I need some advice please
 

I may be moving into an apartment in 2 weeks.. Applied today and paid 50.00 application fee:rolleyes: I am movng to get out of the house my husband and I lived in our entire marriage plus I will be a lot closer to work, here is the problem i got this new job making more money but I will be paying rent for the first time so the extra money will be going to rent.. I currently pay next to nothing b/c the house we lived in belongs to my mom (who lives elsewhere) and is paid for...Everyone is telling me Im making a mistake. They are all like why move from a house with a yard to an apartment where you will be paying double what your used to.. What do you guys think, I want a fresh start and its hard on me to still live here and sleep in the same bed/bedroom and i know moving will give me the fresh start I need:(

That's a tough one. If you can think a year or two down the road and it may be easier with time to stay at the house. In the current economy I would try to stay in the house that cost's hardly anything. but you have to make the decision and live where you feel comfortable. Good luck in your decision

Hmm..it is a tough one. With today economy, I would stay...stay at your current house. Good luck!

I think a fresh start would probably be good.

What are you going to do with the house? If at all possible I would hang onto it for a few months, just in case you change your mind.

I think it's so rare to have an almost free place to live - *what* a luxury. Especially given the fact that you are breaking out on your own. I completely feel for you in terms of the memories the place has for you. But, if it were me - I'd stay there, I'd take a couple months worth of rent - and re-paint, buy some fresh stuff - re-do the bedroom. Somehow, make it *just* your own. And, save all that rent money down the road. :)

Me I'd stay too.
 

With the extra job or better paying job, I'd go buy new furntuire,paint and drapes and change bedrooms. If there's a second bedroom. grab that one and make it yours. and take the master bedroom and make it a office/sewing room. In the long run,my clothes and stuff and all out everything goes, I'd stay where I was at. and just go nuts and redo the house. LOL apartment after living in a house can be rough. tyty

Actually the re-doing the house does sound more appealing than paying rent! Thats probably what I would do.

I was thinking the same thing! Use the extra money to renovate the house and GET A NEW BED! You can make it seem like a brand new place if you change things around. I think you would be better off in the long run to stay where you are.

It is a tough decision! I had the same decision to make with my first marriage. At the time, because of my daughter, I chose to stay in the house. I felt the same way as you & wished for a fresh start.....that's what he was doing.:rolleyes: right? It was a struggle to keep up a house alone. But, with you & it being your Mom's house, this could make it so much easier for you financially right now. Possibly redo things to look totally different. You'll have the chance to sell furniture, buy new things, change colors & totally redecorate if you want to make the place look like a fresh start! I wish you the very best!

thanks everyone, I did think of renovating but the problem with that is it is my moms house so Im very limited in what I can do..Im not sure yet what to do I feel so torn, my son wants to move (mostly because the apartments has 2 pools, tennis court, playground:rolleyes: ) thats all he's thinking about, he will have to change schools and he understands that. Also living in the city is very appealing to me, right now I live about 15-20 minutes from Wilmington so I pay a lot in gas and put a lot of miles on my car to go to work, I hate yard work and living in the country.. Plus the aprtment has a fenced in dog run for Gizzie;) This is such a hard decision for me

Personally, I wouldn't move. I'd get rid of the bed and buy a nice new one with all new linens. And I'd redecorate the way you want things to be so they don't remind you of the past. I'm sorry. Im so jaded, but it's crazy to leave the great place you're in now b/c of a stupid man. WHY let him make your life more uncomfortable???? I'd just erase as much of him from there as possible and go on and live a really happy life. You're a beautiful girl, and the best revenge is always living a good life;). Oh...and if you really want to move, you can take some time to save up money while you make your plans.

If the savings in gas is equal to what you'd have to pay extra to get the new apartment, I think it's fine, since it's basically breaking even.

But with starting a new job and never knowing how it's going to work out, maybe you should wait just a few months to see if you really enjoy the new job and how it's going before paying so much additional in rent.

Also, what are your goals for the future? Do you want to buy a home at some point? If so, you could be utilizing the lower rent you have now and saving for a nice downpayment on a home you could own with the better paying job you have.

jmho but it sounds like you have already made the decision...;) I think you should take the new life! it would be good for both you and your son to have the diff. distractions! ;) I think it would be nice if you could stay at your moms house and renovate the house... but I think you know whats best for you and your son! ;) good luck!

personally, i would WANT to move...
but paying so much for an apartment would be difficult..
i understand about the whole sleeping in the same bed you both shared thing..
hmm..... maybe you could try to change your bedroom to another?? just to see if that would ease the pain of living there just enough to make you stay.

In your other thread, I suggested to "get a fresh start" by getting rid of the old and getting all new furniture and memories, etc. Now seeing that you are in a house that you have no financial issues, I would say stay. Although you cannot renovate the house, maybe get new furnishings and maybe you could paint?

I would say stay and save up money as well as enjoy the calmness of where you live. It is a tough decision with your son involved but I think being able to save some money and enjoy the peace and quiet has a lot of merit. Good luck on whatever you decide.

I was just thinking about you today and wondering how you were doing. Sounds as if you are ready to make some changes in your life----to move on. You have to do what is best for you. Support from here for whatever you choose.

