My gorgeous Dilly
 

Hi everyone, my beautiful yorkie Dilly Daydream died suddenly yesterday.

I am heartbroken and cannot stop crying. I was out with my children but my other two dogs were home with her. I feel terrible I wasn't there for her. I feel terrible for my other two dogs that I wasn't there for them either. She was leaking wet and the vet told my husband that the other dogs wold have been licking her trying to bring her back life, like they do with still born puppies.

My poor girl was covered in blood all around her chest area. The vet told my husband that she probably suffered a haemorrhage and that there could have been a tumour or something on her liver or other organ (I can't remember which) that would have gone undetected. She had a heart murmur and only had a health check two weeks ago - the vet said her heart sounded really good and that she was doing well. She was 13 - although rescued from a puppy farm and the lady who rescued her guessed she was around three so she could have been older. She was my baby girl. I thought we had more time. I don't feel like I'm ever going to be able to move on. I just miss her so much it physically hurts.

The worse thing is that I think it's my fault. I left some chocolate biscuits on the side in an unopened packet and one of the bigger dogs jumped up and got them. When I came home and found her dead, I found an empty packet of biscuits in the kitchen. Dilly only had three teeth left so think my two bigger dogs must have eaten most of them but am sure she would have had some. The vets told me this wouldn't have caused her to die and so does my husband but they wouldn't tell me otherwise would they. I just hate myself. If I hadn't left them on the side and the dogs didn't eat them would she still be here?

She shared a bed with my beddlington terrier and now I look at her asleep with Dilly's space empty beside her.

I have a six year old and one year children who have never seen me cry but the last 24 hours I've done nothing but and feel awful they've seen me so upset but I'm falling apart. I just want my Dilly back. I love her so much. Sorry for rambling. Just hope someone will understand how I'm feeling

I'm so sorry for the loss of sweet little Dilly. May she rest in peace. I'm no expert, but I don't think chocolate could kill a dog that quickly. I know they can get very sick & pass away from the illness, but I'm guessing it would take more than a few hours.

I understand your pain & grief, it's devastating to lose our furry family members. You are in my prayers to find strength & comfort during this sad time.

Bless your sweet heart! Please allow yourself to grieve without the guilt. I have seen more than one dog get sick after ingesting chocolate (my son's labs while we are at church on Christmas eve, our first Yorkie) but none of them died. The reactions took time and were NOT immediate.

It is so hard to say goodbye, especially when we don't expect it. Please know that our thoughts are with you.

So sorry to hear of your sudden loss. Please try not to feel guilty or blame yourself. We can't be there 24/7, as much as we would like to!
In time, may the wonderful memories you have of her fill your heart with gratitude to have even been a part of her life. Sounds like Dilly had a grand furr family to me:)
This is a big loss, so your children seeing you cry is showing outwardly how much you loved her, and is a part of life.
RIP Dilly.:aimeeyork

Claire, words can't express what my heart feels for you. We lost our shih Tzu about 3 months ago. It's very hard to lose our babies!

Thank you so very much for all your kind words. I was too upset to reply yesterday but reading such nice comments really helped me so very much.

I'm starting to believe that it wasn't the biscuits and that this was just a coincidence. I hope beyond hope it was anyway and hope more that anything that my gorgeous little Dilly didn't suffer.

I will love and miss her forever more. At the same time I feel blessed to still have my other two dogs to love and care for. Focussing on looking after them is helping me a little.

I can't see the pain I'm feeling ever going away but hopefully I will learn to live with it.

Thank you again and much love to all of you and your furry little ones x x

Sorry to hear about your little shih tzu embgirl. Sending you a huge hug x x

Hello Claire,

Firstly, I am very sorry for your loss. If it is worth anything I would say this: don't feel guilty. You did not mean harm and if you could be there and do something, you would be doing your best to help. I myself was beating myself up during past few days and I was drowning in dark thoughts, challenging myself with questions "what if, or did I really do my best?" First: yes, we do our best for our little hairy friends, at least most of us. Just the fact that you are here, on this forum indicates to me that you are truly yorkie fan I you have the love towards them. And the other thing what I just realized: that little pooch of yours would be heart broken if it would see you in this condition. Our dogs were the happiest when they felt we are happy. Conclusion: be and feel the way your yorkie would love to see you to be. I myself am doing that right now, knowing that I did everything in my power to be a good owner, to make my little yorkie friend as happy as I possibly could, respected and cherished the love and companion given to me and when death took us apart I will continue now to pay that respect by remembering only the good things and memories. And therefore my advice is: be happy, you had a friend in your dog many people will never have in their whole life!

