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Oh, I do have to tell a sweet story though.... the kids in my after-school program always ask after I tell them I am married which doesn't bother me because they are just curious kids, but one 1st grade little girl asked me if I had kids and I said, "No, not yet." and she goes, "Well, you are going to be a good mom." Awwww. I told her that she just made my day :) |
I would never have the nerve to ask anyone when they are having kids :eek:I was married at 20 and had two kids by 23 and my last son when I was 30. How can anyone ask a question like that especially if you don't know the person. You don't know what kind of situation the person is in , my friend could not get pregnant due to cervix cancer and when people would ask her about children she would just cry :( I felt so awful for her. One day a woman asked her and she turned around and said when well are you expecting your baby :eek: the woman was a heavy set woman and for sure was not pregnant, but the woman's face dropped to the floor. I told my friend what she did was rude and wrong, but I understood she was just so upset and lost control of her emotions. I think the lady didn't mean to hurt her or be rude , but again you just don't ask those questions to strangers or people you don't know well enough. It's nobody's business , having kids is a personal choice and I would never ask that . I guess that is another thing I was taught as a child. :) |
something else annoying is when you DO have kids and you aren't married. 40% of births are to single mothers - and no, single mothers doesn't mean poor mothers or teen mothers. i was a "single mother" before i got married, even though i was very much involved and supported by my now husband. everyone would ask, "when are you getting married?" or "why aren't you married?" i would say, "people get married for two reasons -religious or financial. we aren't religious, and until one of us has a financial benefit, there's no reason." that was the truth! our truth, anyway. insurance - inheritance - etc. now we're married - and if he dies - my kids and i will be okay. signing those papers didn't change a thing emotionally- i don't feel any different than i did for the 6 years we were together beforehand. all it did was save a legal battle if something bad happens. |
I'm 28...been married since September, but we've been together for five years now. No skin kids yet. Morgan was my hubby's first test since he's never really been around kids. Probably another year or so until we try for a skin kid since I just got a major promotion at work. |
I'm 38, been married 10 years. My husband has two kids, so I have two stepchildren. I get the "aren't you having any of your own?" which is infinitely rude. |
Wow, this is a thread that really fits me! :) I'm 25 and I will have been married for four years in May. My husband and I started dating when I was a junior in high school, so we've been committed for almost nine years. People who know us tend to expect us to have had kids by now. My mom is an absolutely wonderful mother, and while we do talk about my future children, it's only when I bring it up and she never pesters. However, she's about the only one who is that respectful!! My husband is finishing up grad school while trying to gain experience in his field at a job he doesn't particularly love (hoping to move on up soon) and currently we're living in a mediocre 2 bedroom duplex in a town I don't really care for that is two hours away from my family. Not an ideal place for raising kids, in my opinion. There's a very good chance that we will be moving again within two years, if my husband gets a better job offer and moving is hard enough without a young child. Also, I recently had iodine radiation treatment on my thyroid and I have to wait at least a year before trying for kids as it can be dangerous for the baby. June will be one year, but the longer I wait, the less worry there is for a kid. Basically making sure that all the radiation is out of my system and that my thyroid hormone is regulated. Now...can't you just see me trying to explain this to a family member, let alone a stranger or new co-worker?? And this is the short version!!! I'm also, as others have said, a pretty selfish person. I know that raising a child is a huge sacrifice and I want to be prepared for that before I bring a little person into this world that is my responsibility. My Yorkie is definitely my "surrogate" child at the moment. Pictures and stories that most adults have of their kids, I have of my dog! Now my other worry is that I do want kids, and I'm scared of waiting too long to have them...I don't really want to be 50 when they graduate high school or something. I just keep hoping and praying that everything falls into place at the right time!! So, since I do want at least one child (no more than two), I don't really get offended when people ask about children. But...as you can see above, when asked, I have a very verbose explanation. Most people who are asking don't really care. It's like the Wal-Mart cashier asking "How are you?"; she doesn't really want to know, it's just a polite social response. I feel like...if you don't really care about the full answer then don't ask the question. At least on a forum, you guys can choose not to read the answer if you're not interested and I'll never know! :D -C |
UGH! Yes, all the time. Chris and I have been married almost 4 years and people are ALWAYS asking me when we are having kids. I always say either I am too selfish for kids or that Chris wants them and I don't (both of which are true). I mean my family understands and they are more willing to accept the fact that I may never have kids. Most of my friends have one or more kids already and they are always asking me when I am having kids. I find it so rude -- its really no one's business. Haha, sometimes I do say "Oh didn't you hear? I have a kid" And show them a picture of Maddy. Then they really think I am a crazy one who probably SHOULDNT have kids! :eek: |
Oh yeah! We have been married almost 10 years. I am 29 and I get asked at least once a week by someone if I am going to have kids, when am I going to have kids, or are we trying to have kids!! I usually answer, Maybe someday, if it's in God's will. I always LOVE (rolling my eyes) when I get the follow up question "Now, how old are you?" I totally agree with you Bianca. This is a question I NEVER ask anyone, I bug my sis about it just b/c....she's my sis :) |
I've been married almost four years with no kids. I'm perfectly content without them right now, but if God wants me to have them then I will. I'd love to have kids one day, but I'm leaving it up to God. Chip and Smokey are our kids. :-) |
I'm 26 and haven't even been married for a year...when I get those inevitable questions I answer "I'm a teacher, that's great birth-control!" It shuts them up pretty quick! |
Married Dec 05, dont have kids and completely happy without them. I got my man and my furkids. Good enough for me! If God blesses me with a baby so be it, I havent been on birth control for 3 years. If I dont, I am content. It doesnt consume my thoughts because I am happy where I am. On another note, it completely ANNOYS me when people automatically think I should have kids. YES, I am 37 and I dont have kids. SO WHAT!!!! |
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I'm 42, no kidlets. I think life can feel "complete" for different people, in different ways. Me and hubby don't feel incomplete bc we don't have kids - but I really didn't like the automatic assumptions that we "must" have kids, especially right after we were married....that doesn't fit the way I think at all. Plus, I don't want to burden any offspring with the crappy history of my family tree either :p. |
I don't have kids either. I'm the one where at every family get together I get asked, if I'm married yet, if not where's my boyfriend, when am I going to have a boyfriend, do I have kids, when am I going to have kids and so on. I don't let it bother me too much anymore. I just tell everyone that I've made the choice not to have children, they then ask me why whats wrong. Nothing wrong, just I've chosen not to have any. My sister has four and I'm completely happy being an aunt. :) I can spoil them and send them home. lol. |
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