about this. I do not think that there is anyone else that can handle it.

If he continues to email you maybe you could set up your email so that anything coming from his address would be sent to separate folder so you don't have to look at it unless you just choose to.

"I guess I am going to have to move on with my life now, the good news is I have met someone very special. In a way she reminds me of you, only better in every conceivable way."

Wow, that sentence alone would be enough for me to never contact him again!! He sounds like a total loser who isn't good enough to lick the bottom of your shoes. You do not need someone like him in your life.

Just stay strong and remember that YOU DESERVE BETTER. You're worth it.

Ohhhh, Bruce's Mom....can you see how we are all trying to help you? There has been a lot of great suggestions on how for you to get through this but we are all saying, STAY AWAY FROM HIM, DO NOT TALK OR EMAIL him. (block all his calls and emails)

Perhaps you should go speak with someone, or there is some great books out there on breaking up, some great websites out there too (you should contact celstu1 about her website). I am all about getting through difficult times on your own but some people need a little help. (including me) It sounds like you are very depressed. Perhaps your doctor could give you something for depresssion. The majority of us have been depressed at some point in our lives and there are times that medication is necessary to get us through difficult times. But medication is not the answer for everyone. I know when my Dad died I could not of gotten through it without anti-depression meds. Six months after he passed away, I was still depressed & crying everyday and it was interferring with every aspect of my life. I started taking anti-depression meds for a few months and they worked great!! I just hope you find the strength to get past this relationship one way or another!!!
I promise is gets better and better the longer you stay away from him!!!! We are all here for you!!!