I feel like a loser
 

If anyone cares, I am really tried of life :( see with my illness I have no control over my life and it make me :mad: :mad: some will understand and some will not, I am what my doc likes to calls house bound that's part of my illness where you can't leave your house but I do take my son to school,IF and that's a big IF I go any where someone has to be with me I don't do malls or wal-mart or any thing big all I do is put gas in my car ever two weeks :( But to nite I went to my son's football game and now all I want to do is :cry: there was a fight with a few football players and I talked to one mom of the boy his father is a cop,now my son will not speak to me :( He yell at me for saying something to the guys mom now the boy will want to fight my son:thumbdown and plus that he got hurt again.He is 16 and 6.1 and 248lbs he has hurt me I mean my arms he trys to break them his father took care of it this time. My life is sad I have no friends,all I got is my yorkies and husband and my laptop :) just had to let it out. If you want to think less of me for this than do. BUT please don't judge me until you walk a mile in my shoes. I just don't know what to do anymore :confused:

First of all sorry life has you down.
Do you suffer from agoraphobia? I'm a little confused about what you were saying about not leaving the house but I think that is what you meant.
If you don't mind me asking what kind of illness?

Dragonfly, I am so very sorry you are having problems. What part of Georgia do you live in? I am a GRITS girl also -- Girl Raised In The South

I have Bipolar, I live on Lookout Mountain right outside of chattanooga Tn
I really hate this illness I know stay on your meds.

But you talked about being housebound. Is that because of a fear you have?

Yes it is a fear, But it's more like I don't want to leave my house. See with bipolar you have all these up and downs like riding a roller coater ride BUT it never STOPS.

OMG - Sending you hugs !! That sounds really devestating and it must be so hard for others to understand your illness- and yes - you have a REAL Illness - agoraphobia is not in your mind and it can be treated from what I've read about it.....

My concern was your son - what do you mean - he hurts you ? Your son hurts you physically ? Did I read that right ? cause I dont want to say anything till I know for sure that's what you meant. IF it IS what you mean to say - then yes- I'd say you have serious issues in your house honey....

IF YOU NEED TO TALK I'm here.....and you are NOT a loser !

Forgive me if I over step here, I also am home 24/7 but i don't have bipolar. I know when I have just me, myself & I, it does drive me to a point of self pity on occasion. I find I need something in my life that gives me a reason to get out of bed, a purpose in life. With a computer you still have a lot you can do,..you just have to find your interests... There are a lot of universities now where you can take adult continuing education classes... an example in our college is psychology, personal finance, computers, personal enrichment(conquering shyness,stress etc.),etc. I really hope you feel better. Just trying to help .

Forgive me if I over step here, I also am home 24/7 but I don't have bipolar. I know when I have just me, myself & I, it does drive me to a point of self pity on occasion. I find I need something in my life that gives me a reason to get out of bed, a purpose in life. With a computer you still have a lot you can do,..you just have to find your interests... There are a lot of universities now where you can take adult continuing education classes... an example in our college is psychology, personal finance, computers, personal enrichment(conquering shyness,stress etc.),etc. I really hope you feel better. Just trying to help .

I have Bipolar too. Have you tried different meds. I have been on many untill I found one that worked for me. It is Geodon. I know before I didnt want t leave the house either but that is not healthy and I dont think your meds are working for you

I am also bipolar, have been since I was nine years old. There is a great website called BipolarHappens. I highly recommend it. I do not suffer from agoraphobia, but I do have anxiety attacks occasionally. I'm on a not-so-often used medicine called Tofranil and have been for over 20 years. The doctors have tried other types, but none worked as well for me. It truly is extremely important that you find a doctor well versed in this disease. Best of luck to you.

What happened at the ballgame can be expected from time to time. You have no control over that, so don't beat yourself up about it. As for your son, maybe he is bipolar also as it is hereditary. If he's that big and that mean, maybe he needs to see a doctor also.

This disease is manageable, it just takes a lot of work and patience (of which we sometimes have none of!) Feel free to PM me any time you need someone to talk to that understands.

I'm sorry you had the incident at the ballgame, and I'm concerned about the situation with your son, but if it makes you feel any better, I think there are times when we ALL feel like complete losers! I know I do from time to time! I know your situation is severe, but we all do have our ups and downs, and our times of being disappointed in ourselves. You are not as alone as you think!

