15 year old son not interested in driving
 

I cannot get my 15 year old to take his driver's permit test! What is up with that? I could not WAIT to get my driver's license, etc.

I'm not sure if he is afraid of failing it or if he thinks I'm going to turn him loose and quit doing anything for him when he starts driving. Our neighbor frequently talks about how she doesn't cook; that her son could drive and get his own meals, etc. I've assured him that I'm not going to do that . . . .

Do you think he's just not ready?

I'm just afraid that I won't be able to get him to all his early morning practices this summer with my work schedule.

Does he do well in school? Maybe he thinks he won't pass the test?
You could get a few booklets from the DMV and tell him if he wanted to read them he could. Is there a driving(simulator) class at his school?

Maybe take him "Car-looking". Does he get a car when he gets his license??

Maybe he's counting on his friends to give him rides...or that his friends will ask him and he knows that gas is super expensive?

You could polish up his bike and say "Looky here....since you don't want to drive, you'll have to ride this to all your practices this summer."

Maybe he is nervous about the huge responsibility that comes with driving. I would ask him what he sees as the pros and cons of getting his permit and maybe that will give you some idea. I didn't get my DL until I was 25! lol I didn't have access to a car and loved to walk everywhere.

There are usually practice tests online. In fact, in Florida, I think they can take their permit test online. So, at least you could see if that has anything to do with his reluctance. I would want to find the reason. Most kids are chomping at the bit to get the permit and more importantly the license. You will want to help him with any worry he might have about driving, the test, or just the idea of so much responsibility and independence. Maybe he is thinking about it in more depth than most. There really is a LOT to consider but most just think -- "YES I get to drive!" But he may have a particular worry about driving itself. Best to find out what it is and offer your help. I would start by finding time when you can ask him privately about his concerns. If he doesn't open up, you may have to try to offer some possible reasons and then try to cover them even if he doesn't claim a particular fear or concern.

Has he been shy or timid in any other things? Was he eager to start school, begin, middle and high schools? Is he interesting in dating? Some just are a little less happy with change of any kind. Does he know of any older friend that had a bad accident? Has he ever been in an accident with someone else driving? The fear of an accident can be a big deterrant to wanting to drive. My grandma did not want to learn, but my encouraged her and taught her. In the first month with her license, she was sitting at a red light and someone came from behind and hit her. It was not a bad accident, but it was enough, that she did not want to ever drive again and she didn't. But it could be something entirely different so better to find out from your son what is on his mind.

As much as it does help to have another driver in the family, I found I missed driving mine around. Those were our catch-up times, to hear about their day and what plans they had. Once they started driving on their own, it was hard to pin them down for conversations, especially during each sport season! My youngest was into everything, so getting any chunk of time with him on a consistent basis was tough after he started driving himself. It still is! So maybe you don't want to rush him too much. ;)

Good luck!

I'd say he's lacking confidence or is afraid of failing the test. He'll come around I'm sure. Just take him out and give him lots of practice and soon you'll be having to hide the keys! But in the mean time...count your blessings. I've been through 3 teenage girls learning to drive and our last child just turned 14...whew, can't believe I survived the 3!!!

I remember a long, long, long time ago (ha) my Mom had to practically beg me to take the driver's test. I have no idea why I was not interested, but she said it was because I was getting plenty of rides everywhere and did not feel motivated. Not sure why your son is not interested, but do take that into consideration too. :)

My daughter is going through this very same thing,my GD is 16 and is very bright
she excels in school has always had straight A's except 1 B her freshman yr
and that really upset her...but she has no interest in driving i told my D she should not push her to much maybe she is afraid i don't know...sometimes it is like a zoo out there in traffic...probably when they are older they will change their minds

He doesn't seem interested in dating; he's a swimmer and spends all of his time in the water. 2 1/2 hours a day; six days a week. Seems to be pretty much all he cares about.

He does make good grades in school . . . maybe he is concerned about the responsibility.

