Mary,

Welcome, first of all!
I did not respond in your first post from the other day, but I did go back and try and re-read everything.
I have been a member YT for a few years now and LOVE it!
Do I always agree with all of the other posters, comments, threads, etc.., NO, but that's the point. This is a forum for sharing knowledge, education, opinions, stories, photos, etc..
The problem with a forum online is you really never know the intentions of someone coming to post. The vast majority on YT have the best of intentions, but not all do.
Plenty of us have mixed breed Yorkies, have not always bought from the best breeder, etc.., but I REALLY have to disagree that anyone is not accepted or welcomed for that reason!
I think the problem comes about when people who are looking to buy and/or breed mixed dogs post and when people try and educate & get info out there, the threads can go south quickly.
This is a Yorkie forum and breeding is a touchy area. Many on here believe that if you love Yorkies and are looking to breed, it should be for the betterment of the breed & to breed to standard.
A lot of people read and/or post that are looking to buy a Yorkie and really want to learn what to look for in a breeder and who they should stay away from.
There are so many puppymills, bybs, etc.. and there are so many red flags and buzz words that breeders use to sell dogs. Not everyone knows that and find this information valuable.

In your original post there were "red flags" & "buzz words" that people pointed out and that is where things took a turn, IMO.
I realized you started the thread, but you never know who is reading it and will learn from it and many posters respond with that in mind.
There is valuable information all over YT, there are wonderful members and a great sharing of stories and I hope you will read through the different forums and threads and discover that!
You will not always agree with people, but the great thing is you have the opportunity to join and add to the discussion or you can just ignore a post and move on!

Reese1...:thumbup::thumbup: that was so well said

I am fairly new to YT and am certainly not part of any "in crowd" someone described and havent even noticed one. Sure there are long time members who seem to know each other but that is the same anywhere, its nice to see people have used this board to form friendships.

Anyway, I have learned so much from this forum about yorkies in general and about specific issues that have come up with my little ones. There is such a wealth of knowledge on this board, its amazing. I dont think anyone should join a new place expecting it to change. I joined the place BECAUSE I like it and I hope it stays the same. The people here LOVE the yorkie breed and do everything they can to educate everyone on this breed.

I'm fairly new also, and this is the most well-mannered, courteous, and helpful forum I've seen on any subject.

I am new also
 

I have to say.When i posted my first thread everyone was very nice.No one was rude..i felt very welcomed. { THANK YALL }.I do agree some could be a little nicer.After all we are all here because we love our furbabys..I also agree that people should stop with the words such as,teacup ,designer,pocket, and so on.Because when it turns out the dog is 10 lbs and not 3 lbs the breeder said, their not happy with it .I think the change should start with these back yard breeders ,their the ones that are breeding every thing under the sun. Let me say, welcome and im glad you stayed.your babys are very pretty.

Take the good, leave the bad...and laugh about everything in between. See the responses for what they are and consider the source.

I agree with the Op , I think she wanted to share her babies and was bombarded, someone even wanted the Name of her breeder. WHY? so they could post bad stuff about this breeder without having ever met her? Her breeder is between her and herself. I was totally appalled at what took place in that thread to a newbie. There is a right and wrong way to go about getting information out. Berating people is not my idea of productive information, its cruel and unnecessary. You can give the same advice in a nice manner rather than try to bully them into submission.

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

She actually posted her breeders name with no prompting from anyone, it was right there in the link she provided... if she wanted to keep her breeders name to herself she has every right.... but no one asked her for it, she just provided it, which is also her right.

:welcome4: :yorkietal Welcome Mary :yorkietal :welcome4:

Mary, I just re-read my post and realized that I failed to welcome you to YorkieTalk. I do hope you decide to stay and become a positive influence and contributor/poster. I agree that positive changes are always coveted, but it is nearly impossible to join an establishedd group of 60,000 plus people and immediately decide that the group needs to change.

Every member here at YT should feel free to post their thoughts without the fear of being bashed. Sometimes when we feel like we are being bashed we are really experiencing an exchange of opposing ideas without which learning cannot take place. Each of us is the sum total of all of our life experiences - and we act/react in response to what life has taught us.

I also agree that there are posters that so seem to present their views a bit harshly. However, as long as they stay within the established posting rules of YT, then they have the right to voice their opinion. If and when a poster is out of line, YT has a process to follow - a process that is clearly outlined in the posting rules.

On a closing note - if there really is an "in" crowd, it doesn't seem to be related to # of posts or tenure -- it has to do with being involved and reaching out to members that you feel a connection with.

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

First, let me say, Welcome to YT!

Secondly, let me say , spot on Breezeway.

Thirdly, let me say, the only thing worth getting upset over is puppymills and unethical BYBs. Everything else is solvable provided we have the education, and ethical standards ,that allow each of us to vocalize our own opinions and beliefs without fear of belittlement.

Sometimes, change is good!

On another note
 

I think once a thread has been closed.It should stay closed .I think once a member has said she/he is sorry then we should move on .I hope this is not a come back that is gonna turn into a harsh debate. Lets all smile .

