Yucky situation
 

Hi all
Been along time. A situation came up in work last week.
My boss (and I use the term loosely )..took advantage of an opportunity to rudely stare at my boobs..directly, head on , when I had to come into his office to discuss some work. Of course I am extremely repulsed by this cheap, low classed , abusive action. I had been planing on leaving the job and of course will still be leaving in a couple of weeks. But I would like to give this creep the business or a piece of my.mind before I go. He is about 20 to 25 yrs younger than me and a fat slob...
Any ideas....how should this be handled ( as it is I will be wearing.my coat anytime I go into his office).
Thanks
Tina

Welcome back Tina, sorry it's under these circumstances. I understand where you're coming from, it is disgusting and degrading to a woman, been there myself it was by a man much younger then myself and not anyone's boss, a nice looking young man and still not flattering to me. I however did not give him a piece of my mind nor did I quit my high paying job. I am very fast with my mouth but chose not to embarrass the young fool. In your shoes I would wear a sweater, jacket or my coat if I had to go in his office again. As for giving him a piece of your mind!!!!! I know you would feel better to do so, I myself choose to ignore pigs, don't wanna give them the satisfaction of letting them know they made me very uncomfortable (reverse phycology is my motto). Hope the other gals can be more helpful to you.

Matese.....
Good to hear from you...I can always trust the opinions of our group. Thanks for your opinion.I will hold off on spitting in his face but I do have a couple of good things to do before leaving.....like when he has a deadline on some work I won't come in for a day or two....hahaha to him....a little stress will do a lot for him.

I am also on to see if I can find a warm snow suit for my rescue Gwent. GiGi my Yorkie who will be 16 in January is doing good (with the usual aging ailments) she has all her warm weather clothes.

Also wondering if Chatties mom is still making silk harnesses....if you or anyone knows, I am interested in buying.

Still taking suggestions on my yucky situation....

Hugs,
Tina

Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving......:turkey2::turkey2::turkey2: gobble gobble gobble


Tina

lol, I like the deadline tactic lol, and yes I believe it's Chatties mom that still is making the harnesses, she was on the forum not to long ago. How wonderful Gigi is 16 yo, my Matese was with me until she was 17 yo.

You are so lucky to have had her for 17yrs.....but all the same it goes to fast and never long enough. She is with my Pucci guy at the bridge playing till we get there. He was 45 short of 16....not enough time at all.

Well at least we will get a good laugh out of this....I may just post on the days I don't go in, lol!

Have a great week,
Tina

Sorry to hear about the harassment issue at work! But congrats on leaving soon, hopefully to a better workplace. :)

Like Matese (she always gives the best advice, doesn't she? ;) ), I'd probably skip the 'getting back at him'. It's always best to leave a workplace on a good note. The subtle way of getting him stressed with deadlines is funny though. Hehe...

Hi Canana..
Yes Mates had some good suggestions. ...I took off Wednesday cause there was some work to get done so.just in case he was hoping or expecting to have it finished last week , I decided to take off...lol....:eyetearss
Round one, lol....I will.probably resign end of month....my busy season starts in February, so I will not be there to.help.him, he will have to look for someone else....lol...:eyetearss

Tina

I love it and your plan lol.

When I was planning to retire I told no one, I headed up my own credit and collection dept. the office female manager / payroll bkpr. had nothing to with me or my dept. she was supposed to know every dept. but didn't want the extra work, she was a horrible mean B$#%H. At year end she had to do the fiscal closing. I stayed for the Christmas party to get my nice juicy bonus Dec. 17th and never went back lol, I wouldn't take her calls so she was faxing me all day lol. I was close friends with the company dispatcher and took only his calls, he said the b%$#H was going to have a nervous break down, no money was being collected and her fiscal closing was way behind.

Karma a wonderful thing lol

I was close friends with the company dispatcher and took only his calls, he said the b%$#H was going to have a nervous break down, no money was being collected and her fiscal closing was way behind.

Karma a wonderful thing lol[/QUOTE]

You can say that again. ...that was a great move..she.sounds like a real witch. ..she sure got what she deserved. If I have the nerve I will stay with this place into January. ..the closer it is to February the more of a pain in the butt for them, lol.