I am so very sorry for your loss.

So sorry for your loss. As another person said earlier...We can't be home 24/7 as much as we would like to. This could have happened when you were sleeping, so please don't feel guilty. Prayers for you and you family! RIP sweet Dilly!

I am so sorry for your loss. I know there no words to make it better. Allow yourself to grieve. Prayers.

I'm sorry for your loss of your precious baby and for your heartache. Dilly will always be in your heart and may her precious memories get you through this hard time. Rest in peace, Dilly.

Thank you so much. You are such kind people to send such warm words. They really have been such a comfort to me.

I have been through so much in the past but this is easily the hardest and saddest moment I have ever experienced.

I will try my best to be happy for Dilly. As Reprak said Dilly was happiest when I was and so are my two other dogs, so for them and for Dilly I am trying to keep my spirits up and feeling blessed that Dilly was in my life and has left me with so many wonderful memories. I've ordered a photo keyring for my car key and a multi frame of photos for the lounge. I've also bought a book to write all my thoughts and happy times with Dilly. Am hoping having these physical things will help me feel like she's not completely gone.

I still can't believe it. I keep feeling her nudging my leg for a cuddle or catching her in the corner of my eye only to realise that it's not her at all. Love you so much my darling Dilly x x x

Don't be so sure that it's not her! I've seen & heard enough to truly believe that our loved ones (skin & fur) visit us when we need it most.

I really hope so Intilis! I'm struggling today. One of Dilly's kisses is just what I need. Cant believe how bad I'm feeling again today. Not that I've felt better but today I just can't stop crying all the time again. I still can't believe she's not here. I took my other two dogs out for their morning walk and went to pick Dilly up when we got to the steps - she didn't like walking down the steps too much so I always carried her. Would give anything to go back to this time last week when I still had her. Am dreading it being a week tomorrow.

I am so so very sorry for your loss of ur sweet Dilly. May she RIP and sending many prayers and hugs to you and your gang. :(

I'm so sorry you lost Dilly. I remember how shattered I was when Minnie died last year. It was the saddest and worst day of my life too. For me, the only thing that got me through my devastation was talking about it, about my little yorkie girl, reading about others here who love their pups so much. The first smile I cracked after losing Minnie was from reading this blog from a yorkietalk friend named beachdog:

Paris the Blind WonderDog

Crying is good right now. I think talking is too. I don't think it's healthy to bottle up that kind of sadness. It always has to hurt this much.

Hugs,
Chris

Rest in peace precious Dilly. You were a very good mommy to your little darling. I lost my Dudley June 10 and I still miss him but I know he is in a better place now, and waiting for me at the Rainbow Bridge.

Nothing wrong with crying your heart out. It helps us heal. I am sending you healing prayers.

So very sorry that you are going through this sad and painful time. To hear your experience brakes my heart.i have had such experiences too and only time and releasing the tears helped to heal the pain. Just as others have said the sweet memories of Dilly will help you. i did a photo album too for one of my little girls this did help with the pain. Praying for you as you move ahead for the good memories to fill your heart more and more. Hugs to you and your other furry family members and your little children who may also be missing a furry friend.

dog
 

Claire, I am so sad your precious Dilly has passed. It leaves us heartbroken and you will cry for awhile. I did with my Teddy Peanut. He passed at 10. I just have to believe it was Ted's and Dilly's time and there was nothing we could do about it. Nothing we did caused this. Last night my pastor said that death is an appointment. Every person and I believe animals too have their day determined. We should not try to figure it out but just place our loved little Yorkie back into their Creator's arms. They did their job on earth and now they must go. My prayers for comfort for you. You were blessed with this precious dog.

So sorry for your loss ((((hugs)))) I had a little yorkie years ago my daughter was little she had chocolate chips in a bag and dropped some on the ground my 4 pd yorkie ate some. He had seizures,but he didn't die. The ingredient in chocolate that's harmful to dogs is said to be 10 times more toxic in baking chocolate. So with that said I truly believe this awful tragedy is indeed not your fault...... :)

Thanks for your kind messages. We picked up Dilly's ashes from the vets yesterday. It made me cry at first but then I did feel some comfort in having them, like part of her was back with me. We were taking our other two dogs for a walk on the moors so took Dilly too - felt nice to take her for one last walk. I don't know what I'm going to do with them. Thought I would bury them in a spot in the garden that she liked but am reluctant to let them go just yet.