Good luck!

I'm so sorry you have to go through all this. Please keep your chin up though. One of my best friends always says. "Things are always better in the end. If it's not better, then it is not the end." I'm sending hugs!!!:big_hug: :ghug:

I have no advice to offer you because I've never been in a situation like yours and I don't know anybody that is. I can't imagine what your daily life must be like. I will pray for you and your family!

Read this
 

http://panicdisorder.about.com/cs/ag...aphobia101.htm

I suffered from this years ago and still do to some point. The main thing to try and do is not avoid places and face it head on. The longer you avoid the smaller your world will become.
Try and find a support group in your area for agoraphobia. It will help knowing others suffer also. You won't feel so alone. There is some grat books out, some with exercises to do to help you face and overcome your fears. Try and order this book,it is great! Good luck and pull yourself up.
As for your son , maybe some counseling would help.He might be suffering also.


http://www.amazon.com/Agoraphobia-Wo.../dp/1572243236

I'm so sorry you are going through this, I can't imagine suffering like that :( I hope things get better for you.

You are NOT a loser! You suffer from a real illness. I am sorry that your life has got you down, but I'm happy that you found us here at YT!!! We will cheer you up! :D

Thanks everyone and all that pm me,it's mean alot when ppl care sometime it seem as no one does. Like a good girl I took my meds last nite and went to sleep I'm feeling better now that I have read all the post. My son is so much bigger than I he likes to think he can push me around, when I said he hurts me I meant he did hurt me he got mad and tried to break my arm he didn't my husband took can't of him,you know no driving no dates.Bless my husband heart he has been thru so much I counldn't live with out him. Thanks everyone for caring.It mean more than you know.

I am so glad you feel better, I am glad your husband can handle your son when he gets mean. We all care and hope better days are ahead.

God bless you.

I know you're feeling down and I know what you mean. Sometimes life seems to keep throwing curve balls at me too. You just have to try to look forward to a brighter day or concentrate on the positive things in your life. Try to be optimistic and think that life could always be worse.
What I have found out is that no matter where in the world you are there are TONS of supportive, caring people on YT! Why not consider THEM your friends too!? The people here are really sweet and they will always be there for you. You're lucky to come across one of the most supportive, caring groups on the internet. We also share the same interests (Your yorkie is beautiful by the way)!
Please tell your doctor and your family everything you have told us so that you get the care you need. Maybe you need to be on different meds? It always makes me feel better if I talk about what is bothering me. The step you have taken to talk to us on YT about it are great.
As for your son, being a teenager is tough. The best thing to do is try to sit down and talk calmly about it. Let him know everything that is going on with you and that you need his support, especially when you do go to his games because when you go you are really supporting him. He also needs to know that even though he is a young man, he is still a very big man who should never try to lay his hands on any woman, especially his mother.
I really hope you get to feeling better. I have been on bedrest before. I know how depressing, sad, and boring it can get. Are there some hobbies you enjoy? Maybe you could go to half.com and get some used books sent to your door that you've been wanting to read? That is something I really enjoy doing! Good luck with everything and I hope you get to feeling better.

Sounds like he needs to go to anger management classes. :(

Nicely done!
 

Very well said! :thumbup:

I do know how you are feeling. I am married to a bipolar. He has been on meds for about 5 years but seems to be down most of the time. Even though he is the one with the disease, I am the one who takes the brunt of it. I, too, prefer to stay at home. It is my safe place. Have you tried counceling? I am looking into it for me and my husband. No one will judge you, we all have our little hang-ups. And we all deal with them differently. My prayers are with you. My MD is a pastors wife and she is a constant plus in my life. She takes care of my BP husband and me. It does sound as if your son may need to be evaluated. Please take your meds and try your best to keep going one day at a time. You can pm any of us at any time. That is what friends are for. Hugs and God Bless.
Debbie

So glad you are feeling better today. Take care of yourself,life is somtimes hard but we are here for you,just thought I would send you a hug.

I am sorry you are feeling the way you do, but bi-polar or no bi-polar I think we have all felt like this before. Please continue your meds and, if they aren't working, try new ones until they get it right. I know I take Prozac and will start thinking I don't need them anymore and they don't do anything for me. It's a very short time before I realize I'm not leaving the house, sleeping too much, depressed, etc. so I start taking them again and feel better.

