Mom died 5 weeks ago-Today is sad
 

My mother passed away 5 weeks ago. The pain I feel today is almost unbearable. It has been a lonesome day. I visited her gravesite and placed a dozen red roses on it. These were her favorite. As I stood there, I remembered all of those times that I use to bring her roses. It would always make her smile and her eyes lit up like the sunshine, and she would say that she loved me.

I have such good memories of her. She was not only my mother, she was my absolute best friend and confidante.

She told me a few months before she died that she wanted me to be happy and to not ever forget her. She placed her hand on my heart and said that she would always be right there. I can still hear her telling me she loved me. Because she had dementia, she couldn't remember my name.....so she would say, "I love you, girl."

It has been a tough day without her. But, I can hear her sweet voice saying, "I love you, girl."

I know how heartbroken you must be. The first holidays, birthdays etc are almost unbearable. Keep your memories close at hand to help you through. Hugs.

I'm sorry for your pain, but your mom will always be in your heart. I'm sure you are making her proud. I lost my mom many years ago, and I can tell you you will always remember, she will speak to you forever.

Im so sorry for your pain. I know the pain of loosing a loved one, holidays always seem to be hard. Remember the good things, the things you loved.

This is such a difficult day for you and I am sorry that this is a sad time for you. Remember all of your wonderful memories. Your Mom sounds like she was a loving and kind person. Sending hugs to you.

im glad you posted ur thoughts, sometimes that helps a little. can't imagine how tough today was for you. u will always have her in your heart & sounds like you have many memories. sounds like your mom did her job & raised a loving daughter, pass that on in what ever way you can & she will live on. sorry 4 ur loss, give ur pooch a hug & kiss that always helps!

I thought of you a lot today, and I understand how much it hurts. The pain of losing someone as special as your mom is always with you, and Mother's Day is always a difficult day to cope with. It is also a day to cherish all of the beautiful memories and to celebrate a love so dear. Your post really touched me. Your mom was a beautiful force in your life, one that will remain forever. I know the everlasting impact of a mother's love because I can always feel my mother's love, and it also sustains me after 35 years without her. You and your mom gave each other the greatest gift of all, and that is love and devotion. Nothing can ever take that away from you.

Your first Mothers Day without your Mom is really a hard one. I think the first year - with all the 'firsts' is really hard.

But God and time are merciful and slowly that pain will begin to heal. You won't forget ~ but the pain will lessen.

Oh Lila, I knew today would be so hard for you. I lost my mom 6 yrs ago and today my heart hurt, until my thoughts turned to all the wonderful times we had, the amazing love we shared...we too were best friends.
You have many years of memories...draw on them anytime you need to. There is nothing like the love of a mom....nor the loss of one. The one thing I do know...without a doubt, you will see your mom again and she will be waiting with a big smile and open arms.
Hug ))) to you and give Betty Boop some extra kisses. ;)

I am so sorry for your loss. Its hard anyway and espically around holidays. My daughter-in-law lost her mother last Saturday and its been a sad Mother's Day for her too. Like you said, remember the good times and all the times she said she loved you and time does heal, it just takes time. Bless you!!

Thank you, everyone, for your kind words. I know time will heal and it will get better. Yes, I have a zillion wonderful memories to draw on when I think of her.

I hope each and everyone of the YT mothers had a wonderful Mother's Day.

:hug: I am so sorry for your pain. I know from my own life it is a very hard thing to deal with. People say it gets easier, but I beg to differ. I think it gets harder. ( I lost my father in 2002) So many things that have happened in my life that I wish he was here to expierence with me, or want to tell him. All I can tell you is to keep all the memories close to you. I was having a really hard time with things, so I started to write a journal just on my Father, I write every night a certian thing I loved about him or a memory I have of him.

Try to stay strong in this time of pain, and know that she will always be around you.

A journal is a good idea. My dad died in 2006. That is when I started caregiving my mother. I find myself at times, just for a fleeting minuscule second, wanting to pick up the phone and talk to him. Old habits are hard to break.

awww sweetie... I'm so very sorry yesterday was so hard. Your pain is still so fresh right now. (((HUGS))) You are such a sweet daughter to bring your mom roses.

