depressed/frustrated/lonely
 

i just really need to vent. i had a doc. appt yesterday where i found out i have a lump in my breast. i have had 2 lumps previously removed that were benign, but i worry as my mom and aunt both died of breast cancer. i don't have anyone to talk to tonight (friends/family busy/out of town) and i am not able to relax to sleep. I didn't want to go to this appt anyway as it was a yearly physical, and women we all know what that means. :eek: yes, the dreaded pap smear! :(
so i was all worried about that, and then i get the result of my breast exam with the darn lump! :eek: i hate this waiting until i get the mammogram and ultrasound done. i am always a wreck until i get the lump removed, no matter what it is. i just fear that even if it is benign, it could turn into cancer if not removed. i hate freaking out and being even more depressed than i already am, i live in northern Michigan, and it has been one helluva winter! :snow: my tests are on thursday, so if you are the type to pray or send good vibes my way, it would be greatly appreciated. now if i can just turn off my thoughts i will be ok...i just feel so tired and sick of it all. i also have diabetes and a couple other health issues that i have to deal with every day, and right now it all feels so HUGE! :cry8: i have good freinds and family, but my parents are deceased and my brother MIA somewhere probably drinking himself to death. my family (close cousins) live 500 miles away, i don't know what i'll do if it is cancer. whether to go 'home' or not. this feels like home to me now, but if i am seriously ill i don't know what i will do. i live alone, just me and my boy William (Yorkie who is cuddling on my chest right now, he is so sweet!) and my 2 cats. where would i recuperate and who would help me??? so many questions in my head and everything going round and round. :dizzy: and to top it all off, my doc also wants me to have another stress test too. :eek: i need to get away!!! :3plane: :island2: no more worries...wouldn't that be lovely? i hope i get some sleep between now and thursday. :bed_time: well, i guess i will try again to fall asleep.......
Melody

Sending tons of prayers and good vibes your way.

I have been sick with Hypothyroidism lately and they had found some enlarged lymphnodes near my left breast...I was scared spitless. I can only imagine how your feeling now.

I know it's best to tell you not to worry but I know that is not doable. Maybe it would be best to move closer to family in case you do need help recuperating. Do you have any very close friends nearby?

Omg, I feel for you.. how stressful.. I will keep you in my thoughts and pray everthing will be ok. the power of prayer is amazing. Love your baby and I am sure many Yter will keep you in there thoughts..
I know the feeling at times, of feeling alone family wise.. but I have a good hubby, so that sure helps..
Sending you big hugs and lots of puppy kisses from my 4 furbutts...

Melody I am so sorry for all you are going though... I really hope you can sleep I will keep you in my prayers.....

I am sorry you are going through this!Try and not worry to much, until the test is done! Easier said than done! My BF's Xwife has had 2 rounds of breast cancer- and just had a scare last week- another lump! but went in a few days ago- and it was nothing! Scar tissue! Everyone was so upset for a week- and it is ok! So sometimes we all tend to worry when we should wait and know if we have anything to really worry about! Like I said that is easier said than done
I hope you get some sleep w/ your baby at your side!!!
You will be in my prayers! and keep us informed on YT, please!!!

i'm definitely sending lots of love :luvu:, prayers, and good vibes to you! i hope all of your test come out good and hopefully you will be able to feel less stressed until this whole thing is put behind you :)

:heart to Destiny & Odie

You will DEFINETLY be in my thoughts and goooooood vibes are coming your way girl..I hope everything turns out wonderfully for you!! Vent away!!

Dawn

My heart goes out to you. I feel that I am in the same situation.
My daughter has her own life and I am alone here with 2 doggies.
So far I am healthy and self sufficient but I do worry about the future.

I recently had that dreaded flu and was so knocked out,
it was an effort to feed the babies.

I wish I lived closer to you so I could ease your mind and help out.
I wish you the best!
Hugs for you {{{{{{{Melody}}}}}}}:love:

Oh, Melody. Your post really touched me. I wish you weren't so alone right now. My heart really goes out to you and I'm sending lots of good thoughts your way, hoping for all the best. You deserve it. Please update us as you can. :) Hugs.

Melody, I am so sorry to hear this. I can't imagine what you are going through. You will be in my prayers every night. Please let us know how everything turns out. If you ever just want to talk, feel free to pm me.

I'm SO SORRY !!! I so know what you mean about 'turning off' your thoughts - I can't turn mine off either and it's been months since losing my husband -

I hope this is a non cancerous cyst - your odds are good even with your mom & aunt having the same thing (I'm so sorry for your losses) :(

my prayers are with you .... and ps - I live alone now too :( and if you ever need to talk just shoot me a pm -

Huggs and prayers headed your way. Theres alot of support here for you, so your not alone!

im so sorry you have to go through this.sending hugs and prayers your way:)

I am so sorry about your husband. I can not even imagine such a loss. Losing parents, aunts and uncles is not the same I think. It is a much deeper loss to lose your life\'s partner. Thanks for the prayers and invitation to talk. I really appreciate it.
~Melody