If you were in my shoes
 

what would you do? Heres the 411: I work for my FIL at his optometry practice and I hate it and hate working with him! He's arrogant, rude, and I just want to smack him and run far far away. I drive over an hour each way just to work for him...he calls me before my work day even starts and even after it ends! I'm tired of being followed by my work constantly. I currently bill isnurance, handle the books, his personal finances, accounts recievable and payable, and he wants to give me another job to do the books for his other company. I'm drained emotionally and spirtually and I feel he has crushed me. Every time I say, "I don't like working for you, and doing your stuff." He says, "You'll never find better, you'll never make what you make now anywhere else." I can't explain how bad I hate that I married into this business, my husband even wants out and doesn't even want to work for him either. I'm just stressed and wondering if this is what God wants me to be doing or if theres something else out there for me. I dropped out of college after my 2nd year so I did not finish my degree and I see where my FIL gets off saying what he does. At this point I'd rather live on the streets and starve. If you were me would you stick it out, after all it's my "livelyhood" or say the hell with it and move far far away? :confused:

I'd get out - it's draining the life out of you, NOT healthy. But, does hubby still need to work there? What about a compromise? I mean, given what you do for the FIL - there is a lot you could do from home. So, why not tell him you're drained, you need a change; but, "here's what I'm willing to do"...."I'll do the stuff I can do from home 3 days a week and ...."

Would that help at all or do want to jump ship completely?

I dont know if I can be much help but I can tell you money isnt everthing. I think if we all would live without a few things we would all be better off. I hear people say I cant affored to stay home with my kids. Well they could if they lived less. I mean a smaller house, Less toys, just downsize. That is what I done so I could stay home with my kids. They are now 18 and 15 and they still love that mom is there to do everything with them. It isnt always easy but I wouldnt chang a thing. I have asked my Dh if he wanted me to get a job and he said I could if I wanted to but he loved me home. I hope this helps some.

1st off, how long have you worked for him and what is he paying you? Do you live in a rural area or urban/metropolitan area?

I think you have a lot of good transferable skills. You should be able to find another job, either working for another optometrist or dentist or M.D. You could also work for a corporate office in the accounts payable or receivable office or even in the HR department under their benefits or insurance departments.

You may not make as much money as you make now, but you could find a job that has room for advancement or open to other jobs that pay better.

Careers are not about making the money now (sometimes), but about the long run and what you can get from your job over time with hard work and dedication.

You should be happy (or a least at peace) with your job since it does consume a good majority of your "awake" time in your life. You should not have to "hate" it, because it's like a bad marriage, it will chip away at you and your self esteem until there is nothing left of the "real" you.

I think you need to pursue other career avenues. What have the classifieds offered? Do you have a resume? I would start with getting one done or polish up the old one. Then I would start sending stuff out, either thru the internet like Monster.com or from classified ads that look promising.

I would not quit until a new job is lined up, but I would definitely open myself up to new opportunities and release the old negative thoughts that keep you in the job you are in now. See yourself in your new perfect career, making good money, with less commute time and in no time you will have just that!

Thanks..
 

My husband is still in school so he's not working..we live in a small rural town where theres not much, but 20 mins and I'm in the City so surely theres something. I've started creating a resume and sent it out..I guess we'll seee what happens..I'm just going to leave it in the Lord's hands

Forgot one more thing
 

I want the HECK OUT!

Sounds to me that you have alot of marketable skills even without a degree! Try workopilis(sp?), jobsearch.com, and other sites like these. Bet you find a better paying job with a much nicer employer in under 2wks!:D

Girl, if you have two years of college behind you, you could go back and get a degree in something you enjoy doing. Not, saying you have to have one, but you invested a lot of time not to get something out of it, ya know?

Angie

The best job site i've found (and all my profs recommend it) is www.indeed.com . If you aren't happy at your current job, then you need out.

I don't know if its possible, but have you thought about working and going to school part time? If you had a 3.0 avg when you graduated college and had a 3.0 in college, you should qualify for the HOPE grant.

He treats her WORSE! If I were her I would have divorced him already! :mad:

I dont know how old you are but I am in my 40s so you're gonna hear from someone who has some hindsight ok? I grew up in a suburb of KCMO - my husband and I chased that mighty dollar for several years and we accomplished quite a bit. We got that pretty house in the burbs and we were making excellent money but after awhile it took a toll on us - what we had to put up with to have that pretty house and cars and all the trappings that came with the yuppie life. I realize now that what happened to us 4 years ago was actually a godsend but when it first started happening it was horrible. My husband lost his job - he was the director of an IT company. He did get another job that paid about half what he was earning and a year later they shut down the division and he lost his job again. Now this is a man who has ALWAYS been employed and was not a job hopper. So for a year we struggled trying to make ends meet on an income that was ALOT less. Then a week before Christmas that year, I was laid off (I'm in the mortgage business and have been for 20+ years and I WANT OUT). We were both out of a job, had 2 homes, 3 cars (one was my daughters) and bills. Do you know what we decided to do? We moved to the lake where our 2nd home was (which was and still is a fixer upper lol) and my husband is now a fishing guide LOL. Now I'm still in the mortgage business but all of my friends from KC have lost their jobs because the housing market is so bad. And my husband? HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY. Don't get me wrong, we have struggled and even that word is an understatement but we now see light at the end of the tunnel. I still want out of the mortgage business but I work for a small company and an honest woman and when my husbands fishing guide service stabilizes, I'm going back to school. I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that LIFE IS SHORT - be happy! Listen to your gut instinct- MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING. We wished we would've moved out of the city long before we actually did. Don't let the misery win. You control this - so love yourself and take care of yourself and learn that money isn't everything. You can't take your money with you when you die. Good luck!

