Please tell me if I'm being over sensitive
 

I have 4 children (skin) a boy, 19, a girl 18, a girl, 14, and a boy 10. Well my 19,18 and 10 year old all are light like my husband. He's of Irish heritage. My 14 yr old is dark like me..I'm of Italian heritage. She has dark hair. She takes after my side of the family. The other three kind of look alike. They all have blue eyes and blondish hair. They take after my dh side of the family. Everyone can't believe she is my 18yr olds sister at school because they look so different. Well at school the other day they were late and had to sign in. The woman in the attendance office asked my 14 yr old if she was from the same father!!! I am a little upset. Of course all 4 are from the same father, we've been married for nearly 21 yrs. I thought it was very nervy to ask such a question. Sometimes people need a little more self restraint and keep their questions to themselves. She hates to tell anyone that she is my 18 yr olds sister because everyone says "nooo". It's just annoying. Especially because my 18 yr old is pretty thin and my 14 yr old is a little heavier. Yeah lets make her feel like she is an outsider. I'm sorry for the rant. I'm, having a bad day. My son the 19yr old is having surgery on Fri. He has a torn meniscus. He runs track at college and he tore it. This thing with the girls happened last friday but it is still in my head.

Personally, I don't think u r being over sensitive at all! Just consider the source. How ignorant some people are, not to say just plain insensitive. I just hate that people like that can say something to our younger generation that could make them feel uncomfortable. I'd be upset too & would probably have a one on one conversation privately expressing my discontent over the remark. I hope it doesn't bother yr daughter as much.

That was very rude to ask your daughter. Some people!!!!

Wow, that is inCREDibly rude and insensitive. :(

Some people are just so rude and should keep their mouth shut! We are six siblings in my family, and maybe 2 of us look alike. We are all built different and eyes and hair coloring are different. My parents have been married for 56years so I know where you are coming from!

Hope your son recovers quickly!

Horribly rude!:thumbdown

I don't think you were over sensitive at all .Some people open their mouths and stick their foot in it .Next time you see her take her aside and tell her how insulting that was .I would .You will much more better to.

Can someone tell me how to get my picture to show over there please
<-------------------- thanks .Sorry for asking in this post I just can't seem to figure it out

It does get annoying to have this question asked. I have 3 kids in their 20's and the 4th one is just turning 13 this weekend. For some reason people ask that question about him just because there is a 9 year gap between the 3rd and 4th. Plus one time my daughter's ex bf asked if all 4 kids have the same dad. Reason being is because all 5 kids in his family have different dad's. I guess for some it's an odd thing to be married to the same person for a long time. He asked me that and you should see how much mine look alike and very much like their father. I think some people are just rude and dumb! It wasn't very unproffessional of that secretary in a school office no less to ask such a thing. Very rude, dumb and nosey!

Yes, the woman in the attendance office was rude, and I would be offended too. People who work in the attendance office are supposed to be nice and have tact while welcoming people into the school. Some people need to take a course in biology and etiquette.

I think that's a VERY rude question to ask, especially to your 14 yr old daughter! That's crazy!

You're not being overly sensitive! That person is overly rude. How sad.
It would gnaw at me for a long time, just like you.
Your youngest probably feels terrible too. Support each other when this type of thing happens and as long as your youngest knows how much she is loved, that's what's most important.

I think I would personally call the school and complain. Aside from it being terribly tacky, what is it anyone's business anyway?

Thank you for all of your nice comments. Some people are just plain ignorant. Someone like me would never say something so rude. I guess it's the way we are brought up. What if she was adopted or something? She should not have to explain why she looks different. Well my daughter knows she's ours. And we love her. Some people are just plain insensitive. I am not going to give it another thought...I have my son's surgery to worry me. He needs me right now. My daughter is fine. She was just pissed like me. Thanks again..I hate to make a mountain out of a molehill but this has been bothering me for a couple of days. My daughter is so over it.

Stupid question: what does dh stand for? I mean, I know it's your husband but not sure what the initials stand for. Anyway, I hope that the surgery goes well for your son. As far as the personal question, yes, a little too personal but try not to be offended people are generally just curious about things and I'm sure she didn't mean to offend anyone...well, I don't know the person so scratch that but generally speaking people ask questions like that out of curiosity and not to hurt anyone. I sometimes appreciate a question like that asked to me instead of about me to someone else....Try not to let it bother it...easier said than done right! People sometimes say foolish things without meaning anything by it....if it makes you feel better my husband's side all think my sister has another father...lol! My mom had 5 kids with my dad so I guess because she's very tall and the only kid with brown eyes must be the milkman's kid...which is funny because my dad used to sell milk....lol!!!!!!!!

