What she said. Also I'm very sorry this happened to you. I know it can hurt SO much. I really do hope he didn't do anything horrible and if he did go to a strip club that he didn't do anything he wasn't supposed to, well actually nothing at all because really what could a man do that's good at a strip club??

Thats good to hear. It is so hurtful when something like this happens. I remember a time or two my husband was late...I called the sheriffs dept & state Hwy Patrol to see if there was any accidents-worried sick, after a few more hours I'd think he better be dead or I'll kill him myself. To find out he was out w/friends always afraid to call because he knew I would say get your ... home now or come get your .... & move in with your friends since the 8 hrs at work isnt enough time to spend w/them. Men are just stupid, its a fact. I love mine dearly but know that he only responds to yelling, threats & sex. And if they dont respond to those you may never tame them. I am trying to raise my son to respect women & if he does anything like this I will beat him myself. We've all been there cause a man is a man. And a smart woman is a lesbian,lol. I think you did right because he isnt one of those guys who just doesnt care. He just needed to realize he does. Now you just need to make sure he remembers. Take care girl.

Just so you know....it is ALWAYS someone else's fault. I can only say that I hope he truly learned from this and won't do it again. It is terrible to see families torn apart....it is also terrible to see them miserable and together for the wrong reasons. Some do learn and some learn to be more sneaky and have more than one lie prepared (which was his case). If I were you, I'd like to know what "friend" and HOW MUCH MONEY HE BLEW THERE:eek: . My husband's ex-wife is a stripper (we have had their daughter since she was 3 and is now almost 14). She is on her 4th divorce (my hubby was #2). Anyway, she tells me how men will spend their entire paychecks. She says the majority of them have wedding bands on. I am only telling you this so if this is where he was....it can be addicting and and very costly. I hope he gets on the right path and trust can be earned and well deserved again.

Seems to me the typical pattern for someone who is a big fat liar.

First they try to joke it off and laugh and be cute.
Next when the first doesn't work they try the sympathy I'm sorry cry.

Obviously he only had to do 2 steps with you.

The third would have been anger and turning the situation around to you being the bad guy so you were begging his forgiveness.

Sorry to say but this will not be the last time he disappears. He has now learned his way works with no real repercussions .

Wow. We are here to support each other not make each other suicidal. My advice to some posters is that if you wake up on the wrong side of the bed go back to bed & try it again. At least word it more nicely-Recap-Supportive not give up/roll over & die. Some people make mistakes & learn, some don't, Fulrtonchigirl-I really hope the best for you & your man, I know you have faith in him so I do too. Good Luck. Maybe your husband would like to read this forum. :thumbup:

I hope things work out for you, but IMHO, it's not looking good.

You need to realize, that there is nothing wrong with you, you are just picking the wrong men.

I just wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! I hope you had a good one and things get better

Happy Belated Birthday!! Hope things work out! :)

Happy Belated Birthday....i hope you fix things!!!!

***Sigh.*** I don't know about this one. Tied up a little too nicely. I would never say you should just give up and leave him but.......maybe there are still some issues that weren't dealt with? Perhaps some pre-marital counseling to air out and get rid of some problems? And his friend, who was totally clueless to their bar night celebrating his 21st birthday - now you don't trust HIM? Wow. The friend isn't in the relationship, your fiance is. I hope you two can work it out, but I hope you know too that just because you love someone and they are a good father, they may not be the one for you. We all grow up, and sometimes apart.

where did this come from ??? I don't know what comments you were referring to - but I mostly ALWAYS wake up on the right side of the bed so I don't understand....I saw helpful comments in this thread & lots of us have been in her shoes - I saw alot of sympathy and advise but holy cow - no one wants to make someone feel suicidal !! :eek: :eek: she asked for opinions and got some ....and men CAN be jerks - it's just a fact of life lol - doesn't make them bad men .....

Edite to add - personally I thiink she needs to go out to the Girls version of the strip club and just let loose ....take a few dollar bills and have fun - she had a birthday to celebrate lol

im so sorry i am not in the same situation but a close sit. but my husband left one night and didnt tell me he was even leaving and i was asleep well my daughter who head him leave came and said dada and so i got up and low and behold he want there, and so i beeped him and told him off and he said dumb stuff and i go tthe truth out of him and i even seen this kid later the next week and i told him about it and he said yeah he was here. but the fact that hes lying about it, is suspicious. i mean why lie if he knows hes introuble then dont lie and accept your punishment. but i dont know i was gonna leave with my kids because im worth more than that but i stayed and things have slightly changed but we are working on it every day, i would be pissed and i would stick to my guns until you are level headed and think it over. and think what you want to do. and you keep your foot down on him, and you let him know he isnt running over you , treating you like nothing, or making you feel like a fool. if i was there i would smack him around for you, but since im not ill sit here and think about really hard and maybe somebody will smack him upside his head for me. i just hate to be or see any one in this position. uhhhh men who do they think they are sometime. the king of the universe, uhhh i could go forever. uhhh

I guess in my opinion a cheater is different than a liar. Lying is no good FOR SURE but maybe not enough to leave someone over. We ALL make stupid mistakes sometimes. If he is a good guy 99% of the time, and this time he made a major error in judgement...then I say forgive him. You know in your heart of hearts if he is trustworthy or not. Im sure he feels like a tard...he knows he was caught in his dumb lie and should have just come forward but sometimes we feel so stupid in our lie and are just embarrassed to admit our stupidity. You have to do what you feel is right...we all have gut instincts but dont judge him by past losers in your life..you know what I mean? Tell him how important being totally honest is and why and that breaking trust with you is BIG...without trust you dont have much. Do you trust him? I mean a strip club is nothing but a bunch of women gettting paid to make men drool over them...do you trust he doesnt cheat on you? Did you trust him before this incident? I guess there are lots of questions only you can answer for yourself. I feel your pain of being lied to...but if you trusted him before...he must have been a pretty good guy that made a idiot mistake of lying...and I think we have all done that at one time or another..good luck with whatever happens!! Hugs!!

Dawn