I have a stalker.....help! (seriously)
 

Ok, those of you who know me even a little bit know I'm an honest person - please know that I am telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Tonight I called the cops. Finally. After over 4 months of harassment, I've had enough. I have a phone stalker. He started calling me mid-January - the first time as a "wrong number". But once he heard the sound of my voice, it's like he couldn't get enough.

For the past 4 months now, "Ricky" has been calling me nonstop. 3 in the morning, 7 in the morning, 11 at night, 2 in the afternoon, you name it..........and breathing into the phone. (And when I don't answer......10 minute breathing voicemail messages!! It's creepy!)

I called Sprint (my service provider for my mobile and only phone) - and Sprint said that they can only block business phone numbers related to telemarking type calls. My only choices were to 1) change my number (and I just did that when I moved here 6mo. ago, and I'm not willing to do it again.) or to 2) "Answer" the phone calls by opening my phone for 1 second, and then ending the call. - This would register his number in my received calls list that will be visible by the cops if and when I call them and they subpoena my phone records.

HOWEVER, the cop who filed the report tonight told me that he can't press charges yet b/c "Ricky" has made no threats of harm to me - in fact, he's said nothing at all. Just perverted breathing. Every time. But, the cop DID tell me he was going to call and tell the stalker to stop calling me. The OFFICIAL "warning" that if he continues his behavior, further actions will be taken against him.

I'm hoping this scares him off!!! The cop also told me to keep a "journal" type record of every time he calls from this day forward. It is "harassment" but a weak case since the guy isn't actually saying anything.

My husband used HIS phone and called the stalker's number back when the harassment first started, and told him to STOP CALLING HIS WIFE. He sternly told him never to call me again. But, the phone calls only stopped for about a week before getting worse than ever. (My husband said "Who is this?" and the guy answered in a horribly deep southern drawl "Ricky" that sounded more like "Reeeck-eeeyyyy.") But that's all we know of him.

ARUGH I'm so frustrated. I'm scared, too, I mean if this idiot doesn't stop after 4 months of not even having the pleasure of hearing me say "hello?".....I'm afraid he'll further try to contact me in other ways, etc. I have to push it out of my mind b/c every time he calls, it upsets me to the point of tears. But I've let him hear me cry once (in the beginning) and I know it just "feeds" his want to keep calling me so I stopped even saying Hello. My friends don't even call as much as this guy does. It's SO dumb. And scary.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Very creepy and I'm sorry you have to endure such sickness. But in my honest opinion, although you don't want to, I think you need to change your number. I know it seems unfair that because of some sicko you have to do this again, but considering the alternative, it seems a small price to pay for your sanity and security. Good luck.

You could trying getting an anti harrassment order.

OMG! VAL!!! That is so scary!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sorry that this person is stalking you! ARe you sure there isn't anything you can do??????:(

What an a$$hole!!! I freaking hate hearing about this BS. This happened to my best friend and FINALLY after the cops did nothing, a bunch of her friends and family drove around and finally caught him - he would call from local pay phones and threaten to kill her/rape her/etc. It was awful. :( I hope that the cops start taking stuff like this seriously because it is traumatizing to everyone involved.

Outside of my husband calling him and telling him not to call me (which didn't work) and now calling the cops, who will call him and tell him to leave me alone....we'll see if this works. I sure hope so!

I can't imagine the guy being that stupid to keep calling me after a police officer calls him, ya know? But who knows.

If it continues I'll press charges and as a last resort, might change my # - but only as a last resort. I hate losing touch with ppl b/c of number changes! :(

Maybe you should do like they do in the movies, blow a fog horn or a whistle into the phone. It's scary that someone can invade your personal life and there's not much that you can do about it. You would think that the police could see all the phone calls that he's made to you and put a stop to it. You may need to go ahead and change your phone number.

Is there no way to block just his number on a cell phone? I know you can do it with a regular one.
One of my friends was also stalked. She used a check to pay for a delivery pizza once and the delivery man kept flirting with her. She wasn't interested, she only appeared alone because her husband was underway. Anyways, he wrote down all of her information from the check and started calling her and even showed up at her front door with pizza out of the blue!:eek: I guess he thought it was a kind gesture. She told him that she's married and if he talks to her again she would call the police. It is highly illegal for a biasness to use customer information for their own gain.
I really hope something like this isn't what happened to you. Unfortunately most stalkers are people we have met. I wish your husband could find that guy and give him a big punch in the face! I hate it when men enjoy making women feel this way. I am home alone many nights because of my husband's work and I would be terrified to be going through what you are. I really hope the cops stop that jerk.

I hate to hear that Val. Its frustrating and scary to say the least. People who prank call are really immmature with no lives obviously. I hope this perv leaves you alone. You do not deserve to be harrassed and do not hesitate to keep the officials involved.

I can't understand why you don't want to change your phone number????
(and, of course, get an unlisted number). Why, given these circumstances, are you "not willing" to change your number. I'd change mine in a jack minute.

I'll lay you ten to one, this guy has several women he calls constantly. And, as long as he can reach you and upset you -- you're on his list!

At least - change your number.....


