Hubby got a job offer!!!
 

Yay!!! But I feel terrible! All I've done all school year is tell him I refuse to move more than an hour away from home. :( He has had a few interviews here close to come but none of them are going to offer anywhere near what this company just offered my husband. We would honestly live within our means if he made that much starting out, the benefits are top knotch, it's a great package. I feel like I'm dragging our family in the mud and holding us back. I've never ever pictured myself living anywhere but right here. I asked hubby if he wished I wasn't so stubborn and he said noooo. I told him to be honest. He then said maybe. All I keep thinking is money wont buy you happiness so I should push for staying around here, but my uncle gave up his dream to make my aunt happy and they look miserable. He hates his job, (she loves hers) and he acts like he wants something so much more. She refused to move about the same distance we would be a little over 3 hours. Ugh! I need your advice. I need an unbiased opinion. Hubbys family is gonna push for us to go, mine is gonna push for us to stay. What would you do? :confused:

That's a tough one. Could you move an hour away from his job offer so it would only be 2 hours from where you live now so you could still see your family a lot. If it is a good offer and maybe you could give it a try. Nothing is forever. good luck.

That is a tough one but I believe he should be happy in what he does. If that means a move, so be it. I would hate for him to be miserable in his job. Good luck

I think you don't truly know if you would be that miserable moving... Your family is HIM and YOU and of course the babys. You must look at it this way so that you two can prosper. He is doing his job by trying to provide hun. Let him. JMO

My Dad's job required that he move around a lot. I went to I don't know how many elementary schools, and 3 highschools. My brother's had it even worse because I left home at 18 and the family was still having to move around..We aren't talking 3 hours from other family either - we're talking several hours away. My Mom never complained and neither did us kids. We all knew that Daddy's job was important, and he was such a good man, we trusted his judgement completely.

I say all of the above, just to say that I feel that the good experiences (making new friends, seeing new places), greatly outweighed the bad. If you are happy with your partner, home is where-ever you currently are living.

Hugs to you with your decision.:)

I wish you good luck! That one's a hard one. My bf wants to be a chef and wants to go to Italy, Spain, etc. to learn about the diff. cultures and he wants me to go with him. I would go with him cause it's his dream but only if we can take the dogs and if i can somehow still do what i want to do, as in work. Follow your heart and what you think is right for the family.

Sometimes it's best to take advantage of an opportunity. You may love it or hate it, but you will never know if you don't give it a chance. Are you currently working? Do you have children in school that you do not want to uproot? If not, it seems like it would be the perfect time to support your husband and consider the move. Good luck.

Three hours ain't so bad!!....... you can easily visit on a Saturday!!!!.......plus you don't know what exciting new things (in addition to your DH's job) would be in store for you UNLESS you go for it!

I own my own dog grooming business but I've stopped taking customers and just do it for my established customers, family, and friends. We have a 14 month old so no kids in school. I do want to make sure there is a good school nearby and a good vet. My husband said the public schools there are ranked best in the state (O'Fallon, IL). Not so sure about that. :confused: Anyone familiar with this area?

I'm from IL but have never heard of that place, but I'm from northern IL so I'm assuming its at least south of Chicago.

Would it be possible to move, and if things don't work out, move back? I know it'd be hard, but another thing is at least it's 3 hours and not further, so you could still go see your family on the weekends/holidays, you wouldn't have to constantly be flying (as long as you don't mind car rides). I kinda can relate because my fiance's job was going to relocate across the country almost! I cried when he told me, I couldn't leave my friends and family, that was all that was holding me back. Fortunatly though, his job isn't relocating (at least for now, knock on wood)

But then again, like others posted, you'll never know what it's like unless you do it. And if the job opportunity is really good, and can open a lot of doors for him, maybe take the chance and see. Sometimes when people pass up opportunities they wonder about it nonstop in the future.."what if I did this" etc. So I would say go for it! (I know, easier said than done though)

The area is east of St. Louis. I asked him would it be something that we may later regret and he said yes. I also asked him if the other companies may offer him this and he said no. Also, there is a really nice moving allowance. It's something we are going to have to talk about more. Gosh, it's tough.