Hugs
Tina

Go for it, the closer to the busy season the better, causes much stress lol.

Lol....sounds like a good idea...,i would like to stay till second week in January...this way I get 2 weeks off before everything starts to heat up... There is only one thing to make me leave earlier....if I get busy sooner and also the fact that I am so repulsed by this creep and the other men (or mice, rats) that I would love to drop out now.
But realistically speaking money is necessary so the longer I can hang in there the better. But we got a good thing going and he /they will get theirs soon, lol!

I will keep you updated....:thumbs up :)
Hugs
Tina

Hang in there

I wanted to retire in Oct. but thought why should I loose out on my nice juicy Christmas bonus, it KILLED me to stay with this witch always trying to trip me and my staff up, it was verbal fighting everyday, all day. But I knew if I left just before the end of the year she would go ballistic because she would have to cover my position which she choose not to get involved with, and she had her fiscal closing. It worked out perfect for me lol.

When I didn't show up for work that Monday and didn't take any calls, she had the state police come to my house to see if I was ok, I had never missed a day of work in 10 years ROFL.

Stay as long as you possibly can, but leave when the work is at the heaviest.
Give no notice if possible or short notice if you have to.

My plan exactly. ..either 5pm or 10am...if I come in at all.
Lol.....to bad for them....all 4....heehee. ...while I only work for 2 bosses...I am sure all 4 were planning on getting some of their work done...some sneaky way.
Heehee
Hugs
Tina

Matese...
That witch must have really been in shock when you did show up....LOL. Good for you....after 10 yrs you deserved to sit back and laugh. Well if she wasn't such a witch things would have been different, so maybe she learned a lesson.....you probably did her some good in the long run, lol.
I at this place a short time...since September. ....it was sorta a summer job for me but if things were different it would be harder for me to leave but given the situation I am.history and so are they.

Hugs,
Tina

Just another thought - if possible try to have someone else around when you are with him.

Will be back shortly....it is really getting good around here...today he thought it would be a good idea to ask me to answer the phone.....HAHAHA.
Of course I ignored it....Christmas party is Monday during work hours or I would not have come in today....It will be such a pleasure to tell him SO LONGGGGGGG SUCKER!!!!

LOL...be back in a few.

Hugs.
Tina

It's really tough working in a place where one is not happy or at least work with nice ppl. It's terrible to have a job you just dread going to. I have had only 3 jobs in my working career. All private business in the food industry , one I was at for 25 years, Owner retire and business ended, another I worked there 20 years. All jobs I worked with all men, there were women in the company in other depts. And worked close with the owner. This last one was a nightmare lol, it was a small company, the office manager was the only DIVA, any female that came in she badgered them and they would leave. I was use to working in tough company's, with tough men and became tough, in the food industry business you gotta be tough lol. So when I joined this company changes had to be made. I sat down with the owner and told him what needed to be changed, he supported my changes, the "DIVA" went nuts lol as did the salesmen, inventory guy, warehouse supervisor and dispatcher. So the war was on lol. In a few months all saw my changes were for the best and the money was coming in, now I had the support of most, sales not so much lol, and never from the DIVA, she fought with me everyday and when I got my staff she fought with them. I do not back down and came into that company with "tough skin". I am / was a company woman, I had a mission for that company and I was going to complete it. It wasn't easy for me to go to work everyday knowing I would be fighting everyday ALL day but I was not going to be bullied out of that company by anyone. The more I stood up to her the madder she would get lol. My mission was completed, my changes were kept, there was now a staff of ppl that was needed to keep the money coming in, and it was time for me to leave. And that is just what I did, and left her hanging lol. I am no longer in touch with the dispatcher, he was on the verge of quitting after working there 15 years. I would LOVE to know if the DIVA survived when I left lol, I heard she was not holding up very well lol.

If your boss is not in a pvt closed off office, it would be nice if someone could be with or close to you when you have to deal with him. Since you had plans of this not being your forever job, do just what you were hired to do and nothing more. Stay as long as you can, remember, once you are gone you will never see this pig or the others ever again.

Matese, I love how you took charge of your own career! And so adaptable!

