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Mommy Advice: If you had it all to do over, or you could choose it all before you even started would you: A. Be a stay at home mommy no matter how much you give up financially in long term benefits and having to just give up a few of life's finer things. B. Apply for the best job you can find and make really good money and retire with a full pension plan working your way to the top but not seeing your kids as much as you want and climbing a ladder you're not totally sure you'd even enjoy for all that money at the end? C. Work part-time making a little here or there with something you LOVE and be with your little one the other half of your time and then some. |
I would chose c. Your kids grow up way to fast. It really is a blink and there gone. I worked opposite shift of hubby so one of us was always with the kids when they where smaller. Once the started school I worked seven to three and hubby eight to five. He got them to school and I was always home when they got home. Not to mention all the games and 4 h that kept them very busy. We always attended everything. I can not imagine not being able too do this. No regrets. Enjoy each and every day because they grow up very very fast. Now I have two grandkids and they are great. |
I was fortunate, I quit work when my son was 10 months old and stayed home. When he went to preschool at 2 years old through kindergarten, I went to work at the preschool. When he went to 1st grade I went to work in the elementary school lunchroom, so I could be with him and always be off when school was out. He is now a Senior in High School so I still get to be with him when school is out. I had a very good job working for the county when I had him, I would have 28 years in now , but choosing to stay home with him is the best decision I ever made, besides having him. But everyone has different circumstances and dreams. |
I was a stay at home mom and I totally enjoyed it. I really miss my boys being small, they are 23 and 19. If I had to do it all over, I would have worked part time. |
I think a or c is what I would choose based on how my mom raised me and my brothers. My mom was a big part of us growing up and was the #1 person who pushed us to be our best. She never was able to help us fill out forms, help with homework, or college applications because she didn't know how to read and write, but she helped in other ways. She now has 2 university graduates, and one more that has a year left to finish. I love how my older brother reminds her his BS is hers too. Without her constant support, and discipline, our future would have been very different. |
I would work at least part time. It is important for you to be there for your kids but when you are totally a stay at home Mom you lose your sense of identity. This is coming from a stay at home Mom |
Well, I'm only 21 and not planning kids for a long time. But I would chose C. |
I would choose "B" because you made it seem so unappealing with your wording. I'm forever a rebel ;) ~ and I would be a RICH rebel at that! |
I have been a stay at home mom for 10 years now after the birth of my first daughter. I have 4 kids ages 10, 8, 6, & 4. Staying home with them has been wonderful...no daycare expenses, I can be there when they are sick, I have no trouble getting them to after school activities, etc...However, I am currently trying to find a part time job. My youngest will start school soon and like a PP mentioned, I feel like I have lost my self identity. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids & love that I am fortunate enough to stay at home with them. I just need something else now that my kids are becoming more independent. |
I think it depends at what stage of life your in (most likely). Younger moms would prefer C while older moms that have already achieve alot would do A. B would be those who wouldn't mind the dad being the house husband. As much as I love my kids I do have to be away from them a few hours a day. Goodness they can drive me crazy. |
:yelrotflm I agree! I would be a rebel too! I just finished up my degree in education and have goals to eventually become a principal. I haven't decided if I want to have children, but if I do, I will be working full-time while raising them. Fortunately, I will hopefully be working at the school they attend, so I will be able to see them more than most parents who work full-time, plus we will be on the same schedule :) Quote:
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No desire for kids right now and wouldn't want to put my life aside (in this case, school). So I'd go to school full time and just see them at night. But my idea of raising kids (if I wanted to) is much different. If I wanted to do everything right (that is, right for me, not that it's the only right way), I would stay at home full time or possibly work a little bit each week. My kids would be homeschooled by me which is much harder to do if you aren't there. When your kids grow up and go to school from 8-3 daily, then I'm not sure there is a point to being home. For now I think it's best (jmho) to be home with baby as much as possible. Also jmho, I don't like daycares or babysitters for the most part (aside from a little bit of time each day or whatever) because I'd prefer to not send my kiddos away for somebody else to raise. |
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BTW, my sister was just in the same spot. She has a 9 month old. Quit her really good job with benefits, a nice amount of $$$, vacay time, that allowed her to climb the success ladder. She wanted to be iwth her baby boy. You only have one chance to raise them... She got a part time job and can take him along. So now they just have to watch their spending closer. No biggie. |
