I completely understand where you're coming from - it can feel like a lot of pressure when the other family really "loves you FOR him" (as well as him loving you). I mean, it's completely lovely - of course - but overwhelming for some of us too.

Whenever we'd go on weekends w/ the fam - we'd just always talk ahead of time about how we were going to get bits of time alone together too (walks, boat rides, whatever) - just to decompress a little from all of the togetherness. It helps.

But yeah, it's hard sometimes to take the big leap - until suddenly you just "know" - then there is nothing hard about it at all, and it's all easy. :)

I feel like I "know' he is it. He is the one and its going to happen... and maybe thats what makes me panicked... sometimes I feel that Im still too young (at heart at this point.. Im 31) to get married and settled down. ya know? So sometimes I panic a bit at the thought of losing my independance even just a tiny bit. Although today I had it out with him a little bit, I feel that we are perfectly independant capable people, him & I. I am going away this weekend with some girlfriends. He is ok with it, but clearly bummed out. I am not happy about it. I shouldn't have to feel GUILTY because Im going away for a night. So he is stessing himself out bc he wants to see me as early as possible on sunday but his ex-wife is giving him crap about getting the kids. I try to make things easy bc I dont have kids or an ex that I need to keep contact with. I dont see my dad but I am going to see my grandfather on sunday, well my guy can't make it due to scheduling conflicts with his kids and family and hes now MORE upset that he cant see me tonight, saturday and now not until late on sunday. I dont want to hear it because it scares me to think hes become dependant on my company enough that he gets upset with 2 days apart. That, to me, is not healthy.

blah blah blah.. maybe its just me! Maybe Im TOO independant. My mom thinks I'll never get married because Im too independant. lol

*Looks around guiltily* - I didn't get married until I was 38!!!!!!! Only because I'd never met anyone prior to that who made me want to stop being single. And, I guess I just wasn't ready - and I wasn't worried about kids, bc I knew I'd be happy with or without them, mine or adopted. So, I met Tony when I was 36, we started dating when I was 37, and we got married when I was 38. Old lady!

On one hand, I think it's so adorable that he wants to see you so badly. On the other, I do know what you mean where it kind makes you feel caged in. It sounds like you just have a wonderful independence that, on one hand, he probably adores - but on the other, probably makes him feel a bit insecure. He probably just needs a little reassurance that you're not going off to have a "Girls Gone Wild" kind of weekend, lol. It's sorta cute. "HONEY, we're only going to ONE male strip club. ONE. Mmmkay?" :D

I just want to say I so know how you are feeling. But that being said, I would like to offer some advice. DO NOT tell him that you think you will be bored and would rather be somewhere else. He is close with his family and they are close to you which should be telling you that he also think YOU are the one. If you tell him you don't want to go.. he AND HIS FAMILY will more than likely feel like you do not want to bond with them. Part of being in love is showing consideration and love BACK to him AND his family. It sometimes is a hard concept.. but really when you settle down with someone special it always includes their family. If they are close.. that is wonderful because families are the one thing you can count on... if they are NOT close.. well then you are still inhereting them.. just not on the same level. I think you should go.. show some excitement and look for fun things to do. really take the time to get closer to him family.. they sound like wonderful people. You won't regret not hurting him by telling him you don't want to go. I would hate to see that drive a wedge between you. There are so many people who have problems.. cheating, abuse, etc.. Your guy and his family sound wonderful and if you go into it with openb eyes and an open heart I know you will be happy you went.

38!!! Good for you for holding out until you found the right guy!! Its hard to hold out when everyone around you is taking the plunge, having kids etc... ive lost touch with friends because they got married and had kids and didnt have time for single girls like myself, but Im holding out for 'The ONE'. This guy Im dating could be it. As long as he relaxes about time apart. I cannot be glued to anyones side, its not me.

I was with a guy from age 19 to age 28. We bought a house when I was 25 and got engaged when I was 28. The relationship was 9 years before engagement and 5 months engaged before he ended it. Needless to say that left some scars on me that I dont think are fully healed yet. It ended almost 3 years ago so Im doing well and feel ready for a new relationship. However in that relationship we were VERY independant from each other. I knew it was not good to be that seperated but I also know its not good to get upset when your partner is going away for 2 days! LOL

The most Im going to do is get a motorcycle ride (should probably tell him I wont! LOL) or/and get another tattoo... IF I even do those things. He is cool to talk to about stuff, but when it comes down to it maybe he is a little insecure. I tell him all the time how awesome and HOT I think he is. I mean it too! I just hope he chills out. Its not all that bad!
Unfortunately this trip just falls on a weekend he does not have his kids and we usually have a date night or something and so he does not have the kids or me this weekend.. I know that bums him out. It bums me out too, but it is what it is. No biggie.. many more weekends in this lifetime! :) Thanks for listening and understanding! Sometimes I feel so normal but maybe I am dysfunctional too! LOL

Thank you! I am going and I would never tell him that I dont want to or would be bored. I do wish that it was not our first overnight trip. And I do wish it were somewhere a little more my style (and his style) than the cape but... Im going to have fun. I always can make the most out of any situation. I hate being upset or miserable, then everyone is miserable and its not fair, plus if I hold onto being a brat, then its just ME who is losing out, noone else. :) Thanks again!!!

At least you don't have to go to the BOONIES of NORTH CAROLINA to spend a week with a mother-in-law who HATES you!!

I consider you pretty lucky :p You'll have fun and it will be great bonding for you and your man.

About him being a little worried about you leaving, I can completely relate. I was in a really bad relationship for three years before meeting my wonderful husband, and my ex would frequently go out and do stuff that should not be done while in a relationship. I used to be OK with being left alone for a bit, but after a few years of that crap I became so insecure about it. Even though my hubby is 180% different than the ex, I still have major issues with some things. It's just me. I imagine it will continue to change, but I think it will take a long time. I wonder if something happened in his past to make him a little insecure?

Well, good luck and have fun!! He will love you even more for it!

You are right. It IS absolutely YOUR choice whether you have a good time or not. Hugs.