My little Jasper is gone and I miss him so much I don't know what to do with myself. It has been 4 days and I am getting worse. I get panicky feelings and then cry from the depths of my soul. I miss everything about him. I joined this forum today because I know there are people here who understand. I have many friends and loved ones who care, I even got flowers from my son, but I can't keep talking about it to them so I came to you all. Jasper must have fallen down the stairs when he went to go potty because when I called him, he didn't come to the door. I found him on the bottom deck and brought him upstairs and found he was holding his back leg up. I took him to the vet and his hip was out of the socket so at about 6:30 they put him under to put the hip back in the socket and he died on the table. He was only 1 1/2 years old, weighed just over 4 lbs and he was my snuggler. I can't believe he is gone, Jasper was our little guy and such a sweetheart. Dale and I are broken hearted and already miss him so much. I couldn't even buy bananas today because he loved them and always wanted little bites. Everything I do, always had an expectation of something wonderful that Jasper would do, and I always feel what is missing. He has left such a big hole in my life. I always thought I was taking care of him but it turns out, he took care of me just as much. I will never forget that little guy. I have had many people say or think that I should sue the vet for bringing in my Jasper for a hurt leg and having to leave without him because he died for what seemed l...ike a simple procedure. Yes, It is possible that he was over anesthetized as it is apparently really tricky anesthetizing such a small dog. I remember the vet coming in the room and saying "I lost him on the table (with a question mark in her tone). I could see the shock on her face. "This shouldn't of happened, I don't know why this happened. I tried to revive him for 15 minutes and he was just gone so fast. I am sooooo sorry." and her eyes were filled with tears. At first I was shocked and didn't believe it. Then I know my Lord showed me her heart and that she was devasted to have to tell me what just happened and she would of given anything to give him back to me. My heart went out to her in that moment and I knew *blame* was useless, and mean, and served no purpose. She offered to do an autopsy, but I said I didn't need one because it wouldn't change anything. Sometimes it doesn't help to get the "why" when missing him was all that mattered. She graciously told me that I didn't owe the vet anything and offered to cremate him and give me the urn for his ashes because she saw how I felt. The truth is, she could of still charged me because they used their facility, there drugs, their time and vets and hospitals do this all the time, even though the outcome isn't what you expect. Showing Christ's love and forgiveness is first in my life and nothing in me wanted her (the vet) to feel like she didn't do her best and I know her heart was in the right place. Isn't that all that really matters? We should always look at the heart first. I tried to load pictures of him but the site says they are too many KB and I don't know how to fix that. |
I am so very sorry for your loss. Come here and talk about your feelings and Jasper as much as you need. These people are wonderful. Praying for God to ease your heart! |
I am so very sorry for your loss It does leave a awful void in our hearts. I agree with you on how your handled the vet. It does sound like she really was sorry. But it's so hard when they are taken from us so fast Sending hugs and prayers Rip little one |
I am so very sorry for your and your dh's loss. Such a sad way to lose your baby....sending many prayers to you both at this difficult time. hugs. |
I am sorry for your loss.Susan |
I am so sorry about little Jasper. I can feel your broken heart in your words. You are a very kind and dear person not to blame the vet. I have tears in my eyes right now for her pain and sorrow as well as yours. Sometimes things happen that we don't understand. This is one of those things. I think Jasper was in your life for a reason, no matter how short that time was. Let your faith in the Lord be a comfort to you and know that little Jasper is not suffering now and you will see him again. I would have done everything exactly like you did. I would not have gotten an autopsy either but I would think that he may have had some internal injuries from his fall that may have taken his life. Rest in peace sweet little Jasper. God has a new little Yorkie angel in heaven with him and He will take good care of him for you until you see him again. Hugs and prayers to you. |
Thank you all for your replies. It just helps to hear from people who understand. I am trying to keep busy but everywhere I turn and everything I do, some part of it reminds me that something is missing. I gotta tell you. I have had many dogs in my life, but that little yorkie was the most like having another child. lol I raised 6 and I do have other dogs, but he was my little shadow. I couldn't sit down without him crawling in my lap and snuggling in. I just love the way they wrap themselves around you with their neck. They are amazing and I know I will get another one. I just want to wait and mourn Jasper because I don' want to try to replace him. That's not fair to the next pup to get it with such expectations. I am looking forward to loving the next one though. For now, I will focus on my other doggies. I was able to load pictures in an album but I don't know how to get them to this thread. I just hope my little panic attacks stop happening. I think I get them because every time the vets brought him back to me, in between procedures, he would lay on my chest and wrap his neck around mine and kiss me the whole time like he was so glad he was back in my arms. Then I panic because I feel like I did something wrong and didn't protect him. He should still be here. OMG He should still be here. |
One of the worst losses we can face is that of a loving puppy and their dying is such a mystery to us. I lost a little one under a car and will never forget her loving ways. I'm so glad the Lord has given you a gracious and forgiving heart toward the vet. It will help the healing. You are in my thoughts and prayers. |
I am so sorry for your loss of Jasper, I truly can feel your hurt and the shock of it all, I lost my beautiful little Abby the very same way a few years back. you have so much love to give, i'm sure you will find another baby in time...never to replace him but to share the love you had for him.. RIP sweet baby |