I am a little more passive. I need to learn from you.

May I ask...
What would you do, if say, your male boss used your performance review as an opportunity to ask "what are your plans in the next 10 - 15 years; do you plan to be a mom?".

Well I am old, but I had a boss ask me that once, because back in those days they did not admit women into medical professions because the thinking was that they would just drop out eventually to have babies.

When they ask were I planned to be in 5 to 10 years my answer was “successful”. I also added that I thought a lot of the folks at the interview would eventually be working for me I predicted.

A great deal of that became true, but that was not the point.

Think outside the box!

Well, I answered him in terms of work related future. But he then pressed, whether I planned to be a mom...

I guess I might ask him then different he was or,planned to be a dad.

Haha..oh dear. Well everyone in our department knows he has a wife a daughter and two cats. He frequently talks about his personal life. But that doesn't mean I like to...

But really, I don't think for the life of me that I could pull off snarky comments like that.

I didn't think in todays society a boss "could" ask such a question, I LOVE
yorkiemini response “successful” shows a strong confident person, but you already tried getting around answering his question. If I were pushed into having to answer such a question, I would say I am focused on my career and haven't thought about having children at this point of my life, OR you could say that's sorta a personal question and I haven't given it much thought. You don't have to be snarky in answering. What you wanna do is get your toe in the door, show the company what your talents are. Sounds like that is just what you have done. I really do think that is a personal question to ask a lady.

For sure it is risky. Actually he is not allowed to ask you that type of question so might not be a problem asking him to stay within the legal interview parameters.
If he asks about children (which he is not allowed legally to ask) you could just say you are certainly available for some reasonable over time or travel.

That speaks to your availabity for the job which is probably what he is getting at.

Just try to keep the conversation on the job. But I do admit to being an in your face person so would not consider an answer to be snippy when putting it back on the interviewer.

In the end you have to be comfortable with it.

Oh forgive me, I wasn't very clear. This is an existing boss. ;)

I have read countless articles saying that it's illegal to ask during an interview. But, what about when a current boss who's asking this? I mean, it wasn't even a casual conversation. It was at the end of a work performance review. I was bothered by it and was taken aback, but wasn't able to react fast with better answers that you guys have. I was only able to come up with, "yea, maybe later" and shrugged it off and focused back on work related topics.

Sounds like for some unknown reason you were ambushed:D
But now you are ready!

Matese...
Sounds like you had a very big job with a lot of responsibility that you and your bosses knew.you could handle very well. That lady (and i use the word very loosely ) was very jealous of your talents....she was obvious and in doing so got a good taste.of her.own medicine. .....and rightfully so.....koodos to you! :0).
Yes this job was a summer job for me but did pay.some of the bills....now I can move.on to better but much busier grounds. The work will be pretty much the same but on a much larger scale. My policy is always leave a firm in a professional manner and at the.appropriate time...never leaving them in a bad position but this place has taken full advantage from the inception by offering me a very low rate...i.did not expect that low rate to be the measure on how they would also treat me but it was.
Besides a little money ( not minimum rate,lol) it was close to.home and being GiGi is up in age I like to be close to home when i.go to work.
Well fast forward to the present, the time has come to deal with them as they have dealt with me.....and so with the help of my.group of very.intelligent women we have devised our exit plan,lol. The Xmas party is Monday and once that is over as far as my job performance anything goes, when I want to come in I will and when I say.it's over it is....and we all know the rest. Lol.
Have an interview today my pay rate is pretty high so I don't expect everyone to make an offer...one.of the.companies I worked for last yr asked.me to.do some work.for them this yr and I said yes....I still have more time to fill in so still interviewing.
Btw.my little GiGi will be 16 in January. ...I love that little peanut so much...groomed her.yesterday bath for her and Gwen (my rescue ) today...that's half the.house clean, lol.
Hugs
Tina

Great! Sounds like you have a plan that works for you and are aware of the situation. Congrats to Gigi on being such a special little one!

On an interview I would not ever answer any questions that were not business related and on the.job I am the same.....no Personal questions. ....I don't even let them know how my weekends are spent....when they say how was your weekend, I say fine.and that's it. And I don't ask any personal questions either.