I guess I'm a traditionalist. I never thought twice about it it's just what you do. I also have a brother, so carring on the legacy isn't up to me. Now I know quite a few people that changed their middle names to their maiden names, so that might be a option, if it's important.

I got married later in life and considered keeping my maiden name because I had it for a long time. My husband said it was up to me and he would be ok with my decision. I decided that I was starting a new lifestyle and wanted to honor him by taking his name. I'm glad I did. It felt kind of like I left my old lifestyle behind me when I took his name. Only problem is I'm Jean and he is John. Sometimes we get mail addressed to "J" and don't know who it is for. ha ha

I tend to agree with Erin that the whole name thing just doesn't seem like a big deal. We already have a joint bank account with our different last names (as Erin mentioned). And that works out great.

As for kids, they would definately take my husband's last name.

It isn't as though I am AGAINST taking his last name, but I don't see "tradition" as a good enough reason to change it. I am very thankful that my boyfriend will support me in whatever I choose. That is a big part of why I believe he is right for me. Personally, I don't think I could marry someone who questioned my love for him just because I wanted to keep my last name. To me, I can love him the same with my last name or with his.

But I can see both sides too. I came from a very traditional family. If I decide to keep my last name, I would be the only one in my family to have done so.

I guess I basically feel that if a woman wants to change her last name, then GREAT for her! But I also feel that if a woman doesn't want to, she shouldn't be looked down on.

I want to thank everyone for their responses. I am going to give this more thought before I make a decision. I definately agree with what most people have said: It is between my boyfriend and me. Things are different for any couple so they just have to find what works best for them. There is no right/wrong answer here! :)

Coming from a mom who has two children with the name... oh we'll just say "Peterson" And my last name being "Peulicke" I get a TON of looks and my daughter gets a ton of questions... It creats a Jerry Springer kind of look from people... I go to register her in school or in softball... they write her name down and they ask me my first name and automatically start filling in my last name and I have to correct them... thats when I get that" oh... its a "yo baby's daddy" kind of look... like they expect that my son is going to have a totally different name as well!

Truth is both of my children are from the same father... and I kept my madian name when I was married to him... and when I married my second hisband.. I kept my madian name... till I looked at the school emergency card and saw three last names... madian, daughters and husbands:eek: now we did look a bit Jerry Springer! So I finally took his name! And to this day... I get the looks when ever I take Kate to the doctors and have to give our names...

It sucks. Peulicke is a total mouth full and the first husbands name was NOT any better... my madian name was a BREEZE! But for the sake of my children and not having them have to tell a store everytime someone asks if I'm her step-mom.... I wish I could go back and take my first husbands name and keep it! I was just super young and super dumb. not to say that you are in any way... but boy was I.... your smart to be seriously weighing the choice!!!:thumbup:

I took my husband's name but know a couple of women who did not. As long as it is a mutual decision with you and your man -- I think whatever you want is the best for you! I think it is getting more prevalent to keep a maiden name nowadays. Just make sure you work out details ahead of time. If children, what name will they be given? I know a family that all the children use a hyphenation of both mom and dad's last names. It works for them but they get all hyper if anyone shortens and only uses one. So, work out about correcting the "sure to come" mistakes of someone using the wrong last name for you and/or kids. I think it is sort of nice for the women to keep at least something of their maiden names. And I can understand why professional women would want to maintain a consistent identity.
Good luck to you and yours -- whichever name you decide on -- together is the important part!

I am married and i haven't changed my name it's so hard for me i hate his family and they hate me but thats not really the reason i haven't changed it i like my name lol. I did give both of my son's his last name but as for me i might one day hyphen the two but for now i'm keeping it.My hubby does get mad sometimes and other times he doesn't care. he does get really upset when someone call him Mr and my last name lol

This is what I was going to say!

If/when I get married, my man is taking MY name :D

Seriously, if the name to be taken is the one that is the 'head' of the relationship, then it's mine for sure. I'm not a back-burner kind of chick.

I'm older and when we married I took my husband's name. It was he-- changing my ss card, driver's licence and nursing license. My brother married a spanish girl and she kept her name but their daughter carries his name. He laughed every time someone called him Mr. his wife's name. Now my daughter got married-had a daughter-got divorced. Then got married a second time-had another daughter-got divorced. Couldn't stand the thought of having to keep her second husband's name so she went to court to have it changed but didn't like my husband's name(her maiden name) so she took my maiden name. AND then got married again and is keeping the name she choose in court just in case. Wow that a mouth full.

LOL. I love that!

:thumbup: EXCELLENTLY put! My father married my step-mom two years ago - she kept her last name. I really don't understand it at all. I will not be keeping my last name when I do get married. I just think it's weird that a married couple could be "Sally Johnson and Brad Davis." I don't know... maybe it's a feminism thing that got the whole keep your last name thing started, but when you get married, you join together as one... with that, your last names should match. JMO.

I'm not even close to a "back-burner" kind of chic, but I still think taking your husbands last name is appropriate.

when I got married, I did not want to take on the new name but after some time changed my mind and did the whole hyphen thing. What a pain in the butt! So now, it's the hubb's last name only. I truly feel like a family now and will more so when the kids come. Hope that helps.

I got married almost two years ago and kept my maiden name.
I believe that the choice you make should be your own. If you don't think its a big deal to take his, then do it-- it will be a lot easier. But if you feel strongly about keeping your name I think you should do it. I personally don't understand with the concept that it is insulting to your new husband to not use his name.

no i didn't even think about it it's just a name