...I am so sorry for your loss......Now Maezie is playing with my beloved Bella in Doggy Heaven.........( I am writing with tears in my eyes)........(((Hugs)))...:(

Just wanted to share a pic of Maezie, so I attached a pic to this post. These last 6 days have been horrible. When I lost Bijou a few months ago it hurt a lot but in a very different way than this. He was so old and had dementia, and with Maezie it was just so sudden and unexpected. The shock factor has just been unbelievable. I'm scared that I'm going to be grieving for a very long time. It just shatters your life. And it just feels hard to function and you just feel very sad.

My heart hurts for you. Thank you for sharing the picture of your beautiful girl.

As I shared earlier, I lost our 8 month old boy, Tucker, in a similar way. I know that it is hard to believe that you will ever be able to heal and be hopeful or happy again. I can assure you that, with time, you will be able to exit the fog of shock and disbelief and remember your beloved Maizie in a warm and grateful way. Feel free to pm me if you wish to share...

Joy

This breaks my heart. It's every Yorkie lover's worst nightmare. 3 1/2 is much too young. Thank you for doing the necropsy. I hope it yields some results. My sincere condolences.

Maezie was so beautiful! You're in the midst of one of life's greatest stressors.Losing a beloved family member is so painful and life-altering, especially when it happens so suddenly and unexpectedly. Help yourself with grieving by going easy on yourself, pampering yourself, taking more time to rest and seek out professional help if you need it so that you don't suffer needlessly. Healing from this kind of grief is slow and intense so anything you can do to try to help yourself cope with this deep pain is strongly advised.

I know you aren't "there" yet but one thing that would help you process the pain and move forward would be to consider giving another sweet doggie a loving home as soon as you can. You know there's another dog out there who needs love, hope, needs someone with love and a home to give. Dogs love it when we are happy. Maezie would want you to be happy again and if her passing somehow spurred you to give a needy little dog a loving home, you know she would approve.

When I lost each of my other two Yorkies, I now know I took too long grieving before I reached out for another Yorkie and now realize had I had another little Yorkie to love much sooner, life could have been oh so much less hurtful and depressing than it was. I now know that had I reached for the help and love of another Yorkie, I could have spared myself so much long-term pain.

Thank you everyone for responding to my posts and sharing your sympathy, empathy, and advice. This has been so hard. Maezie, like all my dogs, was very special to me. We had so many experiences together. I got Maezie as a pet but actually decided to show her at dog shows. We had some success and I got some points on her in the altered class. I’m proud that we did that together. It was a lot of fun. And so many other adventures we did together - we got to experience dog friendly patios in restaurants in BC. That’s something that we don’t have in Alberta. And we’ve traveled all over Alberta and BC. We were planning to go to Oregon next year. We also did agility classes too. Agility was where Maezie really excelled. Her boldness really shined through doing that and she really liked it. All the other dogs were scared of the tetter-totter, ramp, tunnel, etc. but she loved it. I was actually in the process of signing up to do agility with her all throughout the winter months. And she was just my baby girl. I loved, and still continue to love, her so much. Out of my dogs, Maezie was the cuddler! Bijou was too before he developed dementia. But for sure she was really big on cuddling, and I really miss that when I lay down for bed.

I’m worried about Théo. He’s my other yorkie. I actually was able to convince the breeder to sell me two dogs at once. Him and Maezie are from different litters but only 10 days apart. Obviously they’re bonded very closely with each other and he’s never been without Maezie this long before. And his behavior has been really off. It’s like he’s been acting really weird and depressed and sleeping more than usual. He’s often been searching for her. All over the house going room to room looking through every nook and cranny. And that breaks my heart to see him do that.

In 3 months I went from 3 dogs to 1 dog. And it just kills me emotionally. It’s brought everything into question. I remember being a student in university and having my professor tell the whole class that if we wanted a healthy dog to get a mixed breed. And now I wonder if Maezie was unhealthy with something that would explain her death under anesthesia. The vets at the clinic are known not to take any shortcuts and they do monitoring and take all the precautions. I hate to think that they screwed up somehow. I honestly doubt that’s what happened. The way it was explained to me just seems like it was immediate without any warning signs or anything. I’m praying for answers from the necropsy.

Maezie took after her dad not only in looks but also having really bad teeth. I was so looking forward to this being her last dental and we’d just make due with her having just her canine teeth left or whatever.

