I think I need therapy
 

I think I have some kind of anxiety issue. I've always been a little neurotic, but lately it just seems worse than ever.

I am a control freak. Usually, if something it isn't done exactly the way I want it, I just get huffy and redo it myself. I have been steadily getting worse and worse about it. Here lately I find myself in almost a full blown anxiety attack if things aren't "just so".

For example: My oldest DD vaccuumed the living room for me last night. I looked at it and immediately got this very panicky, uneasy feeling that made me nauseous, my heart was pounding, and my hands were shaking and sweating. Why? Because the lines made by the vacuum cleaner were going the wrong way in front of the fireplace. She had them going this way ( | ) instead of this way ( --- ).

WHO gets that way over vac lines? :eek:

I have been noticing that happening a lot lately over a lot of different things.

The dishwasher being loaded incorrectly, the glasses not put in the cabinet correctly, chairs not pushed up to the table and in the right spot, the kids' toys not put away exactly where they are supposed to be, books put back on the shelf out of order, the toilet paper roll put on the thingy backwards - all of that causes me to panic.

It started getting worse pre-DUG so I can't blame it all on him, although it seems to have gotten worse since he came and went. I think the stress kind of accelerated it.

I don't know what to do. Taking deep breaths and other relaxation techniques doesn't work. It has gotten to the point that other people are starting to really notice. :(

Anxiety like that can be horrible..."Compulsive"!! Have you seen your doctor about it? Maybe you need some meds for awhile and see if they would help you? How old are you? It could be your age and maybe a change type thing you are going through? Always something to worry about isn't there!! Good luck to you!!

I know exactly how you feel. I had one situation that set me off & then everything else started to set me off. Therapy does help. You may be repressing things that need to be dealt with; possibly conserning DUG. When I'm not dealing with something emotional every little thing starts to get to me & pretty soon I meltdown. I starting seeing a therapist around april. I see her every 2 weeks. I won't lie it's not easy; she makes me examine things I'd rather not think about, but she's trying to help me deal with things & then discard. It wouldn't hurt to check it out.

Also talk to your family doctor he should be able to give you the name of a therapist and possibly something to help in the meantime. My doctor gave me a small dose of Xanax, I take half a pill when i begin to feel "overwhelmed".

I also wanted to add that there is nothing wrong with you. Everyone processes things differently & you are not abnormal or crazy. You might also be a Highly Sensitive Personality (it's not what it sounds like). When my therapist suggested this I did lots of research on it & found it describes me to a T. Check out this website it might help. P.S. my dog also has HSP, which I find a little funny. I hope you find the answers you're looking for.
The Highly Sensitive Person

Are you sure you are not my long lost twin?:eek:

I honestly do not have carpets for that express reason.

Therapy will help a great deal and if you want suggestions for natural supplements to help--hit me up with a PM.

I do not react well with traditional meds--- if there is a wacky side effect that rarely occurs---that's the one I will get. I use to think I manifested them upon myself, but it happened even if I made the doc and folk filling my scripts not tell me.:rolleyes:

I do know that things escalate for me when I neglect to take time for myself for a period of time.

Easy to overlook as my natural self is a nurturer and I tell myself that taking care of everyone else takes care of me------- but my body tells me diff.;)

Try reading some books that help you to let go of the small things in life. The Secret was a great book for that.

I was starting to get anxiety issues a couple years ago, its completely against my nature to stress out but life kind of got out of control for awhile and I was not handling it well... sooooo I read The Secret, watched the movie, went for Reiki and just realized that its not worth it. I learned how to let the little things like that go. Now, as long as I vaccuum Im happy! As long as the dishes MAKE IT in the dishwasher/cabinet Im happy. :) Its such a nicer way to live. :) Get out of the house and keep a busy schedule doing things OUTSIDE the house and your life will feel full enough where you'll just be happy to get things done, never mind RIGHT... just DONE! :)

My oldest daughter has these problems. She is OCD.

I am going through it too. I have been dealing with panic attacks since I was 15. They have come and gone throughout the years in cycles. Usually long periods of stress "kicks" them off.

Ever since I had foot and ankle reconstruction surgery back in Feb and was laid up for almost 3 months with a feeling of being "stuck," not only physically but mentally as well, I have been in the midst of a full blown cycle. It is horrible! I have been on xanax for panic disorder since '92 and do not want to up the dosage. I also do not want to try anything new, because l too had a bad experience the one and only time I tried something else. Any adverse side-effect and I will get it. I have never really had depression accompany the panic like many do but I feel like I am fighting that now too for the first time. Being afraid to do things for the fear of an attack happening takes the joy out of many things I love to do. It becomes taxing on the spirit. I am trying hard to get positive again. I need to remember that a cycle doesn't last forever and the more I "feed" it, the longer it will last.

