:lol tears :lol tears :lol tears :lol tears :lol tears

OMG! That is TOO funny!!!!!


:sidesplt: :sidesplt: :sidesplt: :sidesplt: :sidesplt:

> DIE-VORCE!!!
>
>
>
> A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40
miles per hour.
> The wife is behind the wheel.
> Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear
voice.
> "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a
divorce."
> The wife says nothing,
> keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed
to 45 mph.
> The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me
out of it,"
> he says, "because I've been having an affair with your best
friend,
> and she's a far better lover than you are."
> Again the wife stays quiet,
> but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases
the speed to 55.
> He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently..
> Up to 60.
> "I want the car, too," he continues.
> 65 mph.
> "And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit
cards and the boat!"
> The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.
> This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything
you want?"
> The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.
> "No, I've got everything I need," she says.
> "Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"
> Just before they slam into the wall at 65 mph,
> the wife turns to him and smiles. "The airbag."
>
> Moral of the Story:
> Women are clever!!!
> Don't mess with them!!
> Just smile and pass this on to those who need a laugh!!!
>

this is funny in light of all the recent gas prices: :lol tears I went into the gas station today and asked for ten dollars worth of gas. The clerk farted and gave me a receipt. :lol tears :lol tears well if you want more tell me i got a million of them LOL hope i helped you laugh!

LOLOL!!! Yep, that about nails it these days:) Keep 'em coming! I'll be leaving work soon but I'll check in when I get home for more jokes. I've got a few myself but not sure if I need to post them here. They aren't that bad but I do have to remember we have young eyes that view this forum.

Well since you brought it up... I've got one. This isn't a joke, its an embarrassing story and its all my mom's.

When I was about 3 yrs old, I was sitting with my mom in a very crowded doctor's office. Apparently I was, umm, gassy? I guess it was a bit loud (oops) and everybody looked up. My mom said, Nikki! What do you say? And I replied for the whole room, But Mommy, YOU did it!
One more funny one for my mom- She was pushing me in a shopping cart in a grocery store. She was wearing a tube top (hey it was the early 70's). I ripped it down and started loudly chanting- little boobies! little boobies!

I've had a few embarrassing moments with my own daughter but think God she isn't a little stinker like I was.

LOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!
:yelrotflm :yelrotflm :lol tears :lol tears :yelrotflm :yelrotflm :eyetearss :eyetearss hilarious!!!!

LOL:lol tears :lol tears :lol tears

devoted to Lucy!
 

OK - my husband came home from work one day and told me that a lot of changes had been made in his insurance.

The main one was that oral surgery would now be covered under his dental insurance.

I was cooking and said the first thing that came to mind, "Good, now you can have a vasectomy"!




:p Kim & Lucy:aimeeyork