I actually ended up calling a pet loss support hotline just because I don’t have anybody that I can talk to about this about my feelings and how I’ve been devastated and kinda struggling to cope with it. The shock of it and not being able to prepare for it in anyway has made it really hard. I’d never imagine I’d ever call a hotline but this has just hit me like a ton of bricks. I haven’t been able to eat anything until today. And my hands keep shaking and I’ve just been bursting into tears at moments throughout every day. So today for 1.5hrs I spoke on the phone to some guy in Winnipeg. It actually feels like it helped a bit. My friends and my parents, they just wouldn’t understand or it just wouldn’t be appropriate to talk to them. I ended up becoming that guy who currently doesn’t have a girlfriend/wife and his dogs are most important in his life. So for me it just feels like my life has kinda shattered with this happening. It’s been very overwhelming.

My mom has asked me to send her 5 or 6 of my favorite photos of Maezie to her. I think she’s planning on framing the photos with all of Maezie’s rosettes that she won at dog shows. My mom is really great that way - she’s always thinking of doing something special like that for me.

And yes, I’ve already thought about the future possibly including another yorkie to love. I know I’m not ready just yet for that. I spoke to the breeder of Maezie and she told me that I’m the best puppy parent and, that whenever I’m ready, she’d sell me another dog anytime. So that makes me feel happy and like she knows that my dogs mean the world to me and that I do everything I can to give them a great life. And if I wanted a show dog with full registration, that that’d be fine. I don’t know if I want that. I like showing but I don’t know if I’d ever breed. I’d be pulling on every resource I have to have multiple mentors to do everything right and I just know it’d be a lot of work. So I doubt that’s for me. And she was kind enough to offer to put my name as a co-breeder on some of her litters in case I don’t end up in the breeding business. She knows that one day I’d like to become a judge. And you gotta have your name on some litters if you’re ever to become a judge. And there’s been other people I’ve met at shows who have told me they’d sell me a dog no problem. So I know there’s that option for me in addition to finding a yorkie from a rescue group or something like that.

One day I know I’m going to have to open my heart to another dog to help me, and also Théo, to heal from this. And I know I’d stick with yorkies. I really love the breed.

My heart continues to break for you. --KatysMom

I'm so sorry for your loss , what a beautiful girl.

I lost my first Yorkie, little Scotty, in a sudden, horrific, similar way and though I'd had many dogs in my life, my relationship with my first Yorkie was just totally different. He really was a personal dog, totally focused on and devoted just to me. He made it known that he much preferred my company to the other dogs or people in the house and would fold himself into my arms for a cuddle anytime he could manage it. Followed me into my bedroom for our special time from the first day I came home from work. Most dogs aren't that fond of prolonged cuddling or hugging unless it's their idea - they approach you but if you scoop them up for a cuddle, they usually resist after a bit. Not Scotty. He just nuzzled up and truly fed off that closeness. He'd look up at you in that special way during a hug and just melt your heart.

Scotty was always eager for a cuddle, seemed to draw strength from closeness, but the next moment he was a totally self-sufficient, independent, trouble-seeking little tyrant who ruled our family with an iron paw. He had opinions on everything everybody did and spoke to those as he pleased. And at 3 lbs. with enough charming personality and teddy bear looks, nobody minded, everybody was drawn to him. He found his trouble around every corner but was always so loving, so entertaining, so much FUN.

Suddenly, all of that joy was gone. Scotty was gone - all that love and cute and fun - all suddenly gone at the vet's - and life just seemed to take a deep dive into blackness. I missed the next four days from work home just mourning him. Thankfully I worked for a CEO and a company who totally understood, even my coworkers(they'd all met Scotty). Called my son who had grown up and moved into his own place and he boohoo'ed like a baby - the only time I've known my adult son to cry. Weeks turned into months and finally I grew cold toward having another pet of my own. Rescue work and dog training helped keep me close to dogs but none of them were my little Scotty.

It was 5 years before I could face even thinking about another personal dog, 8 years of researching, talking with and visiting breeders before I brought Jilly home. She was the runt of her litter, had spent the fist 3 months of her life in the breeder's work apron after her incubator time. She required a lot of special care. But waiting that long was a huge mistake. Any precious Yorkie would have gladly helped me through that darkest of times and that awful, ripping pain had I been able to reach out but I didn't know then any other Yorkie could do that for me. I thought it was just a Scotty thing and was gone forever. But I've since learned, with now three such extra-special Yorkie relationships, that all Yorkies have the qualities that Scotty had if you put in the time and effort with the dog. You get back what you give them in spades. A Yorkie is a dog you can have a special relationship with as they are unlike other dogs in the way they prefer their particular human, only you, and make helping and keeping you loved, coddled and cared for, your life managed and entertained their entire life's work.