Hon, if you are that miserably there, then if you think you can make it financially with the new apt, it could be for the best. Unfortunately, finances play a major role in our decisions. It does sound as though there are alot of amenities for you & your son, meet new people, close to your job, not feel so alone in an empty house in the country, especially if you hate yardwork!:( lol. YT friends are here to give you pros/cons. We don't know all the details & what you're feeling inside. It does sound appealing for a fresh start!:thumbup: I'd give the same advice to my daughter. You're doing the right thing by talking this out!

as far as gas goes I wouldnt be breaking even exactly... maybe saving 150.00 a month n gas... Im getting a great deal, the complex has renovated half the apartments and half are the same so I chose the unrenovated( its not run down in the least bit) a 2 bedroom 2 bath for 619.00 a month including the pet fee and trash pick up and it has a lot of great amenities I know it sounds crazy to go from almost no rent to rent but I have literally lived in this house my entire life and it has never felt like my personal space.. on the other hand the security I have living here is very nice,If something happens and I lose my job or whatever i know my mom isnt going to kick me out..I will only be paying an additional 150.00-200.00 a month more when I take into consideration gas, lights will me much cheaper, errrrr this is so hard for me.. btw thanks everyone for the support it means a lot to me:)

Took the words out of my mouth! :thumbup::D

:yeahthat::thumbup:

I just heard back from them, I was approved... I have to go today and put down the securuty deposit.....I am so undecided

Keep your house. Take your extra money and 'freshen it up'... paint your bedroom, get a new bedroom set, get all new linens, pillows, blankets, etc...
Do this in the living room/tv room too, move the furniture around, paint the walls, get some new 'things' for YOU. Make your house more "YOURS' and less 'OURS' and you will see that will make a major difference in your attitude about coming home to the house you shared with your ex, to coming home to YOUR house! watch! :)

Well everyone thanks for your input, I know some of you are gong to think Im crazy but I decided to move.. I went today and put down the security deposit so I officially move in June 24th!!

I hope you all will be happy for me dispite most of your opinions to stay put. I called my mom this morning and got her advice and she said in her opinion it would be the best thing for me.. She said I have always been a city girl at heart trapped in the country and she knew I was never happy here even before my ex and I split up.. She said if I dont like it or something happens I can always sub let it and I will always have a place to live if I ever want to come back....

I feel so many things right now: Terrified for obvious reasons, Hopeful for my future, a little bittersweet sadness this is the place i grew up, but most of all I feel excitement to fianlly have my own personal space and hope for the future! thank you all for your wonderful advice

Crude I didn't see this until now. I'm assuming that the house is in your mom's name. What are here thoughts on it? If you leave then she is forced to either sell it or find a renter, what a hassle in my opinion. I know it would be hard at first to stay but with a little bit of paint, rearranging, new bed, you'd be surprised at how fast the new memories would replace the old ones. Having no house payment would be a blessing with the way the economy is today.

I had a house and moved to an apartment when I got divorced. Totally regretted it. Taking my pups out all the time wears on me, especially when it's piss pouring rain and snowing or I don't feel well. I'd give anything to have my house back. I was forced to sell though because he'd let it go into foreclosure, turns out he used the money to pay off his truck (at least that's what I suspect). I also hated having to get rid of most my stuff because you can't squeeze a 1500 sq ft split level into a 1000 sq ft 2 bedroom apartment. :(

I know the emotions you are going through, trust me. But my vote is that if at all possible stay in the house. I know you need to do what makes you most comfortable though. I'm sending you good vibes and well wishes.

Take care, ah just saw that you already talked to your mom. I'd come help you move hun if you were closer. :)

Signed country girl stuck in the city. LOL

I wouldn't leave!!! You know what? Just redecorate :) Change EVERYTHING if you have to but girl you have it made there! Plus its YOUR family's. don't let him ruin it for you. STAY! Money is so tight out there. maybe take the money you were going to spend and make the changes to your house. I don't think you'd regret it. Good luck in what you decide!

Oops! Sorry, see what I get for not reading the thread before I post!

Well congrats on your new place!!!! I hope all works out for you!!!!!

I'm glad you are getting a fresh start. Rent is so expensive these days, but I think you should do what makes you feel best! You deserve to be as happy as possible. ;)

I have been there, done that. I think everyone is giving you great advice. Stay put. After being in a house, if you have never lived in an apartment I think you are going to wish you had stayed in the house down the road. Completely redecorating is going to help. Moving is not going to help with the hurt from the divorce. Time is the healer. As far as the yard, hire someone with some of that rent money you would be spending and get it done. Your little furbaby will be happier too, I bet. Good luck at what you decide. Divorce is hard to go through no matter where you are or what your circumstances. There will be a brighter future. If we could only see down the road. Everything is going to be okay and you will be happy again.

Well I gave advice that I thought you should stay, but Im glad you did what your heart told you to do. In the end, its not money that really matters and if you can afford it then you should do whatever you can to make yourself happy. In a way this is going to be a HUGE growing up experience for you! You know how to be a wife and mother, and a successful woman, and now you are going to learn independance and financial responsibility more than you already do! Good for you!!! :) (((HUGS))) and BEST of LUCK in your new home!