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-   -   parents..what would you have done? (https://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/off-topic-discussions/139611-parents-what-would-you-have-done.html)

Catrina 07-24-2008 10:43 PM

parents..what would you have done?
 
I just finished watching that one show where this nanny comes and helps out parents in need with disobedient children.. there was this one little girl.. about 5 i think..she spit on her brother and the mom tried to give her time out.. she told her to sit in a chair but the little girl kept getting up and running away and the mom had to go and keep catching her.. so finally she grabbed her and sat down with her.. the little girl then spit on her mom :eek: and the mom held her head down and the little girl then proceeded to keep spitting on her moms arm.. ignoring her mom when she told her to stop!! the mom got mad and put the girl in the bathroom and the little girl said something like "mommy if you dont let me out im going to pee in my pants".. the mom usually gives in but this day she said "fine go ahead.. youre cleaning it up then" then she heard noise and yeah the little girl did pee in her pants and i think the mom prob ended cleaning it all up :eek:

just curious for you parents out there.. what would you have done without resorting to physical punishment? i was curious myself.. honestly i dont know what id do if that was my child.. prob end up giving her a lil spank but curious what you guys would have done!!

Judy in Waco 07-24-2008 10:59 PM

Probably get her evaluated to find out where the heck all that anger is coming from. Then, I'd probably go the logical consequences route and she would have to spend some time cleaning the bathroom floor and doing a load of laundry.

But, I really think there's an anger problem there. I didn't see the show though, so what do I know? lol! :p

Mayas Mommy 07-24-2008 11:33 PM

Well I know for sure that spanking will only make the behavior get worse ....

I love those shows ...... when I see them kids act up like that ..... I thank God that mine turned out so well .... ;)

Tiggerwit 07-25-2008 12:37 AM

I'd pack her bag and drog her off at the orphanage.


Just kidding. I couldn't even imagine. I'd probably make her clean it up and then put her to bed.

Catrina 07-25-2008 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiggerwit (Post 2136384)
I'd pack her bag and drog her off at the orphanage.


Just kidding. I couldn't even imagine. I'd probably make her clean it up and then put her to bed.

haha for a second i thought you were serious!! yeah this kid was so wild.. i think the mom should have threatened that to her :p

Graleyne 07-25-2008 01:18 AM

I saw that show! In fact I watched all three episodes that came on last night.

I honestly have no clue what I would have done. Thankfully my kids have never done that. My 11 yr old DS, however, seemed to know exactly what I would have done. He looked at me with his face like this :eek: and said, "Oh....my....gosh! Mom, you would KILL us!" :rolleyes:

DukesMommy 07-25-2008 01:42 AM

I'm not a mom but I worked as a preschool teacher for 4 years. I didn't see the show, but I am a huge fan of nanny 911 with "Jo Jo". Usually those kids get that bad because the parents allow it, or are not consistent with punishment.
If the mom told the kid she would be cleaning it if she peed her pants, she should have made her do it. She was old enough to know better.
If it were my kid that was acting like that, I would have continued the battle with the time out until she finally listened...though I am pretty sure by that time I would have wanted to spit on her to show her what it was like.

SladesMommy 07-25-2008 04:26 AM

I'm not a parent yet, so I don't know what I would've done.

But I do know what my mom would have done with me if I'd done that at that age... I'd have probably been slapped across the face for spitting at her. That is one thing my mom finds SUPER disrepectful. In my house I was raised you don't put your feet on ppl and you don't spit at them. Oh yea.. and you don't point either.

A spanking would have worked for me, they always did. Personally I think more kids today need a spanking every now and then.

