Can't Forgive Myself
 

Have you ever done something that in your mind was so horrible you can't forgive yourself? I am no where near the person I used to be and quite honestly did something I am very ashamed of when I was a much younger woman - So ashamed that I have never told another soul about it. I wasn't unfaithful to my husband or anything like that but most of you would cringe if you knew what I did.

I've done plenty of things in my life that I needed to be forgiven for and
I know that God has forgiven me but I can't forgive myself for this one. Therefore I can't stop crying whenever I think about it and I have been thinking about it a lot lately.

Do you want to talk about it? I'm sure it's not as bad as you think. And, even if it is, God has forgiven you. No matter what, just know that He still loves you. And we do, too. :)

Oh Hun you need to forgive yourself. It was a long time ago and you arent even the same person. I know you said you hadnt talked to anyone about it. It seems like its been bottled up for so long. Do you think if you talked to your Husband or somebody about it it might help you forgive youself? I used to go to a therapist and it helped me to get things off my chest and then I felt better.

Jesus has already forgiven you for what you did, and knew you were going to do it before you did. He died on the cross for ALL our sins. Not just ones that we allow ourselves to be forgiven for. My husband is going through the same thing. He doesn't feel worthy to even talk to Jesus. I am starting to read the Bible out loud to him tonight, because he has a really hard time reading and retaining what he reads. I read my Bible everyday, and since I started I feel so much better. You might want to visit your Priest, Reverend, or Pastor, and let them help you to let loose of what your suffering from. I had to do that, because I did something too that I just couldn't let go of it, and he really helped me out especially when he told me some of the things he had done, and here he was a Priest. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts when I read my Bible.

Thanks you guys. I probably do need to talk about it and this is most likely the beginning. I worried that if I posted you all would imagine all kinds of horrible things but believe me you would never guess it and I suppose there are a lot of people that wouldn't feel the least bit guilty but I do. I almost wish I could say I was an axe murderer but that isn't it.

I feel comforted by talking to you though and that is a start.

lol.. i don't mean to make light of what it is that is bothering you- but as i was reading the posts i was thinking- geeze i hope she didn't murder someone and then you posted that youw eren't an axe murder and it made me chuckle.

That aside- I agree with everyone else. Keeping it in is just going make it fester inside and eat you up. You need to talk to someone you trust and that can be of a support to you.

A friend of mine was feeling the same way as you are right now- she had an abortion when she was younger and not ready to be a mom- and she had manged to suppress it for a long time but the feelings had come back and she just needed to talk it through- while it doesn't erase what she did or the regret she has now- she has been able to move on and find positive in her life instead of dwelling on the past.

Your right its a start. I am glad it made you feel a little better

I think most of us have done things when we were younger that we would never do as the people we are now. I know I have- I have plenty of cringe-worthy moments from my youth. This sounds like it is bothering you so badly though that it does sound like something you need to talk to someone about. You already said it isn't something you would ever do now so maybe having someone you really trust tell you that you deserve to forgive yourself would help. Hugs!:)

I too have done many things that I am not proud of HOWEVER I finally realized that I'm not that foolish person anymore. I forgave myself & my life is much better.

Everyone does things in their lives they're ashamed of. NO ONE is perfect, and the only ones that you have to ask forgiveness from is God. Then you have to forgive yourself, you owe nothing else to anyone. Please, whatever it is, do not cry about it, it's over and done with. Leave it in the past and move on with the future

Read Philippians 3:13b-14. Has helped me through regrets. Hugs.

I gave my birth son up for adoption when I was 18. Back then it was not very acceptable to be an "unwed mother" and other reasons. I reunited with my birth son almost 2 years ago after 36 years and see him evey week and he never made me feel bad for giving him up but I feel so guilty for not being stronger and finding a way to keep him. So I understand how you can be feeling but we cannot change the past just learn from it. I hope you can get some relief and talk to someone who can help you.

Awww, I feel so bad for you. Please remember that we are always much harder on ourselves than others would be. I, along with the rest of the world, have done many things I really regret. I ofter wonder how I could have been so stupid, gullible or whatever. From your post you sound like a sweet person who just needs to give yourself a break. As others have said Jesus loves you and has already forgiven you, now you just have to trust Him. Don't waste your time crying over something you can no longer change. It's over, it's in the past, and I'm sure you have learned from it. I hope that you can finally forgive yourself with the help of Jesus.

I'm sorry your feeling so much guilt and possibly shame for past behaviors. All of us have slipped, some have slipped once and some have slipped many times. We where given the emotion of guilt to let us know we are on the wrong path. That means your a good person, good decent people have the capacity to feel guilt about the wrong. Bad people don't have the capacity to feel guilt, they just make excuses and justify the wrong behavior.

If you are not able to repair this in some way with the person who you feel you've wronged then sometimes we have to forgive ourselves and put it into perspective that you where different then, and you learned a valuable lesson....

This terrible incident has in some way changed who you are, your character and integrity has come out of this for the better. It may not feel like it but the truth is you came out of this a better, caring, and a more mature person today because of this incident. ....You grew and learned, and that's all you can ask for.......And I just know that if you could turn back time you would do different, but since that is not possible, sometimes all we can do is forgive ourselves and move on.....I hope you find some peace with this.....:heart to

Why is it that we would forgive someone else in a heartbeat the same thing but we can't forgive ourselves? My best advice is to pray about it and if you have harmed another, maybe it would help to write a letter even if you could never send it. I wish you luck and hope that you can find a way to forgive yourself.

I understand how you feel. I'm only 24 and am nothing like how I was when I was younger. And I have things in my past that I never talk about with other people but they always seem to haunt me at different points in my life.