Hooliacasa: Thanks, I needed to hear that. You guys were right...my 1st resume I sent out I got a call and the business is in my town!! Like 10 mins from my house...I can go home on my lunch break..its not official I have an interview tomorrow and please pray everything goes well. also on my resume I put my salery req. so I'm keeping my fingers crossed! Now, if I get the job I have to figure out how I'm going to tell my FIL I QUIT!

I would avoid smiling from ear to ear and jumping up and down and dancing with glee! :D

Good luck and sending good vibes your way!

Good Girl!!!!!

How EXCITING! I'm so excited for you!!!! I hope they offer you what your worth! And you know your worth every penny that you asked for! Just think of how much you'll be saving in gas! And stress and tension and fried nerves! Oh, I am just so excited for you!

Even if this is not the one.. Its a start! What is it for?? What would you be doing? What kind of place?? Tell us MORE! :p

Wouldn't that be hard! LOL In her case... I'm thinking... AVOID the hour long drive and spare him the HAPPY DANCE :happyboun and do it over the phone!

this may be a really dumb question , and i get it is a boss, but what does FIL actually stand for?

father-in-law

It seems to me like you need to get out! Good luck with the interview.

Sheilagh

Good luck

I agree with the others - Get out. So many people buy into the conception that they will never get a better/another job and it just isn't so. Best of luck :)

Find another job where you will be happy. It is very difficult to be unhappy at work and happy at home.

The 1st Job Interview
 

:D Well, it's mainly a front office position involving internet research thats really all I know, but I guess I'll find out more tomorrow! Sounded a bit clerical, but I'll keep you guys updated please keep your fingers crossed and I'm a big believer in praying so I'll take any prayers!!!! If I get this..it will be like a cloud removed from under my head! :D

I would get out, move or tell him where to go and how to get there. You owe him nothing, especially not your happiness on a day to day basis. Girl, its a LONG LONG working carreer if you hate what you do day in and day out. You spent the most of your waking hours a week at your job, you have to like it, enjoy it and feel fulfilled by it. I am 31 now and starting back to college to finish up my degree bc I too dropped out of college after 3 years of full time. Its hard but its going to be worth it... I dont want to be stuck in a career or job that I hate just to make a living, cuz I have another 35+ years left to do this!

I was just where you are....but it was years ago and wasn't with fil. I was working at a job I hated and hated the long drive. Hubby was just out of school and didn't have ajob yet. The job paid good but since I wasn't happy, I quit. Got a job closer to home with quite a bit less pay but was much happier. I would go for quitting the old and in with the new. Good luck.

d
thanks! does your husband plan to work with him when he gets out of school? Is optometry his field also? I don't know how i missed what fil was! I work with my husband, father-n-law, and mother-n-law in dentistry. so i guess i have a fil boss too! I don't work full time anymore though, and we usually get along ok. there is always give and take though and advantages and disadvantages. my fil is a nice guy though. I am sorry you are having those problems. I have always heard that your job is like the biggest factor in one's happiness so it is very important to be doing something you like. If your hubby is in this field also, and later you you decide you might like to get back into that line of work, I'm sure he would be very lucky to have you and your experience. I know working with hubby at the beginning and helping to build his practice was very rewarding. But yes short term, I would definitely check on this other opportunity. Good luck tomorrow!

Good luck!

So the job didn't go so well
 

I'm not taking it and I guess it's meant to be but I'm still going to keep searching and see what happens. I've been praying really hard and that God's will is done. My husband was planning on taking over the practice..we even did pre-med in college and his graduating in Spring and now he wants to be an accountant! We've both decided to get out and stay out. Maybe I'll find something close to home and good pay. I guess lifes what you make it and I could make it a happy time at work but it's hard.

Honestly yeah you didn't finish your degree but you have hands on experience. I would seriously look for a job elsewhere. Shop around you might just find your current salary and then some. Doesn't hurt. I dont' think I could manage that for a long time.

Is he related to my f-i-l???
Thank God mine moved to Illinois from down here last August..my hubby and his dad used to own a business together, hubby finally got out, as he couldn't stand working for him anymore..I would look for another job and get away from him..what does your hubby say as far as you quitting?