Emotional/mental ...labeled....
 

I know many of my dear friends on here, and in real life, share various forms of emotional disorders....some folks like to refer to them as emotional disorders while others only understand them as mental disorder.

I have been having a very heavy battle with it lately as I live with controlled PTSD everyday...meaning its there and I deal with it everyday...but in addition I am now dealing Seasonal Associative Disorder (SAD)...regardless of what each of us is "labeled" I know many of us "deal" with it on a daily basis and perhaps a place to vent with folks who already care about you might not be so bad...

care to share? What are you doing about your condition? Therapy, medicines? What has worked and what hasn't?

How does it affect your daily life?

My depression was brought on by a cancer diagnosis. Not many people know how dark things were for me, and it saddens me and embarrasses me to admit it, but I had a suicide attempt because of the depression. I decided I didn't need medications, hell at one point, I even decided to check myself out of the hospital AMA and that I didn't need chemo or radiation either. And in the midst of all this, my husband left me and filed for divorce. This of course made the depression worse.

To me, depression isn't a label. It's an illness, just like cancer or diabetes. If you had cancer or diabetes, you would seek treatment. You would have surgery and chemo and radiation for the cancer and you would take insulin for the diabetes. Depression is no different. In diabetes, your pancreas quits working to make the insulin your body needs. In depression, that little part of your brain quits working that makes the serotonin your body needs.
Taking medication for depression is no different that taking insulin for diabetes.

I'm glad to say that with medication, counseling and a whole lot of support from friends on YT, in real life and a few select family members, I am not depressed, there have been no suicide attempts, and DH and I are on the mend. Things still come up, but I've learned better coping tools, and I've learned to ask for help BEFORE I need it. I know what signs to look for to tell me I'm getting depressed and either need to adjust some meds or talk to my dr or counselor and seek advice from them.

You are not alone! This was the hardest thing for me to wrap my mind around. There are other people who feel just as bad or worse for the same or different reasons. I felt like the only person in the world with this problem and thought I was going to have to figure it out for myself. Don't be afraid to talk to someone, and if they don't listen, talk to someone else. Ask for help!

Im bipolar. It surfaced after my mom died and I had a major breakdown. I used to go to therapy yrs ago and I went through yrs trying to find the right meds for me. I am glad I finally did and havent had an episode in yrs. I dont have some of the symptoms of bipolar like racing thoughts or delusional thinking but I can make bad decisions and I have problems sleeping that meds help me with

Michelle, thank you for sharing your story, it is truly amazing to me that you continue to trudge forward in such positive and inspiring ways. However; we woman are special like that! Thank you, thank you, thank you...for being you!

I'm a Beeaatch most days once the first snow hits. Mainly when we close the pool until the day we open it. I snap easily, gain weight, short tempered. I always feel sooooo bad! I don't do anything in particular for it tho. Kind of deal with it until spring. I need to move to a warmer climate year round!

i havent decided what i am yet...and honestly nor have i snapped.....YET. but i feel it coming on. really strong the depression can be strangulating. my dh will at somepoint not be able to walk...and ill be ft work..my side which i love and crave to have and the chores..which we all know never end. on top of all the other stress and crap that rains down. i know we all do it just some handle it much better and even get off on it. but it feels like being alone or doing it all by myself and that is very wearing. most days i just pretend to get by. when pink says are you just getting by....tell me are just getting by by by . yup thats me. i just wish you all peace and happiness within urself. including me. u gotta love and cherish you first. to be strong enough for anything else. i wanna fight.