Talk to someone...any one. Do not keep this quilt ridden feeling bottled up, it will destroy your well being and peace of mind. Life is too short to live in the past, what's done is done...this obviously bothers you immensely...and it shouldn't. That was then, this is now...and tomorrow is your future. I hope your are able to take that step forward, so you can live your life in peace. I'm sure you are not the only person in the world that has done whatever it is that makes you feel so guilty...trust me, you are not now and never will be alone. We're here for you!!!

We are all here for you if you need to talk and if you feel more comfortable with a single person you know on here. Feel free to PM them to talk to them. You need to release your feelings as its not healthy to keep them bottled up as long as you have. Just remember YOU ARE ONLY HUMAN! WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES!;)

We dont judge here we are a family and are here for one another!

Thanks again everyone. I asked my husband the same question this morning and he got such a weird look on his face, I knew right away that he was thinking I had been unfaithful. I couldn't go any farther though. Maybe soon.

Hunny I wish you the best of luck. When I was younger and growing up both my sisters sat me down and gave me this little talk about how we always hold ourselves to higher standards than we hold others. We find it easy to forgive people we love (even though THEY aren't perfect) and if we learn to love ourselves (even though WE aren't perfect) then it will become easier to forgive yourself. Everyone has their mistakes and secrets and dirty little shameful moments.

I once told an older woman to F-off because her husband had pushed himself on me while I was working. I still feel bad to this day. She just wanted to apoligize for him. I later found out he had alzheimers. I am far from proud but in that moment I made a choice that I can't take back.

God loves and forgives. So should we. I'm routing for you.

Wow...it's that deep, you don't feel you can tell your hubby. You know sometimes its easier and better to talk to your best girlfriend. Not, saying your hubby would judge you or anything. I know I can tell my hubby anything, but somethings are just better left for us girls.

Good Lucjk,
Angie

You are not alone. Anyone who lives long enough is going to have something in his/her past they are not proud of. A person in the midst of a situation makes decisions based on what they know at that time. You may come to regret it later, but that is hindsight - and hindsight is 20/20.

When Jesus died on the cross, it was so ALL our sins could be forgiven, and sin is sin - it doesn't matter what it was. HE forgives us, but we are our own worst enemy when it comes to forgiving ourselves and accepting that.

The past is the past - how you deal with it is what makes you the person you are today. The thing that is bothering you has obviously made you a different, better person - one who will not commit the same act again. That is what counts. You can't change your past, only accept that you are a better, more forgiving person because of it.

God bless you and give you peace in your heart - you deserve it.

Im a pretty good girl. Been married about all of my adult life and was a virgin when I married. I have of course never been with another man and hope that fate never touches my family.

But with all of that being said: even this geeky ol southern baptist country girl has a few things I reflect on and feel some shame about.

I feel very confident that if I feel this way - 90% of all adults do.

Be good to yourself - God has forgiven you and you cant do his work until you get over this - forgive yourself. We anger God when we are self consumed and not working for him. Then you can think about doing his work rather than the shame.

God bless you and good luck. Whatever it is will probably be funny in 5 yrs. Trust me. :thumbup:

GREAT post! :thumbup:
We are forgiven when we ask for forgiveness and repent. To repent means to turn from it. You have obviously turned from this sin! Quit reliving the pain of it over and over again. It is obviously eating you up inside and God does not want that at all. You are hindering yourself by holding onto this, and keeping yourself from what your true potential is. When you can heal from this, you can grow!

We all have secrets and do things we later dwell on and wonder what if.. I know I have but there is a time and place for everything and if you need to talk I am here. No judgement ok, hang in there you will get through this and realize one day maybe what you did was for the best thing for you at the time...(((hugs)))

everyone makes mistakes and noone here will judge you,if you need to talk we are all here...it may be easier to say over the computer than to someone in person and it may make you feel better to get it out

PostSecret

Post your secret here anonymously, and be absolved. I hope you find peace.

Letting guilt consume you is a sin. Life is just too short to dwell on mistakes. EVERYONE makes them. You don't know how big or small other peoples are but rest assured yours is not the biggest one! Let it go...talk it out to a stranger if you need to. Google it, its probably there:D Life goes on regardless of our pasts, its what you choose to do with your future that counts! Worrying about things you can not change is life consumming, draining, devestating. Let it go. Right it down, flush it, burn it. Let it go. Focus on what you have -not what has happened. Believe that everything happens for a reason. Whether you know what it is or not doesn't change that GOD has a plan for everyone. Just because things didn't happen the way you think they should-GOD doesn't screw up. Lessons are given. It is what you take from it and what you do with it that counts. Focus on the life you currently have, the people you love, and making yourself a better you for the future. You have a choice to look at a glass half full or half empty. You have a choice to wake up and "woe is me" or say "its a great day, I'm not dead, disabled, have cancer, lost a limb, sitting in the hospital with a dying child, etc..etc.. .You get the point. Yes it is easy for people to say "ah get over it and move on". You might think "well your not in my shoes" Well I've walked miles in my own and others have as well and not one SINGLE one of us are perfect. Unless you are Jesus Christ himself then you are a child of GOD and GOD forgives everything. All you need do is ask. There is no ones opinion that matters more than Him. Not your husband, not your girlfriends, not anyone. So how about not letting the devil work his magic of laying the never ending guilt trip on you and get up and dust yourself off. Go work out , get a hobby and love your yorkies. :aimeeyork

Bless your heart! I hope you can come to terms with this, as Jesus forgave you the moment you asked. Sending hugs and best wishes. We've all done things we aren't proud of...or wish we could undo.

Every time I come back here to read your posts I cry. You all are so sweet and kind.
Thank you.