Dont be down about yourself. You are just as beautiful as each and every person out there, whether they be 90 pounds or 500 pounds. Please be happy with how you are and dont let being down ruin your life. I some times wish that I wasn't such a freak about things. I have had a few people tell me that they wish I had my body since I have 2 kids and I am tight and toned. And I always tell them that they can take it. If I could give it away I would, along with all the body issues that I have that go along with it. I have always been active. I had my kids and became obsessed with working out. Its like a drug for me. Honestly it is. Watching every little thing that goes into my body and working out dictates my life. I have seen a therapist about my issues with this and they put me on meds. But they didnt help. So I deal with it.
I look in the mirror and see another area that needs work. Or I have a moment where I am inactive so my mind wanders and I think that I am about to turn 30 so I need to make sure that I keep healthy since metabolism slows in your 30s. I wake up every day without an alarm clock and run 7-10 miles. Then I hit the gym, after that I go to work then hit the gym then run. Its an obsession that unless I want to dope myself up on meds that make me feel like complete sh** all the time I have to deal with. If I dont work out then I feel like hell.
I wish everyday that I could be happy in the body that I have even with the flaws.

On a side note though, people always think that because I work out and stay fit that I am stuck up or whatever and feel the need to point out heavy people to me. Now you all know that I am about as sarcastic as they come so I make sure that when they point out some one who is heavy I point out a flaw that they have, then I point out how f-ing rude they are. My mom is heavy and has battled with wieght issues all her life. She makes jokes about how ironic it is that I am the complete opposite in my battles with wieght and fitness. And to be honest. Its not a joke. I know that I am obsessive about things but I can not help it. I am sorry to babble on but I just wanted to point out how it is on my side of the fence also.
Just remember, you are as beautiful as any one else in this world. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

I really understand it must be tough going through what you are going through!
As you might know I work with overweight people here and I'll give you a little piece of advice for you to get started on treating yourself better :)
Maybe you can use and maybe not....

A LOT of overweight people are emotional eaters. How can you tell if you are one of those? Well, from today and for one month you are not going to eat or drink anything between dinner and breakfast - at ALL! You can drink water and that's it.
If you are an emotional eater you will find yourself being depressed, angry, anxious, tired, restless - or a combination of these things.

So what do you do if you are an emotional eater?

Most people can't do this by themselves and emotional eaters are often people who put everyone before themselves, so they are not very good at asking for help. But take the chance to help yourself get a better life and go see a therapist.
You need to establish what the food does for you?
It could be against boredom or loneliness. It can be a way to repress feelings instead of dealing with conflicts and negative feelings, you shove food on top of them and hope they go away.
It can be a way of filling that big empty hole inside of you that sometimes feels so intense you wanna cry - instead you eat till you no longer feel it.

When you have established that you must find another way of fulfilling that need - here, your network in very important - you need to learn to talk about yourself to your surroundings.

When this is done, you will find that you loose weight automatically because you only eat when you are hungry.

If you are not an emotional eater, there is only the tough way - altered lifestyle - and with your knee that will take a while. But you can still go swimming in the local "swimminghall" (don't know the word for that in english)
That will also benefit your knee.

I feel with you and I hope you get through this - for hating yourself is so unhealthy for you - but also for your surroundings. It is hard to keep loving someone who thinks they don't deserve it.

Good luck! :hug:

OMG!! You have just described my life! Thank you for the advice. I think I will try the no eating between meals and see how that makes me feel emotionally. Thanks again!

I've battled with my weight my whole life. People have said horrible things to me, even my own father has crossed the line. It does get me down, but there is so much more to life that just the way a person looks.
You are not alone in your battle--keep your chin up.

Can't people say the meanest things? Usually its someone who can eat whatever they want and not gain an ounce! I usually come back with "Thank you for kindly pointing that out! I wondered why my clothes didn't fit anymore!"

Thanks for the kind words. I'm better today. :)

I'll take that a step further - tell them with a SMILE...."I may be heavy but I can always lose weight..... Ugly is forever".

LOL :lol tears I'll have to remember that one too!

Eensor, I'm glad you're feeling better today--we're all with you! :)

I agree - hope today is a better day !

Glad you're feeling better too! Something to think about:
Imagine you go to the mirror and when you look into it you see a skeleton draped with saggy skin? Imagine people telling you that you can wear anything you want because you are so skinny - and knowing that you can't because tight pants make you look like a chicken and belly tops show that extra skin that won't go away no matter what you do? Imagine people asking you if you are sick, telling you you should eat more, hugging you and not wanting to again because you seem so fragile and they can feel your bones? Imagine the horror everytime you get sick and start to drop a few more pounds?
I've been on both sides of this fence, and believe me I would rather be back up to 175 on my 5 foot frame than where I am now. I still have the skin and the stretchmarks and they will never go away. But - I learned that no matter where I am at physically, if I find the good inside myself others see it too and I feel perfectly fine with who I am even though I am imperfect, I haven't met anyone yet who is!

You're so sweet! Actually, I too have been on both sides of the fence and believe me, too thin is better than too fat! When I met my husband ten years ago, I was way too thin! He must look at me now and think what the hell happened?

When I met my hubby 15 years ago, I was at a good weight, had breasts and hips and even a butt! Now, I have nothing but skin. I asked him one day if it bothered him that I had gotten so thin - and he told me the sweetest thing: When we got together I knew that one day you would get older, you would wrinkle and sag, your hair would turn gray and you would get fatter or thinner. But I loved you then, I love you now and I will love you no matter what, just don't change who you are on the inside because that's who I feel in love with, that's the person I want to spend the rest of my life with - and you still have the cutest butt I have ever seen! God love him, he is so good to me and I am so blessed to have him, so I strive to stay the same on the inside just for him because that's who he is in love with!
You are in my prayers and my heart - us imperfect people have to stick together you know!

awww thats sooooo sweeet!!!!!!!!!!!

Remember it's just between dinner and breakfast - all other "in-between"-meals are rarely the trigger of anxiety. Good luck! :hug:

I can understand the frustration, I to am extreamly overweight. 284lbs to be exact, and on a 5ft5in frame. I have been heavy most of my life, but never like this. I actully started a weight loss program and lost 40 lbs, and then for some reason just quit. Which as you know just packs back on the puonds and then some. I figured out I had to be ok with me weather I was 300lbs or 135lbs, without that I would never lose the weight. I have struggled...a lot, but i relized recently that I want to change, and I am finding reasons to encourage myself everyday. I am back on that program, and down 7 lbs from my restart weight. It is a long hard road, but never get down on yourself, i found that is the worse thing you can do. In fact when I do that I eat more, dont exercise and gain weight

You have my support and if you need to talk I am here

Hey maybe we should start a YT healthy living buddies, we can coax each other a way from the cookie jar! :dribble: :dribble: