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-   -   I am so upset....crushed (https://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/off-topic-discussions/124431-i-am-so-upset-crushed.html)

NanaDtreasures 04-03-2008 08:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by yorkiesmiles (Post 1896691)
two things
1. I would get him on tape stating this.
2. I would get a very good attorney - this man is a con artist too
I've tried. I even tried this week to get him to say it in front of my mother.
Poor thing she's 69 years old and has to worry about me now..after 22 years with a good man. :(
He says. I would never do that...BUT....I do have a heart problem
Can I help it if I have chest pains? Do you just want me to die.
I spoke with an area attorney and he said he could do this.
We could try and push it thru fast.
But he will be served before and he could go.
He said he was a con artist too.
He said when you've had enough the money may not mean nothing to you
Well at my age...it does...Its not his..My exhusband and I worked for that

Bizzymammabee 04-03-2008 08:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by NanaDtreasures (Post 1896703)
I've tried. I even tried this week to get him to say it in front of my mother.
Poor thing she's 69 years old and has to worry about me now..after 22 years with a good man. :(
He says. I would never do that...BUT....I do have a heart problem
Can I help it if I have chest pains? Do you just want me to die.
I spoke with an area attorney and he said he could do this.
We could try and push it thru fast.
But he will be served before and he could go.
He said he was a con artist too.
He said when you've had enough the money may not mean nothing to you
Well at my age...it does...Its not his..My exhusband and I worked for that
Might be worth it to offer him like $10k to get lost. I know you worked hard for it but your freedom and piece of mind is worth a lot more.

Superstarkba 04-03-2008 08:08 PM
I would start the filling now, Then have the ofcrs serve him.. But if hes still abusing you Get a TPO (temp protection order) now, he will have to get out of the house.

NanaDtreasures 04-03-2008 08:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bizzymammabee (Post 1896694)
UGG what a freaking bastard. There has to be some way around him. We need someone to do the research for your state. Maybe talk to cariblonde seenig as she is a paralegal....she might be able to find some stuff fast for you on nexis to help out.
You're being way to nice.
You cant imagine what I've lived thru :(
Maybe I will PM her tomorrow.
I dont want to hurt her more.
She is going thru so much right now

NanaDtreasures 04-03-2008 08:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bizzymammabee (Post 1896707)
Might be worth it to offer him like $10k to get lost. I know you worked hard for it but your freedom and piece of mind is worth a lot more.
He laughed at me when I offered him 25,000
He wants my house!!!
He wants me to leave
Its not going to happen
He can kill me for it first...after all hes done to me
I am ready to offer him half ....prenup or not.
I just want out

Superstarkba 04-03-2008 08:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by NanaDtreasures (Post 1896721)
He laughed at me when I offered him 25,000
He wants my house!!!
He wants me to leave
Its not going to happen
He can kill me for it first...after all hes done to me
I am ready to offer him half ....prenup or not.
I just want out

If he was smart he would have taken that.. :rolleyes:

NanaDtreasures 04-03-2008 08:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Superstarkba (Post 1896713)
I would start the filling now, Then have the ofcrs serve him.. But if hes still abusing you Get a TPO (temp protection order) now, he will have to get out of the house.
yes I know hun.
But he'll take my house, or the hospital I should say will take it thru the courts.
He'll be gone with a TPO and I'll be divorced...
But have nothing

NanaDtreasures 04-03-2008 08:30 PM
Heading to bed
 
Thank you all for letting me cry on your shoulders tonight
I dont know whats up with Allie . but Im going to sleep beside her on the couch, so I can hear her thru the night.
I will check back in the morning.
Hopefully someone who knows the law in Ohio can tell me how I can get out of this without losing my house.
Hopefully I can get some sleep :(
Night all...

Connie 04-03-2008 09:06 PM
You poor lady! My heart aches for you and your situation. I will be praying that you can find a good lawyer and get things taken care of in your favor. Bless your heart. I'm so sorry! Best wishes to you!

yorkiesmiles 04-03-2008 09:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by NanaDtreasures (Post 1896703)
I've tried. I even tried this week to get him to say it in front of my mother.
Poor thing she's 69 years old and has to worry about me now..after 22 years with a good man. :(
He says. I would never do that...BUT....I do have a heart problem
Can I help it if I have chest pains? Do you just want me to die.
I spoke with an area attorney and he said he could do this.
We could try and push it thru fast.
But he will be served before and he could go.
He said he was a con artist too.
He said when you've had enough the money may not mean nothing to you
Well at my age...it does...Its not his..My exhusband and I worked for that
When you confront him about his computer use & let him know your filing me for divorce that's when you need to have a tape recorder hidden. Or get one of those nanny cams hidden in something and get him not only in audio, but also video.

I used to think I wanted to be married, but after getting burned almost a yr ago, and also seeing what happened to a man I dumped a number of years ago and how he jumped from wanting to marry me & then marry to someone else 3 weeks later that he new for 3 days - it has just turned my heart off any man - and I'm too young to feel that way - but stories like yours scare me & I think there can't possibly be a man out there worth giving my sanity up for.