I moved 16 hours away from my family for my hubby. I miss my family like crazy but after 15 years together he is still the love of my life and I would go anywhere he went. Money doesn't buy happiness but it helps relieve some stresses so that you can concentrate on the happiness. You never know you may love where you go. In my honest opinion, give it a try if it doesn't work then you know but your hubby will also know that you gave it a try for him and your future.

This is my experience and opinion....

The place that my hubby worked for in 2003 was closing its doors and moving everything back to their home base offices in Iowa. They offered hubby a job there. The package was great. They included moving expenses, and better health benefits.

Anyways, his family was pushing for us to go and mine wasn't. It was 10 hours away from our families. I really didn't want to go, but I knew I wasn't be fair to my hubby if I didn't let him try it. So we decided to try it and see how it worked out. We moved to Iowa for a year and then moved back home. My MIL got sick, hubby didn't want to be that far away from his family in case something happened to his mom and we couldn't be there in time. But during that year away from our family, we learned how to communicate with each other all over again. And because we didn't have any family around us to come in between us and they couldn't stick their nose in our business, we fell in love all over again.

I think if we didn't have that break from our families who knows where we'd be today. I just thank God that he gave us this opportunity to reconnect with each other.

So, maybe this might be your opportunity to reconnect with your hubby. If the move don't work out you can always move back.

I would say go for it, but I do live completely across the globe from my entire family. It was really hard to leave my family and first move to Italy. But it was only a 9 hour flight and I was home, no big deal. Now its 28 hours of flying, 1500 dollars a ticket, just to see my family. Yes, I miss them horribly, but I wouldn't trade the the experience I have here for anything.

Really 3 hours isn't so bad. I would die to be three hours away from my family and friends. I say go for it!! But one thing that took me a long time to learn, "don't spend all your time missing what you don't have or you will miss everything going on around you."

Good luck in your decision.


P.S. I'm actually going through the same thing right now. My husband has a job opportunity in Germany but I am not ready to leave Okinawa, Japan just yet. I am so torn because I don't want to hold him back, i'm just not ready to leave paradise island just yet.

Moving can be EXCITING!! Give it a shot, I say. You can always move back. On the other hand, it could open up new horizons for you and you will wonder why you were ever reluctant to do it.

I have lived in New England, in the South, and in the West, and i wouldn't trade my experiences in these places for anything.

I would definitely say go for it! You seem to be at a point in your life where it would be easier to pick up and move three hours away than it would be in a couple of years. True..money doesn't buy happiness, but it helps alleviate the stresses of living your every day life. Especially with the economy being as it is right now and more and more people getting laid off, I would totally take the offer and run! And three hours is nothing compared to what it could be!

You have to listen to your heart and your head here. Money isn't everything, but living totally within your means, especially with young children, is wonderful and means you will be able to do so much more for them as well. 3 hours isn't that far away - it isn't cross country and is easily done for an overnight stay. Sometimes you have to go outside of your comfort zone. If you really hate it, you could make a change then - but you'll never know if you don't try. Good luck with whatever you decide.