You were in my thoughts yesterday..you have precious memories to hold to
big hugs to you

You made it thru the day. Yes, time is the best healer. What you experienced yesterday is normal and part of the grieving process. Lost my Mom 3 years ago, and a daughter coming up to 15 years ago. Birthdays, weddings that we attend, parties, still hard, but bearable. You have a great week.

I am so sorry for your loss. I know some days are harder than others but please remember, that hole in your heart will close and you will be filled with wonderful memories. I lost mom when I was around 19. The hole in my heart is now filled but every now and then it reopens. Keep yourself busy and help someone that may need you. This will help fill the void in your life. God Bless You....Love Lissette

Lila, sending hugs and prayers your way. I sincerely hope that you will find the happiness that your Dear Mother wished for you. I can promise that one day you will be able to close the door on the sadness and open the door to all of the happy memories.....

I can tell from the posts that everyone truly understands what it is like to lose someone so close. Thank you for your posts. It helps to read them. I'm so sorry for all of your losses, too. I know it must get easier down the road. I'll hold her memories close to my heart forever. And, yes, I made it through yesterday, which was a big step for me.

It helps as much as it can. I broke down the other day b/ c I feel myself forgetting memories. I would give anything to talk to him or feel a hug from him, but that is something we have to deal with. I just try to think that he is around me all the time, even if I can't see him, sometimes I feel his presents around me and I talk outloud, hoping to see a sign that he is there.

If you ever need to talk, or someone to vent to let me know, I'm always a PM away!

I'm so sorry Lila, and I did think of you yesterday. Mother's Day is a hard day for me since I lost my Mom and it's been four years now and I still miss her each and every day. Hugs to you, dear friend. Your Mom was so blessed to have you, as you were to have her!

I lost my Mother when I was barely 20...my husband had his Mother AND Father all his life..well into his 60's..there is no greater gift then loving parents...I am so sorry for your loss...your Mother was blessed to have you as a loving daughter...

You are very lucky to have had that kind of relationship with your mom and that she gave you such wonderful memories. Some people go through their entire lives and never have any good memories to hold on to. You are very blessed to have such a wonderful and loving mother. :hug:

When I think about my children that is the way that I want them to always remember me too.

Twenty is so young to lose a mother. I was blessed to have both of my parents well into their 80s. I was blessed to have such loving parents. All of my life, I NEVER heard them have an argument, say curse words, or get agitated with each other. Sounds too good to be true, I know, but that was how it was.

God was surely good to me to give me such a wonderful life with wonderful parents, that's for sure.

I'm sure your children will remember you as a loving mother.

I also thought of you yesterday. We both lost a parent 4 years ago. I also think of my dad everyday. I hope your Mother's Day was a wonderful day for you.

She did and she always will. I am so sorry this must be so difficult for you. At least you were blessed with a wonderful relationship and you were able to tell each other how much you loved each other.

You were so young when you lost your mother. I'm sorry. I'm sure the sadness will turn to happiness one day, but I also think that a little sadness will always be there. However, I have a zillion wonderful memories of her that fill my heart with joy.

It's glad you mentioned finding someone that may need me. I am now helping take care of my aunt (mother's sister) who is the last one of their family to pass away. She 83 and in a nursing home. I always thought I would have her to talk to when my mother passed away, but she was at home one day and her wheelchair tumbled backyards. She hit the back of her head very hard on the floor. Long story short. Brain hemorrhage, loss of memory, almost the same condition my mother was in!! So sad! Not to mention her doctor gave her a wrong diagnosis of arthritis about 10 years ago (was really cancer) and she ended up with having to have one leg amputated. So this poor woman is in bad shape. She still remembers me but just can't find the words at times. Anyways, I see that she gets her hair fixed, buy her new gowns and other clothes, etc etc etc. She looks like my mother, too!! Well, I've prattled on enough. :)

I'm working on finding that happiness. I think a long 2 week vacation would help. :) We're trying to figure out a vacation that is dog friendly. I'm not leaving her behind. We have a RV so I guess the road will be our friend.

Not really sure why my mother said that about the happiness. I guess that is what all mothers want for their children for the rest of their lives.

I am so sorry for your loss, hugs to you.

It sounds like you two shared some wonderful times together. Hugs to you.