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-   -   Mommy Advice: (https://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/off-topic-discussions/233458-mommy-advice.html)

Cha Cha 09-02-2011 10:22 AM
I don't have any regrets about the way I raised my kids so I wouldn't change anything. When my kids were little (youngest was 2 at the time), I did quit my full time job with benefits to go part time to be there for them. Really, what I lost in wages, I gained back in day care expenses. When they became school aged, I took a job at the school so I could have those days off with them too. I enjoyed working, but I also enjoyed being with them, so I had the best of both worlds. When they were old enough to not want mom around anymore, I came back to my original full time job I left when they were little and have been here ever since. LOL.

DvlshAngel985 09-02-2011 11:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellie May (Post 3653527)
No desire for kids right now and wouldn't want to put my life aside (in this case, school). So I'd go to school full time and just see them at night.

But my idea of raising kids (if I wanted to) is much different. If I wanted to do everything right (that is, right for me, not that it's the only right way), I would stay at home full time or possibly work a little bit each week. My kids would be homeschooled by me which is much harder to do if you aren't there. When your kids grow up and go to school from 8-3 daily, then I'm not sure there is a point to being home. For now I think it's best (jmho) to be home with baby as much as possible. Also jmho, I don't like daycares or babysitters for the most part (aside from a little bit of time each day or whatever) because I'd prefer to not send my kiddos away for somebody else to raise.
That's what my mom said about daycare. Why pay to have someone else raise your kids? My mom feels a sense of accomplishment with us, and gets compliments on her "smart" children. She's proud. I do think she missed out on coming into her own, but I think her dad not allowing her even a basic education. So I enrolled her in literacy school this year! I hope it helps her gain a sense of independence. :)

RachelandSadie 09-02-2011 02:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DvlshAngel985 (Post 3653596)
That's what my mom said about daycare. Why pay to have someone else raise your kids? My mom feels a sense of accomplishment with us, and gets compliments on her "smart" children. She's proud. I do think she missed out on coming into her own, but I think her dad not allowing her even a basic education. So I enrolled her in literacy school this year! I hope it helps her gain a sense of independence. :)
now i so much understand where you were coming from on your literacy programs. i hope you reach those goals and get a huge and amazing program off the ground to help people learn to read, write, and speak to their best ability. you have a big heart and you are an amazing person. your mother is a lucky woman to have you and you to have had her. :D

yorkietalkjilly 09-02-2011 03:16 PM
I stayed home until my son was about 2 and then worked part-time off and on until he was about 10. I LOVED that I didn't miss a minute of his babyhood and all of his "firsts".

jmdt 09-03-2011 06:05 PM
My oldest son will be 22 tomorrow. I don't regret for a second being here for all 4 of my children. They knew when they left for school, in the morning, I would be here when they got back. When they got back I was here. I wiped every nose and every tear my children had. My memories...every single one of them...are good. I can sleep at night knowing that I gave 1000% dedication to my kids. I made dinner, I did homework with them. I was, and am very lucky to have not had to work. I chose to stay home and raise my children. I didn't want anyone else to hear them utter their first word, or make potty for the first time. I didn't want anyone to tell me that they got a tooth or their tooth came out. If I had to do it over again I would absolutly do it again. I never lost my identity. My identity was to be their mom. And I was proud to do it.!! My mom was here for me and I was there for them. For me they were my career. :)

DvlshAngel985 09-04-2011 04:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by RachelandSadie (Post 3653824)
now i so much understand where you were coming from on your literacy programs. i hope you reach those goals and get a huge and amazing program off the ground to help people learn to read, write, and speak to their best ability. you have a big heart and you are an amazing person. your mother is a lucky woman to have you and you to have had her. :D
I wasn't trying to start a new program, I was trying to get people who need it to existing programs. Unfortunately, I was only able to get one person into the program, my mom. I wanted to get the parents of the preschool program I was working for to attend as well. The one person that was suppose to get both agencies together never made an effort, and then I was fired. It all fell apart. :(

RachelandSadie 09-05-2011 09:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DvlshAngel985 (Post 3655525)
I wasn't trying to start a new program, I was trying to get people who need it to existing programs. Unfortunately, I was only able to get one person into the program, my mom. I wanted to get the parents of the preschool program I was working for to attend as well. The one person that was suppose to get both agencies together never made an effort, and then I was fired. It all fell apart. :(
darn them! don't give up on things! you have a lot of ambition in there and are an amazing woman you can do ANYTHING. chin up and keep pushing on. we all know you can just don't ever give up on your dreams. :D love ya

