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I Think every child deserves to be born in a home with both a father and a mother. Quote:
Fathers are such a great influence in the life of a child. Many studies have been done and have shown this to be true. It is tough growing up without a father, and I am not talking about financially. Adoption is a good option for making this possible for your child. You wouldn't be giving him (or her) up you would be giving him more. That being said this is a personal decision and one that I think should be made with much prayer and soul searching. Here is a website that offers free counseling in helping you to make a decision (whatever it may be) and consider all the options. For more information or help with an unplanned pregnancy, call 1-800-537-2229, or visit www.itsaboutlove.org . Prayers for you and your baby that you can feel good about whatever decision you make. Just my two cents, Nancy |
I wouldn't need to rely on the father for financial assistance, but I would still need it if I kept her. The father has an EXCELLENT track record in regards to income and employment. That's hasn't been an issue and I don't see it ever becoming on either! Point is, if I asked him for assitance, I know I'd get it, but I'm having issues w/ asking him to pay for something he wasn't anticipating or wanting all together. He sites me, and just did it recently: "If I thought you wouldn't have an abortion like we discussed, then you and I never would've gotten together." That's a rule of thumb and a question he asks every girl he is interested in prior to doing anything w/ them. Funny, (not that it should matter) but I only remember this conversation taking place AFTER we had gotten together a few times...because I was on the pill-he was "safe". Whatever. My stomach hurts again just thinking about his reactions to this whole thing. |
I wouldn't need to rely on the father for financial assistance, but I would still need it if I kept her. The father has an EXCELLENT track record in regards to income and employment. That's hasn't been an issue and I don't see it ever becoming on either! Point is, if I asked him for assitance, I know I'd get it, but I'm having issues w/ asking him to pay for something he wasn't anticipating or wanting all together. He sites me, and just did it recently: "If I thought you wouldn't have an abortion like we discussed, then you and I never would've gotten together." That's a rule of thumb and a question he asks every girl he is interested in prior to doing anything w/ them. Funny, (not that it should matter) but I only remember this conversation taking place AFTER we had gotten together a few times...because I was on the pill-he was "safe". Whatever. My stomach hurts again just thinking about his reactions to this whole thing. |
Just a word of advice and maybe a tiny bit of wisdom.:) Your a proud young lady. I understand what you are saying. You dont want a forced obligation on the father, you so wish it was natural thing. You dont want to HAVE to make him pay if he doesnt agree wholeheartedly. Is that close? If it is, Tell him, see how he reacts. It may be nothing like you want. It may hurt like hell too. Then think about it a day or two. But if in the end you decide to have this baby on your own because you as the mother decide to.. with so much thought. Please dont worry about making him take responsibility. Hopefully he will also later take a emotional part too but dont count on it. :( You are very bright, you will get a spark, a feeling, a guidance what to do.:love-hug3 |
I would keep my Baby....and find a way to make it work. There are great financial assistance programs for young single mothers that the government offers. The father of your child is still legally and morally responsible for the financial care of your child in every State of this country. I would have NO issues with asking him to accept his half of his responsibility. No one "anticipates" an unwanted pregnancy.....but engaging in sexual activity...no matter what the birth control....still provides the potential for a pregnancy to occur. If he was so adamant about not wanting to father a child....then he should have practiced abstinence...or had himself sterilized. It takes TWO people to create a child. His verbage to you would have incensed me. He actually had a DISCUSSION about killing an unborn child..in the event you became Pregnant? I'm apalled as his selfishness. I'd get every penny from that man the Law allowed....and if he wants no part of this child's rearing...then count your Blessings. You'll have a better chance of raising a loving...responsible human being...without him! Quote:
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I am all for adoption as I was adopted at birth..BUT I think it should be in situations where there are no other options for a mother. Someone in their twenties, not a drug addict, able to work etc can do quite well raising a child and being unmarried..and with outside help from family and the community. I have 5 genetic siblings, I was the only one who was adopted..and into a family of priveledge with really caring, loving parents. My siblings stayed in a very poor home, so poor that when it rained their beds got wet from the leaking roof, neighbors fed them in bad times.. they never had a birthday party, christmas tree or gifts. I am told I was lucky to escape this..but I wonder sometimes..I never knew my mother who was a wonderful person I am told. My siblings will talk about the fun they had together and the tight bond of love because of their situation...so was I the lucky one..somedays I say yes..some, no. |
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