I think there is a choice in there that is not listed. You can work full time in a job you love and make decent money but also be home every night and weekends to spend with your kids. Some women need to work, not just for financial reasons but to keep their sense of self, to feel accomplished and proud and to feel that they can take care of themselves if (god forbid) the marriage did not work out or their husband unexpectedly got hurt and/or died. I think its a very personal decision on what you want to do. I have friends who pursued their careers while having kids, those who stayed home, those who went back to school nights when their husbands came home from his day job, I have friends who switched careers entirely. Its up to the individual and what they want to accomplish for themselves in their life. |
I don't have any regrets about the way I raised my kids so I wouldn't change anything. When my kids were little (youngest was 2 at the time), I did quit my full time job with benefits to go part time to be there for them. Really, what I lost in wages, I gained back in day care expenses. When they became school aged, I took a job at the school so I could have those days off with them too. I enjoyed working, but I also enjoyed being with them, so I had the best of both worlds. When they were old enough to not want mom around anymore, I came back to my original full time job I left when they were little and have been here ever since. LOL. |
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I stayed home until my son was about 2 and then worked part-time off and on until he was about 10. I LOVED that I didn't miss a minute of his babyhood and all of his "firsts". |
My oldest son will be 22 tomorrow. I don't regret for a second being here for all 4 of my children. They knew when they left for school, in the morning, I would be here when they got back. When they got back I was here. I wiped every nose and every tear my children had. My memories...every single one of them...are good. I can sleep at night knowing that I gave 1000% dedication to my kids. I made dinner, I did homework with them. I was, and am very lucky to have not had to work. I chose to stay home and raise my children. I didn't want anyone else to hear them utter their first word, or make potty for the first time. I didn't want anyone to tell me that they got a tooth or their tooth came out. If I had to do it over again I would absolutly do it again. I never lost my identity. My identity was to be their mom. And I was proud to do it.!! My mom was here for me and I was there for them. For me they were my career. :) |
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I have thought about this SO much. In order for me to stay home, we would have to make some changes that would seriously impact our future. An example, as of right now, our house will be payed off by the time our firstborn is 12 and I will a little over 40. That is HUGE for us. If I quit, that would put us back on a mortgage that would not be paid off until I am almost 60. Also, I have a job teaching the age I love in a school that is literally 3 miles from home. Should I need to return to work, I amy not be as lucky and end up driving across county, or worse, another county to find a job. I think this is a decision that is different for each family. I am lucky in the fact that my dad is retiring early so he can keep his grandson. :) My husband works from home and can usually have a flexible schedule. I am sure I would look at this differently if I was facing leaving my baby with a daycare or sitter that was a stranger. :( I am blessed to not have to worry about my boy being with someone who loves him almost as much as mommy. :) |
I worked opposite shift from my husband so that we could raise our children. Never could understand why Money is so important in our society. I never wanted my children raised with someone elses values. |
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anyways i'm all alone to find childcare in a town i'm not familiar and i don't trust or know anyone very well around here. so i'm going to have to stay home and/or work PT if I ever do find someone to watch him sometimes. |
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When our first child was born I told my husband that I was going to spend the time between first and second child working my tail off,putting money in the bank and paying off all bills. I was not enduring 9months of feeling fat,labor and delivery for someone else to raise our treasures. They are 22 months apart. I did reach this goal,quit working outside the home after the birth of my second child. I gave up alot but I gained so much more. I am a stay at home mom for 25yrs,been homeschooling this is year 20,our children are 27,25,22,20,18,16,yes you did count six. They have been my fulltime job and I wouldnt trade for anything. I have one left to finish schooling. So I am at the other end of motherhood,no grandchildren as of yet and I am ok with that. I am so enjoying my adult children and getting to do adult things with them. The choise to stay home or continue to work part or full time is very personal. What one woman chooses may not be right for another. Staying home was my personal choise and I feel that my husband blessed by beyond description for supporting me. |
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