Chachi - I think you and your SIL should first go out and buy something for MIL's house, take it over to her, expect her to pay for it. Then, you and SIL should redecorate one of her rooms while she is away. You can explain to your husband it is simply an "empathy-building exercise". Perhaps she will learn to have empathy towards her DILs if she knows how they feel.

I would have a HUGE fit if my MIL redid one of my rooms in my house behind my back. :mad:

Well its like I said the SIL is very controlling and will probably make it so the MIL cant see her granddaughter that is how much shes gonna blow her top. The SIL has her problems too so I feel bad for her because I know how it feels and yet shes no angel and causes alot of problems also

See! Im not the only one that thinks this is a good idea!

A friend of mine called me once to complain that she had redorated their masterbedroom. Her husband came home and instead of saying nice things,he rearranged the throw pillows and told her that he wanted them to be done THAT way from now on. My suggestion was to go to his office and rearrange stuff on his desk and tell him the same thing. She did and it worked. He has NEVER told her how to decorate again. It works

Stop paying for the stuff she gives you, just say thank you for the gift .... bet it wont be long before she stops buying things for you.

I understand. Isn't it funny how family situations are never cut and dry. I do agree w you, though, about keeping your DH's confidence. I'm that way w DH also. If he tells me something (especially stuff I know other male members of his family don't share w their wives), I make sure I keep it between the two of us.

I hope you all manage to have a wonderful Christmas and New Year's in spite of this.

i'm lucky to have pretty decent SILs. There are three brothers and one sister and my SIL that's my dh's sister isn't too bad, the SIL that's married to his older brother is a GEM and we get along perfectly and we vent to each other to keep from going insane with our horrible MIL. i hope my younger BIL marries a girl that me and my married in SIL can mold to our liking ;)

anyways i had a bad day with my inlaws and this time it was the boys. my parents have had it planned since the first of the month to come down (1.5 hours drive) for Christmas eve since dh is off but works on Christmas. so they were coming tomorrow at 10am and HE KNEW THAT. so his dad randomly decides they want to go get something for my MIL for Christmas and leave at 9am tomorrow and not get back til after 11am. Dh asks if this is okay. i put my foot down hard. as sweetly and kindly as i could i called him at work and said that would not be acceptable. his dad had over a month to plan something for MIL for Christmas and that it was not okay of them to ruin our Christmas morning and breakfast and gift opening with my parents to go out last min for presents for her. sorry but i'm not going to accept getting my plans for a month ruined by his dad's whims anymore! i compromise all the time and deal with this crap and i'm DONE dealing. i'm hormonal and having a baby on Wed and i just can't accept their crap anymore. time to be a big girl and stick up for my needs and wants and not let them ride me anymore.

no more Missy nice girl...horns are coming out ;)

When she tells you that you owe her money for it,say "oh,Im sorry I thought that it was a gift. Its not something that we are needing to purchase right now,thank you anyway" and hand it back to her. She will eventually get tired of the game.