Should I tell her mom or not about her My Space?
 

Okay!! I need some advise on what todo. I was playing on My Space today and a found my 17 yr old cousin profile. Her profile really confirmed somethings for me like she smokes, drinks, and she has a girlfriend. I am not to concerned with that smoking/drinking and the girlfriend well lets just say a I have pretty much thought she was homosexual anyways. What concerned me was the content and information about where she goes to school and work. I don't know what to do. Should I go to my 17 yr old cousin first or should I go straight to her mom?

None of the above about her personal choices regarding her sexual orientation, smoking or drinking.

but you could tell her to be more cautious about her personal identifying details like her school and work locations.

I agree with Stewies mom!! ;)

Personally, I think that all of the behaviors you mentioned are risky. I think that you should talk to her mom and let her read what you found on the Internet. Let the mom decide if she thinks she should have a talk with your cousin. As a mom, I would want to know.

Yeah, I would just warn her that it's dangerous. And remember, lots of kids make up stuff about themselves on My Space to sound cool.

Can you tell me how to find things on myspace? I know that my son has one, but he has assured me that it can't be viewed by the public, that it's invitation only and his friends have to email him to be able to see it. While I can see everything he has because I have his login and password I would like to know if the public can view it or not.. Thanks, oh and I would tell for sure. :)

With all due respect, I think you could possibly ruin a young girl's self esteem even more if you "tattle". She's almost an adult. Maybe you can talk to her like she's an adult and help her in any way you can?

There is a search button at the top. I seached for a persons name, and it came up. I am not to familier with My Space, but my understand is that the profiles are public and the messages are by invitation only.

I would talk to your cousin and just say you have heard so much bad press about My Space and she needs to be careful what she puts out there. My 20 year old dtr is on My Space all the time and she shows me some of the pics her and her girlfriends put on there and I told her they could be misread as you guys are trampy, the poses are somewhat flirtatious and she said Oh Mom don't worry! I didn't want to say too mich because she is a good kid and very open with me, but I do worry these kids just don't get how dangerous it can be. You may mention it to your Mom or Dad and have them talk to your cousins parent and see if they can with out revealing who told them, talk to her about it. I think as far a s a girlfriend, she should be the one to tell her parents when she's ready.JMO

You will have to register yourself because you can't search by name or email address without registering...or use someone's else's you know. Then search. If his profile is private when you find his listing....it is very very brief and tells you that his profile is private.

I completely agree! Its her personal life and if she chooses to drink, smoke, and be bisexual or whatever that is her business!

I don't you should go tell her mom. If I were your cousin, I wouldn't trust you, ever again.

You care about your cousin, so go talk to her. She's the one who's responsible for her actions, talk to HER. She's not 10 year old anymore, don't treat her like one. Talk to her like an adult.

Shes still a minor. If she were my daughter I would hope someone would tell me. I say tell the Mom.

I think at that age I would talk face to face. I'd tell her she gave out WAY too much personal info and if someone wanted to track her down they probably could...but the rest is her biz I agree.

I think I am going to go to my little cousin first. I am going to tell her I saw her My Space profile and that I am alittle concerned with how much info she has put on it. Hopefully she won't freak out.

Why shouldn't her parents know about the smoking/drinking/sexual preference? She is only 17!!!! I think you should let her know that you will be talking with her parents about this so she's not bum rushed but her parents should know. Too many people getting kidnapped/murdered and/or raped because of idiotic websites like myspace.com and due to their own irresponsibility. I went on there and it's practically a singles chat/porn site. I cancelled my account because I didn't want to be associated with that. I think you should definetely tell her parents. It's better if she's mad at you, than God Forbid kidnapped or worse.

You are so right about My Space, it has some very inappropriate stuff on there. I was shocked by what I saw on it. I cannot believe that the they allow some of that stuff. I really feel that her mom needs to know because I would want to know if it my dd. If I go to her like I said I was, I am scared she will just delete the profile before her mom sees it and deny everything that is posted on it. You know I hate being in situations like this. You try to do the right thing, but someone is always going to get hurt.