Have stopped crying so much, although am in tears typing this. It's my Husbands Birthday tomorrow so I'm going to try to be happy for him and have a nice day but it's so hard. Would give anything to have Dilly back. Sending much love to you and all your furry little ones x

dog
 

Life is full of tears dear Claire. How I wish you did not have to go through this. Somehow we are supposed to get stronger and then be able to help others going through the same thing. I still cry when I think of my dogs that have passed. It helps to have their pictures on the wall. I remember the good fun times and when they sat at my feet through a horrible cancer battle. We are blessed to have our dogs but like all of life we have to let them go. You are so precious to know the love a dog can give to us. The Lord sees every tear that falls and He will send comfort and peace to your heart. You will know Dilly is in that rainbow bridge beautiful place just waiting to greet you one day. That is my hope, I will see Jesus and all my family and of course our sweet fur friends!

What to do with the ashes
 

Hello Claire,

I know that feeling you are going thru as I picked up the ashes last Wednesday. I also felt a bit better, put the urn on a shelf where I can see it, and I lit up first candle beside it last Saturday. Now, comes to what to do next, here are some ideas:
10 Amazing Things Your Ashes Can Do After You Die | Mental Floss
As for me, I think I just keep the little urn where it is for now and when I return to Canada I will bury it and plant a tree on the grave. That is my plan.

Peter

I am so sorry for your loss but please do not blame yourself. Susan

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your precious Dilly. May she Rest in Peace with all the furbabies at the bridge.

Thank you all and thank you Reprak for the - what to do with ashes - link. I like the idea of having them made into a precious stone but am hopeless at loosing jewellery so wouldn't trust myself to not loose it and then can imagine i'd be devastated all over again.

For the moment I have kept Dilly's ashes with me in the house, it is giving me some comfort to have them there. Am having very up and down days. Some days I seem to be able to reflect on all the good times and focus on my family and dogs that are still here. Other days I'm hysterically crying and blaming myself all over again. I would give anything just to have her back for 5 minutes. I miss her so much. I think it's only just sinking in that she's actually gone. Miss her so very much. I feel like part of me has gone with her, I don't feel that I'll ever be the complete person I was when I had Dilly again. It's left such a hole in heart.

It has been 4 weeks yesterday that I lost my gorgeous Dilly. It still hurts so much, I feel heartbroken and devastated. Have stopped crying so much during the day but in the evenings I fall to pieces still. When walking my other two dogs I'm constantly welling up with tears and miss carrying Dilly in my arms. I keep calling my little girl and other dogs Dilly by mistake. It still doesn't feel like it should be real, still feels like she should be here with us, laying on her spot of the bed. I'm still blaming myself, everyone tells me it wouldn't be my fault, that the two bigger dogs would have eaten most of the biscuits and that it wouldn't have made her die, and if it did it wouldn't have been as quick as the time I was out. I want to believe them, I want to think it wasn't my fault but I can't, we'll never know, and that's eating me up. I won't even let chocolate in the house anymore and am constantly panicking that something bad is going to happen to my other two dogs. I feel guilty when we all go out somewhere and everyone's enjoying themselves all apart from Dilly. I gave my dogs left over roast dinner today which Dilly used to love and felt so guilty that she wasn't having any. I still haven't been able to tell anyone other than my close family and one friend that she's gone. I just miss her so much. How is she not here? it wasn't her time! it was too sudden, she'd survived so much before and always came through like a little fighter. When will I feel better? when will I stop crying? I want her back so much.

Hi Claire.....4 weeks is still early. Everyone is different on how long they grieve. I lost my two dachshunds 3 years ago and I still cry every once in awhile over them. I even call Remy by accident one of my dachshunds name (Hershey). My husband has done the same thing. We laugh when we do it because Remy does do things that Hershey did. We joke and say that Remy is Hershey reincarnated. I read all the stories on YT about furbabies that have passed and it brings back the memories of when my boys passed and I cry like a baby. I am a very sensitive person when it comes to people or animals being sick, abused or passing away. Just take your time grieving and within time it will get a lot better. I do believe she is still around you, having fun running around and playing.