I will tell you what I think from a Mother's point of view. All 3 of my children are well over 18.. and each lives much more than 3 hours away. Raising them, my hope was that they learned to be healthy, happy, independent adults. Yes, it would be nice if they lived closer..... BUT that being saID, I am so happy that they are independent and successful. I knew that the day would come that they would all fly the nest. I live in a small town and the job situation here is not what it was when I first moved here. I was lucky enough to get a job on the Navy base that is here and it was a VERY well paying job. It made it so much easier to raise my kids being a single/divorced mother. But it is so much harder to get a job on the base now than it was when I went to work for them. (in fact I just retired from the base almost 2 years ago) My kids all wanted to stay here because it was a small town with relatively no crime. But as I said, the job situation was not good. If you didn't work on the base, you worked for minimal wages. So each of my kids has moved away from here to make a successful carreer elsewhere and I couldn't be happier for them. When my only daughter and her husband moved to Phoenix, I was terribly sad, but at the same time happy for them. They are much better off financially and much happier. We all know that money isn't everything, but in the same breath, money issues are the number one cause of divorce. With free long distance cell phones and a short 3 hour drive to be "home" there is no reason not to be just as close to your family. No missed holidays..... and just think of the fun you will have treating your family when they come to visit. They will be proud. Believe me, it isn't easy to let go, but we all know that our children will grow up and make thier own lives. And that is what we worked for all of those years.

I lived in the same city for 29 years.. married my husband and had to quit my good paying job and move to Germany for 4 years.. my god when I think back about this. I am not sure if I would do this now at my age..
We lived all over as he was a soldier. Finally settled back down for good three years ago.. so my take was if he brought home the income I needed to quit my job, my was dangerous and I did not want him getting out and working where I did.. I went back to my job but 11 years later..
It has to be for the two of you, not for your family or his.. if he joined the army.. you may never get back home until retirement.. My husband would never go back to where he was from.. as he grew up and grew with traveling all over.. and feels he would be too bored going back home.. So when we got married it was he and I.. not parents or siblings to interfere with our relationship.. I am so glad of that.. it made us stronger.. I sometimes wonder if we would be still married had he got out of the military and we stayed right where we met.. I somehow think we would not be who we are today..
good luck with what ever you do..

I say go for it. We moved away from our families and yep, we too learned to depend on each other. It was great and we learned to love each other even more then ever. It was a wonder experience. One time we moved to Germany for three years, what an awesome experience. Yep, I am familar with O'Fallon, its a small town but rather close to St. Louis. My brother in law lives a few miles from there and works at the Air Force Base which is located close by. You never know where life can lead unless you take a chance and go.

If it were me I would make the move. Give it a shot. Money doesn't make a person happy but would suck for him to take a lower paying job and struggle after all that school. You can fly or drive and see your family. Sadly as we get older sometimes for the good of our immediate family we need to make changes, moves and decisions that will make the quality of life for that unit better.

A few mos. ago, we thought myhubby was going to get this one job, I told him I'm not moving to Tennessee, it was 6 hours away, and 2 of my kids and my g-kids are here..but, then, I realized how much more money he would be making, and I got looking at beautiful houses in that area..I got to where I wanted to move, then the job fell through, I was the one crying when he didn't get it..now, he's possibly got another one in the works, but, with this one, it would be quite a lot more $ a year, and we would stay right here..

It is true, nothing is forever! Plus it would be good to see more of the world :) yeah its hard to move but you've got each other and your baby! (hey I take it are you not pregnant? sorry I missed the update on that) It would make your hubby happy probably. And its not sooooo far where you couldnt go visit the fam for a weekend overnight trip, right? My whole fam moved 2500 miles away from me (where we all lived our whole lives) to get away for awhile. First it was hard, but we are all more adjusted. I wish it were only 3 hours cuz sometimes I feel lonely w/o any of them here, but they are happy and I am happy for them! :)

Heck, I moved away from my family over 20 years ago for hubbys job..It took us from home(Illinois) to Tennessee, then Oklahoma, then SC...My dad has since passed, but, I fly home to Illinois about every 3-4 mos to visit with my Mom and my middle son...It's actually not bad at all living this far..

This is something that you really truly need to consider for your family and your marriage.
I had to make this decision 6 years ago when we lived in Washington State. I loved our home, friends and my teaching job. Then my husband came to see me at work one day and told me he was offered a job out of state. I first off said " Nope, not going" we then really discussed the benefits for our family and for his career.
We decided to move and if I really hated it we could move back.

