He doesn't want me but doesn't want to be without me either.
 

Any words of encouragement? Advice? Has anybody been in this situation?

This about an ex (I know I know) we started talking again and he says he loves me and wants to be with me but he doesn't want a relationship with me because we are different and don't work together.

He doesn't tell me how we are different or a specific reason, but I know for a fact the reason is a new woman he just started dating.

He wants me as a friend with benefits, he basically wants me to be there for him and text him all day, have sex and all that but without being together. Like an emotional and sex crutch until he gets that from the other girl... And to feed his ego maybe?

He kept stringing me along, telling me to go on dates but he wants to keep seeing the new girl as well.

Until I just gave him and ultimatum that either we are back together or we are friends and thats it. He chose to stay friends. But he still wants me in his life because he can't let me go, saying he loves me and can't be without me.

I told him I need time and that please dont text me for awhile and I will do the same and he got really sad and upset ....

I dont understand if he loves me so much and can't be without me... Why are we not together?

Anyways I blocked him from my phone because I want to start my healing process and forget about him...

Can someone talk to me :(. I dont want to do this alone. This is my first day without him

Oh Sweetie, I don't have any advice for you. I have been married to the same man for over 40 years but re read what you just typed and you can see what a toxic relationship this is. You deserve better than he seems capable of giving you. By blocking him is a good start. I hope you have some family close to help you through this.

This is going to be hard to hear but it is the truth. You are doing the right thing by leaving him He is using you and has no intention of ever giving you a long term relationship. If he loves YOU he would not want to be anywhere near another woman. If he comes near you, run the other way or you will get hurt. He will say everything that you want to hear in order to get what he wants - sex. That is all he wants. The first step is the hardest but you have taken it. Now keep on walking and don't look back. There is a bright future out there for you and it does not involve him.

This titty baby has come right out and told you all he wants from you is ...........you KNOW what! If he is going to treat you like a prostitute ("friends with benefits" all cleaned up!), and this is something that you find attractive in a relationship, at LEAST get paid for it! He is insulting you and shucking and jiving and grinning while he insults your personal integrity and your code of values! What an insult!!! Tell him if he wants a "hoe" it will cost him $500.00/date, not a dime less, for 4 hour + dinner date with benefits at the end of the evening. Tell him can add an additional $180.00/hour over 4 hours......what an insult to your integrity and your character.....that scum bag! Tell him if he wants a relationship with a hoe you are more than happy to oblige him, but it will cost him! Tell him you wonder if his new girlfriend would appreciate you being there for him just for sex....suggest you discuss it with her and get HER input! AND THEN STICK TO YOUR GUNS!!! This two bit jerk insulted you and thought you would not even catch it!!!! Run, run like the wind from this POS!

I'm really glad that I blocked him, no more texts from him trying to get me to go sleep with him because he misses me and loves me lol ... BUT he doesn't want a relationship.

I told him: "Our relationship failed, that's fine, but I'm not going from a girlfriend to a booty call, I have standards and I won't lower them. When I think about you in the future I want to think about an ex that was incompatible with me, I don't want to think about how I ended up being a sex toy"

And he starts telling me "but life is short we can have sex while we are single and when someone gets commited then we stop. LOL because I love you blah blah and we should take advantage of the connection we have...

Omg I kept telling him no and no, I won't be his temporary girlfriend until he finds someone else.

Btw the a**hole tells me that he falls asleep after 8pm and thats why he doesnt reply at night, but I've gone to his house after 8 and he's not there, and then the next day, he tells me sorry I fell asleep on my couch hahaha

I don't stalk anyone but I needed to see with my own eyes that he's lying, keeping me on a string for sex....

So he's blocked from everything, iphone, facebook, email ....

Keep him blocked. Yorkiemom is right. He is asking you to be his ho. Oh hell no!

He is an ex for a reason. There is NO reason for you to keep any type of relationship with this person. It's a toxic relationship whether it is romantic or platonic. He says he wants to "stay friends" so he can still have power over you. Keep him away. He can go F himself. I had an ex that was very over controlling. He wanted to remain friends afterwards and all he wanted to do was brag about his new gf. How smart she was, how rich her family was, blah blah blah. I finally realized he was just trying to control me and put me down to make himself feel better. He can go F himself too.

Hey, is this the guy you were talking about a few months back?

This guy?
http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/off...ful-names.html

If it's the same guy then he can DEF go F himself.

Oh I never heard from this guy again. He kept trying with me unti april until I decided to block him because he wouldn't leave me alone.

Oh yes, run, run like the wind!
This guy has no respect for you and is a user of the first order!

He sounds soooo manipulative. I agree with Jay... run like the wind from this loser.

You go girl...block him and keep on blockin' him!! That's what a strong, confident, independent, self-respecting woman would do - and you're doing it. He's very clear in his messages to you, in that he just wants a bed buddy. You deserve better, period. You're worth SO much more than that!

Thanks for all the advice, all of you can see his controlling manipulative ways ... My friends said the same thing about the control ... It's like everyone sees it except me. I was completely blinded by feelings and I was being strung along without knowing about it. In hopes we were going to be back together.

It's been 2 days since we last talked, and everything started to get more clear now. :)

I'm now seeing this whole situation from a third party perspective. It's hard to believe that the man that once saw me as relationship worthy, wants to take me to his family, takes me on dates, he now wants a booty call and nothing else.

How to get rid of him.

The Gray Rock method of dealing with psychopaths : Lovefraud.com – sociopaths, psychopaths, antisocials, con artists, bigamists

He likes to have control over me. He feeds off the drama and I'm just an ego boost. He wants to feel like I'm there waiting for him in the shadows.

As soon as I want to disappear he tries to get me back using mind games.


Even the last time we talked and I ask him not to text me until I do. He asked me not to block him. I said that I wouldn't block him because he was going to get angry. He wants to leave an open window to communication so when days go by and he doesn't hear from me, then he could text me, test the waters and see if he still in control.

That's why I blocked him, everytime I start to get better he pulls me in again, and then he changes his mind when I'm there again....