Thank you so much Kathy |
Thanks for your understanding and reply |
Thanks so much for your prayers and reply. I really appreciate it. |
Thank you Susan. |
Thank you for your kind words. Yes, he may of had other injuries that weren't seen, it's hard to say. It's so weird because I keep thinking, if only I let him out earlier, or later, or he had the surgery earlier in the day. Any little change may have changed the outcome. But I know in my head, that doesn't really matter. He had to go potty and something happened outside. I didn't see it I just knew he wasn't coming to the door. Anyways, I just miss him and it helps to know that there are other people out there that understand. He was my first Yorkie and I had no idea that dogs could be so different. He was unique and I am finding out that Yorkies all seem to have the same loving tendencies and connection to their owner. I look forward to getting another one, I just want to make sure it is healthier and doesn't have weak hips. He often yelped from his (leg) and limped occasionally, I now know it was probably in his hip the whole time. |
OH I am so sorry that happened to you. So hard to go through. Thank you for understanding what I am going through then. I look forward to the day when I am not walking in a fog and can think of him with a smile instead of heartbreak. |
I am so sorry that you lost your Yorkie that way also. I know you are right. I look forward already to the day I can get another Yorkie. Maybe a girl this time. |
I'm so sorry for your loss. They are special furbutts, these Yorkies, and really know how to hold your heart. Please know that it was nothing that you could have prevented. I did have a chance to look at the pictures of Jasper on your page and he was just precious. Breaks my heart ...so very sorry for you, and sending prayers for your healing. |
Oh my heart is breaking for you. I am glad that you have the comfort of our Lord to help you through this but you are still hurting. Prayers and ((hugs)) for you and your husband. |
Thank you Roccosmommy and Bluebell. I am keeping busy today so that helps. |
I am so sorry for the loss of your little Jasper. These little ones are just like children, and we grieve deeply when they are taken from us. I wish you all the best in the coming days, I know it is sad and shocking and hard to wrap your mind around, especially not knowing for sure what happened. When your heart heals a bit, it will be good to once again let joy of puppy love into your life. |
Thank you Mauigirl. Your pups are precious. I have to say, I am a bit envious of where you live!! I bet it is gorgeous there. |
I am so terribly sorry for your loss of Jasper and the grief you are feeling. It breaks my heart! I send sincere and heartfelt sympathy and will be praying for God to comfort you and your husband. I'm so sorry. |
Thank you so much Connie. I can't wait til I can save to get another one. Everyday that goes by shows me that I just need to have another Yorkie in my life. They are so special. |
Oh my God, I can't imagine losing my furbutt so quickly. I know what you mean about expecting to see Jasper at every turn. It took me at least two weeks for me to stop walking to Minnie's favorite spots in the house, expecting to be able to see her, get kisses, wrestle around, stuff like that, and then realizing she's gone when I got there. I'd always be turning my head to look to see if I needed to chase her out the kitchen when cooking dinner (was always paranoid she'd run under my feet and make me drop a pot or something). I would say don't rush into getting your next pup. I know I thought about it not too long after Minnie passed, and one night I had this horrible nightmare that I had the cutest little yorkie pup in the world but that I just couldn't play with or snuggle with him because I wanted Minnie, not anyone else. It's about the saddest dream I think I have ever had. So I waited until it was obvious that it was the right time to get another yorkie pup, and spent a lot of time researching breeders. Found a breeder I loved, got my pup Cookie, and either that week or the next I had a dream Minnie and Cookie were out on an expedition, with a smiling and excited Minnie leading the way and Cook and I following. |
I am so very sorry. I can feel the pain you are in. I felt the same way when my Sammy died and I still cry for him even though it is two and a half years since he's gone and we have a wonderful rescue puppy. Sending hugs and prayers to help mend your broken heart. Valerie |
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband. Jasper was a beautiful boy and so lucky to have such a loving mom. I know you are heartbroken and miss him so much. You will always feel like a part of your heart is missing but maybe one day you'll be able to love another little one. Rest in peace sweet baby Jasper. If you run into my girls at the bridge tell them their mom loves them. |
I feel your pain.... All too much. I lost my Rocky on dec 5, and then our Bully decided he loved Rocky more and we lost him dec 31! I too have those panic feelings. I felt I was doing well after we got Rockys ashes back and then Bully left and my world fell part. I keep asking my dh if we will be ok!!! Yes, we will they are happy.. But we both cry. The kids to have taken a shock Please remember the happy moments!! Together we will get thru it! All my love and hugs |
I'm so sorry for your loss, of your beloved Jasper and can understand the panicky feelings you have it will get better with time. Jasper , will always be in your heart. |
He sounds like a wonderful little guy. I'm sorry for your loss. I applaud your strength of character to not blame yourself or the vet. I lost a dog, my best dog, at the vet 17 1/2 years ago, the day after my eldest daughter was born. I was an emotional wreck, I blamed the vet. Later I realized that it was his time and not the vets fault. I hope you can find peace.... it took me sooo long. In hind sight, I think I should have gotten another dog sooner after Duke's passing. I waited over a decade. |
I am so sorry for your loss, Jasper sounds like he was an amazing yorkie, unfortunately only time will help ease your pain. You will know in your heart when you are ready for another puppy, for each person this is different. |
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