I've gone for bio-feedback therapy twice now and I feel it hasn't helped too much. I do know the importance of breathing. I've also seen a Psychiatrist, within the same practice as the bio-guy, but do not feel comfortable with him...he does ALL the talking...he should be paying me! I just breathe and pray a lot and that does help.

I'm hoping to get past this soon. I can't be home alone without being afraid. I freak out in traffic, and I almost had a mental breakdown on the turnpike, because I knew there was no getting off for 6 miles...what is that??? Also, had to fight the urge to jump out in the middle of a car wash because I felt stuck. So I know what it's like to feel like you're losing control. I feel for you and will pray for you. You need time to de-stress and relax. Maybe we should start our own support group on here... ;)

Please take care!
Tammy

I think I am your twin (or triplet) Im SO OCD and ADD its BAD now Im becoming a freak about bacteria and germs and stuff. ugggggg not for me but the fur babies!!!

My problem with drugs is that usually they have the opposite effect on me. Stuff that is supposed to calm me down sometimes makes me wired, and stuff that is supposed to give me energy knocks me out for 2 days. :rolleyes:

I have no clue how to relax. Even massages make me nervous. I usually leave more tense that I was when I went in.

OCD has been suggested to me before. I've never heard of HSP.

Thank you all for not thinking I'm a looney tune. ((((hugs))))

OMG have gotten much worse about germs. I don't like to touch anything if I am out of the house. I have enough hand sanitizer to supply everyone on YT. I have my own little "eating out baggies" which are zippie bags that contain a plastic fork, spoon, knife, napkin, and a straw. I take them with me to restaraunts and always order my drink in a take out cup.

The worst for me though is people. I do not like touching people. I can't stand shaking hands or hugging or anything like that. That is just way too much for me.

I have that problem... I really HATE car washes. I will drive my car into the car wash and get out, then walk back and enter the code to start it. :rolleyes: Even if someone is with me I feel panicky. Mines probably a phobia. :confused:

I had never heard of HSP (Highly Sensitive Personality) either, until my therapist thought I might have it. I do not have any of the normal OCD tendencies like doing things repeatedly or you panic such as making sure a door is looked multiple times. So she game me a test for HSP (you can take the test on the website I listed) and it turned out I had it in spades. I answered yes to almost all the questions. supposedly 20% of the population has it & it affects all species as well. I'm working through the book now & it's scary how accurate it is. It's like someone watched my life & wrote it down. The jist of HSP is you body processes stimulie differently than other people. We register things other people ignore as just part of life. Like for me the footsteps of co-workers drive me batty. whether they shuffel stomp ect. drives me crazy. So because of this awareness to all stimulie in normal everyday life HSP's can being to feel overwhelmed. We need time to reboot, clear our minds, start over; if we're not given this time, HSP's eventually shut down completely (i.e. a breakdown). It's worth looking into & if you do happen to be an HSP there are tons of books on line to help you deal with normal everyday things.

I am definitely a highly sensitive person and I am going to buy that book as soon as possible. I'm not so bad about lines in the rug...but I am a control freak. AND, I usually avoid sad posts, movies, books, etc. because I can feel the person's pain too much!! I, too, have dealt with panic and anxiety/depression issues for many years. I take minimal meds to try to keep it in check. I feel for ya!

You might actually have OCD. I would touch base with a therapist. Once you are diagnosed there is lots of help.

FYI Howie Mandel is a germaphobe....he doesn't like to be touched. Next time you watch deal or no deal watch how uncomfortable he gets if someone hugs him, it's really interesting. It's also the reason he shaved his head.

I was thinking more about this.... I became an obsessive cleaner years ago. My relationship with my ex (stress EX) was falling apart and the only thing I could control was how clean my house was. An 'outward' appearance. I had to make the 'outside' look good to cover the turmoil on the inside.

Is there turmoil going on in your head that you maybe need to take care of? Are you really stressed with buying a new house? Not taking enough time for you? Something on your mind that you need to say to your DH or MIL maybe? Find out whats feeling out of control on the inside, and you might be able to let go of SOME control on the outside. :)

If you answered more than fourteen of the questions as true of yourself, you are probably highly sensitive. But no psychological test is so accurate that an individual should base his or her life on it. We psychologists try to develop good questions, then decide on the cut off based on the average response.

