how much is to much punishment?
 

my son is 10 years old and got in trouble in school for calling a little boy gay last month. the priniple put him facing the wall for lunch and breakfast. i never said nothing because i felt he needed punished. this morning while taking him to school he told me he was still sitting at the wall and all the kids was making fun of him. i flew mad and went into the school in nearly tears and jumped all over the principle. this name calling was over a month ago and still being punished :mad: do you all think this punishment is to much or do you think he should still be punished? all kids call others names. thats the way kids are.

Most schools will have a set punishment for things. And they should have them written down in something like "behaviour managment policies". I would ask to see their "rules" and make sure they are following them with your son. I doubt that any punishment spans over a month! :eek:

did the principal set any sort of time limit on the punishment? did he show any sort of remorse? did the principal say why he was still on punishment? was this "last month" as in a week ago? or "last month" as in a month ago?

i don't have any kids of my own, but when i was kid, my parents never set a time limit on punishment. i just got punishment until i expressed remorse and expressed that i understood what i did wrong and how i should react differently next time.

all kids may call other names, but personally i don't think it's acceptable excuse it as "that's the way kids are". if you haven't had a discussion with your son about it, maybe it's time to talk to him about why it's not right to call others names. as a kid who grew up being made fun of and called many nasty names due to my ethnicity, immigrant status, accent, naivety, what i wore, what i ate for lunch, how i looked, etc etc, i can tell you that it's very hurtful, and it stays with a person much longer than childhood.

this school has a paddle policy and i refuse to sign it because i feel no one has a right to hit someone elses child. i think it's just wrong. i signed the paddle policy before with my other son because they gave me hard hard time about it. the principle paddled him so hard he bruised him and there was nothing i could do. so i will never allow that again :mad:

when this happened, yes i did talk with my son and he told me and the little boy he was sorry. i still felt he needed punished because name calling does hurt, not physically but it hurts.

Oh My Gosh! I thought paddle poilcies were from years ago! We arn't even allowed to hit our own kids here, never mind allowing someone else do it for us. That is so...weird...I am in shock. Well, I guess you learn new things every day! However, regardless of what punichment is being given (we obviously have different punichments) you should discuss it with your principal - being puniched for something that happened a month ago it harsh.

yes i was raised in michigan and your not allowed to spank your children their either and when i moved here, it totally shocked me to to see a paddle policy. never knew that existed anymore. yes i made a appointment for a meeting.

I think the punishment should have ended by now. My school has a paddle policy too but I didn't sign one and they still paddle my kids. The other day one of my sons brought home a graded paper that needed my signautre and I had questions about it so I didn't give it back to my son and told him I would bring it to school. He got paddled because he didn't bring it back even though he told his teacher I was bringing it back. It made me mad. I am fed up with the schools around here and am about ready to home school my kids.

OMG :eek:
This type of punishment is not execptable!!!!! :thumbdown
As for your other son and the name calling this is too much too! :thumbdown
Yes be repimanded on the day but not to be carried on any longer!
You have every right to be bloody cross i am bloody cross just reading your posts :mad:

So, this wasn't a one time deal...standing against a wall? He still has to stand there everyday??? :confused:

wow i can't believe they still paddle your kids and you didn't sign the paper. i would throw a fit. they should have called you about the paper if they didn't believe him. i thought about homeschooling too but my kids want to be with their friends. i think the kids they pick on is the ones that the parents don't donate all there time at the school. i don't have time to be at that school all the time and make their jobs easier. my job here at home is hard enough.

no not after this morning. i went out there and demanded him off the wall. this has been going on over a month. my son cried on the way to school this morning. he didn''t want to go because everyone was making fun of him. the funny thing is, these to boys are friends and still playing together. i thought this was over a long time ago. my son just told me this morning we still has to be at the wall.

By allowing your son to continue to be at the wall for a comment said a month ago (for which he has apologized to the other boy), in my opinion, the school has promoted nothing other than an opportunity for the "table to be turned" - now YOUR son is the one being taunted, teased, laughed at, and made fun of. I do not blame you one bit for being so livid over this!! Any school should have punishment to "fit the crime". Why is it your son has to face the wall every day now for a month but yet in most schools, when a child gets in a fight, he/she is suspended anywhere from 2-5 days and then it's over? In my opinion, your son should have had his punishment for one day and then be done with it. Heck, my youngest (he's 13) had to serve an hour's detention after school for talking back to one of his teachers - after he served that hour, his punishment was over. Talking back to a teacher is more severe than two kids calling each other names. Get a copy of the school district's policy on punishment and what is allowed by the school board. Did the principal set the punishment at his own will or was it designated as a fair punishment by the school board? Until you get a copy of that policy in your hands, you won't know the answer to that. But one thing is for sure, your son has more than served his time for the crime!!! Please keep us posted!

okay, so i may not be popular for saying this, and i'm just biased from my personal experience, but i think sometimes schools/parents do not reprimand kids enough for doing bad things. and sometimes the focus is too much on the punishment and not enough emphasis on why the behavior is bad and should not be repeated. in elementary school i had the same set of kids tease and torment me, and the school's policy of benching for a day does absolutely no good at all. i remember wishing they'd be benched longer or gotten detention longer just so they can at least leave me alone for the duration of their punishment.

in this case, whatever the reasoning is for your son's punishment being extended for a month, i don't think it's acceptable for the school to tolerate other kids teasing him while he's being punished. it seems to me the school should deal with those children in the same manner your son was dealt with.