He has a brand new Jeep Compass sitting here in the driveway just waiting for him; it's his Grandad's car and he is going to give it to Matt. He might be a tad worried that he will be reponsible for driving his Grandad everywhere!

I've tried to talk to him about it but he won't really say. I'll try again.

I'm a claim adjuster who investigates auto accidents with injury; he's seen some pretty grusome photos . . . . perhaps I have made him paranoid! I mean I wanted him to be a little scared and cautious about driving but maybe I talk too much about what I see every day.

Last thing you want to do is push the issue. I doubt he is afraid of failing a test. Heck, here is Illinois we have drivers that can't speak english, that are not citizens, and those that bribe the State Examiners. Give him time.

Speaking for myself, I could not ait to be 16 so I could drive. Got my license the day I turned 16. Been anti-climatic after that day. Give him some time. Mayhe he knows he is not ready, maybe not.

So...mine is 17 years old, has his permit but won't make his appointment for the last road test through drivers ed, to get his certificate so that he can go get his license. My husband has been "pushing" him to go and get it but he will do it when he is ready. My son is a great kid, he is quite and shy. No girlfriends, no school dances he is a home body. I figure when he thinks he is ready he will go do it. I would love for him to be able to drive himself places...but part of me is grateful for knowing where he is at all times. He also isn't the greatest driver yet...so he keeps practicing and I think when he has enough confidence in his own ability...he will just do it, when it is right for him.

I did not drive until I had to take responsibility of the kids I just did not want to no reason but i could get wear i wanted on the bus and i loved to walk even in the snow so I had no reason to want a car I was 21 before i started to drive

My oldest didn't get her permit till she was 18. She wasn't ready and I wasn't going to make her do it. My middle daughter was there the day she turned 16. She had saved enough money to buy her first car and pays her own insurance. She is a planner and saver. Now my son who is the youngest turned 16 two weeks ago, hasn't even shown any interest at all. I will just wait until he shows interest and take it from there. I wouldn't push. It is a big responsibility.

I wasn't like super motivated to get my drivers license at first. I was right at the age when we were allowed to get our permit (I think 15 and 9 months) when my little brother died though, so it kind of put a halt on my life, to be honest. I ended up not getting my license 'til I was already over 17... I think I was in the middle of my senior year. Once I was being driven to school by my mom senior year, that's when I became motivated to get my license! Lol. All my friends already had theirs, and so I just decided I needed to DO it. To be honest, I failed my test twice because I couldn't parallel park for the life of me! LOL. After the second fail, I was really discouraged. But I did it...

My son was 15 in March 2009 but got his learners permit in June. He was too lazy to study for the test. In Georgia you have to take a 30 hour driving course, have 6 hours of actual driving with an instructor and a Drug and Alcohol Awareness program before you can get your license. He got his license in June 2010. Also in Ga. the driver can't have any passengers except family for the first 6 months and only 1 passenger for the next 6 months. My son was so excited that the law allows him to have a passenger but we won't allow it. We also have a no texting or talking on the phone law if you are under 18. Your son may just need more time, my son has friends that still aren't driving. There is a lot of pressure on kids now. It is very convenient that my son can drive to Football practice and other places, but it scares me to death and all I can do is Pray that he will be ok and come home safe.

Thank you all for sharing your experiences. I feel better now and won't push him if he's not ready.

Brit, I'm sorry to hear about your little brother. My older brother was killed in a car accident at a very young age; it's like a dark shadow over the whole family.

He just might be scared and sticks to what he's comfortable with, which is swimming. I didn't get my license till I was 20 because I was scared of failing the test. The only reason I got it was because I HAD to. I started working and my dad couldn't drive me to work and school. Now, I'm addicted to driving. If I can't drive my little speedster for a day or two, I get into a funky mood. Who knew?

