Disappointing Mothers Day
 

Dont know why, maybe I just dont know how to Love. I thought I gave them everything they ever needed and put my every need last because I brought these 2 ladies into this world and knew this was my job and first priority.

Not even a Mothers day card and found out they spent the day with their father who was never around growing up.

Dont know why I am bringing this up but I guess I am just feeling sad. It was hard being a single parent but they always had my love, food, shelter, clothes. Made sure they grew up with a religious background. Dont know what I have done but maybe I just suck at being a mother.

Hugs to you

That is very sad. :(

When there is a real problem they always come running back to YOU because they know they will get the unconditional love that you always give to them......and that is what really matters. Nonetheless, it does hurt. :(

I'm so sorry you had a very sad mother's day. I don't know what it is about divorce situations that always seems to bring out hurtful behavior. You had the strength to raise them yourself. That takes a very strong, unselfish person.
My mother went through a horrible marriage, divorce, and then was remarried in under a year to a man who was not to welcoming to me (and still is not after knowing me for decades now). They had a child right away, and when she comes home from another state for a holiday, I am not invited because she wants "alone time" w the parents.
I wish my mother would have had the strength to stand on her own like you did. I am so sorry your daughters do not seem to recognize the strength and courage it took to take that route. Hopefully, someone will come across their path and tell them how hard and unselfish the path you chose really was.

I am so sorry that yesterday was not as it should be. You are correct, you put your everything into them,trained them,cared for them. It is unfortunate when we as mothers put ourselves out there all of the time and our children forget what we gave up for them.
I think that each young adult goes through a very thoughtless and selfish stage,I have 6 and have seen it in most of my children as they have grown. But at some point they seem to turn around and remember that "I" am the one that raised them and spent so much of my time with them. I am not a single parent,but it was agreed that the schooling (homeschool),and disicipling was my job.
In my contacts with you I have found you to be a very kind and caring person. Your children will remember this at some point.
I will be thinking of you today and praying that you will find some joy in the day.
Big Texas HUG to you!

I just wanted to say I'm sorry your day didn't turn out. I'm a single mother as well, and I tend to wonder how I may be perceived in the future. We can only do the best we can. Providing the necessities, love & safety is what we are ultimately called upon to do but many do that and so much more.

As you've already seen in the few minutes since your post people that know you here know you're a great, loving woman. I hope this next day is better than your last.
:hug: Christina & Princess

Even though I have never met you, I trust the lady I live with, and she said that you are the best. So, you can take that to the bank. We all have problems with kids. We have one that only seems to treat us with respect when she needs something. Otherwise, she tends to forget who we are. There are some in each family. You did all you could for them. They will recognize the error of their ways and the hurt they caused you yesterday. You can always to apply to adopt me. I know Marge would have my bag packed and have me booked on a flight to TX. We could Hog Hunt during the day, and go after Varmints at night! You have a good day. Remember, you have a younger daughter and husband that love you, as well as many other people here, and in Illinois. The Brothers think you are #1~

I'm sorry. Do your kids live nearby or far away? I'm a single Mother too and pretty much sacrificed my entire life so my son can have a good one. Yet, I know it's not easy for him either. I hope he realizes I've done my best as I know you did.

I believe they will come around. My Mother and I never got along real well until I had my son - that brought us so much closer together ~ so there is hope.

I hope your girls wake up and realize all that you did for them.

Im sorry you had a bad mothers day. My Husband and I decided we are separating for awhile so I had a bad one too. I know children can be very unappreciative acting sometimes when they dont really mean it. How is your relationship with them at other times?

Lissette - you always seem like one of the most loving people! Maybe they have misdirected anger/blame over the divorce - which would be about them, and not you. I am so sorry you're hurting. You are a wonderful person, and I'm sending hugs.

Oh no :(. I'm *so* sorry to hear this. If you need anything, I'm here...even if you just need a good vent. Lots of hugs to you.

So sorry to hear you had a bad day Lissette. I think your daughters are just going through a selfish stage in their life. They'll come around and will probably be apologizing to you soon.

I am so sorry and i hope that you can make it work

I'm so sorry you had such a disappointing Mother's Day and I can certainly understand your sadness over it. To find out they spent the day with their father is just a double whammy. Hugs to you, and also to Chachi. My dear Mom always used to say, "Better days are coming." I hope that is true for both of you!

I am so sorry to hear that your children were thoughtless on Mother's Day. I have a really strong mother who was there for my brothers and me. My younger brother just does not get how much my mother sacrificed in her life to make sure we had a good start. My parents remained married but had many issues. My mother was the one who held the family together and looked out for us. My dad was always too busy and was absent a lot or just not involved with us. This made his love seem more desirable because he was unavailable. My mothers love was unconditional and therefore taken for granted. Perhaps that is what is happening with your daughters. They are trying to fill the void left by him because of the divorce. They take your love for granted because they know you will always be there for them. They are chasing their dad trying to win his affection and validate themselves. Many kids feel they are some what responsible for their parents breaking up and strive to win the love of the one who shows it the least. It is really sad because your ex knew the day was to honor mothers and he knew that in spending time with his daughters he was taking their attention from you on your day. He is manipulating them through their need to be loved by their Dad which sets up the way they see themselves in relationships with the men they become involved with. I am sorry that your ex made the day about himself and that your daughters do not realize yet how much you have given them so lovingly. It can take years for people to realize how much a parent sacrifices of their own life to give their children a good foundation. Happy Mother's Day to you. You have been a good mother. Sometimes children are too self absorbed, or have not lived enough to understand how difficult being a parent is.