BellieBoo 04-04-2008 05:39 AM
hugs and prayers for you... i hope you are having a somewhat better day today... :hug:
nicole

NanaDtreasures 04-04-2008 05:47 AM
I'm here
 
But so is he.
I have to be careful or it wont be the first computer I've had trashed.
I can post to the whelping section..but if he catches me under this post..Ugh
I will post more as soon as I can. Hess not working but hopefully leaves some today.
I cant believe I posted such personal things.
I laid in bed crying and thinking last night.
but this morning I said to myself if one person can help me
And knows how I can get out of this and save my house.
Its worth it to have embarrassed myself.
Thanks everyone again..((hugs))
Ill be back when I can

BellieBoo 04-04-2008 05:51 AM
please don't be embarrassed, we've all been through some tough things, and many through things similar to what you are going through, we're not judging you, we are here to support you and help you as much as we can... i can't help you legally, but i'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers... :hug:

Saleswman 04-04-2008 06:49 AM
If you change your name.....
 
Will he know that it is you posting????? Not sure how that works.....

Best advice.....get a ruthless attorney....sorry, but you need one with steel balls ........my guess is the Judge will find your husband for the snake he is....:thumbdown

Quote:
Originally Posted by NanaDtreasures (Post 1897069)
But so is he.
I have to be careful or it wont be the first computer I've had trashed.
I can post to the whelping section..but if he catches me under this post..Ugh
I will post more as soon as I can. Hess not working but hopefully leaves some today.
I cant believe I posted such personal things.
I laid in bed crying and thinking last night.
but this morning I said to myself if one person can help me
And knows how I can get out of this and save my house.
Its worth it to have embarrassed myself.
Thanks everyone again..((hugs))
Ill be back when I can

Superstarkba 04-04-2008 06:58 AM
I agree change your user nname, then he won't know.

mypreciouspups 04-04-2008 07:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by NanaDtreasures (Post 1896600)
Yes I know....men are visual and so different then women.
But no....he needs those pics big time.
Hes looked at 100's
And sometimes it still dont work.!!!!!!!!!!!:confused:
He doesnt like my body type it seems.
And thats ok....but why marry me this way if thats not what he prefers.
Oh...he may want me on his arm
But he dont want me in the bed :(
I am so sorry you are going through this.. this post breaks my heart as a woman... I do not kno what to say to you that would help you at this time..anne
big hug to your girl..

YorkieAZ 04-04-2008 07:18 AM
Wow! :eek: Debbi I'm just now reading this, hun if there is anything I can do for you, I'm here. I am praying you find the help you need. Not a good time for him to start this crap with Allie due.:mad: :mad:
I feel so bad for you. Hopefully Katelin can help you. Again, I'm here if you need to vent. Don't be embarrased either, we all need the help of our friends sometimes.

a2luckygirl 04-04-2008 07:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by NanaDtreasures (Post 1896696)
Hugs are always good....prayers are even better
Pray that somehow I can get out of this mess
I am praying for you!!
Been here, done that - what u r going through-it is a bad time in one's like!!

a lot of times, they try and make you feel like everything is your fault-It's not! It is their sick way of trying to cope!

Life will be good again- down the road, Hun, there is the is PEACE- its just dwon the road- and sometimes the trip is on a bumpy road!!
I feel so bad for you- I remember so well how bad it is!!

Susan123 04-04-2008 08:24 AM
Oh Debbi, I'm just so sorry that you've had to endure so much. Please, do not be embarrassed. Probably more men than not have subjected themselves and their family to porn. I just want you to know that I'm earnestly praying for you, that the Lord will make a way for you to keep what is yours and to get him out of your life. Again, I'm sorry your having to go through this.

YorkichonBella 04-04-2008 08:35 AM
I am so sorry you are going through this. I know what divorce is like. :( Do not be intimidated by him or his threats. Seek an attorney and do not put this off. Take care of yourself first. Also, do not let him know what you are doing.

MindieRose 04-04-2008 09:07 AM
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I really really wish that pornography was illegal. Not that it would STOP it, but it is all wrong, in all situations, and should be outlawed. I hope you hubby gets some help and actually recognizes that this is a problem, and changes it.
If you go to church, they are often times very willing to help men overcome such addictions.

Big hugs to you. I know it must be incredibly hurtful, and I would be hurting too.