Sadly though, after losing Jilly, I waited another 5 years before looking again, six years before I brought Tibbe home. I thought after Scotty and Jilly, there was no way I could have that Yorkie thing a third time so I was especially unmotivated to even try a third time, though eventually I missed Yorkiness so much, I began looking again. I looked for rescues in every ad, shelter, pound in our area, drove miles after work and weekends, searched for show-quality breeders with top reps, dogs and even show-quality, standard Poodles but only a Yorkie along the lines of Scotty and Jilly with those squared-up,compact little bodies, small, prick ears, oozing personality and cute teddy bear faces would work I finally decided. So after a year of looking, Tibbe came home with me.

He was a bigger Yorkie, had spent his 9 mos. of life living in a cage under a shed in a what turned out to be a hobby breeder's back yard, very lean, unhappy at the time, looked over-long in the back(I like cobby bodies), was almost feral, kennel crazy and frightened of everything in life. He had lots of congenital issues, medical conditions - all the result of irresponsible breeding but Jilly's breeder had had the litter & breeders sort of dumped on her by that breeder to place in homes and when I called her, finally ready for another Jilly, I went to look at some of her puppies. Instead I saw poor little Tibbe - running in circles. He was so frightened and insecure by the sudden changes in his life, being inside a home, he didn't know what else to do. He fought me, screamed when I approached him and tried to bite, spent most of his time in a panic his first month here. But constant TLC, eventually love(yes, that took a while for both of us), patience, positive-reinforcement training and constant support and finally he just blossomed. Gained weight, muscled up, got a cobby, sturdy little body! He become another Scotty-Jilly, squared. I call him my "Shirley-Temple" dog. He's that cute, that gifted, that into totally into making you happy the way that child star seemed devoted to entertaining you. He's everything I had so badly needed, yet another Scotty/Jilly love and I thank God for him every day of my life. I truly hope you can one day find what you had with Maezie again. I think you can once you're ready.

I can feel your pain through your words. My heart hurts beyond imagine for you. It was my biggest nightmare with every dental Jackson has had. 3 years old is far too young and it's never enough time. Please feel free to come on here and vent or cry any time. My thoughts are with you even though I know that doesn't "help" anything but just know we are here!

Just wondering if you are doing any better.
Gew

It’s been tough, and not just on me. My mom called me yesterday on the phone and was just crying saying how much she misses Maezie. And she picked up Maezie’s paw prints today that they make impressions in clay and then frame them. I couldn’t pick them up, just emotionally I can’t do that, so she did that for me. Neither of us are ready to unbox them. Apparently by the end of the week there should be results from the necropsy. I heard it’s a quick thing to do but I don’t know how thorough of testing they’re doing and whatever. I’m a little surprised it’s taking this long but whatever. I still feel like I just can’t believe it.

I’m back working though. I took a week off work. And I’m thinking about if I’ll ever be able to pick up her ashes. They’re gonna be at the clinic when they get here, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to pick them up, let alone scatter them. I still can’t believe it. It’s unbelievable. This whole experience has turned me into an emotional wreck. I’m just now a very sensitive person that’s on the verge of crying all the time. But I’m holding it together the best I can and starting to get back into the routine of work, hobbies, I have my other dog Théo to take care of, meeting up with friends, etc. So I guess I’m doing better. I feel like I’m able to grieve a bit and that I’ll be able to cope with this ok. I’m still kinda going through the stages I guess. The highs are getting higher and the lows are a little bit more spaced out. In time I think I’ll be doing even more better. So I’m doing ok.

Glad to hear. Time will help.
Gew

I can’t edit my post but I meant not spaced out but spaced more apart is the way to explain the lows, if you guys get what I mean. I guess there’s a time limit on editing posts? Anyways, that’s what I meant.

Sadly, we all get exactly what you mean and have been where you are. Don't mean that to sound trite but you have a family here who know this pain all too well. I'm glad you took that time off work and are allowing yourself normal grief, as too many adults don't. Only get back into regular life as you feel able though returning to that life as best you can usually truly helps distract you from pain for periods of time. I wish you healing and eventually heart-peace.