4doggiemama 07-25-2008 08:27 AM

I a "spanked as a child" 56 yr. old and I think I am a productive member of society without any anger issues.:D:D:D

Tiggerwit 07-25-2008 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SladesMommy (Post 2136505)
I
But I do know what my mom would have done with me if I'd done that at that age... I'd have probably been slapped across the face for spitting at her.
A spanking would have worked for me, they always did. Personally I think more kids today need a spanking every now and then.

ditto

Back in the day you could get away with that. Today I think parents are afraid to physically punish their children. I've heard so many stories where a parent disciplined their child when they threw a tantrum in a store or somewhere public and a bystander ends up calling the police on them. I always got the wooden spoon.

bchgirl 07-25-2008 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiggerwit (Post 2136384)
I'd pack her bag and drog her off at the orphanage.


Just kidding. I couldn't even imagine. I'd probably make her clean it up and then put her to bed.

L-LOL.

The kids' behavior on those shows...amaze me.

In my professional psychiatric opinion :rolleyes: I'd say this kid's anger comes being told NO when obviously she's heard that very very little. She's been taught...throw a tantrum...get your way.

MinMuf1 07-25-2008 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SladesMommy (Post 2136505)
I'm not a parent yet, so I don't know what I would've done.

But I do know what my mom would have done with me if I'd done that at that age... I'd have probably been slapped across the face for spitting at her. That is one thing my mom finds SUPER disrepectful. In my house I was raised you don't put your feet on ppl and you don't spit at them. Oh yea.. and you don't point either.

A spanking would have worked for me, they always did. Personally I think more kids today need a spanking every now and then.

:thumbup: Could not have said it better myself!!!

momof4CA 07-25-2008 09:00 AM

I did not see last nights shows, but we love to watch all the nanny shows. My children (14,12,10,8) are always shocked by what they see!:eek: I also then get to take the opportunity, to remind them of how our family is not allowed to behave that way!!;)

I am always amazed at the children's behavior!! But more importantly the lack of parental response to the behavior.:mad: I can't even begin to understand what the parents are thinking. Isn't our job as parents to raise honest, well rounded, hardworking, members of society? If your children aren't taught that at home were are they going to get it!

What would I have done if they were my kids? First, I would have given them...my 'evil eye'. I would explain that we do not allow that behavior and why. Finally, she would have to spend the rest of the day sitting on their bed!! If she comes out she will be in there tomorrow, too. I think spitting on someone is a huge offense and the punishment would be just as huge.

momof4CA 07-25-2008 09:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bchgirl (Post 2137018)
L-LOL.

The kids' behavior on those shows...amaze me.

In my professional psychiatric opinion :rolleyes: I'd say this kid's anger comes being told NO when obviously she's heard that very very little. She's been taught...throw a tantrum...get your way.

I so agree!!

Tiggerwit 07-25-2008 09:06 AM

Little OT:

My oldest (18) and I were watching RV, with Robin Williams this past weekend and the oldest daughter is just a snot. My kid looks at me and say man I'm glad I'm not like that. I about fell off the couch laughing. She's like what?!?! I had to say honey, you have your moments... her nick name is Snotty Marie :)

linz06 07-25-2008 09:10 AM

I agree with the spanking... although I was rarely spanked because as soon as there was the threat of spanking I would cry and apologize!! I saw my big brother get spanked enough to know it wasn't something I wanted. And we're both grown up now and are nice people with educations and good jobs and no anger towards our parents :)
A few of my younger cousins were just like the little girl in the example. They would go NUTS and actually went so far as to start fires in their house and ruin furniture (sawed a table in half!) and were completely uncontrollable. If my uncle stepped up and tried to spank them, they would actually get on the phone and call social services to say they were being abused :eek: And from then on, they only had to threaten it and my uncle would back down. The oldest got pregnant at 17, her next younger brother went to jail at 14, and the youngest got taken into foster care until he was 16, and then he chose to move back in with his dad. He now does whatever he wants, and is pretty heavy into drugs :(
It's made a big enough impact on me to know that when I have children, they will be disciplined from day 1.

YorkieRose 07-25-2008 09:25 AM

child
 
The problem with the 5 yr old started FIVE years ago. The nanny's was called in when mom could not take it any longer.

A child must learn respect..and receive respect back. You parent 24/7..even when you are worn out and too tired to take a breath...but you follow through with any threat and you parent.