Absolutely AMAZING!!!! and all I am trying to get across!!! THANK YOU for sharing this and for "getting" what I am trying to do and say here!!! I appreciate you so much!! Look forward to getting to know YOU and people like you better!!! :-)

After being on here for a while, I think I understand better why some older posters get frustrated trying to save people from the same problems over and over and over again. I'm talking primarily about people who come to the site having already decided to buy a puppy without realizing that their breeder is disreputable. It is really hard to see so many people refuse to accept that by buying a dog from a bad breeder, they are perpetuating the cruel cycle of puppy mills and our huge shelter problem.

That being said, I think maryeverett1 kind of got mugged. She was just trying to show off her puppies, and while some people were nice, she WAS accused of being an animal hater AND a puppy broker. That is completely over the line.

Some of it is just the internet. In real life, people tend to back off sensitive topics, and we have a whole set of facial cues and vocal tones to help diffuse arguments. On the web, people tend to overestimate the tact of their post, AND also tend to take things more personally. So there is always a tendency for conversations to spin out of control, because everyone posting feels like, "I just said something perfectly reasonable, and this other poster attacked me out of the blue!"

I think a good rule of thumb is, if you're posting something that might be construed as critical, take time to make it nicer than you think is necessary; and if you read a post you feel is critical of you, recognize that it's probably not as personal as it seems.

I don't always follow that rule, but still, it's a good one, don't you think? ;)

Finally, this is a big one that drives me crazy: just because someone is rude to you, it does not give you an excuse to be rude to them. You can only control the tone of your OWN posts. Give the respect you want to get.

And yes, we're all here because we love yorkies! :) So no matter how crazy/rude/clueless someone might seem to be, we all have that in common.

I was talking about Lee B in my above comments and thanking her for her post! Still trying to figure out all the ways this site works! I also just wanted to say that I do not think it is necessary to go all around the site and "get to know how the rude people post and their personalities!" Rude is rude and I will never accept that as the "norm" anywhere! I also have no intention of getting advice from or getting to know anyone who treats a human bad but a furry friend good. The humans are the ones in charge of this precious breed so somewhere in here the connection needs to be made that people skills are absolutely necessary and essential to imparting knowledge! Like Lee B said...no one will stick around long enough to learn if they are abused in the process! I am not trying to change anyone's opinion because everyone certainly has the right to theirs! But we can have opinions without doing it in an obnoxious, abusive, mean, confrontational way! Just want people to think before they write! The other day I was not asking for clarification on my dogs or breeder, I was not asking for anyone's help, or advice! I had just come on to say hi and introduce myself and my dogs. I did not realize it at the time but a couple of the words I used were "red flags and buzz words" according to a senior member I spoke to via phone last night at great length! Had someone explained that to me instead of just bashing me, my dogs and my breeder and done it in a non attacking non confrontational manner things might have been very different! But because I didn't agree with their opinion of me and my breeder (which I still don't and was baseless and without merit in my opinion) egos were seriously ruffled! I liken it to President Obama getting all hot and bothered and rolling around in the mud in anger and making a fool of himself because some city council member of a small town in anywhere USA doesn't agree with him, his standards, new legislation etc. How stupid would he look??? He is the president!!! He knows the rules, he knows the country...it wouldn't matter what that little city council member said somewhere! He might give his opinion kindly and with class and move on! So if you are a senior member, a long time breeder and you know everything there is to know about yorkies why would you bash someone over the head because they don't agree with you or they see things differently or God forbid have a real question that sounds stupid to you?? Just be helpful and if they don't agree with you go on about your life and Yorkie causes! The only instance where I could see where it could be okay to get that angry, irate and confrontational would be if someone is on here for devious purposes, hurting the breed or puppies or trying to sell dogs in a manner that is wrong! The situation the other day was not what that was!!! I had an opinion about my breeder and my dogs that these people did not like, they couldn't convince me otherwise and they went bananas on me for it! CAN YOU SAY BIG EGO??? Just like you are entitled to your opinion I am entitled to mine. Its a 2 way street! I was also told last night that I need to earn the respect of senior members? Where does it say that in the rules of this site because I certainly have not read that! Earning respect is a 2 way street! I always treat others with respect but that does not mean I will respect your opinion until you show that you care about mine (not agree with it but respect my right to have one) and are able to tolerate it being different from yours and still treat me with civility! There needs to be respect for one another on this site regardless and the only qualifications for that should be if the people involved love their dogs, love yorkies as a breed and want to become better owners/breeders/yorkie people! and that is the bottom line...period. Thank you to everyone who has been supportive of this thread and willing to personally not put up with this any longer. We cannot change anyone but ourselves but if we make the commitment that we personally will not behave that way or tolerate others that do change WILL come!!!

Fabulous post Quicksilver!!!! Amazing!!! So insightful and every word true and I will for sure be taking that to heart!!

For someone who asked...I am not a politician and I didn't vote for the person we have in there now (not that I fault anyone who did, again just my personal choice) but certain people were insinuating that I was using that line ("Change") because of that...I was not. I just used him as an example because he is our current president...

*LOL* Love It!

I not a politician but I am however a stay at home mom with 2 small girls (4, 6.5) I own my own design business (interior and personal styling) and I am part of a generation that believes anything is possible and that we can change the world!! When I see things that are wrong, unjust etc I believe that nothing can be personally lost by at least trying to make it better!! I have 3 yorkies who I love dearly and hoped when I got on this site I would find a place where people feel the same! I am glad that some of you have no idea what we are all talking about but the theme running through this thread seems to be echoed over and over so that must mean there is some truth to what has been said!

Thomas J...I am not happy with the certain "change" you were talking about either. But we won't go there. You have a friend in me where that is concerned!!!

I really need to take a deep breath and try to compose myself before beginning to even respond to where you are coming from with this thread. I mean this with the utmost respect but have you read the rules of this forum before you decided to post :confused:

Here is a link:
http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/gen...uidelines.html

This is one of my favorite threads on YT. I think it addresses perfectly how many members feel.

http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/gen...d-respect.html

You can always try for change but if people don't want to change then you can't really change their minds.

You need to realize that this is a public forum with many many yorkie owners from all around the world. They all have different views, opinions and styles. What works for one doesn't work for another. What may be rude to one isn't to another. It sucks but it is reality and life. The world as a whole has become much more mean without taking others feelings into consideration before speaking or typing.

I do believe sometimes things may come off a little more harsh on the internet. One may read something and take it a different way then it is intended to be. I know I have been in that situation even posting with friends on MSN or facebook. The truth is that nobody can hear the tone in your voice, it's all typing and reading. It's left for the imagination.

Being on here I've learned to just grow a tougher skin. I think before I post things and I am always ready for the rude comments. Usually I like to say IF YOU DON'T have nothing nice to say DON'T SAY IT. I have had to put that a few times because you always get those who judge or those who have something up their behind. LOL

I went on a bull terrier forum trying to learn about breeding and I was bashed so bad. When I posted on their about the possible accidental death of my beloved first yorkie they all called me stupid and what kind of idiot are you. People are very hurtful. Usually those people who are so hurtful thrive on putting people down. They put you down to bring themselves up.


Just to add here. I know some of the members who posted in your thread are not mean people. They are very well educated breeders that take much pride in the yorkie breed. Dogs can't speak so sometimes they advocate for them, it may come off mean but really it is all in good faith. You wouldn't believe how many weirdos come on here.

:eek::cool:

Really, rude people??? This is America, (and the whole cyber-world) Can't we all just get along, or move on!!!
Perception, is EVERYTHING!!!!!!

Good luck to you!

Megansmomma: Why is it necessary for me to "have read the rules" (which I have btw) to comment on poor, uncivilized and unacceptable behavior?? That is facinating!!!! I was not being oversensitive if you go back and read the thread "new white yorkie" you might understand and if you don't then I'm sorry. If you aren't a person that feels that change is needed you are entitiled to your own opinion and I guess move about your day!!! I am speaking to the people who do feel that something needs to change! and obviously there are a ton of them! Again, everyone is entitled to there own opinion that is the point here! We need to allow everyone to voice that opinion along with questions (that might sound stupid to a pro) in order to get educated! The educators can educate all of us with civility and kindness! Am I in the twilight zone? This doesn't seem like a difficult concept to get! Thank you to those who identify with what I am saying and have been supportive of what I am trying to express. Someone warned me earlier that I may be black listed on YT for doing this! Can I just say that I don't care!!! I'm not worried about that! I have a great base of support, a fantastic vet, knowledgeable yorkie friends and people I can go to for advice. I am worried about the people that don't have that and YT is their only means of getting support and the dogs that depend on those owners finding that support here!!!

:) Thanks..
I read your post from the other day. I knew where it was headed. I am just so sorry you encountered that on your first post.
I'm not sure if people realize how they sound..or if they just don't care.:confused:

I love your babies. They are precious! :aimeeyork

""Megansmomma: Why is it necessary for me to "have read the rules" (which I have btw) to comment on poor, uncivilized and unacceptable behavior?""

I am an old guy, kids grown and gone. Just the wife and the 2 dogs. I am still the same person I was when I was younger, but to my kids, I am smarter now than when they were in their teens and early 20's.
\
After reading every old post on your 1st Post, no one was what I would call rude or uncivilized to you, and no where was their unacceptable behavior. You brought up quite a few red flags, especially the 8 week old *since corrected), breeding rights, not fixing, etc. Seriously, it is time to end this discussion. Thousands of members, and no, this forum is not going to change for you. I bet most her like it the way it is. The person that you had an initial problem with is one of the nicest ladies here, and has forgotten moreabout breeding and Yorkies than most know. Stick around and learn, or go create your own forum!

No Change needed or wanted, well, Until next November!