Mother in law rant
 

My Mother in law is constantly buying things for our house and not asking us first then expecting us to pay her for it. Llike this week she was going to buy a loft bed for My Daughters room she even had it disasembled and tried to get it in her car and it wouldnt fit so she called My Husband and asked if she could use his van to get it. Anyway thats when the news got to me. I blew up and because #1 we didnt have $200 to spend on a bed right now. #2 I was not asked or even considered in this decision and it has happened many times before, #3 a loft bed isnt practical in my daughters room right now. Her and her friends like to sit on her bed also her bed she has in her room she has had less than a year. I was really hot at my Husband and he ended up telling her we didnt want the bed.

Now I foundx out the Mother and her 3 sons are going to go and completely change My neices room and they are going to do it while her Mom My sister in law is at work and they arent going to tell her they are doing it. I told My Husband I think it is very dirty what they are doing, Im going out of town the day they are doing it so I am glad but I have alot of animosity towards My Husband, My Mother in law and his brothers for the dirty ways they treat sister in laws in this family. I have to get together with them on Friday and Saturday and its going to be every thing I can do to hold it in and not say anything. There is probably nothing anyone can say to help my situation this is just a rant to get it off my chest

Why hold it in? Tell her, tell all of them! You will thank me later!

Oh in laws....Sigh. The worst part of marriage.

OMG...that so sucks what's her problem... I think you should say something to your sister in law and tell her don't say anything and take off the day...lol and suprise them in the act..tee hee that's what I would do because I'm sneaky when it comes to wrong doing in our house hold... I'm considered the bully because know one can bully me and if they do they have something coming to them..lol if you need back up let me know..lol good luck:)

I dont think I can the Sister In law has her own problems and I havent been close to her. Plus I feel there is a trust between My Husband and I that he even told me and I dont want to break that trust. The sister in law is very controlling and she is going to blow a top when this happens. This is all being initated by her Husband because he wants his daughter to have a nice room and the mom hasnt done anything in her room. It is also because the Mother in law did my daughters room but I also knew about it and was involved. I told my Husband what they are doing is dirty because they know its wrong but they are going along anyway

I get you.. but it still sucks...no one in their own home should feel left out.. shame on her husband.. my Guy would never do that...even if my boys room needs an upgrade.. good luck with it.. run far from it then..:(

Im going to Dayton Ohio to visit my Aunt that had Open Heart surgery thankfully!

Definitely a "rude" way of doing things..... maybe the monster in law needs to be told that "remodeling" another womans house is very disrespectful. Sounds like she needs a new hobby. :rolleyes:

oh mother in laws. and darling husbands who still let them control and walk all over them and their wives and kids....how i sympathize with you there. mine's a mean drunk/druggie and i think has only a few good bones in her but mostly mean ones.

my FIL and MIL both do lots and lots of things and they never consider me or my feelings or opinions. just the other day i had dh ask them to please not bring my gifts into their smoke infested house from my SIL who mailed it to them. the FIL says ok and then guess what my presents were on their table inside when i went to collect them....thank God they somehow stayed smoke free from the wrapping paper protecting them, but still!!! they expect me to like all the useless CRAP they give me and it's almost always cheap thrift store crap. my SIL for her first child got a pack n play that i had my other SIL and MIL go in with me on. What did i get from my MIL for gifts?? a cross stitched plaque that looked 100 years old all about how great grandparents are and a couple smoke infested books. thanks a lot. she wasn't even going to come because she all of a sudden doesn't believe in baby showers :(

anyways sorry to make this about me. just letting you know i feel ya on MIL problems. i have a fair share of them and know how awful it gets. i finally have had to put my foot down harder and if DH won't say something I WILL. esp with my little bear cub to protect from her now. i'll be a lot more vocal and less timid when it comes to my baby. she may be grandma but she's nothing to me when she's drunk or strung out and she won't be around my kids when she can't control herself.

Uh, I'm pretty sure you and I have the same mother-in-law...Sounds very, very familiar.

really. i thought there was only one monster as bad as her. :D

No ma'm just getting a little bit started, mine didn't buy my husband and I a wedding or shower gift. Refused to pay or anything at the wedding, until she admitted herself in the hospital (which she did 3 days before my wedding in order to make it all about her) and I made my husband corner her right in front of her mother to demand she give us the money that she promised (only gave us half the rest my husband and my family had to make up).