I was diagnosed with depression at 8 and talked to a therapist but not on a normal bases back then I also believe I had anxiety back then to because I would refuse to go to school massively bad (not just the regular mom I don't wanna go to school) and even locked my mom out of the car when she took me to school once it was bad and we moved and she thought it would help but it didn't really but after that year I did decently until 6th grade then the whole having to go to different classes and a whole different school was rough on me and I barley went to school I would seriously have stomach aches and everything and again I think that was anxiety and some how I passed until 8th grade and that's when things got worse and I started cutting and got bad bad depressed and my mom took me to the hospital for attempting suicide and they put me in a day program where my mom would drop me off every morning and pick me up every afternoon and got me on some antidepressants but I become pretty attached to some of the other girls because they were people my age (sorta I was the youngest they accepted in the program) who understood me and when one of my friends got admitted to stay in the part of the program where you can't go home and then another was kicked out I was so upset I went home and cut my self worse then ever and they admitted me for the weekend then I eventually went home and home schooled the rest of the year. Then the next year we did private school but I still had the same problems and went back to the cutting and was back in the day program then we went back to homeschooling and I finished the homeschooling a year before I would have normally graduated and my mom wanted to make sure I was able to do college if i wanted to so i went and took the test for my GED. I was unable to get a job due to my anxiety that gradually got worse over the years so finally applied for disability and got it. In the last couple years I developed ocd which I use to try and cope with my anxiety. Then recently when we started the moving thing I started getting panic attacks and those now pop up sometimes. I go to a doctor who takes care of my depression meds, anxiety meds, ocd meds and an emergency med for my panic attacks. Then I go to a therapist weekly except the days I cannot do anything but pretty much take care of Callie. My family thinks I have a slight form of Autism. If I didn't have Callie there would be days I never get out of bed.

Thanks for starting this thread!

I've been diagnosed with major depression. I believe looking back I have had depression on and off even while growing up..but back then my family's motto was "pull up your boot straps" and move on. My first episode came after 9-11. It was almost a shock to my body and I couldn't stop reading or watching news pieces about it. I ended up in therapy and on medication. It lifted after a year or so and so I stopped taking my medication. Then in 2007 my best friend's husband died and work issues cropped up. Again started therapy and medication. Lost insurance soonafter due to the depression causing me to miss a ton of work so quit my medication. Then in 2010 moved. Quite soon after my move I lost my Samoyed to an lllness, 2-17 year old cats from old age and my special little Lola in accident...couple that w an aging parent who is "losing it" a hurtful break up and extremely emotional time at work...and guess what...yep it reared its ugly head again! Back in to therapy and on medications. It sucks when it hits...I can't sleep or I feel like I can't get enough sleep its hard to concentrate and I could cry at anything. I've had to educate my family about medication...my mom still says those pills are going to make you commit suicide...but I feel very fortunate...I've never had to be hospitalized and the worst truly that happened to me was getting fired from a job. I feel fortunate in that my line of work (child protection) has educated me in mental health issues--however I also know because that is a very demanding emotional line of work that I need to take care of myself even more so. Im not afraid to get into therapy or take medications...I just need ro remind myself that just because im feeling well doesn't mean I can quit taking the medications! I also try to eat healthy, exercise, get plenty of rest, make sure I have hobbies and take time off from work. I also am so thankful for my yorkies and other pets...even on my darkest days I know they are dependent on me and I need to feed them potty them and play w them so they don't allow me to just stay in bed!!

Has anyone ever heard of HSP (Highly Sensitive Person)?

I think this is me. I read through a ton of info on it, and I'm almost positive that I am a highly sensitive person. Which is maybe what I am trying to 'label' for myself, some explanation for how I feel all the time.

I'm easily overwhelmed, overstimulated. I crave quiet, when I'm alone, I don't turn on the TV, radio, nothing that makes noise. Im exhausted by the end of the day. I can usually tell when something is wrong with someone and I'm usually right. I have very vivid dreams and a sense of de'ja vous often, I get short lived aches & pains in different areas of my body, I cut people out of my life who make me feel icky (they turned out to be 'unhealthy' people and toxic to me), I totally can't stand clutter, fussy decorations in the house, I want clean counters, clean lines when decorating, symmetrical, I have stomach aches all the time, I have mood swings and hate being asked 20 questions in a row.

Anyways, to me, this is a prime example of a 'label' when it's not a condition, being highly sensitive is WHO you are. It comes with traits of it's own.

No one is here to judge anyone else. You know the old sayin' "Don't pass judgement until you walk a mile in someone else's shoes"

Wow I feel for you guys, I never realized what so many of you are going through, kuddos to you all for working so hard at it.

