celstu1 | 02-06-2008 07:10 AM | Quote:
Originally Posted by Brookef18
(Post 1735760)
I am so happy for you... I have been married for 26 years and I just want to say
#1 Make sure you get to know all sides of him before you marry him. I dated my husband for 3 years before we married. I saw him Mad, greaving, sad, happy, tired. I think I saw just about it all... I think that is important.
#2 My sister has been through a few tough times with guys. This one guy she thought was the one. She moved out of her apartment to live with him. As soon as she moved there were problems... After being with him over a year she moved in and she realised she had made a horrible mistake moving out of her place almost right away. He was awful to her and she couldn't aford to move out. Her apartment was a fixed rent, as soon as she moved out the rent was higher and she couldn't aford it. She was stuck with this guy for Months... and she called crying and we all helped her with money.
I guess what I'm saying is, think very hard about giving up your home and all until you are really married.... Be careful and protect yourself. He sounds wonderful and he probably is. But don't be blinded by your feelings. And if you see ANY red flags listen to your self and take a closer look! | Thank you for the advice, I totally understand and definately see it as valid advice to anyone who was thinking in that direction. I am a little different though, I am 31, been through a 10 year relationship with a guy I was engaged to and owned a home with. I now own my own house, make my own money (pretty decent money too :)) and take care of myself. For me to move in with someone, Id have to sell my house. At this point, I would not do that until I was MARRIED! :) Im just not going to risk what I built for myself for a boyfriend... sorry! Did that and it backfired, not going to do it again! ya know? :)
Im sorry to hear about your sister, I bet she is wiser now. I am wiser after my terrible experience with my ex also, thank goodness! :)
And oh yes, red flags, since my break up from my ex, Im very aware of red flags and not afraid to say so to any guy I dated. ive dumped guys left and right or not gone out with them again bc of reasons that some might find dumb but are important to me. One guy swore too much, sorry but you just sound like an uneducated idiot, I couldn't date him!
I am sooooo cautious of myself and what i built and sooo independant my mom seriously thought Id NEVER end up finding someone bc I tell every guy I meet to get lost after 2 dates HAHA but thats bc I already knew in 2 dates they were not worthy to keep around.
I see NO red flags with this guy at all yet. I know its only been a month, but I've known him for 7 years on a high level (not personal and intimate like, but some knowledge of who he is, also my best friend considers him one of her best friends and absolutely loves and adores him and the person he is, and if I can't trust her judgement in men, who can I? she's been my best friends for 17 years now!) I met him through my best friend and they have been close for 7 years. He is actually a JP and married her to her hubby in Sept. :)
Thanks all :) I am still sooo happy here :) |