Then during my shower on his side, the whole time I'm trying to announce that my husband and I bought a house, she starts bawling her eyes out saying how she has to put her 16 year old beagle down (who I rescued when he was just left for 5 days in a house when she split with my FIL) due to kidney failure. So, on my shower day I got to take the dog to the vet to be put down....

Oh I have some good stories, and I'm sure many can relate. Sheer evil :mad:

No way...never! Ok, I'm here to tell you...I would have no problem being very direct and up front about it. Look, don't buy not one other item for my house and it you do..and...I choose to accept it, I will not pay you one dime for it, I will consider it a gift. However, if and only if, I ask you to pick something up for me...then and ONLY then will you be reimbursed. And that would be said right in front of the entire lot of them!!! And to make myself very clear....I would ask "are there any questions) good, then were are done!

Geez...ticks me off and it's not even me, LOL. Good Luck!

Why do they think they have the right to come into someone else's home and change their rooms? So you are saying your mother in law and her 3 sons are just going to bust into your sister-in-laws house during the day and change up her daughter's room w/o the consent of her or your sister-in-law? Ooooohhh that would NOT fly with me AT ALL! I can't even imagine someone thinking they have the right to do that! Crazy! Some people are sooo clueless and rude!

Wow. I'm glad I live over 2000 miles from my MIL. Shes a nice person, but shes annoying as hell and does stick her nose in other peoples business. But not nearly as bad as these people you're talking about. I feel bad for my hubby, cause he has my dad as a FIL. My dad......yeah hes pretty mean to anyone but me.

Oh boy! This sounds like my soon to be sister-in-law. When we told everyone our wedding date (due to cost at the hall we wanted, we switched it to a weekend in March) it happens to be a week before her birthday. We told everyone the date in Oct. Up until that point there was no talk of her birthday or ANYTHING. I mean it's 6 months before it. Soooo we tell them the date and she tells me "Wow, thats only a week after my 40th birthday bash. How much was that hall? We are looking for a hall for my birthday bash and I really like that place!"

Ok, uumm... Miss broker-than-broke.... why do you need to throw yourself a 'birthday bash' when you can't even afford rent? Why would you even IMPLY to me (the bride!) that you might look at renting the hall that we rented for our wedding 1 week later? She of course can't afford it and after a month the talk died down and we heard nothing since then, but what a witch!!! She just needed to have all the attention... even though she has had plenty of attention in her life! :( She has said some other really terrible things to me in the past too. Little 'jabs' to purposely piss me off, but only to me, so that no one else has to hear her nastiness.

OH gosh, do I want to marry into this family? YIKES!

Ha my wedding was in March too for price reasons. And because my husband is 100% Irish (day after St. Patty's day!)

It doesn't get better, but good news is, you create the boundaries when you're married. By the way, my sister-in-laws love to fly in their broomsticks, cause drama, and fly right back out so...Yeah apple doesn't fall very far from the tree. Have no idea where my husband came from.

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thum bup: Yeah, that. You're only hurting your health and sanity by keeping it all in. You can tell them how you feel in a nice-ish way, so you don't hurt their little feelings too much, but you must speak up, doll:love: Maybe if you and the other stompees get together, you can draw strength from one another;)

Good luck!

Go over to her house and rearrange the furniture.... Ask her how she likes it???
My sister in law thinks she's gods gift to everyone simply because she's a nurse... God forbid you have a headache near her, she'll diagnose you with a brain tumor.

Awww, the wonderful world of inlaws.....:rolleyes: Lets just say we all understand. Prayers to you sister. Hoping you can get it all worked out.

Wow, she sounds like a piece of work. I could see her picking out things, but then asking you to pay for them?! No way... I wouldn't stand for that!

Just a brag: I have THE best MIL in the world :)

I really feel for everyone out there with in-law problems! I NEVER would have thought that I would be experiencing this kind of crap at this stage of my marriage (18 years on Dec. 4th), but here we are. Actually, its my DH that has it worse than me, as his folks have not spoken to him for around a year, and was a year ago in September for me. There has been an exchange of birthday cards and Christmas cards from them to him and vice-versa, but they do not acknowledge me at all anymore. We used to be so close, actually FIL walked me down the aisle in place of my late father. We did so much together for so many years, the four of us, and now this!:confused: The real villian of this story, in my opinion, is DH's drunken brother. That is a story all in itself, which I won't bother with, other than to say that he has such a way of twisting things to suit his purpose, which is to put a wedge between DH and family. This is the second Christmas without Family, just going to be the two of us and the Boys. At least we won't have to put up with drunken hijinks and political arguements, lol!