Many moons ago when I was going into the 10th grade, I had to have my learner's permit to take driver ed. I turned 15 in March of "75 and still didn't test for my permit until June or July. I had had a bad experience when I was younger and my Dad was teaching me to drive. Long story short, at one time during the training session with him in our farm field, he panicked and reached his foot over to reach the brake and hit the gas instead. We went thru a barbed wire fence and messed up our family car! Left a bad taste in my mouth for driving, so wasn't in in any hurry after that. I failed my written test twice before passing-just in time for 1st semester drivers ed. Low and behold, when I turned 16 I passed my driving test with flying colors! Sometimes it just takes something important enough for the person to "buck up" and try!:p

MY youngest son was not interested in driving or even owning his own car till he moved to San Diego to go to the Art Institute and he had no choice but to get his license. He was 20. He is now 34 and still isn't interested in driving. He lets his wife do it unless he has no choice. ;)

My daughter is 15 and refusing to take her test for the permit, too. She says she has no interest in driving. I don't get it, I couldn't wait to drive when I was her age. She says that because we live out in the sticks, there isn't any place to drive to any way.

I had no interest in driving until I was 21...always had great public trans until then...
..and, my grandfather never learned to drive his entire life...lived in the city until retired to Florida and my Grandmother did all the driving...
I think everyone should learn, get a license, then drive if they want...

Great Advise! He will let you know when he is ready. My oldest got her Drivers License when she turned 16, the next day she totaled her car.

If you say he's a home-body, he could just not care about driving if he has no where to go. He could be lazy too; maybe he doesn't want to study or have the responsibilities.


Now me on the other hand, I was getting my permit the day I turned 15-1/2 & I got my license the day I turned 16. I couldn't wait!! And I passed both the first time. :D

Same here! I was in the car waiting on my 16th Birthday. How far are you from Lawton? I went to the Basic Officer Artillery Class at Ft. Sill many years ago. The Corps doesn't have its own school. Great school, and loved the time spent there.

I'm sorry to hear of your brother. :( It really does put a damper on pretty much everything in a family. It's been almost 5yrs, but we're still struggling. My brother was almost 6yrs old when he drowned at a public pool - lifeguards did not properly save him, and we went through a lawsuit, trial, etc, so it seemed never ending.

I have a cousin who was NOT interested in driving until she went away to college. She, for whatever reason, was not ready. No one in my family pushed her, and she was ready in her own time. She was 18 when she got her license, and she doesn't drive a ton, but she can at least get to where she needs to go now.

Maybe when his friends are getting their permits/licenses, he will be more motivated to drive. That sure motivated me!

Well I hope so KD! I'm not going to push him BUT he has swim practice EVERY DAY during my work hours. Right now,we have a carpool but I think the girl we carpool with is going to quit swimming.

And then I don't know if I will be able to leave work early - every day - to get him to practice.

During summer, they practice in a long course pool - fairly far away; I just worry I won't be able to do it on my own. But he's aware of this so maybe planning on hitching rides?? I'm hoping!

Oh Brit; I'm so sorry. That is horrible and so sad and tragic.

My daughter was in a car accident at age 17 that left her a paraplegic and a 17 yr old boy that was in the backseat was killed...Alot of her friends did not get their permit/driving license either...It really made them realize what could happen....I think it is showing alot of maturity for a young person to say "I am just not ready" however, in the state of Virginia those kids that don't get their license by age 18 have to then wait until they are 21 to get them,,,I do not think this is fair and have been working with the Judge to try to get this law changed....at least in this county....you might want to check to see if this is the case in your area...if it is then I would suggest to him to just get the license but that he does not have to drive until he feels ready....good luck.

I'm so sorry that your daughter was in such a terrible accident. As a claim adjuster, I have seen many bad things; fought back tears as I met with a family that had just lost a son or daughter.

I agree that law is not fair. What's the purpose? Glad you are working on it

I know what you mean.... I sell insurance, and to see people adding a youthful driver with low limits just make me cringe...and they get the whole story and for all of you with young drivers.... talk to your agents....we had a half million dollar policy that paid out in full....and if you have ANY assets the lawyers know your worth before they call...your retirement accounts, homes and future earnings can be taken....be sure you are properly covered....They valued his life at $392,000, believe me, my daughters life is worth much much more that that....just something for each of you to think about...