Now I have marriage questions!
 

So Ive been married a whole 11 days now. Before the wedding we had lived together for almost 2 years, so every day now I wake up and realize that really nothing in our day to day lives changed at all. I am in process of changing my name now and we do need to put each other on our assets (we both own property) and we need to open a joint bank account, but other than that, we are who we are still. Sometimes I still refer to him as my boyfriend/fiance and others correct me, kind of funny!

I almost feel like I am supposed to feel different! haha like suddenly a big boom or a white light was to go off that signifies we are married! I guess I always thought being married would FEEL different, but it does not. I'm so happy we are married, my husband is the best, I guess I just had some unrealistic expectations of what marriage feels like! :)

Did anyone else notice a big change once married, I mean for those who already lived together?

I have no comments as I have never been married but I did want to extend my CONGRATS to both you and your husband. Best wishes for a long married life filled with good times and wonderful memories.

i think the living together first part is what makes that not so feeling change. my husband i did live together before and i felt the same after .....only changing names and adding to things were the difference. lol

I didn't live together with my husband until we got married. Well, actually about two weeks before we got married. We just bought a house and I had the flu. So even my parents (who are beyond religious) wanted Curry to be with me in case in the middle of the night I stopped breathing (I'm an asthmatic).

I honestly didn't feel any different either. I was expecting this like overly giddyness, but it didn't happen. Don't get me wrong, I was so happy to get married. But I think the movie Bridesmaids described it best at the end, alot of things change quickly, and yet you still feel like you're drifting. Some things change, some things don't. And despite living together for awhile, or not, it's still change which can be a different experience for us all.

No cant say that I did... mine came years earlier in our relationship.

DH and I were together for 6 yrs before we got married. Lived together for 5 of those yrs. We didn't have a elaborate wedding or even a honeymoon. Didn't have the money for it. The important thing was we were finally Mr and Mrs. Miller. It was the happiest day of my life. I didn't get the romantic proposal, the wedding or the honeymoon that I had always dreamed about. I didn't get a 4 ct. diamond ring nor was my father there to walk me down the isle. But I did get my knight in shinning armor. There were no bells and whistles to speak of just a "promise". He's my best friend and my soul mate and that is better than any feeling in the world.

A funny story about us is I was 19 at the time, we met on his 20th b'day and Four months into our relationship he says to me "If your lucky. I'll marry you some day".... I was speechless which doesn't happy very often. It was dark out and I just sat there with the biggest grin on my face with a tear rolling down my cheek. I thought to myself... this is it, he's the one I've been searching for all these years. We've been together ever since! Almost 27 yrs... we've grown up together and we've grown closer as each year passes.

Just give it some time you'll find your big moment. Sometimes it is the little things in life that will be a defining moment in any relationship. Maybe rekindle your romantic side, a wedding can be draining for a couple. Date night is what works for us !

I hear ya on the honeymoon part and the big wedding. I think we had 75 people at ours. My in-laws refused to pay for anything so it all came out of my husband's and my pocket as well as my parents. While my brother and cousins when they got married went on elaborate honeymoons, my husband and I were trying to fix up or house and pay for a sick puppy...

Made us closer though...And I wouldn't have traded those hard years for anything.

hahaha Dawn! If it were me I would have said "If you're lucky, I might say yes" LOL

Thats so sweet though seriously! 27 years and still each other's best friend! I am so happy for you! :)

My husband & I did not take a honeymoon. We paid for our own wedding, for about 92 people completely on our own, so a honeymoon immediately after was just too much. And now 12 days into our marriage, we are closing our business under duress. It's been a battle with the company that owns the building so it's time. It has been a challenging first 2 weeks of marriage with that happening... but I have no doubts that him & I can get through anything together. We just click. He's rational when I'm insane, I'm rational when he's insane. We really do pull each other through our downs.

omg... that is so sweet!

