Is my daughter behind???
 

My daughter is thirteen months now. She refuses to drink from a cup, feed herself, or even pick up food with her hands & put it in her mouth. We've tried & tried to get her to do these things, but she throws a hissy fit & refuses to do them no matter how hard we try! Is she behind or is this normal? Do any of you have any advice as to how we can get her to drink from a cup & feed herself? I honestly feel like she's going to be drinking out of a bottle until she goes to kindergarden!!! & I also feel that I'll be feeding her with a spoon until she's eighteen :( I just don't know what to do about this, & me & my hubby are at a loss as to how to help her out with this.

Amy

I don't think she's behind. Just keep trying. :) Trust me, if she gets hungry enough she'll feed herself eventually.

She won't even eat a cookie, cheerios or cracker on her own?

maybe you can make it a game. It's fun to play with food

No, she won't :( She makes us feed it to her!!! We've tried to get her to hold it herself, but she'll get really scared of it for some reason & start crying!

Amy

did you start trying at an early age?
I'm asking this because i know someone who was so afraid her child would choke that she didn't try giving solid food until she was over a year old and had lots of teeth. The girl hated solid food and would gag on it. Took her a long time to get over it.

maybe you could throw cheerios around with her and be silly or crumble up a cookie make a big mess and laugh. just make food fun to touch is what i'm getting at.

all children are different and learn at different rates, try not to worry. I have a question though, is she able to hold the spoon, or cookie? is it that she doesnt want to or that her muscles in her hands are week?How are her fine motor skills?

We didn't start at an early age because we honestly didn't know, lol. We had no idea when to start giving her a cup or trying to let her feed herself, but after her one year checkup from her doctor, we found out that she's supposed to be feeding herself by now & drinking from a cup :( She will eat solid food, but only if we feed it to her ourselves. She knows that she is supposed to chew it & she chews very well. Thank you for your advice! I will try this for sure.

Amy

She can hold & pick up things very well, so that isn't the problem :) She's constantly picking up stuff off of the floor when she walks around that we didn't even know was on the floor, lol!!!

Amy

She doesn't sounds behind - she sounds SMART. She's got you trained:p

You may have to listen to her throw a fit a few times until she figures out she's got to do it herself.

I think toddlers are brilliant!

:thumbup: ... I agree ... some take a little longer and some do it way early .... just keep on trying and make it a game .. she will get used to it soon ....

I am of the same mind-----ignore the negative behavior and when she does pick up the food or drink on her own----have a praise party and let her know how brilliant she is.

Also while you are doing the table stuff, talk to her about what a big, strong and independent girl she is and how her fav characters or toys look up to her because she can do things on her own.

Never underestimate how much she will understand.

Another thing would be to take her to wally world or some such and let her choose her own dish set with matching utensils. You know, the plastic toddler kind. All the while talking about how only she can use them, not mommy or daddy because they are special dishes that can only be used by very special little girls.....

You get the idea--it's about her feeling impowered and wanting to do it herself.

You can also make mealtime over after 10 minutes if she refuses to do it herself-----do this with no anger or fuss, just very matter of fact, ignoring any fit she'll throw, dialoging the whole time about how she's a big girl and can feed herself when she's ready----trust me, bite the bullet and stick to this and she WILL start feeding herself.

eather make a game out of it, or just take away the bottle for good she wont go long without drinking and the same with food she will do it once she realizes you wont anymore.

Thank you everyone for your advice!!! :) I will definitely be trying these things out for sure :)

Amy

I am sure you are a GREAT mommy. First time mommies can get frustrated at times...Know what??? So do all mommies. However, when you say she makes you feed her, it sounds like the tail is wagging the dog. Do not think I am rude...I have been there, too. They have beautiful little minds all their own. She sounds like a smart independant little one. She is still very young. Have you tried sitting her in the high chair with a favorite goodie and go about doing your dishes, etc.? As long as you stay in front of her, she will expect you to do what she has commanded you to do all along. Why wouldn't she....she has won every time. I bet if you peeked back at her, she would be nibbling on what you left on her tray if it seems to be a fave of hers. Do you all sit around the table at the same time having family time? Where she observes mommy and daddy feeding themselves? If she screams for your help, kind of put her off for a moment....do not say "you do it"....act like you are going to help her but tell her "in a mionute". At some point, she will slip something into her mouth.....give her a chance for second attempts before praising her but then let her know how proud you are and what a big girl she is...just like her mommy. Remember, she is still young and do not even think she is behind.....in fact, she is quite ahead, already knowing how to work the system!!! Smile inside, knowing you have been given one of the greatest miracles of life....Good luck....one of these days and, I believe, real soon.....you are going to look back and see it was all a part of her "growing up" segments.....and not to discourage you but you are going to have a lot more. I am thankful God gave her a loving mom that cared enough to worry over the "small stuff". By the way, the bloggers here gave you excellent choices of things to do....We are all lucky to have this site to come to.

Keep the faith.....You will do just fine...... :-)