Very rude. I would go in to the office and let that person know her question was rude. My golly!! Schools have to be so careful with so many things, they should start with their office staff!! Teaching respect of all people!!

DH stands for Dear Husband. Its just an abbreviation.

I definitely do not think you are being overly sensitive. A lot of times growing up I didn't feel like I fit in with my mom. She is half Italian, half Polish. But she has very light blond hair, pale skin, and light green eyes. Me, on the other hand, have dark brown hair, tanner skin, and dark green eyes. I remember a lot of people never believing I was her daughter, and that made me feel bad. So I know where you're coming from. And no, people shouldn't question such personal things. It's not really their business, ya know?

It took me a while as well so don't feel bad. Go to the User CP in the blue bar just above and click on it. Then go to the left column and click on Edit Avatar and there will be upload instructions in the box that comes up. I hope that helped :)

Thanks..:)

Don't you love to get it off your chest....feels better...Anyway, good thinking and I just prayed for your son. Best of luck!!!!!!

She should come up with some rediculous line like..."I look more like the milk man but Mom hasn't fessup up"

Wow. Rude and out of line.

I remember being 14 and questioning everything about my life.

Even the most well adjusted kids feel as though they don't fit in during their teen years.

This could have set off a messy thought process in your daughter.

I'm very glad it did not.

That woman would've had a visit from me. It would've happened in a room, during a meeting I set up with her, the Principle, VP and school board President.

Extreme? Maybe. But she would think before she opened her mouth to someone else's child.

I absolutely agree....i think this woman at least owes your daughter an apology.

WHY do people assume that ALL the kids should look alike?? My gosh!!! My brothers are both tall, thin and straight lighter hair... I'm short, on the heavier side (not overweight but bigger boned) and have DARK DARK super CURLY hair. I took all the French my Dads family had to offer and my brother's got a lot of Irish my mom's family has. Its so ignorant of people to think that all the kids should look alike.

Like when people ask me why if my dogs are brothers from the same litter do they look sooo different? UUUuuummm hello! Do you look like your brothers or sisters? LOL

I feel for your 14 year old, thats hard to feel different. As long as she knows her family loves and supports her, she'll make it through.

Here we are.... sooo different but family none-the-less... same mom and dad!

ugh, I can't believe I posted that... Horrible pic of me! LMAO!

Your words are kind and correctm BUT I think you look like your bothers....espically the ne right next to you. You are a very prettygirl, good looking brothers too! I LOVE curly hair, but I have straight as a board hair! I have my sister that passed away daughter and she has culry hair to the root, its vry thick, a lot of work, but just beautiful.

That was completely uncalled for, for that woman to ask such a question. Did it have any relation to what she was doing? no. I would talk to her superior about her asking such things. No you are not being over sensitive. I think I would have gone off on her if she had asked one of my kids a thing like that! Oh good luck to your son and his knee.

That was VERY rude and uncalled for!! I would go in there and talk to them!
My husband and I have 6 kids, they are full brother and sister, and my boys all have brown eyes, and my girls all have blue eyes. Everyone says that none of my kids look alike, and it irks me because I always think they are trying to get at something.

Son #1 Dark brown hair, chocolate brown eyes, med skin, tans easy
Son #2 Dark brown hair, almost black eyes, very light skinned
Son #3 Med brown hair, light brown eyes, light skinned, but tans super dark
Daughter #1 Light brown hair blue/green eyes, light skinned, tans nice
Daughter #2 med blonde hair, med blue eyes, pale skinned, burns
Daughter #3 med blonde hair, light blue eyes, pale skinned, not sure about anything else since she had sunblock caked on all summer because shes pretty sensitive to the sun.

Of course my husband has everything in his blood. He is at least 1/4 native american, 1/8 or 1/16 african american, irish, and dutch. I am english, irish, french, and italian. We could technically get ANY combination of eye, hair, and skin color.
Seriously the nerve of some people.