I think alot of people put too much information on My Space. My mums best friend has a son who has gone a little off the rails so she has told him to leave the house. He has a my space saying how he hates his mum and he smokes crack :( :mad: :( really couldn't believe it when I saw it. I told my mum about it though, she told her friend and now she is getting help for her son :( and they've sorted alot of their problems out

Here is a question. If something bad happens would you regret that you never told someone? That is always the question I ask people that are in this dilemma. The thing is that she is only 17 and not an adult yet, so it is illegal and dangerous for her to be drinking alcohol. It is responsible to tell an adult about the drinking. The most dangerous is if she is putting too much information about herself on that site. MANY young girls have gotten killed from people on the internet before. I think every parent should know if their child has a myspace account. They should be in view of it and even have the password to supervise that their child is only speaking to people he/she knows in real life. Someday hopefully she will realize that you are doing it because you care.

Amen!

Update!!!
 

Come to find out my little cousin's mom does know about the My Space profile and the girlfriend. They just did not let everyone else in the family know because they did not know how everyone was going to react. I told them I would have much rather be told then finding out on the internet. And if she is happy with this person and this is what she really wants than I am happy for her. I also mentioned that I really was not concerned with the girlfriend, but I was concerned about her putting to much information about herselves out there for everyone to see. I am so glad this all got worked out.

Actually you can make it so only your friends can view it. I've seen it on many accounts on there.

The younger people's accounts can only be viewed by people on their friends list. I am not sure what the age is though.

Go Straight To Mom!
 

I think speaking w/ the 17 year old won't do any good. She's already displayed lack of maturity and caution when it comes to such a powerful tool as the internet. I'd go to mom and let her deal w/ her daughter. What if you had been a stalker? Play that angle, oh and I'd only mention the security aspect of it. If mom wants to go check it out and see the other things, that's on her! :thumbup:

Tough spot. I remember being that age and I didn't want my parents to know my business. As a parent myself, now, I'd want to know. She could be headed down a dangerous path with the drinking and smoking and she may need help one day if she becomes an alcoholic. It's your call. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes.

I know myspace is really popular and I have a page for myself and the dogs, but I have learned you have to be extremely careful what you put on it. I personally do not put ANYTHING on my MySpace that I wouldnt want my Grandma or Grandpa to see (which is a lot because my grandpa is a preacher). I dont just do this because of what my family may think but for many other reasons. Its the WORLD WIDE WEB! You just ahve to be sooooo careful. Companies are now using myspace to screen employees using thier very own personal thoughts and information that they made public by putting it on myspace. This seems totally unfair but this is what can happen when you really put your whole personal life out there. You can be judged for a job and it looks so bad when you put stupid stuff on your myspace just to look "cool" or if you put other things on there that just might incriminate yourself. Im really not trying to be rude but so many of my friends have to tackiest stuff on their myspace pages.

You want another example? I put somewhere on my Myspace page what I did for a living and I said I own an online dog boutique called Tinkerbell's CLoset. Well next thing I know, I was googling my store name and my Myspace page pops up. Well I didnt have anything bad on it but I still never thought my customers might see my myspace page and I was a little embarrassed. So then I had to make sure it looked really professional and that there wasnt anything I thought anyone might judge me on because my business is my life(I took my pictures of Brad Pitt and Paul Walker off my page because it was a little cheezy:D ).
So bottomline you need to tell your cousin to be careful. Not just because her parents will read what she put on it, but because the whole world can see it and maybe she thought she didnt care if they did, but one day down the road she might care.

I know what I said above didnt really answer your original question which was wether or not to tell her mom. So to give my opinion on that: I live by strong morals and ethics and I hate seeing all the crazy things that teenagers do because they make all these crazy descisions that can have permanet affect on thier lives and they dont seem to care. I think when they act out it is a cry out. So yes I think you should say something to your cousin out of love for her. Tell her how you feel and if she doesnt try to fix things tell her mother. I know if that was my daughter I would want to know about her smoking and drinking and anything else going on.

Yeah but she's only 17. It's hard for kids to understand consequences at that age. And there are very serious consequences if she is doing those things. If she were my daughter I would want to know so I could talk to her about it. There are age restrictions for drinking and smoking for a good reason. And AMEN to all of the worries about murder, kidnapping, etc. It's a scary world out there.

Watch Date Line Saturday night, its about online predotors, I think it may be a rerun and i saw it the 1st time and was blown away by what I saw!
As a mom of a almost 16 yr old, i would want to know what my daughter was up to, even if your cousin is 17, her mother has the right to know. Drinking and smoking is just wrong, even at 17, she really needs to be educated on this stuff, I'm sure she has been told that the "stuff" is bad. But I would def tell her parents what this girl has been up to. If she lives under my roof she will go by MY rules!!