thank you suzi... that was sweet.... he is coming over tonight and we will
talk.. i know it will be ok....

Gina-
I hope things work out for you in whatever way is best. Please NEVER settle - so make sure you get everything worked out and stick to it. Only true respect for each other will get you to the right place. See this as an opportunity to begin again. Good luck!

I hope everything works out. I will be the first to tell you that I am a biotch sometimes, but my fiance' and I have come to an understanding we are both adults and we will treat each other as such. We don't even say shut up to each other because that's not how grown people should talk to each other. I agree with Suzi talk to him about your expectations and listen to his. I think a lot of times we expect things but don't verbalize them to our partner.

Dr. Phil here,, on the show right now..

Questions to ask..
1. Isolated or pattern
2. Own it or excuses
3. Insight or Oblivious
4. sorry for choices or sorry got caught.

its all good now. thank you .. he just apoligized to me and now we are gonna
talk tonight.... i have to be calm and not snap so fast too

Something to think about...
 

I think you need to explain to him how a MAN behaves or is SUPPOSED to behave towards a woman. He needs that. Here's some info from Dr. Phil.

How to Fight Fair
How you argue — especially how you end an argument — can determine the long-term success or failure of your relationship.

A primary requirement for any fight is to maintain control. You do not have the license to be childish, abusive or immature. If you have legitimate feelings, you are entitled to give a reasonable voice to those feelings in a constructive way. (That includes not being self-righteous or taking yourself too seriously.)

"Disagreements are going to occur," says Dr. Phil. "The question is, do you go into it with a spirit of looking for resolution or do you go into it with a spirit of getting even, vengeance, control? You'll never win if you do that. If you make your relationship a competition, that means your spouse has to lose in order for you to win. It's not a competition, it's a partnership."

Here are Dr. Phil's specific rules for fighting fair.


Take it private and keep it private.
Fighting in front of your children is nothing short of child abuse. It can and will scar them emotionally — all because you don't have the self-control to contain yourself until you can talk privately.


Keep it relevant.
Don't bring up old grudges or sore points when they don't belong in a particular argument. Put boundaries around the subject matter so that a fight doesn't deteriorate into a free-for-all.


Keep it real.
Deal with the issue at hand, not with a symptom of the problem. Get real about what is bothering you, or you will come away from the exchange even more frustrated.


Avoid character assassination.
Stay focused on the issue, rather than deteriorating to the point of attacking your partner personally. Don't let the fight degenerate into name-calling.


Remain task-oriented.
Know what you want going into the disagreement. If you don't have a goal in mind, you won't know when you've achieved it.


Allow for your partner to retreat with dignity.
How an argument ends is crucial. Recognize when an olive branch is being extended to you — perhaps in the form of an apology or a joke — and give your partner a face-saving way out of the disagreement.


Be proportional in your intensity.
Every single thing you disagree about is not an earth-shattering event or issue. You do not have to get mad every time you have a right to be.


There's a time limit.
Arguments should be temporary, so don't let them get out of hand. Don't allow the ugliness of an argument to stretch on indefinitely.

Nobella..:thumbup: Can I say.. LOVE Dr. Phil, did ya see his primetime show last night, We can go OT cause as she said..."its all good now. thank you .. "

I know but I HAD to post it because I see so many people sell themselves short because of fear of never meeting the right one. But this was it for the advice..lol...I promise.

got this in an email....sharing

a man wrote this....
Ladies,
read it slow, think about it, and take a long look at your life.
=
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you,
nothing can make him stay.
=
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
=
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
=
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to
be.
=
Slower is better.
=
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly
happy.
=
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you
deserve, then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't
mistreat a friend.
=
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he
probably is.
=
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at
yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
=
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
=
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you
any differently?
=
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
=
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you,
speak up.
=
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
=
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
=
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he
has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
=
He is a man, nothing more, nothing less.
=
Never let a man define who you are.
=
Never borrow someone else's man. Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll
cheat on you.
=
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
=
All men are NOT dogs.
=
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a
two-way street.
=
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute
about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new
relationship.
=
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship
consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not
supplementary.
=
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
=
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always knows where you are, and
you're always readily available to him, he takes it for granted.
=
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you
need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
=
Share this with other ladies.....You'll make someone SMILE, another
RETHINK her choices and another woman PREPARE.
=
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to
appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget
them.
A kind word picks up a friend when trouble weighs him or her down.
_________________

Nice post Stacey :thumbup:

I have too many friends that sell themselves short, and put up with way too much B.S. cause they think " that" is better than being alone,, god forbid, you don't have a bf, ya know.. believe me the're are much worse things.. It's sad. Being ALONE and being LONELY are two different things.

Never let a man define who you are.

with or without one.

what the heck did i start? sorry gals...

It's odd to me because I enjoyed being single soooooooo much. It was fun to date and I definetly did'nt want a boyfriend. Women don't need to be in a relationship. I agree so much with the healing in between relationships part. So many women are relationship junkies and can't ever be alone. I spent the better part of 29 years alone and I am so glad that I did. Don't get me wrong I love my boyfriend. However, I don't need him, he just compliments my life.:)

Hey Gina,
I know what you mean when you say that it's you also, 1because I think I've been in the same kind of bad relationships in the past that you have been. Do you think maybe you might subconciously be trying to push him to test him and try to see if he's at all like those ex's? That is what I had done to my husband when we were dating. I would push his buttons and say things that I didn't mean to see if he would act like them. Although I don't condone him saying the F word to you I think things will get better in time. Remember that it is good to have little fights sometimes, it sure is better than holding it all in and not talking to eachother.

With time you guys will get to know eachother and learn what to do to calm the other person down during these fights. Some people need a moment by themselves to think so that things don't esculate. But everyone is different. I can tell that you really love him and with time you will be ready to give your heart to him completely. I am glad that you guys texted eachother. It takes a lot of pride to tell the other person that you love and to apologize. Good luck with everything.
Cher