I answered 23 yes. I understand what you are saying. I am taking the test & reading the books and then going over what I find with my therapist. And not everything in the book rings true with me, but certain things ring very true.

I agree with everyone else that you should see someone and I totally understand about medication side effects - I recently stopped taking everything because the side effects were worse than the condition I took them for. Like my allergy medicine made me stop sneezing every 5 minutes but gave me such bad headaches I couldn't function or made me a zombie. Now I just sneeze.

Anyway, I know you have kids and a husband who probably doesn't get it, but they need to try to accommodate you better. I have little quirks too like I HATE fans. I wear contacts and it bothers me, but it's also the noise it makes. My husband always leaves the fans in the bathroom on for hours (and turns them back on after I shut them off!) and constantly complains that we don't have a ceiling fan in our bedroom. We have those stand fans and I HATE THEM. Today is trash day and I want to sneak them in the garbage.... Anyway just one example but I think men are a little lazy sometimes and just don't pick up on subtleties like laundry on the floor, dishes in the sink when the dishwasher is empty, etc. My husband would live out of a laundry basket for weeks and not once think of putting the clean clothes away. Clutter just doesn't register with them. My dad used to listen to static on radio stations in the car and it drove my mom and me crazy but it's like he didn't hear it?

Anyway you're not the only one. Right now I can't even walk around my bed to make it because we are painting various rooms of the house and stuff is everywhere and I'm about ready to scream because I can't stand it being a mess like this.

Whoever said no carpet - I'm with you! Next house NO CARPET!

Oh, you think this isn't normal? Well...you have just described me! It's definitely not good for your heart to have all these panic attacks...anxiety...or whatever you want to call it. I used to get the same way, and my heart would feel like it was in my throat when I would have a panic attack over just refolding towels my husband had folded "his way". My doctor put me on an extended release Xanax (Xanax XR). I stayed on it for about a year or so and gradually weined myself off. It did help me. If you doctor recommends Xanax, please request the XR as it is less addictive than the other. It lasts all day. You definitely need to get to a point in your life where you don't sweat the small stuff. Life is just too short. I know all these things are irritating, they irritate me too. It wasn't until after my son had a terrible auto accident that I was able to sort the big stuff from the little stuff. Thank goodness because I would have given myself a stroke had I kept on the way I was going. Good luck in "not sweating the little stuff". I understand totally what you are going through.

Small world!!lol Meds work the opposite on me too...what makes "NORMAL" people sleep makes me feel like my hair is growing!!lol I have RLS terrible and have been on all kinds of things over the years for that besides the depression always. Side effects from some of it has been worse than the meds!! I swear if I don't get off this Requip soon I will be in the poor house!! I buy things that I would never have done before and thought the doctor was kidding me when he said that is a "side effect"!! It doesn't really help my legs anymore either but sometimes I just feel really like I am completely CRAZY!! What kind of breathing exercises are ya all talking about? Where can I find out more about that?? THANKS....least we're not alone here!!

Yoga & tai chi are supposed to help too. It's supposed to get you to focus on something other than your problems & tune into yourself. I liked Yoga; tai chi was too slow & just made me want to hit someone. I recently saw that they make a mediation for dummies book.

I'm so sorry you've been having difficulties. As a person in the mental health field I need to stress the importance of seeing a professional (even if it's just the family doctor). There's something called the Medical Student Syndrome, which is just a cute name for a person that learns about different problems and then self-diagnoses them self.

EVERYONE has a few symptoms of MANY different conditions. Just because you have a symptom (or think so) doesn't mean you have the condition. It takes someone specially trained to know what to look for to determine that! In this day and age of self help books and the internet for information people sometimes think they can do everything themselves. But there's actually an entire field, where you can get certified, for mental health!

**I'll get off my soap box now, but I felt that was really important to mention.**

I know first hand how hard anxiety problems can be. Some things you can work out yourself but others you need some professional assistance. Once it took me only a month with a psychiatrist and I no longer had those specific anxiety problems. But that's not always or usually the case. Things can come on "suddenly" and be brought on (or exacerbated) by things you aren't even consciously aware of. My Mom has a severe anxiety issue dealing with driving/being a passenger. All of a sudden one day while on the highway on the way to pick my Grandfather up from the airport and she freaked, climbed to the back seat from the passenger seat while the care was still moving. (Keeping in mind she was probably about 52 at the time, so climbing like that wasn't exactly something she'd want to do all the time.) She's worked with our doctor to find the best solution for her. (She's fine when she drives. When others drive short distances she closes her eyes. And when driving long distances, like visiting me which is 8+ hours, she takes a mild sedative.)