NanaDtreasures 04-04-2008 09:41 AM
You all are so special
 
I wanted to post to you all..
I am just overwhelmed with the support here.
I have so many posts to respond to and PM that I cant read just yet.
I know that someway there has to be something I can do.
I am writing this on WordPad and copying and pasting it to the post so he dont catch me . He is still home and I cant afford another smashed computer
Usually he leaves a lot in the evenings when his friends or family come home to visit .. will read pms..and post more then,
((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))
I cant thank you all enough for the prayers and support

YorkieAZ 04-04-2008 10:51 AM
Take care of yourself Debbi, still praying for you to find the strength you need for what may lay ahead.
That dude better not get violent :mad: :mad:

cariblonde 04-04-2008 11:03 AM
OMG! I just read your post and trust me I know how heartbroken you are, Porn ruined my 10 year marriage to my high school sweetheart it completely took over him.. Like a plague or disease until he had to start making his own porn:( Trust me dont stand by and take this IT WILL LIKELY GET WORSE Please feel free to pm me if you need to talk or you can even call me I will pm you my number if you like just let me know.. I am so sorry for what you are going through but remember your not alone we are all here for you I dont know what I would have done without my YT friends... :love-hug3 please stay strong

cariblonde 04-04-2008 11:06 AM
I am going to research family law in Ohio for you as soon as I can get home( I sneak on YT at work) I want to give you accurate info

red98vett 04-04-2008 11:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by NanaDtreasures (Post 1897633)
I wanted to post to you all..
I am just overwhelmed with the support here.
I have so many posts to respond to and PM that I cant read just yet.
I know that someway there has to be something I can do.
I am writing this on WordPad and copying and pasting it to the post so he dont catch me . He is still home and I cant afford another smashed computer
Usually he leaves a lot in the evenings when his friends or family come home to visit .. will read pms..and post more then,
((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))
I cant thank you all enough for the prayers and support
I'm sorry for you - women don't deserve half the stuff men put us through BUT ....you're talking about smashed computers and 'other things' he's put you thru - it sounds like porn is the least of your problems - I really think you need to get out while you still can. This shattered your trust but it sounds like other things are going on that may be worse and I'd hate to see someone stay in a marriage that isn't going anywhere......

Porn that often is an addiction - chances are - he's also cheating/hookers etc - but I'm more concerned about the 'other things' you talked about. I don't know what they are but it doesn't sound good. Do you think he loves you ? IF HE DOES HE'll get help - but as I said - Looking at alot of porn is a form of addiction...he may not be able to stop.

Good luck - it sucks you've only been married 4 years - but it sounds like you deserve alot better.

cariblonde 04-04-2008 11:33 AM
I just went through and read the entire post, I thought you were only dealing with porn, which is enough believe me, but if you are being abused get out now,:mad: go to your mothers and get a restaraing order this man sounds like a total jackass, having a restraining order will help you tremendously in court you shouldnt have to give him anything! I dont have lexis Nexis here at work b/c we are a real estate firm but I can go over to the University and look at if you need me too, I was reading some of the statutes for Ohio and it seems to me like you can waive the one year separation if you are dealing with adultery or abuse, I need to look more closely though before i can give you any real advice but get a good attorney Even if the retainer is 7000.00 or more think of all the $$ you would save in the long run by not having pay any spousal support, we are all worried about you please keep us updated

red98vett 04-04-2008 11:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cariblonde (Post 1897968)
I just went through and read the entire post, I thought you were only dealing with porn, which is enough believe me, but if you are being abused get out now,:mad: go to your mothers and get a restaraing order this man sounds like a total jackass, having a restraining order will help you tremendously in court you shouldnt have to give him anything! I dont have lexis Nexis here at work b/c we are a real estate firm but I can go over to the University and look at if you need me too, I was reading some of the statutes for Ohio and it seems to me like you can waive the one year separation if you are dealing with adultery or abuse, I need to look more closely though before i can give you any real advice but get a good attorney Even if the retainer is 7000.00 or more think of all the $$ you would save in the long run by not having pay any spousal support, we are all worried about you please keep us updated

hey there ...I didn't know you just went thru a bad time - I'm sorry....It sounds like you could be a huge help to her and at times like this - women need to stick together and help each other.

hugs to you both

Patti 04-04-2008 11:51 AM
Praying for you and please stay safe. Go to family, friends anywhere safe. I know it must be hard to leave with the babies but hopefully you have family that are understanding.

NanaDtreasures 04-04-2008 12:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by yorkiesmiles (Post 1896801)
When you confront him about his computer use & let him know your filing me for divorce that's when you need to have a tape recorder hidden. Or get one of those nanny cams hidden in something and get him not only in audio, but also video.

I used to think I wanted to be married, but after getting burned almost a yr ago, and also seeing what happened to a man I dumped a number of years ago and how he jumped from wanting to marry me & then marry to someone else 3 weeks later that he new for 3 days - it has just turned my heart off any man - and I'm too young to feel that way - but stories like yours scare me & I think there can't possibly be a man out there worth giving my sanity up for.
I cant even begin to answer everyone.
BUT I wanted to write you.
There are good men out there.
I was married to one for 22 years.
A wonderful father to our 3 kids,who treated me with respect always
We are still good friends. He turned 40 and went thru a midlife crisis.
Sad but it does happen
But there are good men (((hugs)))


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