I don't know how much my heart can take!
 

My father in law is on life support and his wishes were not to be kept alive on machines. He is all alone in there. Nobody wants anything to do with him. He has burned to many bridges and it's totally understandable why they feel the way the feel. But he is dying alone and it's a bit much form me to take. I am the only one who has gone to see him and I am not next of kid or even blood related so I can't do anything about it. I talked to my husband and he is going to sign papers today to turn the machines off. But I am just so sadden that he has nobody.

That is soo sad !

That is a really tough situation. My heart goes out to you and all that you are trying to do. You are in my prayers. :girl_hug:

Oh I'm so sorry Monica! This must be very hard for you! I will have your family and your father in law in my thoughts and prayers. :(

I am so so sorry for you. I will pray for you and your husband during this very difficult time.

thank you. Believe me you guys have kept me sane these last 2 months. I am so greatfull for this site. I find so much joy reading, looking at pictures, laughing and even crying. You all are so wonderful!

Such a sad situation. You have a compassionate heart and can put yourself in the other person shoes..none of us should get what we deserve, please give me mercy and grace.
Best wishes

oh my, i will pray that the right decision will be made,, you will be in my thoughts and prayers.. you are very kind..

You have a good heart...
 

Your post touched me. My grandfather recently passed away, after living with us for over 13 years. I was VERY close to him. While in the hospital, we were reading the Bible with him, just talking to him about memories and things of the sort, in his final hours. The nurses brought up how many patients don't have family there to do these things. It is admirable that you are able to look past or over the things that he may have done. Only a few things matter at this stage in his life. I will pray for you both...and I mean it :)

I am trying to forgive here. He had been staying her since Feb. And it has been an nighmare! I never had the heart to toss him out with no place to go. Meanwhile I hated him more and more for the kind of person he was. He just did not care about the people who tried to help him or to take care of himself to live and be happy. But there is a that part of me too that feels sorry for him. He is passing unloved and alone. And that's so very hard for me.

It is so sad , you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers .

it shows, your the better person so be there for him

He does have someone....he has you and that's saying a whole lot.

I'm sorry you're all going thru this - I honestly think when someone is dying that is the best time to put all ill feelings in the past and try to be there for them...but we can't force people.

Be strong Monica.....I'm so sorry.

Thank you for saying that. I was on the phone all night calling everyone but no one wanted to come see him. All they asked for is to keep them informed. My husband, his brother and their uncle (my father in laws brother) are all going to sign papers and say good bye tonight, but I couldnt get anyone else to come. And you are correct, you can't force them.

My prayers are with you. You are doing the right thing. You will have no regrets. My father in law passed away 11/7 and I was his primary caregiver for the past 14 months and when I took him to the hospital on the 6th they said he was stable and the next morning I got the call he had just passed away. I felt so bad that we wern't with him but we didn't know. But I have no regrets because I treated him the same way I treat my own elderly parents and I know his last year here with us made him happy.

That is a sad way to leave this world, but as long as you are there I'm sure that it lightens his heart a bit!

Oh gosh. I am so sorry for you. What a terrible, helpless situation you are in. Just know that you have done what you can. You have gone to see him. And if he truely doesn't want to be kept alive on machines, that is his wish. I am sorry you are having to deal with this.

Oh that is incredibly sad. He is really blessed to have you and your husband there to carry out his wishes, though, even though it seems hard now. I'll be thinking of you guys during this hard time!

Im so sorry. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Big hugs and lots of prayers to you Monica. Such a difficult position for you to be in. Don't forget to take care of yourself during all of this. :girl_hug: :girl_hug:

You are in my prayers...I went through this a little over two months ago with some family members being bull headed and not wanting to visit a family member who was dying. All you can do is do what you can- you can be there for him and be with him. You are one person and can not change any other persons mind. You told them what was up and they did what they did with that information- from what your saying NOTHING! That is their problem, not yours! Try and remember that no matter how sad it is....
Bless your heart for caring so much!
This place does help keep your mind off things!
Good luck!
Hugs-

Thank you all so much. Well I managed to get my father in laws brothers to go with my husband and his brother to go talk to the doctor. I went along too since I am the only one they have met thus far. They told us that when he was admited his surgar level was 1,800. He is diabetic, and does not take care of himself. He does not take his insulin, he loves his candy and soda and everything else that is a no no for someone with diabetes.

They brought his surgar down to 200 but it did too much damage to his body. His kindneys, liver, heart, are in failing and there is very little brain activity. They said his body is still in shock and there is a possibity that he can survive this but will never really have a normal life. So right now they will not take him off the support because he had nothing in writting stating he did not want to be kept alive by any support. So even though we all know it's not what he wanted we have to just wait and see. Unless he worsens by his heart stoping or no brain activity at all, they will keep him hooked up.

I know by seeing their father (meaning my husband and his brother) that way they did feel something. It did hurt seeing him that way. And hopefully they will be there more for him. I am so grateful to you all for your support. It's been really hard. But I do feel a bit better now that I got the boys to see their father. Now I wish they would grant David's wishes and take him off support. I know he would not want life with brain damage, which he is sure to have even if he does pull through.

Monica, I am so sorry for everything you have been going through lately. You have such a huge heart. I'm glad they went to see their father. When they look back on everything I think they would regret it if they didn't. Take care of yourself.

sorry to hear that about your family

Valiree mom loves you but your are in tourble little girl!

Thank you Erin. We have been through alot lately and I feel as if I have shoved my problems in your faces but you will never know how much your support helps me deal. Thank you all!!!!

As of this morning,, he is still the same. No worse or better, well that's not true. He is moving but still not responding at all. His eyes will open but there is nothing there when you talk to him. By him moving they are taking it as a sign as an improvement. I just know in my heart this is not what he wants.

Again, thank you all

You are in my prayers. You are a very caring compasionate person and he has you. There should be more people like you in this world.

Well I got some really good news. David is coming around. He is breathing on only 30 % machine. He is responding to voice and his kindneys are functioning on it's own. But his heart, lungs and lungs are still not doing good so we are still not out of the woods. There is some brain damage there. We don't know how much till they they test later today.

I am so proud of my husband after seeing his father that way, he is really being the loving caring person I know and love! And his family is coming arond too! I know with David seeing his son, it made him very happy. You can just tell he knew he was there. It wasnt a blank stare, he did respond and did blink when asked the question "Do you want to live". We know that it was his wishes not to be on life support and the doctors will not turn them off because there is nothing in writting and they feel that if it was an attempt to take his own life so they will not do it. They will to what ever they can untill he stops responding to treatments and worsens. He seems to have the will to life and is fighting. Time will tell. Thank your for your prayers and kinds words.

So glad to hear he is improving and that the family has come around. Will continue to keep you and your familiy in my prayers.

God bless you! No one should have to die alone! Some are not very forgiving! I'm not to much with my motherinlaw ,but would never let her die alone ! You are the better person! I'm so sorry for all this you are going though. You are in our prayers! lily

I just read your post ! thank god! I hope everything gets better. lily