I am sorry to hear that this is happening to you. My best wishes and warmest thoughts to you during this difficult time.

Lissette i wonder sometimes if we do to much for them..i truly understand your hurt i have 4 and 2 of them only bother to come or call when they need me financialy neither of them even called yesterday, so i guess they didn't need anything.

we tried to give our children a much better life than either of us had (raised poor) but sometimes i think now that maybe its better if they don't have to much.

I am sure that you were a wonderful mom so don't sell yourself short :hug:

I agree with Betty. I know you were a great mom to your girls and someday they will probably come to realize all the sacrifices you made for them.
I have boys and they are grown now. My oldest is married and they always spend the holidays with my Daughter in laws family. My youngest is single and he at least called. I didn't hear anything from my oldest yesterday.
We spoiled our boys and gave them everything and I think that is the problem, they don't seem to appreciate what they had. I have always chaulked it up to them being men, but I think the younger generation in general just has had it too easy.

I'm so sorry you went through this, but I'm glad you were strong enough to share your hurt with us, as I think quite a few of us can relate strongly to your feelings. My daughter, who lives with me, always forgets (and my birthday too). Kids can be selfish until they need you. Someday they will 'get it'.

Until they do, ALWAYS rely on your canines, they NEVER forget that EVERY day is Mother's day.
:love:

Even the scripture says there is nothing worse then an ungrateful child...but it is what it is..and next Mothers Day you should plan ahead on visiting a nursing home and ask if there is a mother who is alone and YOU make her day the best ever...do it in the name of your mother if she is in Heaven....

I have had my moments and go to pity parties once in awhile..but when I look beyond ME to others, I always bounce back fast and feel like a million...

Your children will regret their actions at some point....but do not sit around waiting for them to wake up and realize a loving Mother is the best gift God ever gave a person.

I'm very sorry you didn't get any kind of acknowledgement. :(

How old are your kids? Do they generally observe traditions? Do you have a good relationship with them?

This might not be a good idea, but I'm going to throw it out there. Maybe wait a week or two, and then ask them why they didn't send anything. Maybe you need to tell them you'd appreciate a card & a phone call.

If there is another problem, perhaps you can work it out with them. Hugs!

Lissette.. HUGS... remember.. they WILL one day be parents themselves and a bell will go off in thier heads. Wish I was there to give you that hug

I'm so sorry!! the only thing I was thinking was that you said their dad was not around alot so maybe he asked to get together and they "jumped" at the chance to get together with him figuring that they can see you anytime because you are always there? I know my brother-in-law had a really flaky dad and he always jumped at the chance to see him thinking that his dad was really trying and wanted to see him but usually his dad would cancel at the last minute and disappoint him (yet my brother in law kept doing this over and over). Big hugs to you!!! It was so nice to meet you in Texas!!

Oh No, I'm so sorry your day wasn't a happy one. I'm sorry your daughter's did this to you. You have every right to be hurt and sad.
You sound like a WONDERFUL Mom. They will realize this one day.
Sending BIG HUG'S to you.

I feel so sad that your kids weren't there for you yesterday. A few years ago my older son was involved with a girl that I didn't like and he spent Mother's Day and all holidays with her family. It was so hurtful. Now he's back to his old self again (he's not with her anymore). Maybe someone is influencing your daughters. They will come around. Sending you hugs and belated Mother's Day wishes from me and Sammy:animal-pa.

How old are your daughters? I know when I was 17 my mom decided to divorce my Dad. It tore our whole lives apart (in my eyes) and I HATED my mom for it. My Dad was AWWEESSOOMMMEEEE! LOL (again - in my eyes) As a 17 year old child, I was so mad at my mom for tearing my family apart. As a 34 year old WOMAN, I understand exactly why my mom did what she had to do and why she did it. Now my mom lives far away but I make sure to always remember her on mother's day and her birthday and send gifts in the mail, but there were many years I was a young, angry girl who never realized how much my mom sacrificed for me. (and I didn't even need to have kids of my own to realize this) (((HUGS))) they will come around!

Thanks so much for all your encouraging words. My 2 older daughers are 26 and 27. We struggled for a while but I always made sure they had everything they needed in life. The girls where 7 and 8 when I divorced their father. I remarried and my husband has always been their and treated all the girls equal, as a matter of fact on their FB page they both listed him as their father.

My baby is 17 and she is such a joy in my life. She saved her money and bought me some nice gifts and a card and gave me lot's of hugs.

I spent the afternoon with my mentor and took her and her husband out for dinner. They are 83 and 92. It just hurts so much when the other 2 only call me when they need something or to talk. I know I tried to raise strong independent women that could take care of themselves but I think somewhere I left out a step.

Thanks for being here, I feel so much better and Chachi we are all here for you....Love Always, Lissette

Oh my gosh, I'm sooo sorry! :( I hope everything works out for the best. Sometimes the best is not always what we might want in the moment. (((HUGS)))

I think this is what's happening. I think they truely hate my guts. I divorced for them, because my ex was very mean and abusive. I once had fractured ribs and black eyes and had to go to work, so my coworkers have always encourage me and helped me with my self esteem. Maybe they still hold anger inside, I dont know.

Good for you! I'm guessing that your daughters don't have kids themselves? Cos, it seems like we don't appreciate all that was done for us until we have kids ourselves.

I figured the ex was an idiot, when you said the girls spent time with him on Mother's day. What kinda guy doesn't say, "Hey, it's Mother's day! Go see your mom!" ???

Sorry to hear that your oldest weren't considerate and hurt your feelings. It sounds like your youngest was very sweet & thoughtful :) Sometimes the age of each child doesn't correlate with their maturity.