Example..my two girls were 3 yrs a part...they were really good girls, but we had problems from time to time...once it was when they acted up in the store while I tried to grocery shop etc.

When they were 4 and 7 yrs I took them to the grocery...a fight started, then they wanted me to by junk, toys etc..they were warned twice to stop and if I had to warn again, they would go home...they started another "poking at each other" fight...I stopped shopping, put them in the car, drove to the curb of my house and told them to GET OUT!!! Bill was home.

When I got home I had two very sorry, apologzing girls...but I did not give in and take them with me the next time...I told them I was not conveniced they would behave...another week of no shopping with mom seemed to really sink in...the 7 yr old wrote a note promising they would be good in the store and the 4 yr old signed it...

I took them that week and had perfect angels the rest of the years I shopped with them...except one time when Jodi set off a fire alarm in Pebbles Dept store, but I understood the temptation of "DO NOT TOUCH"...when you are 6 yrs old.

This is a long way of saying..set rules and limits.and follow through.

My daughters are adults now...last week when the older came for a visit we went to Ruby Tuesday's and a kid of about 8 told his mom to shut up in a loud voice..Jodi turned to her sister and said.."if we did that Mom would walked out and left us sitting here"...and she was right.
When she was 4..she laid on the floor of the A&P and had a fit...I moved to the next aisle and let her have her fit...she stopped right away without me as her audience...

YorkieRose 07-25-2008 09:44 AM

post
 
As to the kid threathening to call 911...I would tell her it will take at least 5 to 10 mins for the police to arrive...and in those 5 to 10 mins she will REALLY need 911...because I would beat the meanness out of her..

These types of kids boggle my mind...I know without a doubt it starts as you bring them through the door from the hosptial..they have no respect or healthy fear of authority...and it is worse as the grow up and go out in the world.

bchgirl 07-25-2008 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YorkieRose (Post 2137150)
As to the kid threathening to call 911...I would tell her it will take at least 5 to 10 mins for the police to arrive...and in those 5 to 10 mins she will REALLY need 911...because I would beat the meanness out of her..
These types of kids boggle my mind...I know without a doubt it starts as you bring them through the door from the hosptial..they have no respect or healthy fear of authority...and it is worse as the grow up and go out in the world.


Laughing.

My girlfriend's daughter used to threaten calling...finally GF picked up the phone saying...here I will dial the number. What you do not understand is YOU will be taken from the house. They do not come get ME...I'll still be here. You will not. And that was the last time she'd heard that threat.

I think leaving places exactly...twice was all it took for my daughter to realize I meant business. It is very effective.

Mine never threw tantrums in public...but at home...I would leave the room. She would actually get up..follow me...and throw herself down AGAIN...the tantrums didn't last too much longer...it's not fun to throw one without an audience. ;)

Graleyne 07-25-2008 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YorkieRose (Post 2137150)
As to the kid threathening to call 911...I would tell her it will take at least 5 to 10 mins for the police to arrive...and in those 5 to 10 mins she will REALLY need 911...because I would beat the meanness out of her..

These types of kids boggle my mind...I know without a doubt it starts as you bring them through the door from the hosptial..they have no respect or healthy fear of authority...and it is worse as the grow up and go out in the world.


My oldest DD (who will turn 14 next month) threatened to call children's services on me for making her wash dishes. :rolleyes: I told her pretty much the same thing. "Go ahead and call, but keep in mind it will take them 15 - 20 minutes to get here and God help you while they are on their way!"

zoeybear 07-25-2008 10:24 AM

If my child ever called 911 on me, they better send an ambulance not the cops! :eek:

I don't know how you control a child like that. I mean if she wont sit in a chair, what's the odds you could make her clean urine off the floor? I think it would take a really long time, but I would go with positive reinforcement and Valium! (Valium for me not the kid)

I almost forgot to say I love to watch those kids act insane on that show. Sometimes it is sad tho'

Catrina 07-25-2008 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SladesMommy (Post 2136505)
I'm not a parent yet, so I don't know what I would've done.