I am lucky since I have never had anything close to what I would say was a panic attack or a bout of depression, but it surrounds me as both my sister's and my DH's family have severe problems. I admit that I have a hard time understanding why they just can't get a grip and I am sure you all have people in your life that feel that way, but I am now realizing that people just can't always get a grip and much of this is hereditary and seems to get worse with age. My BIL is bipolar and tried to kill himself twice, his brother was BP as well as delusional and had to live in a group home later in his life, their mom and some of their other siblings have varying degrees of mental issues as well. My DH's family is the same. My husband is extremely high functioning but went through bouts of anxiety and panic attacks and now takes some meds that I wish he could get off. I say that because I know his lifestyle contributes to the anxiety problems but he is unwilling to do ANY behavior modifications. His father also had panic attacks in his younger years. My SIL is now on disability for severe anxiety, she has a degree from Purdue but can not keep the most basic of retail jobs, and almost went off the deep end when her long term therapist moved out of town. I saw first hand how hard it was for her to do basic tasks, I asked her to slice a small brick of cheddar, it took her an hour and she agonized over if she was doing it correctly the whole time. The most heartbreaking case is my MIL she is SEVERLY depressed, and has spent much of the last ten years in bed crying in spite of numerous medications, shock therapies and counseling. I tried for many years by sending cards, little gifts offering to do things for her but I finally gave up and we saw very little of her in the last 15 years. She has two westies and I believe that might be the only thing that keeps are going. My husband's family has never been close and his dad is a really bad nasty, controlling tyrant so it was not like my family where I could just show up if my mom was ill. Between the mom being so uninterested in seeing her family and the dad being so awful we wound up having a falling out with him about 2 years ago and have not spoken with them since. I am not sure if times have changed or if people are able to talk about it more or what but I feel like half of the people I know are on some type of medication for depression or anxiety.

I wish you all luck as you deal with your struggles.

I wanted to add this to my post but waited to long

I have a question as an outsider looking in. For those of you with depression or anxiety, what do you feel is the best way people close to you handle you when they might be getting frustrated with your problems in dealing with life. Do you like to be encouraged, or forced to do something, or just be left alone. I am assuming that when in the moment being left alone is your choice, but what about afterward, are you like, wow thanks for making me go or do such and such. Often my reaction is to try to encourage but I never really know the right approach. thanks

i prefer to be a hobbit and be left alone! but there are times my bff has pushed me out the door and that has really helped. i more internalize my depression. i have always had family issues and had depression and handled it ok. ive tried meds and dont continue on them. they dont take the depression away. nor have i really been diagnosed because i dont really tell the doctors the truth about it. ive always have to the strong one. i was the parent with my parents and still am to some extent. it takes a major toll on your mind.... but knowing that one day my dh is going to wake up and say i cannot walk please take me to the er....and after that surgery it is a 98.5 percent chance he will be wheel chair bound is what has been choking me for months. we cry about it and get up and try to let it out. we talk about it a lil here and there and i try to tell him well there is still a chance you will walk afterwards........but in my heart it just breaks for him. we are only 41 and 40 and it feels like everything we worked hard for in our adult life is no longer. everything has changed now and it is just really hard to adjust, swallow and accept. i see him in such pain everyday and know i have to do as much as i can to take the pressure off him but it leaves me feeling like im in a cooker and a bit angry too.

Do you mind me asking ... what does your husband have?

originally a couple of crushed discs....when we first moved to nh while he was chopping wood. it was the middle of winter and he wanted to keep us warmer than the oil heat was doing. hes had three back surgeries total..and the last one did not fix what it was supposed to. the first surgeon wasnt really a good one and it sorta went downhill from there. he has always pushed through though and gone to work. even if he had to suffer but now hes been listed as disabled and stays home with the kids all day. he feels like a loser staying home...so that also doesnt help with our mental fight. he hasnt yet accepted this is the way things are.

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry!!! :( I live in NH, a little more South than you, actually we own a timeshare in Sanbornton, NH, right next to you. I love your area!!! I love Lake Winni and Laconia and spend a lot of the summer up there. Friends of ours have a camp up there, last year we tried to buy one too. I know how long and hard the winters can be also. He must want to care for his family more than he can and that may be killing him.