Do these people have a key to their house? I guess so if they are just going to barge in and redo rooms. Geesh!! Tell her to read her Bible and thats why God said Leaving your father & mother and CLEAVING to your WIFE. That ought to start a good one.

I think that not only should you quietly tell your sister in law,so she can be home. But the two of you should go paint and redocorate you Mother in laws bathroom,bedroom,some room that she really likes in HER house.

I think I would also tell my husband that if he brought one more thing into the house from his mother,he would become a monk,,,possibly a unic.

I hate to say this and everyone will think i am a bad person but here goes. My life got a lot easier and our marriage became a lot less stressful when my mother in law died.
I married the oldest son and her favorite. She called me a city princess when she first met me and never like me. thought i was a snob. Actually just shy and came from a much different home life.
Her kids catered to her and took her side no matter what. Her oldest Dtr is the same way. She thinks she can get into our business. We live on land that belonged to dh's mom and dad. The front acre was going to be ours when they died. we asked that it be put in our names when we set a trailer on it cause we knew when they died all hell would break loose. Everyone grabbing what they could. Dear sis in law wanted a copy of the deed I pitched a fit. I told dh that no way i did not have copy of her deed.
When we were trying to get our trailer, i asked mom in law to sign a paper stating that the mobile home company could come on the land and repossess the home if we defaulted on loan. She sd no, dh had to talk her into it. It was a matter if that she did not sign, we would not have a home.
sorry, she was and is still a sore spot with me even though dh and i have been married 29 years. I tell him at least he has better in laws than i have.
:rolleyes:

Sounds like Mommie dearest needs to be told about boundries. My house my way always.

Thanks for making me feel better everyone. Not certain how Im going to handle this yet but your stories and advice made me feel alot better

I think that the thing alot of parents forget is that it is a "privilage" not a right to be a part of your grown childrens lives. My SIL is SO in her childrens stuff that one of them moved all the way to Boston and the other two just deal. The only way I got to hold the new baby last Sunday was my husband met my niece at the door and held onto the baby with my SIL hovering,until I could put down what I was doing and hand the baby to me. The whole time she was in my home she acted like it was ALL about her and even dared to roll her eyes and belittle Mina because she is "just a dog" and wears clothes. This is actually my X SIL and I thought it very gracious of me to have her here so everyone could be together. She did atleast know better than to make any negative statement about my baby,I would of raised the roof off of the house and my kids would of been right there with me.
When we decided to home school 20 years ago,my MIL pitched a fit. It was bad enough that for the first few years I made sure that she wasnt alone with any of the children.
I am a stay at home mom,this is my JOB (that pays in hugs),NOONE is going to tell me how to do my job or rearrange my office. I dont care who in the family it pisses off. If they try and then think that I am a "B" then they will at least think before acting.
All that to say this, when it is your turn to be the mother of an adult or a MIL remember what you suffered and be a friend and mentor,but not a pain in the "A". It is hard to watch your kids stumble,but sometimes lessons learned hard are lessons learned best and you will have a relationship that allows you to comfort them and give them advice when they ask.
My oldest was hit on his motorcycle last week (he is fine,bike is toast). My DIL made sure that he called me right after the police. It was hard but when they went to the hospital I didnt go. They needed to be grown ups and she needed to take care of her husband. My DIL sent me updates every 30 min to reassure me and make sure I knew that he was ok. I cleaned house and it sparkles,but I did not interfer.

I can write a book on my horrible MIL!!! The two worst things she did was have my DH and myself investigated by OFS to try to get custody of my son. She also had my parents and sister investigated to keep them from getting him. Of course one visit and it was dropped. She was not allowed near us for about six years and then only supervised visits. I was afraid she may take him. Now that he is a junior in high school we allow her to take him to dinner. We do not like it, but we feel my son needs to figure out on his own the type of person she is. We are the only family members who acknowledge she even exists. We just got our new baby from her because she not taking care of him. My DH was raised by his grandparents and considers them his parents. Ok I need to stop my rant is getting long. :mad:

I think that most people have "one of THOSE kinds of people" in their family,mine is not an inlaw,but blood kin. Sad but true. MY DH and I have a saying "friends are for fun,family is for frustration".
There is nothing wrong with making boundries/drawing a line in the sand. If you do it for the safety and well being of your own house hold,it does not matter who else you piss off.