But I do know what my mom would have done with me if I'd done that at that age... I'd have probably been slapped across the face for spitting at her. That is one thing my mom finds SUPER disrepectful. In my house I was raised you don't put your feet on ppl and you don't spit at them. Oh yea.. and you don't point either.

A spanking would have worked for me, they always did. Personally I think more kids today need a spanking every now and then.

yeah i agree too!

Catrina 07-25-2008 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YorkieRose (Post 2137111)
The problem with the 5 yr old started FIVE years ago. The nanny's was called in when mom could not take it any longer.

A child must learn respect..and receive respect back. You parent 24/7..even when you are worn out and too tired to take a breath...but you follow through with any threat and you parent.

Example..my two girls were 3 yrs a part...they were really good girls, but we had problems from time to time...once it was when they acted up in the store while I tried to grocery shop etc.

When they were 4 and 7 yrs I took them to the grocery...a fight started, then they wanted me to by junk, toys etc..they were warned twice to stop and if I had to warn again, they would go home...they started another "poking at each other" fight...I stopped shopping, put them in the car, drove to the curb of my house and told them to GET OUT!!! Bill was home.

When I got home I had two very sorry, apologzing girls...but I did not give in and take them with me the next time...I told them I was not conveniced they would behave...another week of no shopping with mom seemed to really sink in...the 7 yr old wrote a note promising they would be good in the store and the 4 yr old signed it...

I took them that week and had perfect angels the rest of the years I shopped with them...except one time when Jodi set off a fire alarm in Pebbles Dept store, but I understood the temptation of "DO NOT TOUCH"...when you are 6 yrs old.

This is a long way of saying..set rules and limits.and follow through.

My daughters are adults now...last week when the older came for a visit we went to Ruby Tuesday's and a kid of about 8 told his mom to shut up in a loud voice..Jodi turned to her sister and said.."if we did that Mom would walked out and left us sitting here"...and she was right.
When she was 4..she laid on the floor of the A&P and had a fit...I moved to the next aisle and let her have her fit...she stopped right away without me as her audience...


wow good job.. you should have been on the show to guide the mom ;)

Yorkiekids 07-25-2008 11:46 AM

First I'd take her to a Psychiatrist, and if he advices set her up in counseling. I would also put a suitcase in her room, and when she asks what it's for. I'd tell her that if she disliked living with you so much she could pack up, and you'd find a place such as a foster home. Sometimes you have to use tough love.

xxmxaxrxyxx 07-25-2008 12:10 PM

i too believe in spanking...i think maybe that is the reason why society now has all these disobedient crazy kids/maniac running around because parents are no longer allowed to spank their child with getting srs involved!

sammiz 07-25-2008 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxmxaxrxyxx (Post 2137489)
i too believe in spanking...i think maybe that is the reason why society now has all these disobedient crazy kids/maniac running around because parents are no longer allowed to spank their child with getting srs involved!

I would have smacked her little hinney and put her in her room. She wouldn't have been allowed out without an apology.

This is The Parents Bill of Rights (I love this!!):

My son came home from school one day,
with a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
to put me in my place.

"Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'

It says I need not clean my room,
don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
and I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me,
my body's only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals,
like your Mama did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights,
so you can't influence me,
or I'll call Children's Services Division,
better known
as "C.S.D."

Mom's Reply and Thoughts


Of course my first instinct was
to toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping
at the local Goodwill Store..
I told him, "Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D .
who said they didn't care
if I bought you K-Mart shoes
instead of Nike Airs.

I've canceled that appointment
to take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. is unconcerned
so I'll decide what's best."

I said "No time to stop and eat,
or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
to make your own sack lunch.

Just save the raging appetite,
and wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
a favorite dish of mine."

He asked "Can I please rent a movie,
to watch on my VCR?"
"Sorry, but I sold your TV,
for new tires on my car.