Hope things get a bit better for you! And know that there's plenty of us here that are here for you!

I have always been a very nervous/neurotic/anxious type person. It has just been that lately it has gotten worse. It is getting to the point that I am not getting other things done because I am so busy trying to get that one thing done absolutely perfectly.

Like the lines in the living room carpet. I had to vaccuum twice. Once to "fix" the carpet, then again to put the lines in it the way they are supposed to be. It took me over an hour.

When I clean I don't just clean. I have to make sure every single nook and cranny is cleaned and then I hit it with the steam cleaner, dry it off, then hit it with the Clorox Anywhere spray, let it sit for 3 minutes, then "polish".

It has gotten this bad just over the past several months. I think it started getting really bad right before Christmas. I have wracked my brain trying to think of what happened, but I honestly can't think of anything that set me off.

Oh, my darlin'. I hear ya sufferin'. Anytime we're focusing SUPER HARD on this over here, trying to get it done to perfection and get it done just this way - it's almost always because what we're really doing is trying to ignore this over here. It's classic white elephant in the room behavior. While that elephant is in the room, we'll do all sorts of behavioral things to ignore it - like, perfectionism, control issues, obsess about germs, addictions (alcoholism, whatever...) - they can be big or small.

So, much of the behavior is probably a symptom of ignoring what's really going on somewhere else inside. And finding that hidden nugget could be a really great journey for you. :)

I feel your pain...I would consider myself a highly sensitive person which in my case is definitely a genetic predisposition. I can totally relate to how you are feeling and can tell you from my experience that over time it gets worse and eventually you may have a mental breakdown. In my case I eventually got so bad that I started crying one day and couldn't stop. Being super sensitive and feeling out of control causes anxiety which is what you are feeling. For me medication makes a huge difference but it doesn't eliminate it completely. Now that I've hit 40 I find that some months are worse then others due to extreme PMS. I will probably have to suffer through it or increase my meds at some point. I see a psychiatrist when I find my meds not working as well as they should be.

I would definitely go see your family doctor and ask to be referred to a psychiatrist. I wish you the best of luck in getting this resolved. It's an awful way to live for you and for those around you. The guilt of feeling the way you do will make things worse for you in the long run. The sooner you see someone the better.

my mom was like this. Now that she is older she has thankfully mellowed out .I was thinking it was some kind of OCD, Perfectionist thing going on.
Therapy can help your deal with these issues and how to cope better.
Best wishes to you. :animal-pa

I would definately recommend therapy. I have had issues with anxiety since my dad passed away when I was 19. I always thought it was nothing or that it was normal. When my BF broke up with me last month, it got 10 times worse. So I was kind of forced by my fam to go into counseling and now I am SO GLAD I did. I never really realized how my it negatively affected every aspect of my life. Mine was so severe that I am now on medication for it as well. But it was really helped. I am able to relax. So my advice to you, seriously, you may not want to do it or think it's nothing, but you OWE it to yourself to do something about it. You'll be glad you did.

Haha I know this is super corny but this is some quote that's on the inside of my meds haha... "There is nothing wrong with having anxiety disorder, it's only wrong to do nothing about it."

I need to call and make a dr appointment anyway (think I have an ear infection). I guess I'm going to mention this to him while I'm there.

I think I was hoping it would just get better, but it doesn't seem like its going to. I was hoping once DUG left I'd be OK (even though it started getting worse before he got here).

I just feel crazy. I mean WHY does it matter what order the books are in or how the carpet is vaccummed or what order the laundry is done in? Any one of those things is enough to cause me to break out in a cold sweat, shake, have heart palpataions, barely be able to breathe, etc.

Maybe I should just write everything down and give it to him. Otherwise I'll probably get too nervous and not be able to tell him.

I would suggest writing everything down....explain all your symptoms, even if they sound ridiculous to you they are very important in diagnosing the situation. Keep in mind that those things don't really matter but your brain is telling you that it's a big deal. Once you are balanced most of it will go away and you will feel a big relief. Good luck and let us know how it turns out for you.

Just a thought, but the ear thing could also be contributing.

That can knock you off balance for sure.