Carol Jean

Very creepy. I hope the call from the cop scares him. Keep us posted on what happens.

Val, blow his ears out!!
 

Get a whistle, air horn, trumpet, some kind of really loud noise maker, and blow his freekin ears out!!! Go for it!!! Hope he gets a migraine!!:D

Love ya, girlie, and I am so sorry this is happening to you. :ghug: I got stalked via phone once, and it does indeed suck. It didn't last long, just a couple weeks, and one time he called and I said my phone was tapped by the police and he never called back. lolol dummy.

GOOD LUCK, sweetie! Let us know how this all turns out, OK? Stay safe!!

He will always have it..change that number...
 

Oh Val...that is very frustrating and un-nerving. Is this a local call from your area?

I know here at the house we have caller ID and we only answer calls that are identifiable. Sometimes numbers just don't come up on folks that we need to give a call back when our message machine picks up.

I would of thought the police would suggest to change your number...I know this guy deserves something for the constant harassment...but you also need to take control and protect yourself from it.

I'd change my number...and then let all your friends and business contacts know. We are a military family...change our number every 2-3 years..and still haven't lost contact of friends and folks.
That may stop the problem in its tracks...and then if it doesn't..you know this person knows more about you than a phone number...and that is serious.

Keep documenting....If you change your number...document when etc...and if it happens to a new number...something more is up.
You would think someone would tire of it after awhile...gosh...
and...lastly. Screen your calls...and it sounds like you are...open and close the phone...get them tracked.
Its those night calls that you need to keep track of ...ugg...

Thats why you should just plung and change the number first before going through all that....then if it continues...we have a serious problem of a sicko...and stalker...

Hugs to you....we do care about you....don't put up with this stuff.

This is very unnerving even if he never says anything. Short of changing your phone #, the next best alternative is to blast something very loud into the phone very time he calls and then hang up. If the cop telling him to stop doesn't work, try the noise - I can't imagine anyone continuing to call if met with that every time.

Good luck.

Oh Val - that's horrible ! Not only does it interrupt your life you don't know if he's watching you or not. :confused: :eek:

I agree with everyone - start being tough - maybe you can simulate some clicking noises like your phone is being traced ? What a jerk that loser is but I'm still scared for you - I would def change your number - I have an unlisted number and it's not so bad and we never had problems with obscene callers anymore -

GOOD LUCK !

since you published his phone number....maybe we should all call him and let him know...."we know what you are doing" and if he sees he is getting calls from a bunch of different area codes, this may stop him.
what do you think????

This is exactly what I was going to say... If the cops talking to him doesn't stop it then we need to get a few of us on here to call him. Just plan a time so ever five min. he'll get a phone call from one of us...

Crystal

Val I hope the cops calling him, stops him. Good luck.

Lisa, Crystal, I plead the 5th, but feel free to call him if you want! I love everyone's fog horn, loud piercing noise ideas!! Those are GREAT! Why haven't I thought of that yet?! What a funny idea!

I can't change my number *yet* - he is calling me on my unlisted mobile number. I do not have a home phone line, only this cellphone. This is it, and I just changed it from my TN number to the local area code here in SC, and every time I change my number I am terrified I'm going to lose touch with someone, ya know? I refuse to sacrifice my friends just to get rid of this guy.

The cops are calling him today - the REAL cops, and giving him an ultimatum (stop calling......or go to court, haha.) HOPEFULLY this is it.

But feel free to call - and if you do I wanna know if he says anything. I think his name is "Ricky".....but I have never met this guy in my life, trust me, he's a total stranger, and a creepy one at that.

I don't want my phone to ever have record of me calling him - but if I can't, you can. LOL, this could be kinda fun.

How about no reaction from you at all. When you get his call, open the phone, and set it aside. Harassing someone can't be much fun if you don't get a reaction. Or any chance you and hubby can switch phones? You use his and visa versa? Can't imagine he'd continue calling you if it wasn't you answering the phone....

Maybe the police tactic will succeed in scaring him off, and you won't need any of our help or suggestions. Good luck.....

I'm game - anything to help a friend -

Val - if you want - why NOT give him a taste of his own medicine ?

He probably does not know you if it started with a wrong number ,but I suppose that could be a red herring. You would know if you changed numbers and the calls continued . I hope he gets the message from the police and just calls it a day. I know how you feel as I have had a few calls like this in the past!! Then found out i was someone I knew quite well. I let them know I knew it was them and have never broken breath to them since. I just completly ignore him if I see him now. But its horrible not knowing who it is and if you know them I hope you get it sorted out if not just try some of the alarm ideas like sounding something loud and ear piercing down the phone.

Val, I'm so sorry. But please listen to me ... BE CAREFUL! This guy is obviously deranged and crazy. He may try to retaliate after the cops call him today. You need to be very careful if you go out alone at night. Let me tell you about my experience -- it's a long story.