We should try to meet up this summer with the pups! I'm 36 and my hubby is 44, so we all roughly the same age. That would be fun! My Fletcher loves other dogs to play with... my Dexter, not so much! HAHA

i would love that. i actually have a beautiful back yard, in the summer i set up our pool and the kids pool lol....we have a pond and everything. i only wish i could afford to make it all fenced in and keep out the rottie that thinks small dogs are toys that lives next to me. her mother is not very good about keeping her in the yard all them time. most times but sometimes she sneaks over.

i live next to gunstock so i usually walk the kids there. lola and dexter should hit it off as shes not into other dogs. haha. cedric and keylo love to play with others. we are around the same age and you can always use a new friend. =*(())

btw thank you so much and yes it has taken its toll on his pride.

I have a fenced in yard for the 'kids' if you want to come south a bit, and an in-ground pool for all the kids (skin and fur)! My 2 fur boys love swimming in the pool, they are very good at it. :) The skin kids are always welcomed to the pool too, as long as they don't mind the fur kids being in with them! haha As for the Rottie, well I would be ok, but not ok with my boys if the Rottie were out. Ive been lightly bitten by 2 dogs in my life, and both were Rotties. I'm a little gun shy when it comes to them.

I can understand how he is feeling. I have been there. I have damage to my spine, neck, shoulder, knees. How long has he been hurt? Mine is 14.5 years. I was a very active person. Working 60-80 work weeks, Yoga, working out, dancing, riding a motorcycle, volleyball, etc. then came to a screeching halt. The pain, the meds, the loss of self worth. I total get it.

yes exactly and it is not something i can really help him with to a certain point i can encourage but after that its beyond me. its been 11 years but just only a year...this month last year is when the doctor informed us he could never return to work or do the things he once did...he had his third surgery in nov of 11 and we expected a full recovery so it was a shock.

either or works for us. trust me when shes in my yard all jason or i have to do is make eye contact with her and she knows to leave our yard. she actually took my punkee princess who has since passed by the neck and was tossing her like a toy. thankfully jason was out with her and not me. he had to hit her with a stick for her to let go of my punkee princess. she wasnt hurt only emotionally probably cause she was 13 pounds. if it were cedric or lola that may have not been the case. i told the neighbor what happened and since then shes tried to keep her in her own yard more. my kids are never out alone and we keep our eyes peeled for her.

We all walk through the valleys of life. How did I make it? Faith, family, friends and dogs. I could not make it alone. Look up-there is strength from the Lord. There is peace amid the storms of life. My husband and I are cancer survivors and my daughter a bi-polar diagnosis. How did we make it? Cried out to Jesus. I am telling you, He is the answer. Life is not easy and we need the help of the man who came down to this very earth and died for us. Now He has a place for us in heaven. All we do is turn our life to Him and let Him carry us through. He led me to the most awesome psyc dr when I was in depression over cancer. He will help you. Read the bible, grab ahold of the promises in there and you will find comfort like I did.

Even with God medicine can be necessary because there is a chemical imbalance in the brain.

Not everyone believes in the same "all loving god" that you do. And that's all I'm going to say, because I don't want a religious debate.

Thanks.
Its often isolating for some when a single religion or sectors of it are constantly at the forefront.

Back on topic, I've never struggled with anything other than temporarily due to life circumstances, depression, anxiety, but am in a relationship with someone who has a metal disorder-not sure how else to classify it no offense.

Its helpful to read others share their experiences, I really struggle trying to make it more logical and have a just get over it attitude, the inner struggle of the other person isn't vocalized so it's a sheer frustration is guessing their experience of events and emotional responses.

I just want to start by saying depression is VERY REAL. I lost my oldest son 3 weeks before his 18th birthday to suicide. The after affects and post traumatic effects will last with my youngest son and I forever. I, too have struggled with depression most of my life as it is strong in my family too. My youngest son made an attempt on his life 10 years after losing his only brother while he was away at University. He had never properly dealt with the loss of his brother nor the PTS from being only 15 and cutting his brother down and trying to perform Cpr.
Sadly, my ex (their father). Still believes it is not real and a person can snap out of it. Knowing what it's like being depressed at times I can attest that only meds and professional help gets one on the right track.

