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Struggling in the parenting department i'm having a hard time writing this but i need to get something off of my chest and have no safe means to do so but here. i am the sole parent of four. i have twins (almost 17), a 12 year old, and an 11 year old. i love them to the moon and back times infinity but sometimes, i feel completely inadequate. it was always important to me to instill compassion, empathy, gratitude, selflessness, respect in my kids. i wanted to raise kind human beings. i've put them in positions that would nurture those traits whenever possible. anymore, i feel only doubt and worry because to tell the truth, they treat me like crap an awful lot of the time. sometimes i wish they would remember that there's only one of me and four of them, and that i'm human too. i know that people have it worse and i hate complaining. some days are just more difficult that others. hopefully this doesn't make me sound like the worst mother on earth. i love them so...i guess that's why it hurts so much. thanks for reading. |
You need to sit your children down and have a discussion with them. Everyones expectations of each other. Let them know how you feel. I'm sure it will suprise you. Your not alone motherhood is one of the hardest job there is. |
Ah, don't take it personally, teenagers have to 'devalue' the nest or they'll never leave it. They'll feel bad later after the overconfidence of youth fades away. The little ones probably just imitate the big ones. Just be real with them, and be real with you. |
I really sympathise with you. I have 5 siblings at home with my mum, and the older 3 (25 - 21) have no respect for her at all. She is just like a doormat, and thinks that she is doing her best for them by doing everything for them and taking so much $%£$ from them. It really angers me. |
Oh, hun I feel the same way at times all you can do is try your best...I also feel the same way about how you want them to be, it is very important that my boys are kind upstanding citizens etc. but I think most of the problem is the age they are at, very similar to my boys ages and it is soooo hard!!! You keep trying and take care!! |
I am so sorry you are going through this. I have 2 little ones and wow do I feel like I am screwing up somewhere. Parenting is definitely not easy that is for sure. You love them and are doing your best. I don't have teenagers yet and I dread the day that I do. I am sure all parents feel this way sometimes. Big hugs to you. |
Teenagers will do that. You need to sit down and talk to them. Tell them how you feel. |
I am a single mom of three, I am past your points in age but Ohh boy, can I tell you , my daughters are now 25-22-14, the 14 year old can still give me a run for my money but the other two as teenagers... grrrrrrrr... You do need to sit them down and REALLY speak your mind.. I used to lay it right on the table to mine.. Id say I am mother and Father... I give you all that I can provide and sometimes way more then that because I neglect myself. There were days Id drive to work and say to myself uurrghh I cant stand them, they are selfish brats!! ( I Loved them dearly ) but 4 woman in a household can be CRAZY... You need to just lay down the law... honestly I hated the teenage years.. they are mouthy , fresh and Lazy, good news is they grow out of it.. My older ones are such a big help now.. !! |
thanks everyone for the replies and suggestions. this might sound nuts, but i could swear that lulu knew i was upset last night because even though she always sleeps with me, last night she stayed snuggled up right under my chin all night long. and another thing.....for the last ten days or so her left ear has been flopping. i've just been massaging it a bit at night. well...this morning she woke me up and then sat back just looking at me with what i'm positive was a smile on her face. her left ear was back up! no matter how difficult things get with the human kids, the furry one always seems eager to love the frustration away. i'm really not sure how i managed without her! |
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I don't think it's just because your a single parent. I get frustrated as well and my husband is there. Something about the teen years turns them into ungreatful brats. I just had this conversation with my husband and a couple girlfriends. It's so frustrating that it's not funny. There are days you just feel hopeless and wonder where you went wrong. I had one of those days just a few days ago. Those days make me wonder why I had children or if I decided to pack up my car and leave if they would even notice or care. My friend was joking that we need to get pardoned by the governor. We give and give and hopefully one day if we don't kill them (jk) they will truly come to understand and appreciate all the hard work and struggle we suffer through. A friend with grown children said that clarity only comes to them when they are grown and out of the house or when they finally have children of their own. Sending you a hug. |
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I just have to hand it to all the parents here: single parents, not single, working, not working. I'm only a fur parent. But I'm so continuously blown over by what parents go through every day, each moment. LuluMom, I think you sound like a great parent! Obviously, I don't have parenting advice...but, what about a local single-parent "meet-up" group or something, if for nothing else - some support, and good 'ole venting and such? |
Hey lulumom, we are sending out hugs to you. I remember the day when I sat my step children down for a talk. I only wish I had done it sooner. Good luck and we are here for you:):animal-pa:animal-pa |
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Oh Sweetie I feel your pain. There are many days where I wish I had chosen a different path in life as being a skin parent is so hard and scarry!! I agree that being honest with them is the best thing you can do. Teens will push and push and push some more. My 17 yoa daughter thinks she moving to Washington to go to college and shack up with a boy and his parents that she's been chatting with on line for the last year. The funny thing is we're very close and no matter how much I tell her she's wasting her senior year over the internet she keeps chatting with him. Kids! At this age they know it all. I'm here for you if you need to chat just PM me. |
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