I'm just going to chime in and say that I agree with what the others here have already said. Wait, grieve, give yourself a little time to heal. Do nothing in haste that you may regret later. Know that we are here for you now and will continue to do so. You need Cassie right now just as much as she needs you. Please wait...

Thank you all
 

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I appreciate everyone so much. I seem to need to sleep. But I use your words to keep me and hold me tight. I read every word

Shellie

One of the first things a grief counselor said to me after losing my dear husband last year was "be kind to yourself". You have suffered a tremendous loss and nothing makes sense right now but Cassie needs you and Muffin would be sad to think losing her caused Cassie to lose you. Rest and be kind to yourself. Grieving takes a lot of energy. Hugs

Shellie, please don't think yourself an unfit mother to your babies and give Cassie away, because I doubt there will ever be another who loves her the way you do. Life is so fragile and it can be taken away so easily. It doesn't make you a bad person or an unfit owner. I have never been in the situation you're in, but my brother has. When we were kids he killed our pug one night when in the middle of the night he put his legs over little Pugs' head with the blanket on, suffocating our little guy. He was beyond devastated and it took him so long to get over it, but he is an awesome person who loves animals so much and does so much to save them (he rescues and rehomes lots of dogs who would otherwise be gassed at shelters). And he sounded like you do for so long, but we just had to tell him over and over that although what happened was truly horrible, it was an accident and they can happen to any of us. It's so heartbreaking to read about little Muffin; I mean this has to be the hardest thread to read I have ever seen here. What makes it so hard to read is that you're beating yourself up so badly when every one of us who has read your other threads knows you're an incredible mother to your pups. We have no reason to lie to you.

This comes off kind of harsh but please know that I do not by any means mean this in a hurtful way. But as a loving and firm believer. My dad ran over my golden retriever by accident and killed her many years ago. But that didn't mean I wasn't worthy of having my other dogs. I wasn't going to give my pride and joy away to god knows who because my father made
A terrible mistake. That would be selfish of me. It wasn't her fault either. He should have been more careful. It is not your fault. I know I'm very codependent and I always feel everything is my fault. And in situations like these, we feel as if we failed our babies. However you did not. Life goes on with or without people and animals. Maybe the lord wants you to dedicate yourself to the miracle he has saved. Cassie is a miracle. She survived. And though its awful what happen to muffin, now is the time to really help Cassie and let her help you. What would be selfish is to just give her a new home because you didn't stop and allow yourself to grieve and made a impulse decision. You will regret giving her a new home once time sets in. And if Cassie is given a new home she won't be able to handle the stress or heartbreak of the one person who believed in her ( aside from all of is) I alone have grown so attached to you and your babies. But please don't give Cassie away. She depends on you and that would be letting her down. You will end up hating yourself. Cassie is your baby to. Dont forget that. Its not your fault. It was a accident. I love all of you and I've cried with you and so has my mom and even my fiance. You have a HUGE support team. You are strong and will get through this. Cassie won't unless your by her side. There is no telling how much longer Cassie has here on earth but she pulled through BECAUSE SHE LOVES YOU! And you didn't give up on her! So why start now. Cassie will be fine. If your worried it will happen again, ask your father nicely to not mess with Cassie because she is so fragile. I'm begging you pleaseeee for the sake of Cassie and Muffin , don't let Cassie go. That is not what muffin would want. I'm still praying for you guys and crying with you. I look at my baby and think I'm not a good yorkie mom because he's so crazy and there are times I think about finding him a new home because I sometimes feel I can't give him.everything all of the time. But then I see how much he loves me, how he depends on me and follows me around and then I realize how selfish that would be because his little heart would break if I left him. I would be devastated, and so would Cassie. We are all here for you. Give it a good week before you do anything. Pleasssssseeee. Best of wishes and many prayers.
Kristen

Patti, this is so true. Shellie, please listen to this, and do whatever tiny steps you can to take care of yourself. Get some rest, eat even though you feel you can't, and let everything around you just slow down as you regain your strength to go on. Breathe....slowly and deeply, and let your energy come back.

Sending you prayers and hugs, all through the day and night.

Was Muffin a golden yorkie? She looks kind of reddish so beautiful. Scarlett who we just lost was a reddish color. Hence the name Scarlett. I sure hope you are doing ok. I knw the pain you are feeling. Prayers for you.

Thank you for your kind words. No, Muffin was a back and tan yorkie, your garden variety color, but she was gorgeous and she was bright as a new shiney penny, and loving as any sweet baby could be, and spirited and adventurous and full of fun, and life, and very attached to her family.

My heart goes out to you on your loss of Scarlett.

Shellie

Shellie, accidents happen. We can't control everything. The fact is Muffin died doing something she loved to do - being with you and your dad and connecting with her people. That is the way I want to go - accident or not. Really. Remind yourself this each day - we can do the best we can do - but we can't control everything.

I know for a fact that each day you wake up and do the best you can do. Better than most can do in fact. I've witnessed it with your love and care of both of your girls - and the fact that you are caring for your father now.

I'm sure your father feels awful too - but please be kind to yourself and to him. Give yourself some time. Have a grief counselor come out or your pastor come out if you can.

Sending love and prayers your way.

This is so heartbreaking I just can't bear it. I am so sorry for your loss. I do hope you find it in your heart to keep Cassie. She needs you. I pray that you find solace and strength.

Shellie, I don't have anything to add to the words that have been given to you by others and by myself in your other thread.

I just have you on my heart so strongly right now and that is my signal to pray extra hard for someone right at that moment. I hope you have gotten some sort of sleep. I'm praying very hard for you right now. Very hard for Cassie right now. Very hard for your father right now. Shellie, you will get thru this. I know those are empty words. I've been unconsolable from loss before. I do get that it seems like it will not get better. But, as I said before, please just breathe in and breathe out. Give Cassie a hug and a kiss from you and from Muffin. Sounds weird but it will help...if only for a nano second. One second, one minute, one hour at a time. We are here and God is here for you.

dog
 

Dear Shellie, Please see how precious you are. I look at life like this-each of us dogs included have a day of our birth and a day of our death. No matter how it happens it is our time. It was time for your little dog to go back to her Creator. Somehow with the help of Jesus Who heals the brokenhearted we go on. Do not give away the dog that loves you so much. She needs you and you need her. Give yourself time to heal and I know you will be so glad you didn't give her up. Go to Jesus, give Him your hurts and receive the comfort only He can give. He will assure you He, the Creator of all dogs has your angel Yorkie . I live in Santee, not far from you. I am retired. You can call me or we could meet somewhere if you want. I care for you. I am praying for you. write to me bsimpson1@cox.net Sending love to you my friend, Sandy

Shellie, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Shellie I just read your account of what happened to your little one and it breaks my heart. I too cared for my ailing father and I know if this had happened with him it would of tore his heart out as bad as it would of mine. I am praying for both of you during this horrible time. I know you feel guilt but you really were doing all you could to watch over her. I cannot imagine what your poor father must be feeling and unable to express to you, bless his heart. God bless you both, and may he send you peace and comfort.

I'm so very sorry to hear about Muffin! May she rest in peace! You cannot blame yourself (easier said than done), but this was just a tragic accident. Unfortunately, accidents happen sometimes. Many others have had tragic accidents also. Don't let this stop you from loving Cassie, or any other dog that may come into your life. Let Muffin guide your heart. I believe her love and memory will help guide you through this terrible time. And one final word... you DO still deserve the love of a yorkie! Praying for you, Cassie, and Muffin.