Red-neck Valentine's Love Poem RED-NECK VALENTINE'S LOVE POEM Collards is green my dog's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas. You move like the bass, which excite me in May. You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway. Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan. Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can. You have som'a yore teeth, for which I am proud; I hold my head high when we're in a crowd. On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms, well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms. Still them fellers at work, they all want to know, what I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe. Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man, to patch up life's troubles and fix what you can. Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead. You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed. Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt, you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt. When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack, my life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack. Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'. despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'. Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank, we go together like a skunk goes with stank. Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day; They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way. Some men git roses on that special day from the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say. Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth. "Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth. But for this man, honey, these won't do. Cause yo're too special, you sweet thang you. I got you a gift, without taste nor odor, more useful than diamonds... IT'S A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!! |
Are you sure you live in Germany and not NW Florida? LOL! We got some good ol' boyz down this way that will get a kick outta that! |
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OMG I LOVE IT! LMAO!! :lol tears I loooove the part about the skunk, LOL TOO dang funny!! I am so e-mailing that to everyone I know from TX! They will CRACK up! My hubby is gonna just die :D LOL :yelrotflm :yelrotflm :yelrotflm |
That is HILARIOUS!!!! :D Thanks for sharing!!! I am passing it on!!! |
Uhhh, just a correction here. I'm from Louisiana, the heart of red-neck country. This is definitely "hillbilly". If it was red-neck, the valentine would be a new deer rifle, or better yet, a mounted deer head.:D |
LOLOL!! hahahaha :D |
:lol tears Thanks for sharing. I will pass it on. Carol & Buddy:aimeeyork |
Fantastic! :D :D |
Omg! That is so funny! Sounds like my people:) |
Funny! Heck, I can relate to most of it! :D |
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