I recently read a quote from someone who said about depression:
Anyone who expects you to "snap out of it" is essentially asking you to perform your own brain surgery via telekinesis.

I'm so sorry about what your sons have been through :(. Depression is so painful and it's SO hard to fight bc it feels there isn't a reason to fight, at its worst.

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This thread is amazing, and I think it's so brave and important to share this kind of stuff bc there are still stigmas about mental health issues. Lynzy, thanks so much for starting this :love:.

I remember feeling depressed even as a young child; given my childhood, I know where this comes from - so it makes sense now. It was far worse in jr high and then especially high school...but no one really recognized it bc I didn't act out - I just went inward, and my parents ignored the signs. I faked being okay, which I'm still an expert at. In my 20s, it was horrible after my Mom died (when I was 21) and I was in a very bad place - but still, I wasn't aware that I should get help, or that I could get help...I just suffered and felt dead inside; and self medicated by experimenting w/ lots of fun drugs :cool:, just so that I could feel SOMEthing. My late 20s/early 30s looked super "successful" on the outside and I think bc of this, bc I could "function" - I just kept stuffing everything deeper and deeper. God, what a mistake! That causes SO much more damage than what is already there.

Finally around age 36, I just crashed...just isolated from everyone around me, except when I had to go to work. I stopped returning calls to all friends and family. I SO hoped that, somehow, I would just die a quick natural death bc I just couldn't live like that anymore.

When I finally got help after my best friend said she was scared to death for me, I was diagnosed w/ major depression and PTSD. I went on meds and went to therapy. Therapy can be amazing...especially if you've stuffed things to infinity.

Depression is rampant in my family, from my Mom's side....almost a genetic guarantee. I have 2 female cousins who were cutters and had extensive issues. Eating disorders in all 5 females that are in my generation of the family. Think my great grandma was bipolar. Substance abuse in various family members.

Needless to say, I'll probably always have to take some kind of med to support my messed up brain chemistry...there is just no way around it. I'm always at risk for deep, deep, paralyzing depression - so I really have to watch for it.

Those w/ depression: if you haven't read William Styron's "Darkness Visible", you absolutely must! He is a writer who suddenly suffered a major, deep depression. The way he writes about depression and articulates how it feels is nothing short of amazing. And, extremely validating.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I was not going to answer this but now I feel the need to.... For an outsider looking in on the world of somebody that lives day to day with anxiety here is how it goes... You wake up.. Better yet you TRY to go to sleep at night but you can't because you mind is going 500 miles a minute driving you nuts of did I say something wrong, did I do something wrong, have a hurt somebody, OMG did I do what was best for me, my family, my dog today are they going to get hurt or die because of what I did... Hmm do I smell fire? Did I leave a candle on.. Let me go check... Ok no candles wait did I lock the doors? Let me go check... Hmm are my car doors locked let me check that... Was Guinness fed enough today? Is his blood sugar ok or is going to die in his sleep? Wait I think I might have said something wrong to my friend today because she posted on FB she was upset... OMG I bet I did and now she hates me... She is attacking me I just know it but she is not saying it was me but I know everybody knows it was me... Now I wish I would just die in my sleep because I am not doing what is best for Guinness so he is going to die and I might have said something wrong and my best friend hates me... This goes on nonstop until my medicine kicks in and I can sleep!!! Around people I say things wrong or come across too blunt because I lack the ability to fully think thru what I say and how I say it before it just flies out my mouth... I have been known to hurt a person or two BUT after they come back and ask why did you say or do that and I explain and say that I am sorry we work things out like adults most times... Other times it comes down to they feel the need to attack back which just sends me into a deep dark lonely spiral bringing on even an worse attack which has been known to make me lock myself in my room in the dark alone and wish for death. People with anxiety a lot of times also have social anxiety that make us says things for attention because if we don't we fear we will fade into the background and forget us.... And these things might not always be the "right" things to say because no mater the type of attention it is just attention.
So figured now would be a great time to explain and let you know what it is like to live in our shoes.

I've never been "labeled"... And most days/nights, that's how I live. Hhhhmmmmm