When I was 19, I started working in Manhattan at a large law firm -- my first "real" grown up job. After working about 5 or 6 months, I began to notice this middle aged guy in a lot of places -- on the train or express bus, outside of my office building occassionally and sometimes at places I'd go eat for lunch. But I never really paid him any attention because I just figured he worked in the same area as me. But then he started making eye contact with me and giving me these creepy, leery smiles. Then one day out of the blue, while I was walking from the train station to work, he came up to me and said "Good morning Jennifer." I almost had a heart attack!! I said, "Who are you and how do you know my name" and he said (which scared the HELL out of me), "I know everything about you Jennifer Lynn. Where you work, what train you take, where you live. I know that you when you eat at Wendys, you dip your french fries in a frosty. I know everything about you." I remember what he said to me EXACTLY! Well I'm sure you can guess my reaction … I RAN LIKE A BAT OUT OF HELL TO WORK!!

When I got to work I called my parents and the cops. My dad took me to file a police report. But basically the police said they couldn't do anything to him because he hadn't threatened me or tried to hurt me -- also, I didn't know who the guy was, I didn't even know his name. But I was still scared $hitless. My dad drove me into work for the next week but that couldn't last forever so I started to take the train again. I didn't see the guy for a few weeks and then it started again. He would always say hello or hi and smirk at me in some sick way. By this time, my dad was picking me up after work (which wasn't easy because he worked in Brooklyn and I worked in Manhattan -- he had to drive through all that crazy traffic every night!!) Whenever my dad would pick me up, we never saw the guy. It was like he saw my dad and then just left so that there would not be a fight or argument. But my dad is smart (and sneaky). One night after work he said that he wasn't coming to get me. So I left my building and the creep was outside and started following me. Then out of nowhere my dad and 3 of my cousins jumped out of a car. They said to me where's the guy and I pointed him out -- he was walking practically right behind me. So my dad and cousins surrounded the guy and basically threatened his life! They grabbed him by the shirt and were yelling at him and shaking him. The guy said that he never touched me and it's not illegal to say hi to someone. My dad forced the creep give him his wallet so that he could look at his ID and get his name. Then my dad threw him on the floor and said if he ever even looked at me again, he'd have both his knees broken.

After that I didn't see him for awhile -- about 6 weeks. Then he started in again. He must have thought that my dad wasn't serious. He tried to kiss me and I then I ran and he chased me into my office building at 9 a.m. in the morning on a crowded Manhattan street in broad daylight!!! I won't go into detail but my dad and cousins basically beat the crap out of him. They had his address from when they looked at his drivers license. After that, I never saw the guy again.

The point of my story is that the guy got MORE and MORE aggressive each time and he got worse each time something was done to him. So Val please be careful with this creep -- he may seem "harmless" now because it's over the phone but he may get aggressive once the police get involved. He's already proven that he's determined because he keeps calling after your hubby threatened him -- in fact, you said he got WORSE than before. Please carry pepepr spray on you (just to be safe) -- at that time, I even carried 2 box cutters. You never know when you might need it and I hope that you never do. But sweetie, you know the saying … better safe then sorry.

How scary! I would blow a whistle into the phone next time he calls

Val...For anyone wanting to call but BLOCK their number - here is info on it

Call Blocking The first way is to block the transmission on individual calls. Typically by punching *67 (depending on your telephone company) immediately prior to dialing the remainder of the phone number, you can block the sending of your phone number to the called phone. You need to prefix the phone number with *67 each time you want to block sending your phone number to the called party.

and Jen - GOOD FOR YOUR DAD ! Wow was that a scary story. I've been followed but never had a stalker - this is a real eye opener and we see women murdered EVERY DAY lost to these psychos - Jen - you were VERY LUCKY ! Hugs to you and Shake your dads hand for me !

One more thing I forgot to mention:

This guy knew my schedule - which meant that he was stalking me for a long time. If I worked over time and left work at 8 p.m. instead of my standard time (which was 5 p.m.), he'd be outside my job waiting for me. It was so frightening! These stalkers guys are good and they are PATIENT. That's why you must be very careful and always watch your surroundings Val. If something feels wrong, then is probably is. Sometimes I'd just get this creepy feeling and I'd look around and then spot him across the street just staring at me. Or I'd be having lunch and get this creepy feeling, then I'd spot him outside the restaurant looking in at me. So go with your gut feeling Val, trust yourself. I will PM you my phone number. Call me if you need ANYTHING at all, even if you just want to talk or vent. I know what you're going through sweetie. You're not alone.

Can't you get a restraining order against him? Did you google his number to get an address? the Police should be able to get an address from the cell phone company if it's a cell phone. What he is doing is against the law even if he hasn't threatened you.

I think I would change my number, and then just call everyone that you know to give them your new number.

OMG - he *just* called me again!

What the heck??!?!? - It's all I can do not to answer the phone by saying "JAILBAIT!"

I agree blow a whistle down the line really hard what a creep.

I agree
 

Get one of those air horns from the hardware store , you know the ones they take to football games..........than give it a blast right into the phone!!:D

You think this is a kid? Is that what you mean? If I thought it was a kid, I'd call his number back (not necessarily from my phone) and speak to a parent or whatever adult was available. Shoot, is his number a cell number? If not, google it and GO to his house and speak to them directly.

Actually, the more I think about it....I'd just change the number and be done with it.