I also rented! out your room,
you'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. requires
just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski,
dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
instead of C.S.D..?"

xxmxaxrxyxx 07-25-2008 12:21 PM

this awesome! i am going to print it out! hehe...thanks for the laugh!

YorkieRose 07-25-2008 12:30 PM

demon kids
 
Did anyone see the kid on Dr Phil who slapped his mothers face...? Some things are worth going to jail for..she should have smacked him back and anyone watching would have cheered.
We are told not to stoop to their level..but I remember biting my mother one time on the neck while she was driving...remember we had no car seats or belts.. I was standing behind her...my mother stopped the car and bit me in the same place..I never bit her again..

Jodi started biting her sister at the age of 3..I tried to be a modern day parent, talk to her, no dessert etc....nothing worked..so I told her the next time she bit Melisa, her sister was going to bite her in the same place and just as hard..of course she did not believe me and bit her hand again..I held Jodi's hand and told Melisa to bite it..Jodi screams.."that really hurts"..and she never bit her again...

journey826 07-25-2008 12:34 PM

Sammiz
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by sammiz (Post 2137499)
I would have smacked her little hinney and put her in her room. She wouldn't have been allowed out without an apology.

This is The Parents Bill of Rights (I love this!!):

My son came home from school one day,
with a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,

to put me in my place.

"Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'

It says I need not clean my room,
don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
and I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me,
my body's only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals,
like your Mama did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights,
so you can't influence me,
or I'll call Children's Services Division,
better known
as "C.S.D."

Mom's Reply and Thoughts


Of course my first instinct was
to toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping
at the local Goodwill Store..
I told him, "Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D .
who said they didn't care
if I bought you K-Mart shoes
instead of Nike Airs.

I've canceled that appointment
to take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. is unconcerned
so I'll decide what's best."

I said "No time to stop and eat,
or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
to make your own sack lunch.

Just save the raging appetite,
and wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
a favorite dish of mine."

He asked "Can I please rent a movie,
to watch on my VCR?"
"Sorry, but I sold your TV,
for new tires on my car.

I also rented! out your room,
you'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. requires
just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski,
dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
instead of C.S.D..?"

I loved this I can't stop smiling.

I would have spanked her,sorry she sounds like she was out of control of her mind
(what do we do when people lose it or panic)well in the movies they slap the sense back into them and I would have had to oblige her this time.

I remember a time when my boys were about 5 and 7 and we went to the grocery store.they were going up the isle touching things and bringing stuff back and putting it in the cart.after about 30minutes of nicely correcting them I had a vision of peace.They had really long hair then so I took their ponytail and tied each to the cart.smiling as I continued shopping.
An outraged woman stops and says to me that is cruel and I will call the police and cps if you don't untie their hair.
I calmly told her I need to shop TODAY! RIGHT NOW! if we are going to eat tonight and if she was so concerned she could watch them while I finished shopping.

she looked at me in disbelief, thought about it for a few seconds and went about her day.they were so embarrassed.I never had a problem with their manners in public again.
NOW on to my 7 yr old:rolleyes:

xxmxaxrxyxx 07-25-2008 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YorkieRose (Post 2137513)
Did anyone see the kid on Dr Phil who slapped his mothers face...? Some things are worth going to jail for..she should have smacked him back and anyone watching would have cheered.
We are told not to stoop to their level..but I remember biting my mother one time on the neck while she was driving...remember we had no car seats or belts.. I was standing behind her...my mother stopped the car and bit me in the same place..I never bit her again..

Jodi started biting her sister at the age of 3..I tried to be a modern day parent, talk to her, no dessert etc....nothing worked..so I told her the next time she bit Melisa, her sister was going to bite her in the same place and just as hard..of course she did not believe me and bit her hand again..I held Jodi's hand and told Melisa to bite it..Jodi screams.."that really hurts"..and she never bit her again...

i am so sorry but a vision came across my mind when i read that your mom stop the car and bit you back...i am roflmao....thanks for the laugh!


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