I think that you are right in being mad. I don't think that your son should be punished for over a month. That fact that kids are making fun of your son and nothing has happened to them is not fair. I would ask the prinicpal why that is acceptable. I think your son apoligizing and maybe a week, at most, of sitting at the wall at lunch would have been appropriate. As for the paddeling. I can't believe that this still happens in schools. I would not want ANYONE touching my child.

I agree. The son's punishment shouldn't be to be made fun of. THIS is why kids don't want to go to school!

What century is this principal living in? In our school instead of punishing someone who did they they would educate them. Make him apologize, talk to him about how it feels to be called a name, etc. Your son doesn't learn anything by sitting facing a wall and it only then singles him out for ridicule. I would sit down with the principal and discuss what he hopes to accomplish by secregating your son. And yes, even if he wants to just punish, that seems excessive.

Way off base!!!! I worked at a school for 14 years, and this would NEVER happen!
I have to tell both teresa20051969 & kitty, it's time for both of you to have a meeting with the School Board!!!! There is NO WAY, I would or anyone should put up with this crap!!!!!!!
OK NOW I'm MAD!!!!!
Good thing I don't live out there, Your Principal's would see a
different kind of angry parents. If you don't stand up to the schools
they will keep on doing things like this, because no one stops them :eek: :eek: :eek:
Good Luck to you :2hearts2:

PADDLE POLICY???? :eek: WTH!! Why in the world would the school be allowed to do that? If they did it on the street, they'd go to jail!!

I can talk, because I don't have any children... :p I understand the need for discipline, but a paddle? :eek: I'm having trouble grasping that... I'm really shocked that anyone would allow that.

And punishing someone for a whole month!!! Good thing I don't have kids because it sounds like I would be fighting with the school system and embarrassing my kids on a regular basis! I can only imagine that if you do complain they would take it out on the kids, too.

I am definitely going to have a hard time when I have kids and they go to school! Some of the punishment and rules are so ridiculous! I will probably home school my kids.

Are these public schools? I work for a public school in an urban area and we aren't even allowed to TOUCH these kids!!!

:thumbup: God, I was just typing this. Isn't this America? What the hell? Sounds like you need to switch schools immediately. They're still paddling kids? I am in shock. That would never ever fly in Chicago. Remind me never to move to Tennessee...

I agree w/ hunniebunnie that kids shouldn't be allowed to call names and let it slide, but facing the wall? How is a kid going to ever learn anything about WHY their behavior is unacceptable? Sounds like there is a serious lack of communication going on in that world.

Umm...this seems more like humiliation than a form of punishment.
There is NO WAY I would allow my child to be treated in such a
way. Heads would be rolling! I have been a parent for 27 years
and I thought I had seen everything but this takes the cake. And
as for the paddle...Let's just say you would be bailing me out of
jail if anyone ever touched my child in such an invasive and again
humiliating way.

Wow, I'm in shock! :eek:
I'd be taking my kids out of that school asap.
Paddleing and month long punishments are called abuse :mad:
That school should be shut down. :thumbdown

The more I think about this the madder I get!!!!
If I was you I would call CPS, the School Board
and the News! Someone has to put a stop to this.
You didn't sign that paper! It's against the Law
what they are doing! They need to accountable
for their actions!!! I am in no way sue happy,
but in this case, our Attorney would make sure
my kid would have money in the bank!
At the very least I would tell who ever paddled my
kid to bend over, it's their turn!!!!!

i CANNOT believe what i am reading. that is ridiculous! i am in college right now training to become a teacher. if i EVER saw a child being punished in that sort of way or being paddled, i would definately do something about it... it makes me sick to hear how your son was treated and that there is still a paddle policy in America! wow... i believe in positive reinforcement, not punishment. poor kids. it almost makes me want to move out of wisconsin and teach in a state where there still is a paddle policy, just so i can make a difference and change it. UGH... :thumbdown

I like to comment on this subject, first of all I am a parent of two wonderful college age children. I have worked as a paraprofessional for the board of ed in elementary and middle schools. In the northeastern part of the country what your principal is doing is totaly out of line. No child should be paddled, phycially that is against the law.If this was in NYC he would be brought up on charges. Secondly teachers do have do watch what they say today for it is considered corperate punishment. I do believe in punishing children < not phycially> if they are wrong and that punishiment should be reinforced at home, but your principle is way out of line here. Your son is a mere child of 10 yrs.old and he apoligized and was doing punishment for it. ENOUGH.. Don't you have a board of directors or someone above your principle whom you can speak to.Don't let anyone hit your child or children, no one has that right.

You are sooooooo right!!!!!
Parents wake up!!!! Stand up for your children!!!
Don't let anyone do this!! If you do, it will never stop,
and you are teaching your childern it's ok to do this!!!!

IT'S NOT OK!!!! THEY ARE WAY OFF BASE!!! IT'S AGAINST THE LAW!!!!

YES, in OK many schools even have a little clause that reads "After three (Yess I said THREE) swats (separate instances in same day), a parent will be contacted." AFTER??? I would be PSYCHO mommy if somebody paddled my girls....so I found a school that handles discipline in a less barbaric manner...
There are also still school districts here that do not allow any dancing...no dances..at all, not for fundraisers, benefits, or just general socialization...

this is rediculous! at my school, they talk to you about it. They make sure you know what you did, have you apologize, etc. No one there would ever lay a hand on one of the students. Its against the law, first of all. We (we being kids) should be able to feel safe and secure at school. In both of these situations in this thread, that doesn't sound like the case at these schools. And a punishment going on for a month is insane. A day or 2 yes, but a month!? That's just wrong. All of this is wrong. Wake up people, its 2006! :mad: