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drabinowitz43 03-17-2010 03:49 AM
sister giving up her pup
 
My sister is my best friend and we are very close. She has an adorable and loving 11 month old King Charles Cavalier puppy that she and her kids love. She is divorced and her kids just lost their elderly Greyhound dog who lives with the dad to cancer. My sister and her boyfriend have decided to buy a house together. He told her he won't live with a dog. She was devastated, but wants this guy so much that she is now giving away her dog for him. The kids are beyond upset and I want nothing to do with her. I am not the judgmental type and I know this is her decision, but I can't seem to forgive either her or her boyfriend. We used to all be very close. Any suggestions? Am I crazy? I would never put a guy before my beloved Yorkies.:confused:

Reese1 03-17-2010 04:07 AM
I love animals so much, so it's impossible to think I would be that attracted to anyone who didn't share my passion!
It's a trait I would look for in a person.

Also, giving away dogs when you have children is making a choice to put your boyfriend over your children, IMO. That is just so sad to me!
I would be asking myself if my boyfriend loved me and my kids, how in the world would he be asking me to hurt my children like that?
I wouldn't put up with an ultimatum like that!

ARCHIE 03-17-2010 05:21 AM
This is only her boyfriend. If he starts dictating at this stage of the game
I feel for her down the road. Her children are attached to their pet.
Who is he to say it has to go! I would show him the door with no problem.
My kids would always come first as well as my pet.
Sorry you have to witness this Donna. It must hurt big time.
Your sister needs a wake-up call before she walks into a big time mess
regarding her future and that of her children.
He sounds like a selfish person.

BaxtersMommy 03-17-2010 05:23 AM
BIG RED FLAG!! I would grab my kids, my puppy and RUN! She has a long life ahead of her with him!

Cinq1964 03-17-2010 05:40 AM
Yes, I hope she realizes that this is a big red flag. Seems to me, if he really cared about her and the children, he would see and know who important the dog is to them!

Shelby&Seymour 03-17-2010 06:21 AM
So are you going to take the dog? My advice, if it is possible, that you "foster" the dog.... because eventually she will get sick of giving up things for him and will dump him.

Britster 03-17-2010 07:04 AM
Agree with everyone above!

I would never give away my pup for a man, esp. if it was harming my children.

Sookie 03-17-2010 07:16 AM
I hope he doesn't want the kids to go next. :(

Mom to Hot Rod 03-17-2010 08:29 AM
Definitely a RED flag! He's already trying to control her. What is she going to do when they have the financial commitment together and something goes wrong...she really needs to think this out before taking this step. Good luck. I totally understand that you are not wanting to have anything to do with her, but she really needs you now.

MauiGirl 03-17-2010 09:33 AM
I agree with all the others here....big RED flag.

A guy that doesn't have room in his heart and life for a dog, likely is very self centered and controlling, and won't give much of his heart to your sis or the kids. If she gives up the dog, how much else will she have to give up in years to come?

Why on earth would she invest in a house with this person?

MaddiesMommie 03-17-2010 01:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reese1 (Post 3043625)
I love animals so much, so it's impossible to think I would be that attracted to anyone who didn't share my passion!
It's a trait I would look for in a person.

Also, giving away dogs when you have children is making a choice to put your boyfriend over your children, IMO. That is just so sad to me!
I would be asking myself if my boyfriend loved me and my kids, how in the world would he be asking me to hurt my children like that?
I wouldn't put up with an ultimatum like that!
I agree with posts above. My dh knows the girls come first.:p He shares my love for them and is fine with that.
I can't imagine living with him and him not being "daddy" to them. We are a family.

Cerise 03-17-2010 01:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Britster (Post 3043801)
Agree with everyone above!

I would never give away my pup for a man, esp. if it was harming my children.

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

Micah my love 03-17-2010 01:39 PM
I'm so sorry for these children

xxmxaxrxyxx 03-17-2010 02:07 PM
what in the world is your sister thinking...the keyword here is BOYFRIEND....not to be mean or anything...but she was married and got a divorce.....so that means there is any guarantee that any relationship will last forever especially if he is just a BOYFRIEND....buying a house is a bigger commitment than getting married...she needs a wake up call here...if he is forcing her to get rid of family member now...then he is capable of other things....this would so be a breaking point for me! before i get serious in any relationship i tell them...i come with baggage (all my yorkies) and if they can't except it and love them as much as i do...then it is best we stay friends...no buts about it...i mean i understand compromising here and there...but not when it comes to family!!!!

mollie jade 03-17-2010 02:37 PM
I will never let my yorkies go for a woman .

paulalowe6 03-17-2010 03:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaddiesMommie (Post 3044220)
I agree with posts above. My dh knows the girls come first.:p He shares my love for them and is fine with that.
I can't imagine living with him and him not being "daddy" to them. We are a family.
Absolutely agree with you!!:thumbup::thumbup:

drabinowitz43 03-17-2010 04:25 PM
:thumbup:
All excellent posts, and I agree with all of you. Good news, my sister's ex-husband who just lost his Greyhound is going to take her!! Yay!! He told me he couldn't stand this being done to the kids and the dog. The kids split their time between two homes so they will see Phoebe. I get along well with him so my kids and I can still visit and have playdates with the dogs. Someone said it and I echo it completely: I wouldn't be attracted to someone who didn't share my love of animals. I think dog people are the best, hands down!

143julz 03-17-2010 04:33 PM
Oh Yippeeee:D:p

Did BF say WHY he didn't want the dog?? Just curious for his dumb AZZ excuse????:cool:

xxmxaxrxyxx 03-17-2010 04:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by drabinowitz43 (Post 3044441)
:thumbup:
All excellent posts, and I agree with all of you. Good news, my sister's ex-husband who just lost his Greyhound is going to take her!! Yay!! He told me he couldn't stand this being done to the kids and the dog. The kids split their time between two homes so they will see Phoebe. I get along well with him so my kids and I can still visit and have playdates with the dogs. Someone said it and I echo it completely: I wouldn't be attracted to someone who didn't share my love of animals. I think dog people are the best, hands down!
that is great to hear!!!!

gemy 03-17-2010 05:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by drabinowitz43 (Post 3044441)
:thumbup:
All excellent posts, and I agree with all of you. Good news, my sister's ex-husband who just lost his Greyhound is going to take her!! Yay!! He told me he couldn't stand this being done to the kids and the dog. The kids split their time between two homes so they will see Phoebe. I get along well with him so my kids and I can still visit and have playdates with the dogs. Someone said it and I echo it completely: I wouldn't be attracted to someone who didn't share my love of animals. I think dog people are the best, hands down!
I think the reason he wants the dog to go is very important, for your sister to know. I don't know if the BF or the 11 month old pup came first, but if the pup came first, then he knew or should have known that this is a package deal, kids, pup, GF. If pup came later, what was the pre purchase discussions like? Without an overwhelming reason on his part, and yes that can include dog phobia, then this for sure is a bid RED Flag to your sister.

I hope all works out well for everyone.

AngieC 03-17-2010 05:42 PM
I just read this post and my jaw hit the table!! How can someone do that to their kids, its like a slap in the face, almost like she is telling her kids that the new guy is more important then they are. If the dog has to go what or who is next? I say you want me in my life you HAVE to take what comes with me!! Dogs Kids and whatever else is in my life, if you cant take it then don't let the door hit ya on the butt on your way out!! Could be the reason I am still singal, wont take crap from any man!! I want to get a ring made that says... Love me love my dogs!!

Glad to hear that the ex is taking the dog, kudos to him!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by drabinowitz43 (Post 3044441)
:thumbup:
All excellent posts, and I agree with all of you. Good news, my sister's ex-husband who just lost his Greyhound is going to take her!! Yay!! He told me he couldn't stand this being done to the kids and the dog. The kids split their time between two homes so they will see Phoebe. I get along well with him so my kids and I can still visit and have playdates with the dogs. Someone said it and I echo it completely: I wouldn't be attracted to someone who didn't share my love of animals. I think dog people are the best, hands down!

drabinowitz43 03-17-2010 07:15 PM
The boyfriend came before the dog, but there had not been discussions about living together at that time, and he always acted like he liked the dog, that's why I was so floored. I don't think my sister ever thought he would have her choose. I personally think it was the wrong choice, but now I have to figure out a way to reconcile what happened, or I don't think I will be able to hang out with them anymore. I am having the hardest time getting past this. Luckily the kids and the dog will still be together. It feels good to be validated here because my family doesn't understand. They say they disagree with her, but it's her life and I can't tell her what to do. Everyone else has been able to move past it.


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