You know what?! I love it here! I have some really great girlfriends, we have some really fantastic family friends, the weather is good (less rain) my family skis 4-5 times a week in the winter, we can be just about anywhere in 4-5 hours driving time.
It has really been a blessing for my family. We do go back to Washington to visit family & friends but it is not home anymore. Home really is where your husband & children are. It is about attitude.
It has afforded us different experiences & adventures we would not have had if we had stayed put.
Good Luck, it is hard, even heartbreaking to leave friends and family but we have a lot of company with friends & family coming to visit us.
I am glad for this life experience.

Well we traveled over to IL and it was okay there. There was a house I fell in love with, but on our way home I cried for 2 hours straight. :rolleyes: I just didn't feel comfortable. I feel terrible to even make my husband consider declining this offer. The town this house was in felt like home to me but everything around it (towns, people, businesses) didn't. I felt so miserable last night I went right to bed which is so unlike me.

I think you're afraid of the unknown, which is understandable! You're comfortable in your town, near family, in your home, with your current grooming customers, and the people you know...but the new place could be just as good if not even great! You could find a home you love, meet new friends for you and for your son, and find new grooming customers. Plus, if he's going to make more $, and they're giving a generous moving allowance, I feel like you have nothing to lose. Why not try it? If it doesn't work out, then you can move back. You won't know until you've tried it. I don't blame you for feeling the way you do-change is hard, and it's really difficult to leave everything you know, plus family! I think if you go, the two of you will learn a lot about each other, and you'll gain so much more life experience along the way.

DH and I live 4+ hours from family (in different directions!), and though we miss them, it's the right place for us to be right now. We've made our own lives, own our home, and have made great friends that have become our family here. Moving away from home means freedom to make your own choices and mistakes, and having to figure things out on your own. But the feeling of being able to do it by yourself is so rewarding!

I know you're married and have been living on your own with your husband for awhile..and I know how much you love them and love having them close for your son (and new baby on the way?) but it's different as a couple and I'm sure as a parent when family's not right there to help...but, if you find you do need them, they're just a few hours away. I sometimes drive 3 hours for work and back in one day-it's really not a bad drive. You'll find that your time with them will be more special since you won't see them everyday.

If you do decide to go, meeting people and making friends will be key to your happiness since you're used to being surrounded by family. Take your son to the park and join a play group, and meet other stay at home moms, or go for a walk with him and Tilly, and meet other dog owners-they may be potential clients! Also, it might be nice for you to get a part time "fun" job, maybe one or two nights a week and/or a Saturday-you could work at a children's clothing store, at a coffee shop, or as a receptionist at a salon, or something like that-that way, you'll have a little extra money to spend, and you'll be out of the house, interacting with new people all of the time.

I really think you should give it a chance-it might be the best thing you've ever done-or maybe it won't...but you won't know until you try. Talk to your husband and maybe decide to put an amount of time on it-maybe 6 months or a year, and then you can reevaluate your situation and decide whether to stay or move again.

I wish you the best!

I have moved several times in my life, often more than three hundred miles from family. When we moved about 450 miles away and in a place that was 100 miles from anywhere, I joined a club called "Newcomers". Their motto is "Bloom Where You Are Planted". It was hard, but honestly, I ended up loving everywhere we lived. I got involved in the community, and we always had many friends. I have lived in the same place now for twenty years, and I think often how neat it would be to move somewhere else. By the way, my daughters also seemed to do well with the moves. Best of luck to you. Oh, and 300 miles is really not very far.;)

Great Post Suzy.

I think you should really try it. Your husband made the sacrafice for the last 4 yrs to get an education, support your family and to prepare to get the best job he can, why hold him back now? It was very scary moving away from my family the first time, but i made new friends and ended up loving it. Then I had to move back home (for mom's health), but Now I can't wait to move back out again! I was 4 hrs away and it really isn't too much.

I've already told the guy I'm sorta dating that I'm the one with the college degree, and we will move where I need to in order to get the best paying job. But then I'm kinda bossy like that. :p