MaddiesMommie 09-05-2011 01:21 PM
I have thought about this SO much. In order for me to stay home, we would have to make some changes that would seriously impact our future. An example, as of right now, our house will be payed off by the time our firstborn is 12 and I will a little over 40. That is HUGE for us. If I quit, that would put us back on a mortgage that would not be paid off until I am almost 60.
Also, I have a job teaching the age I love in a school that is literally 3 miles from home. Should I need to return to work, I amy not be as lucky and end up driving across county, or worse, another county to find a job.
I think this is a decision that is different for each family. I am lucky in the fact that my dad is retiring early so he can keep his grandson. :) My husband works from home and can usually have a flexible schedule. I am sure I would look at this differently if I was facing leaving my baby with a daycare or sitter that was a stranger. :( I am blessed to not have to worry about my boy being with someone who loves him almost as much as mommy. :)

manolos mom 09-06-2011 03:45 AM
I worked opposite shift from my husband so that we could raise our children. Never could understand why Money is so important in our society. I never wanted my children raised with someone elses values.

RachelandSadie 09-06-2011 06:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaddiesMommie (Post 3656432)
I have thought about this SO much. In order for me to stay home, we would have to make some changes that would seriously impact our future. An example, as of right now, our house will be payed off by the time our firstborn is 12 and I will a little over 40. That is HUGE for us. If I quit, that would put us back on a mortgage that would not be paid off until I am almost 60.
Also, I have a job teaching the age I love in a school that is literally 3 miles from home. Should I need to return to work, I amy not be as lucky and end up driving across county, or worse, another county to find a job.
I think this is a decision that is different for each family. I am lucky in the fact that my dad is retiring early so he can keep his grandson. :) My husband works from home and can usually have a flexible schedule. I am sure I would look at this differently if I was facing leaving my baby with a daycare or sitter that was a stranger. :( I am blessed to not have to worry about my boy being with someone who loves him almost as much as mommy. :)
Amazing that your dad can be there. If I had my mom or dad I'd be ok with working sometimes, but I'm a long way from my family and unfortunately my DH's family is incapable of caring for a child. His mother has a severe drinking problem and is mentally unstable and his father works still but also wouldn't be a loving and stable person to care for a child, he's never changed a diaper that i know of even and is a wonderful man but a hard police sergeant.

anyways i'm all alone to find childcare in a town i'm not familiar and i don't trust or know anyone very well around here. so i'm going to have to stay home and/or work PT if I ever do find someone to watch him sometimes.

MaddiesMommie 09-07-2011 01:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by RachelandSadie (Post 3658039)
Amazing that your dad can be there. If I had my mom or dad I'd be ok with working sometimes, but I'm a long way from my family and unfortunately my DH's family is incapable of caring for a child. His mother has a severe drinking problem and is mentally unstable and his father works still but also wouldn't be a loving and stable person to care for a child, he's never changed a diaper that i know of even and is a wonderful man but a hard police sergeant.

anyways i'm all alone to find childcare in a town i'm not familiar and i don't trust or know anyone very well around here. so i'm going to have to stay home and/or work PT if I ever do find someone to watch him sometimes.
Things will work out. I am happy you can stay home and enjoy Luke. My dad worked away when my sis and I were little so he missed a lot. He is getting very excited about becoming a Pop. ;)

RachelandSadie 09-07-2011 02:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaddiesMommie (Post 3658634)
Things will work out. I am happy you can stay home and enjoy Luke. My dad worked away when my sis and I were little so he missed a lot. He is getting very excited about becoming a Pop. ;)
mine is too. he's thrilled it's a grandson after surviving two daughters and now he finally gets to spoil a boy rotten and take him hunting and fishing. i wish he were closer so he would watch Luke. My mom would gladly quit her job if i paid her enough to watch him:p. but she won't move closer lol :rolleyes:

My lil friend 09-07-2011 07:38 PM
When our first child was born I told my husband that I was going to spend the time between first and second child working my tail off,putting money in the bank and paying off all bills. I was not enduring 9months of feeling fat,labor and delivery for someone else to raise our treasures. They are 22 months apart. I did reach this goal,quit working outside the home after the birth of my second child. I gave up alot but I gained so much more. I am a stay at home mom for 25yrs,been homeschooling this is year 20,our children are 27,25,22,20,18,16,yes you did count six. They have been my fulltime job and I wouldnt trade for anything. I have one left to finish schooling. So I am at the other end of motherhood,no grandchildren as of yet and I am ok with that. I am so enjoying my adult children and getting to do adult things with them.
The choise to stay home or continue to work part or full time is very personal. What one woman chooses may not be right for another. Staying home was my personal choise and I feel that my husband blessed by beyond description for supporting me.


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