My dh said to me a few months into dating that he wanted to marry me but could afford to feed me lol.... I was very thin but I could EAT :p!!!!! He then told me after we were married he would divorce me if I ever weight more than him.:eek: I was still very very thin, but that changed:( I have not admitted to my weight to him for at least 15 years:eek: ... I got fatter he got thinner:rolleyes: I honestly think he never though I would weigh more than him.. ooooppsss

Congratulations and best of luck! We were high school sweethearts and moved in together on graduation night. Over a year later we were married during a small ceremony, no more than 15 people. We have been married 17 years and together over 21 years. My big moment came the day my son was born and we became a family. :D

hahaha Dawn! If it were me I would have said "If you're lucky, I might say yes" LOL :D

Thats so sweet though seriously! 27 years and still each other's best friend! I am so happy for you! Thanks

Wow, not such a great start to the rest of your lives as man and wife, so sorry. This could be why you haven't had that wow I'm married moment. Life doesn't stop for you, you need to keep up with life and make it what you want it to be. It's tough, If it's not one thing it's another. I'm sure that once you settle thing with your business that things will start looking better.

Him & I are so on the same page with things though, we are working this through together so far, a few minor hiccups but overall we are getting through it ok! :) I knew we would... I couldn't wait to marry him and be his wife! :) He's the greatest guy int he world for me!

Aww very sweet !! :D

We lived together for about a year, he moved into the house I owned, I had a roommate and she even stayed on for a little while after the wedding, she was happy because I reduced her rent. We had combined most of our finances before hand and I waited 6 years to change my last name, so I guess I did not feel different. However I felt a big let down because I had spent the whole year prior planning every aspect of the wedding weekend festivities. We did it up with all the bells and whistles and with lots of activities to keep the out of town guests (lots of my family) entertained. I made the centerpieces, homemade chocolates for favors, gift bags for the guests that stayed in hotels and I even had a weekend events newsletter printed. I cooked the food and hosted the rehearsal dinner where we kept our boat, had a woman's brunch at my home the morning of the wedding, and organized a barbeque boat party for the day after. Everyone thought I was crazy but I enjoyed all the planning. We did not go on a honeymoon for 6 months so with no wedding to work on I felt a little blue.

My husband and I lived together also a long time before we were married, we also had our son before we were married. So once we got married it was same ol same ol. But I think thats good.

It didnt really feel any different than living together except our commitment to each other deepened. We lived together 10 yrs prior to marriage

My hubby and I also lived together before marriage. Our daughter was 2 years old by the time we got around to it:o My ex was holding up the divorce to mess with me, he knew that I wanted to remarry:mad: We had a small intimate beach wedding, as it was the second for us both. I think we had 5 people there, and we did it at dawn, there were even dolphins jumping out in the water. Honeymooned in Orlando for 4 days, that was it, then back to work and life:p

Anyway, nothing changed here. The only thing about being married that's different is something that I hope you'll never ever experience. It's much more difficult to disentangle your lives if you ever want to. That's about it!

Congratulations, Mrs.!!!!!!

Its funny but I still feel like we are waiting on something before it's official... even though it's totally official. The wedding license is back and in our hands, we are on record with the state of NH, everything is done. I am in process of changing my name, sent all the paperwork to the Social security office. Its just funny to me how NOTHING has changed. NOTHING at all! His parents call me Mrs. just for fun, but other than that, nothing changed at all. LOL I guess thats probably a good thing, but it just seems weird to me to call him my husband when 3 weeks ago he was my fiance and I feel the same as I did then! haha I still don't sign anything with his last name because I have no supporting documents until I get a new license. Maybe then it will feel more real. Maybe I'm just living in newlywed bliss right now still! LOL

While my husband and I didn't live together and were each only 20 when we married, I felt still very much like myself-plus when I woke up married. I just felt as if I had added something I couldn't - and still can't define - to my person. Life seemed far more special and meaningful all of a sudden. I felt suddenly as if I had a "back-up" in life - a good feeling. Overnight, "I" became a "we" and loved that change. The world was immediately a far friendlier place as a member of a team. I felt very different.

Oh...and you couldn't have called him 'DH' before....;) :D x

I thought of that!!!!!! LOL

Yorkietalkjilly - That is a very sweet thought! I wonder if it's because we have been hit with so much huge stuff since the wedding that the 'we' team feeling is just not there yet. I can't wait to feel that way though. **SIGH** I hope things get easier and funner for us this summer! :)

Probably plus maybe age does, too. At just 20, sometimes you are facing the big world for the first time all on your own and your partner being there suddenly makes you feel much less vulnerable or something.