I also am a homebody, but by choice. I enjoy reading, painting ceramics, and sewing outfits for the dogs. I also raise parrots so that keeps me busy feeding baby birds. I am glad you found YT as an outlet at least to communicate with others and I'm sure there are agoraphobia discussion boards you could also benefit by participating in.

Don't ever give up hope that you will find the meds or counseling that makes you feel normal. I, personally, have found that trust in God helps me deal with the issues we face in life - turning everything over to him sure takes a lot of weight off your shoulders.

Thanks for sharing your story.

[QUOTE=Lacy's Mom]I am sorry you are feeling the way you do, but bi-polar or no bi-polar I think we have all felt like this before. Please continue your meds and, if they aren't working, try new ones until they get it right. I know I take Prozac and will start thinking I don't need them anymore and they don't do anything for me. It's a very short time before I realize I'm not leaving the house, sleeping too much, depressed, etc. so I start taking them again and feel better.

I also am a homebody, but by choice. I enjoy reading, painting ceramics, and sewing outfits for the dogs. I also raise parrots so that keeps me busy feeding baby birds. I am glad you found YT as an outlet at least to communicate with others and I'm sure there are agoraphobia discussion boards you could also benefit by participating in.

Don't ever give up hope that you will find the meds or counseling that makes you feel normal. I, personally, have found that trust in God helps me deal with the issues we face in life - turning everything over to him sure takes a lot of weight off your shoulders.

Thanks for sharing your story.[/QUote

Do you stuffer from depression? That is one thing Prozac is for plus many more. When I said I was house bound that means I don't go anywhere where there is alot of ppl, see I don't like ppl looking at me because I shake BAD my arms and hands, I have alot to do here around the house I have 6 yorkies to keep me buzy, I take my meds I have had biploar for 7 years I know where my faith lays in the hands of my lord JESUS CHRIST. I know alot about what Kathryn is going thru. God bless!

I hope today looks brighter to you. Don't feel so alone. Anytime you are feeling that way, please come to YT. There is nearly always someone on here who understands and cares.:)

I guess I do suffer from depression, at least that's the diagnosis for my chronic fatigue. I am also hypothyroid which usually goes hand in hand with depression. I have no reason to be depressed, maybe one of these days they'll figure out all of these disorders, but it definitely runs in my family.

The Prozac does help me with no side effects, unless you call losing some weight a side effect! I was on Effexor XR before, but I gained a lot of weight very quickly and it made me even more tired.

[QUOTE=Dragonfly][QUOTE=Lacy's Mom]I am sorry you are feeling the way you do, but bi-polar or no bi-polar I think we have all felt like this before. Please continue your meds and, if they aren't working, try new ones until they get it right. I know I take Prozac and will start thinking I don't need them anymore and they don't do anything for me. It's a very short time before I realize I'm not leaving the house, sleeping too much, depressed, etc. so I start taking them again and feel better.

I also am a homebody, but by choice. I enjoy reading, painting ceramics, and sewing outfits for the dogs. I also raise parrots so that keeps me busy feeding baby birds. I am glad you found YT as an outlet at least to communicate with others and I'm sure there are agoraphobia discussion boards you could also benefit by participating in.

Don't ever give up hope that you will find the meds or counseling that makes you feel normal. I, personally, have found that trust in God helps me deal with the issues we face in life - turning everything over to him sure takes a lot of weight off your shoulders.

Thanks for sharing your story.[/QUote

Do you stuffer from depression? That is one thing Prozac is for plus many more. When I said I was house bound that means I don't go anywhere where there is alot of ppl, see I don't like ppl looking at me because I shake BAD my arms and hands, I have alot to do here around the house I have 6 yorkies to keep me buzy, I take my meds I have had biploar for 7 years I know where my faith lays in the hands of my lord JESUS CHRIST. I know alot about what Kathryn is going thru. God bless![/QUOTEBless your heart. I understand. I have slight tremors now but when I was on another medication I had them real bad. Are yours the side effect of your medication. I have a tremor with my mouth that my doctor is keeping an eye on it and if it gets any worse then She will give me a new medication for it. Bipolar is a difficult disease and not alot of people really understand it. I have been through ups and downs but with the meds am on now I havent had a manic episode in over a year so I am counting my blessings. My faith helps me alot also