My husband and I met when he was 27 and I was 22 at a night club LOL My Dad said you can't meet a quality man there and the day he walked me down the aisle to give me away he said I am so glad you picked a good one:D We lived together for 3 years before we got married. After 13 years he is still my best friend and the best husband and friend I could've dreamed of:D It's always been so important to keep the moments good and bad into perspective. I have always felt like the rough times weren't so rough because we experienced them together. I don't think anything has changed at all;) I really don't think it should if you are that close and you know it's right:D

That is literally exactly how I feel being married to my husband. What a great post:thumbup::D

Think back when you turned 16,you didnt feel any different. But then the privilage of driving came along and suddenly you were 18,then 21. None of it feels different suddenly,you just look back and see the changes.
Last Wed was our 32 anniv. All we could do was look at each other and say WOW! We have been together sense highschool,dated a while,were engaged 3yrs,moved in together for a few months and THEN we had a wedding,,,to make it legal. During that time we both graduated from college,he became a CPA,we had and mostly raised our 6 children (still have a couple at home). None of this happened suddenly. Our relationship has changed and grown like a big redwood tree. Above all we are still best friends.
Congratulations on your marriage,may you find continual joy as the years go by.

Is this what I have to look forward to in 3 days??? :eek:

I was kind of hoping to feel different after the wedding Saturday, but I guess I won't. DF and I have been together for 5 years, and have lived together (officially) since August. (Though one could argue that he'd been flushing rent money down the drain for a few years prior to that, since he was here every day and night anyway.)

The thought of having to change my name on my driver's license, bank accounts, credit cards, and web sites is a bit daunting. Do you do the driver's license first, and then do everything else?

I have been married for 6 years and haven't changed a thing. My husband and I were joking yesterday I said I wanted to make sure it was going to work LOL. Honestly though I have just been a slacker and haven't done it.

I should've said I do feel different in a sense that I love him more and more everyday which I didn't think was possible since I loved him so much from the start;)

No, you have to change your name with the Social Security office first. I sent my marriage license there with the form filled out that you should have gotten when you went for your marriage license. A couple days later I got mail back in my new name saying that my new SS card would be arriving in 2 weeks. Then I can do my license. Once I get my license I think that's all I need to start changing everything else. From bank accounts, to mortgages, etc...

The challenges we have faced in the 3 short weeks we've been married have been incredible. We are constantly bickering now. :( We owned a shop that went out of business. His brother ran it and now we are arguing over the assets we need to sell to make some of what we lost. His brother is reopening somewhere else by himself and wants to buy the stuff from us, only I don't want to have him make payments because that got us nothing (not 1 payment) from the shop we did try with them, so I don't want to repeat the same mistakes, yet my husband does not know how to say no. My brother showed up on our door step last weekend, he lives with my grandfather and they got into an argument and my grandfather called the cops on him to get him out of the house, so he shows up with his 2 babies and nothing with him for them bc he had to just grab them and run out the door. My husband and I argued about that bc I felt my grandfather was wrong to kick out my brother when he had his 2 small children that night, my husband felt that my brother was wrong for not leaving when the argument started.
Now I have a cold.

Marriage does not seem to be agreeing with us!

Last night we went out for japanese food and at the end in my fortune cookie, my fortune said I have a deep desire for a home and nothing is more important to me than family. I told him that HE is my family over anyone else and he is the most important person in my life. Hopefully that defused some of the tension between us. :D

I am sorry that stinks you are going through so much in such a short time. I think the biggest thing is putting each other first. We have always done that until we had our son and now he is first and we love it:D Everything will work out it's a lot to handle right now but just take a deep breath and remember why you all married each other in the first place....LOVE:)

Chelstu1: In a marriage it is not about who is right and who is wrong. It is about what you can agree on. There will be MANY things that you do not agree on and you will just have to agree to disagree.
If you do not want his brother making payments to you,tell him why and leave it at that. If his brother doesnt ever give you a dime,the one thing that your husband will learn is to listen to the councel of his wife.
It does not matter who is right and wrong between your brother and grandfather,that is not your concern because you can not fix it. Giving a roof to your brother and his kids is a loving and kind thing,but remember that your marriage and the relationship with your husband is first. Do not allow others to come between you and your husband.
In 32yrs there have been so many things that we have not agreed on,but the one thing that we are both committed to is that our marriage,our relationship comes first. That is before my mother in law,before our children,before the bills and money concerns.
I hope for you a relationship and marriage that only become stronger everyday and that you will get to look back in 30 + years and say " Look at all of the hurdles that we have jumped over and our love and friendship is stronger today than when we started". Blessings